Within two months, everyone in the free world will know whether you are a boy or a girl. But until then, it’s all educated speculation.
From the very beginning, I have confidently told Mommy that you are a girl. Here’s why:
With your brother Jack, it was like Mommy virtually had no pregnancy symptoms other than leg cramps, which we later figured out was because she needed to eat more bananas, which contained the magnesium and calcium she was needing in her diet.
But with you, Mommy is constantly nauseas.
The only relief is when she is asleep. Even though you can’t tell from looking at Mommy that she is pregnant, I am definitely aware because she is constantly feeling either really hungry or like she ate way too much; no matter how little or much she eats.
In other words, her pregnancy with Jack was a boy pregnancy. Now, I believe, Mommy is encountering a girl pregnancy.
Either way, these are all signs of healthy life inside of Mommy, so as much as it’s tough to know she’s feeling uncomfortable, it gives me peace knowing you are alive and well inside of her tummy. That is a blessing itself that I don’t take for granted.
As much as I would love another boy, I feel it could very easily be my fate to have a daughter.
Mommy and I taught 5th grade Sunday School for the past year. And while I loved interacting with the boys, there was something special about getting to know those girls that gave me a glimpse of what it would be like to have my own daughter.
It revealed to me a place in my heart to where I was able to see why parenting and mentoring a little girl would be a rewarding experience.
We’ll know the week after Thanksgiving. We can continue this conversation then.
At the age of 34, I have finally carved a pumpkin for the first time. It’s just something I had never gotten around to until now. Of course, I needed your help.
I had you draw on the faces of the pumpkins with a marker (practicing on a sheet of paper first), then I carved them with a knife, after gutting the pumpkin. These are of course the pumpkins you picked at Gentry’s Farm last weekend.
You and I set up shop in the driveway, sitting at your Thomas the Train table.
I think we did a pretty good job for our first time carving pumpkins.
It brought so much more meaning to the act of going to pick out own pumpkins when we ourselves were the ones to “make them come to life.”
Now that I know how to carve pumpkins, I’m almost eager to do more of them. Since it’s just a once a year event, it’s not something we’ll have a lot of constant experience doing.
But maybe we should. Maybe we should regularly carve pumpkins together. I think we make a great team.
After all, you are a very crafty boy.
When I was doing the dishes on Sunday, I grabbed a Fiji bottle of water that was next to all the other dirty dishes. As I grabbed it to remove the lid to wash it, I realized there were several google eyes floating around, looking back at me.
The funny thing is, I didn’t even question it. I just set it aside; assuming it was just some random project you came up with when you were hanging out with me.
I know that often while Mommy is cooking, you set up your work station at the kitchen table and throw stuff together in a sort of artistic science experiment.
So whether you’re designing pumpkin faces, or making eyeball-filled water bottles, you’re using your talents and having fun in the process.
When I first started out as a vegan, back in April 2013, I definitely wasn’t that cool. I was overzealous and a bit of a loaded cannon.
But I learned from my mistakes and matured from the process; which is what should happen for those of us (like you reading this) who are indeed the emotionally intelligent human beings we think we are.
I polished up my craft over the years. These days, I can very efficiently explain my unconventional lifestyle when people approach me on the subject; even when people subconsciously try to stump me.
It is my policy to never announce my vegan lifestyle in a conversation; the other person has to be curious about what I am eating and ask me. (But that happens a lot, actually.)
The obvious question is always, “Where do you get your protein?”
I explain: “I have 6 food groups; all of which contain the proper protein and nutrients I need: veggies, fruits, grains, beans, nuts, and seeds.”
Sometimes the person will follow up with, “How could body builders they be that big if they were vegans?”
I respond that being a big, buff body builder doesn’t necessarily mean that person is actually healthy. I believe many of them are actually unhealthy.
In my mind, it’s simply unnatural that a person must spend so much time working out and taking supplements; some of which are questionable.
Being abnormally strong does not automatically mean a person is actually healthy; especially for the long term.
Personally, I prefer a more natural approach to being physically fit. I take no less than 2 ten minutes walks a day, plus I ride my mountain bike and run throughout the week as well.
From there, the next question I often get is this: “How do you know you’re healthy?”
I explain that just 6 months ago, I had an appointment with Dr. Thomas M. John of Vanderbilt, in Spring Hill, Tennessee. Without even knowing I was a vegan, he confirmed that for my age and height, I am in the ideal weight range and that I am healthier than most 34 year-old men he sees.
I should point out too that my wife and I are expected our 2nd child to be born in April 2016. Even without meat, eggs, and dairy, I am indeed healthy enough to help conceive a child. Being a vegan definitely did not prevent that from happening.
My doctor specifically noted that my cholesterol levels are great.
That leads to this question:
“Where do you get your fats from?”
Out of the 6 vegan food groups I mentioned earlier (veggies, fruits, grains, beans, nuts, and seeds), it’s the last two, nuts and seeds, which contain the most fat.
On a daily basis, I consume non-GMO, organic peanut butter in my homemade “vegan protein smoothie.” I also have raw, unsalted sunflower seeds in my salad every night for dinner.
Plus, many the dinners my wife makes contain cashews or avocados in them.
By default, vegans consume 0% of their daily cholesterol allowance. Even plants that are high in fat, like avocados and cashews, still contain less than 1% of the daily cholesterol recommendation.
