marriage

4 Comments Posted on marriage, parenting, Pregnancy, Storytelling, Uncategorized

Dear Holly: Mommy is Feeling Miserable Right about Now

38 weeks.

Dear Holly,

Dear Holly: Mommy is Feeling Miserable Right about Now

With your due date being just 2 weeks from today, I get asked by other people on a daily basis how Mommy is feeling.

I always answer honestly and directly:

“She is feeling miserable; as I suspect most women do when they are 8 and a half months pregnant. She can only sleep for a few hours at a time, she’s getting contractions, and she either feels too hungry or too full.”

As much as I hate to see Mommy in discomfort, I have assurance in knowing these are all good signs that you are healthy and growing inside her tummy.

I’ve asked her if she would prefer you be born a few weeks early, but she reminded me that’s not ideal because Grandma (her Mommy) doesn’t fly in from California until the 16th, which is 5 days before your due date in 2 weeks

So if you were to be born early, it would be nice if at least Grandma is here to help. Granted, Nonna and Papa are on call and can be here within about 3 hours too.

I feel that mentally, both Mommy and I are ready for your arrival. I personally am not nervous or anxious about it.

This isn’t our first time to have a baby, so we’re better prepared this time around.

I’m at my worst when I don’t know what I’m doing. But when I am trained on it, no matter how challenging the situation, I can live in confidence knowing I have authority on the subject.

With your arrival, I will not feel like a bumbling idiot trying to figure out what to do. I feel I will be able to appreciate the whole experience that much more.

Obviously, you’re a girl, so there will be new material for me to learn. But as for the basics, I doubt I’ll be in major culture shock.

Love,

Daddy

Leave a comment Posted on marriage, reviews, Uncategorized

Bissell CleanView Vacuum with OnePass: A Dad’s Review (Including Unboxing Video and Demonstration)

Bissell CleanView Vacuum with OnePass: A Dad’s Review (Including Unboxing Video & Demonstration)

I feel like there was this cliché storyline in 1980s sitcoms where the husband buys his wife a new vacuum cleaner as a gift, only to learn that gesture upsets his wife.

The moral of the story in these sitcoms is this: Men like to receive useful tools as gifts, women do not.

For a husband to get his wife a new vacuum cleaner, it has to be completely unrelated to her birthday, anniversary, or any other expected time to give her a gift.

However, it is my observation that men actually like to receive useful tools during these gift-receiving opportunities.

Maybe it’s not the best example, but with my 35th birthday coming up in a couple of weeks, my wife helped me get a brand-new Canon Powershot G7 X camera. (I pitched in a couple hundred dollars, as the price was beyond the budget of a typical gift.)

As a blogger, I see a camera as a work tool; yet it’s the one thing I really wanted. Men like receiving tools as gifts.

At the same time, our nearly 8 year-old Bissell vacuum cleaner finally saw its final day. So my wife looked online at Target and discovered we could buy the updated model for only $75. So we did.

And boy do we both love it!

I’m referring to the Bissell CleanView Vaccuum with OnePass. I was so passionate about it, I made this unboxing and demonstration video:

I’m the one in our household who does the vacuuming every weekend. I noticed immediately how lightweight and agile it is. My wife has tried it out as well and agreed completely.

And it’s amazing to us that we purchased it for only $75 at Target!

By the way, Bissell is not endorsing me in any way to do this review. They were not even aware of me until I Tweeted them this story today.

That’s how much I like this vacuum!

Bissell CleanView Vacuum with OnePass: A Dad’s Review (Including Unboxing Video & Demonstration)

Flowchart below courtesy of ProFlowers.com.

1 Comment Posted on marriage, Nostalgia, parenting, Uncategorized

What Kind of TV Parents are We? (Infographic Included)

Jason-Maggie-Seaver-growing-pains-5110661-402-512

My wife and I have talked before about which TV parents we are most similar to. We quickly decided that Jason and Maggie Seaver, of the 1980s sitcom Growing Pains (1985-1992), best represent us.

It seems like most TV sitcoms of the 1980s revolved around some kind of amendment to the traditional nuclear family.

Like a wise-cracking alien joining the Tanner house on Alf. Or Uncle Jesse and Joey joining the Tanner House on Full House. And don’t forget how neighbor Steve Urkle basically lived with the Winslows.

But with Growing Pains, there was a nuclear family in which the parents loved each other, and unlike most sitcoms since the 1980s, the dad wasn’t an idiot.

Plus, there was no outsider who is adopted into the family; unless you count the final season in which Leonardo DiCaprio joined the cast, but I figure most of us had stopped watching by that point.

The parents were intelligent, hard-working, and sensitive to the children’s psychological needs. Though that sounds like a pretty normal thing to feature on a family sitcom, it’s not.

