Dear Holly: In Sickness and in Health

8 months.

Dear Holly: In Sickness and in Health

Dear Holly,

I have to accept that you’re simply in that stage of life right now where you’re ultimately building immunity to sicknesses- in other words, you’re getting sick a lot these days.

Really though, I’d prefer for you to just to get it all out of the way now, while you’re still a baby.

As a parent, this is one of the most anxious stages of raising a child. Since Mommy and I both work full time, there are only so many sick days and vacation days we can take turns using to stay home with you when you can’t go to daycare.

Mommy and I both worked the New Year’s Holiday this year, while Nonna and Papa watched you, so we can help rebuild our dwindling pool of sick and vacation days.

Of course, there’s obviously some irony in there. We work so hard to provide for you, yet we have to keep you in daycare- but then when you get sick, we actually get to spend all day with you, not working- while we care for you in your sickness.

I have this theory that because it’s been such a warm winter so far, that it creates an environment for sickness to abound. So maybe I welcome the cold, the ice, the snow.

The sad thing is I can’t remember the last time you weren’t either sick, recovering from being sick, or about to get sick again. In the midst of adding new viruses and illnesses to your collection, it’s as if you don’t know what it’s like to be normal… to not be sick.

Yet still, you are the same smiley little baby girl- who, might I add, is really enjoying crawling these days. It’s like you’re a cute little puppy who follows us around.

Love,

Daddy

5 Reasons My Young Child “Misbehaves”: Tired, Hungry, Bored, Lonely, or Sick

Louis C.K. spanking quote

I am of the 20% of the American population, the minority, who does not believe in spanking in order to discipline my child.

With that being said, I always give a disclaimer when I write about this: I have no interest in judging other parents for their decisions. If anything, today’s post has more to do with defending my own unusual parenting style.

My theory is that it’s easy and natural as a parent, especially a new parent (which I no longer am), to assume your child is “misbehaving” when really they are needing your attention as a parent, but are incapable of explicitly communicating that to you.

I simplify the symptoms into 5 simple categories. When my child “misbehaves,” he is really just tired, hungry, bored, lonely, or sick.

As his dad, it’s my responsibility to recognize these as symptoms of a greater issue, instead of problems themselves.

Otherwise, I could allow myself to believe my child is misbehaving simply because he is “being a brat right now”.

It comes down to emotional intelligence. I’m a 34 and a half year-old man. I am good at communicating how I feel and at understanding emotions.

However, my son is a month away from being 5 years old, so he’s got about 3 decades less of communication experience and emotional control than I do.

I feel it would be unfair to my child to physically strike him simply because he is tired, or hungry, or bored, or lonely, or sick; blaming him for “misbehaving” when really, he’s in need of my parental provision.

So instead, whenever he is “acting up”, I ask myself this simple question:

“Is my child tired, hungry, bored, lonely, or sick?”

There has yet to be an instance where at least one of those symptoms was not the answer.

I remind myself, that again, my son typically is not going to simply state what the problem is:

“Daddy, the reason I am crying and refusing to sit still is because I didn’t take a long enough nap today at Pre-K. Therefore, the best solution is to put me to bed tonight sooner than usual.”

If I myself am tired, I recognize that fact and make plans to try to sleep; like yesterday, I used my lunch break at work to sleep in my car.

If I’m hungry, I eat. If I’m bored, I find a way to entertain myself. If I’m lonely, I engage someone in conversation. And if I’m not feeling well, I do something about it.

But imagine babies and young children, not being able to necessarily recognize those issues about themselves. They need their parents to recognize these issues and proactively handle, and even prevent, these from even happening.

With my 2nd child due to be born in April, I feel I will be better equipped with this knowledge than I was with my 1st child.

I feel I will be less frustrated because I will clearly understand that a newborn has no way, other than screaming and crying, that he or she is tired, hungry, bored, lonely, or sick; and is depending on me to be proactive enough to do something about it.

So instead of spanking my 4 year-old son, I follow these simple guidelines I learned from back when I was Parents.com’s official daddy blogger for those 3 years:

1. Ignore attention-seeking behavior.

2. Pay attention to good behavior.

3. Redirect your child.

4. Teach consequences that make sense.

5. Use time-outs for serious offenses.

How To Stay Fuller But Eat Healthier This Year (And Still Eat Meat): A Starter Plan

This week I had someone ask me a very relevant question. I have to admit, I feel honored that someone would come to me for my take on this!