Try finding a vegan food that ever registers having 1% or higher of the daily cholesterol level on the label. It’s impossible. That doesn’t exist.
Sometimes, people are just sincerely confused on what constitutes as a plant. I have been asked these following questions by several people over the past couple years:
“Can you eat bread?”
The answer is sometimes; as long as it’s not made with eggs, milk, butter, or cheese.
“Can you eat eggs?”
No, they come from an animal; and typically just one egg (!) contains at least 58% of your daily cholesterol. Therefore, eggs are very non-vegan.
“Can you eat fish?”
No, fish is an animal; not a plant. But I can eat potatoes, because they are a plant. (People often ask me that when they ask me about fish; I’m not sure why.)
“I heard vegans can’t eat honey; is that true?”
Yes, it’s true: Vegans technically can’t eat honey. I’m not trying to be funny or gross, but the best way to explain it is this:
One of the final frequently asked questions I get is this:
“Do you ever just wish you could go back?”
My answer is a firm and quick no.
I suffered for 2 decades with constant sinus pressure, sinusitis, pet allergies, eczema (dyshidrosis), headaches, and acne. (Not to mention, I was about 30 pounds heavier in those days.)
Now that’s all gone. I’m not interested in having those health problems again.
The last question I get is this:
“Sometimes, don’t you just wish you could have a big, juicy burger?”
No, I don’t miss beef at all. What I actually miss tends to gross most people out as soon as I say it:
Captain D’s.
Yes, greasy ole fish. That’s what I psychologically miss sometimes. But still, there is no true temptation to go back because then I’ll simply adopt all those health problems again.
If I ever were to open the door to fish, I would give in and start eating meat again. I know myself too well.
Being a vegan isn’t that weird. It actually makes a lot of sense once you understand how it works. It’s just uncommon compared to mainstream society.
As a self-proclaimed “cool vegan,” I make it my goal to make myself easily accessible to answer people’s questions without sounding judgmental on my end.
Instead, my goal is to encourage people to be healthier by nixing the animal products they think they need to be healthy; but again, only when they ask me first. I’m not a door-to-do evangelist. You have to come to my tent.
And in case you need a reminder, look at me.
I don’t need milk, yogurt, eggs, fish, or meat to be this healthy. I just need veggies, fruit, grains, beans, nuts, and seeds. Feel free to leave a comment and ask me a frequently wondered question of your own.
Maybe I stand alone in my feelings on this one… and I wish I didn’t feel this way…
But one of the reasons I always dread returning to work from a week-long vacation is that I know everyone who sees me is going to sincerely ask me this immediately:
“How was your vacation?”
I suppose I should analyze the psychology behind why I find that question to be pesky.
1) I just got back from missing at least 5 business days of work. It’s going to take me at least half a day to simply get caught up on my email alone. I don’t have time to be chatty on my first morning back.
2) It was a vacation from work. It’s pretty obvious I had a good time.
3) If I didn’t have a good time, that would be an awkward, unexpected answer. So even if it was a bit stressful at times, travelling with a kid and driving across the state of California or Florida, I might as well say it was a good vacation because otherwise it would only lead to more annoying questions.
4) Why ask me, when you can just look at my Facebook pictures that I uploaded last night? Just look on your phone. What is this, the year 2003?
5) I am bummed because now I have to be back at work. I’m not in the mood to talk about fun stuff. I am still in culture shock, you know. Just 3 days ago, I was still at the beach.
Yes, I sound like a jaded, yet responsible 34 year-old husband and father.
Coworkers are just trying to be friendly and nice. Their hearts are in the right place. I bet they even missed me while I was gone.
Asking, “How was your vacation?” is probably their way of simply welcoming me back.
But seriously, can’t they wait until the end of my first week back- after my brain has had a chance to get fried from all the Excel data entry and I’m ready to escape again mentally?
Last week at school your teacher apparently had read your class a book that talked about a corn maze. So Friday morning as I was helping you brush your teeth, you requested we go to one as a family.
The closest “pumpkin patch” that had a corn maze was Gentry’s Farm in Franklin, TN. So Saturday morning we headed that way.
At Gentry’s Farm, the pumpkin patch is basically right across from the parking lot, so as soon as we arrived, you found the very best pair of pumpkins out there.
Amazingly, they were only $3 each. We also let you pick out an all-white “ghost” pumpkin as well, from the $1 bin.
From there, we hopped on the hay ride and checked out the farm. We got to see some very young calves with their mommies.
Afterwards, you played on some of the playground a little bit before we finally visited the main attraction, in your mind at least.
Before entering the corn maze, we studied the map first. We saw there were two openings into the maze; both serving as either an entrance or an exit, depending on which one you started with.
We were about halfway through the maze when I figured out the trick:
“Jack, just follow the line of people coming towards us; as they should go where we just came from as well.”
You enjoyed your first corn maze. Plus, we saw a lot of people we knew there.
I’m glad you decided you wanted to go. Lots of good memories were created there for our family.
It’s the happening place to be right now in the Nashville area, for families looking to participate in the token American traditions for the fall season:
Picking pumpkins, going on a hayride, and walking through a corn maze.
We also had a lot of fun actually carving the pumpkins, too. But I’ll save that for another letter to you.
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