Writers on sitcoms often can’t handle a happily married couple with kids. If nothing else, the writers have to kill off one of the parents.

Danny Tanner’s wife died after a drunk driver hit her, on Full House.

Then DJ’s husband died while fighting fires, on Fuller House.

And then if both parents are still alive, the dad is by default, an idiot: Homer Simpson on The Simpsons, Al Bundy on Married with Children, Carl Winslow on Family Matters, Tim Allen on Home Improvement…

I would actually argue that the Seavers were actually the most normal, life-like family in the past 30 years, in a sitcom. That’s the simple reason that I believe that Jason Seaver best represents me as a TV dad, and Maggie Seaver represents my wife.

Below is a related flow-chart asking, “Which T.V. Mom are you?”

(Because I fully recognize that the majority of the readers of my blog are not male, but instead female.)

Thanks to Berries.com for this graphic.

Which TV Mom Are You?

Leave a comment Posted on marriage, parenting, Pregnancy, Uncategorized

Dear Holly: You Technically Traveled Back in Time 2 Weeks

31 Weeks.

Dear Holly: You Technically Traveled Back in Time 2 Weeks

Dear Holly,

This week Mommy went in for another check-up.

Mommy told me the appointment went well and the shot wasn’t that bad. Interestingly, she was only up 2 ounces from her last weigh in. (Her coat must have weighed more than she thought from the last weigh in).

She told me the nurse who draws blood and gives shots is the best one and Mommy told her that as well!

Mommy has an ultrasound scheduled in less 2 weeks (March 1st)  when her own Mommy will be visiting here in Tennessee. During this appointment, they will determine whether the placenta has moved up. (Plus, I can get extra confirmation you truly are a girl.)

This week when they measured Mommy’s stomach, they said it’s measuring around 28 weeks which is a few weeks behind, but the midwife said it should be okay—that makes us wonder if you will be a May baby after all. (Your due date has been April 21st this whole time.)

So with this week’s appointment taking place on Tuesday while you were still 30 weeks old in the womb, and today making you 31 weeks old, that means you are measuring 2 weeks behind.

The way I see it, you technically traveled back in time 2 weeks.

On March 1st for the next appointment, we can also get another confirmation you are indeed a girl.

The reason for doubt is that so many people who have seen the way Mommy is carrying you, say she looks like she’s carrying a boy.

I’m looking forward to seeing the new sonogram pictures too. I’m sure I’ll see how you still look like Mommy.

Oh, and you are constantly moving around inside Mommy’s tummy. I can’t hug her without feeling you kick me! You are so active.

We’ll be meeting you in about 2 months now. We are so excited.

Love,

Daddy

Leave a comment Posted on marriage, parenting, People, Pregnancy, Uncategorized

Dear Holly: A Glimpse of Your Upcoming Family Life

30 weeks.

Dear Holly: A Glimpse of Your Upcoming Family Life

Dear Holly,

Tuesday night as I was finishing up dishes downstairs, I happened to hear the conversation going on upstairs, as Mommy was getting your brother Jack ready for bed.

I heard Jack telling Mommy, “Daddy gets toothpaste all over my mouth when he brushes my teeth in the morning. Daddy’s crazy!”

Mommy replied, “Yes, you’ve got a crazy Daddy and you’re lucky to have him.”

That made me feel all warm inside as I heard it.

I then decided to join the moment by sneaking upstairs with my new toy:

Earlier that day, thanks to a Barnes and Noble gift card I had received after helping out a friend, I was able to purchase a really cool pack rat puppet, from the brand Folkmanis.

I’ve named my new puppet Magellan the Mouse and he will be a new main character on web series, Uncle Nick’s Enchanted Forest.

Your brother Jack was standing at the top of the stairs, facing Mommy, as he was getting dressed for bedtime.

Quite successfully, I sneaked up the stairs without him realizing it, just inches away from his feet.

Using a Wisconsin accent, I used Magellan’s movable arms to grab Jack’s ankles, proclaiming, “I’m Magellan the Mouse.”

Though I definitely scared him, he was more excited than anything, to see a life-like puppet in action.

Jack then stuck his finger in Magellan’s mouth and began asking the puppet to start biting him because “it feels like a real rat biting me.”

That’s a glimpse of your upcoming life.

On any given night, you can likely expect something like this to be going on.

You will be raised by an eccentric Daddy who is always up to some new shtick to grow his YouTube audience in an effort to legitimately become a professional actor and entertainer.

Meanwhile, your brother will be crafting his own weird experiments, like placing his leftover Halloween candy into warm saltwater to watch it dissolve, as opposed to showing any interest or excitement in eating it.

Mommy’s the “normal” one. But by default, she can’t be all that normal when she is surrounded by Jack and me.

So where does that leave you? The next few years will help answer that question.

But I have a feeling that you will take after me in more ways than one.

Love,

Daddy