How To Stay Fuller But Eat Healthier This Year (And Still Eat Meat)

“Hey Nick. [My husband] is trying to loose weight and I am trying to eat healthier along with him. We are trying to eat less processed foods and more vegetables and protein. We will still eat meat but do you have any tips or websites of healthier food plans or recipes?”

So today, I am going to simplify this for anyone else as well who is wishing to stay fuller but eat healthier this year.

Yes, I am a vegan and have been for more than a year a half, a vegetarian for over 3 years, and kosher for over 6 years. See Dairy And Egg Free Testimonials: Nick Shell- A Year And A Half Later.

But let me be clear, this is not propaganda to try to convince people to adopt my lifestyle. It was a gradual process of several years for me. That’s why I am sharing this plan which actually includes meat.Because back in 2008, when I first starting changing my lifestyle, I was still eating meat.

How To Stay Fuller But Eat Healthier This Year (And Still Eat Meat)

So this is an invitation to adopt part of my lifestyle.

I propose that you give up all dairy, eggs, and high fructose corn syrup for an entire month. I want you to see what life is like when you free yourself of those ingredients alone. From there, you can decide whether this is something you would like to maintain.

I want to clarify why I am suggesting you specifically eliminate all dairy, eggs, high fructose corn syrup, and soda from your diet. See Dairy And Egg Free Testimonials: Ben Wilder, 6 Months Later.

How To Stay Fuller But Eat Healthier This Year (And Still Eat Meat)

Specifically, I am going to focusing on the concept of avoiding cholesterol from dairy and eggs, but focusing on “good fats” from plants. Plants do contain a small amount of cholesterol, but never enough to even register as 1% on the food label! That’s pretty cool. See I Survived A Year Of Being A Vegan, Part 1.

My plan also helps you avoid processed foods.

How To Stay Fuller But Eat Healthier This Year (And Still Eat Meat)

There are 7 things I’m saying you can eat, and 5 that you can’t:

Can eat: vegetables, fruit, grains (rice, pasta, oats, etc.), beans, nuts, seeds, and yes… meat.

Can not eat: dairy, eggs, high fructose corn syrup, soda (even diet), and fruit juice.

See 5 Reasons Your Facebook Friends Are Going Vegan.

I am a vegan who is telling you that if you’ll abide by the rest of my criteria, you can still get away with eating meat.

Granted, it will still largely increase your chances of cancer, diabetes, and stroke in the long run…

How To Stay Fuller But Eat Healthier This Year (And Still Eat Meat)

But for someone who is new to this whole “plant-based lifestyle,” I’m not going to tell you to get rid of meat… yet. That part will work itself out later on your end.

Dairy (anything containing milk):

This mucus-like substance is a product of the endocrine system. When we get sick, we typically produce an abundance of mucus to help wash out the foreign substance and infection. So imagine how your body reacts to having a foreign mucus from a different species in your body. That explains why so many people notice their allergy and sinus problems greatly diminish once they eliminate dairy 100%.

Not to mention, milk products contain the fat from the animal as well. The more dairy you consume, the higher your cholesterol… more on that in a minute.

The 0% Cholesterol Substitute: Switch to almond milk. Substitute cheese with cashews for pasta dishes (mix ½ cup almond milk with ½ cup cashes, in a blender, for a sauce) and avocado for Mexican-type dishes.

How To Stay Fuller But Eat Healthier This Year (And Still Eat Meat)

Eggs:

The main reason to stay away from eggs is the cholesterol. I challenge you right now to walk over to your refrigerator and check out the daily cholesterol intake of just one egg. It’s going to most likely be close to at least 60% of your daily intake. And again, that’s just one egg!

The 0% Cholesterol Substitute: In baking, switch to applesauce and/or chia seeds. You’ll still be able to bake just fine without the eggs and dairy; my wife has been doing that for quite a while now.

High Fructose Corn Syrup:

This is the most processed form of sugar. When you consume high fructose corn syrup, your body spends the rest of the day searching for the rest of the food that naturally came with the corn it was derived from.

In other words, you are constantly hungry because your body knows it was tricked.

The 0% Cholesterol Substitute: Eat whole fruit. Bananas, oranges, apples… whatever kind of fruit you want.

Historically, the human race has depended on fruit as a snack or dessert. Fruit is packed with not only sugar, but also fiber, which serves as the combo your body is actually wanting.

How To Stay Fuller But Eat Healthier This Year (And Still Eat Meat)

Soda: Whether it’s sweetened with sugar, high fructose corn syrup, or whatever strange artificial sweetener, there’s a reason people like me won’t drink it. It’s too unnatural to what the human body can legitimately toleration. If nothing else, soda (no matter how it’s sweetened) will ultimately make you hungrier.

Instead, drink water. My daily goal is to drink at least 2 liters of water per day, if not 3.

Fruit Juice: It’s the same thing with fruit juice: sugar water. Your body spends the rest of the day trying to consume the rest of the fruit.

So it’s simple, just eat the fruit. Don’t drink it- unless, you mix up it in a blender, which doesn’t extract the fruit’s sugar from its fiber. Your body was designed to digest all of the fruit, not just the water and sugar from it.

How To Stay Fuller But Eat Healthier This Year (And Still Eat Meat)

Now, To Get Started…

Keep in mind that you want to substitute fatty foods with cholesterol (like cheese) with fatty foods without cholesterol (avocados, nuts, seeds). Fat from plants is good and necessary; please make sure you are getting plenty of fats from plants each day. Otherwise, you’ll be tempted to eat dairy and eggs.

Breakfast: Your body wants oats. But don’t waste your money on packaged oatmeal which contains sugar and weird chemicals. Just buy a canister of plain oats. From there, mix in some hot water or almond milk, slice up a banana, throw in some almonds or cashews, and break off a square on unsweetened (and therefore dairy-free) square of baking chocolate.

How To Stay Fuller But Eat Healthier This Year (And Still Eat Meat)

Or, use your blender to make an awesome smoothie. Pour in one cup of almond milk, a banana, a tablespoon of chia seeds, a cup of a 2nd fruit in its whole form (like strawberries, blueberries, pineapple).

Lunch: Eat your leftover dinner from last night. See below…

Dinner: For the most part, most of your meals can be Italian (pasta, pizza, lasagna) and Mexican (burritos, enchiladas, or even just rice and beans with salsa and avocado). That’s mainly what our family does.

The majority of our family’s recipes come from this website: Oh She Glows. You will not disappointed once you try her recipes.

How To Stay Fuller But Eat Healthier This Year (And Still Eat Meat)

Make sure you have a dark green salad every night with dinner; there’s a lot of protein in dark green vegetables.

And for good dairy and egg free desserts you can make, please visit Gluten Free Vegan Girl.

Please consider my plan. Other “diet” plans are going to make you count calories and even go hungry at times.

My plan allows you to eat as long as you’re hungry, but just to cut out 5 things:

Dairy, eggs, high fructose corn syrup, soda (even diet), and fruit juice.

And don’t forget the things you can eat:

Vegetables, fruit, grains (rice, pasta, oats, etc.), beans, nuts, seeds, and yes… meat.

How To Stay Fuller But Eat Healthier This Year (And Still Eat Meat)

This has been your introduction to beginning a plant-based lifestyle. Sure, ideally, I’d love to see you stop eating meat, because long term it largely increases your chances of cancer and disease.

But for now, just try this.

Also, there are some wonderful documentaries on Netflix that back up everything I have to say:

Supersize Me, Food Inc., Forks Over Knives, Vegucated, and Hungry For A Change.

I will close by reminding you that I once started from somewhere too. Don’t get overwhelmed. Just start here and feel free to ask me any questions. I am happy to help you in your journey to a healthier life!

How To Stay Fuller But Eat Healthier This Year (And Still Eat Meat)

Marketing Ads that Try to Convince You They are Selling Healthier Foods, Like Natural Cut Fries with Sea Salt

I am thoroughly amused by advertisements designed for morons. The “healthy” snack franchise Smoothie King wins a special prize in my book. Every morning as I’m driving to work I have to look at their lame sign with a weekly message for passers-by. Every year during the first week of May their marquee reads, “Slim down for summer with a healthy smoothie for dinner”.

Yes, because drinking a smoothie with more sugar than two sodas is going to help the situation. Like having a syrup-based smoothie instead of balanced dinner is going to magically melt the pounds away. Simply hilarious.

But this week’s sign literally made me laugh at loud in the car, looking like a crazy man when seen by the cars next to me at the red light: “Flu season? Not this year! -Immunity Boost”.

Are you Efron kiddin’ me? While Smoothie King’s Echinacea-based “immunity boost” in their smoothies has to do some good, it’s asinine to trust that this $2 shot of an herbal supplement in itself will prevent the flu. So lame.

I’m of the old school of belief that says to let nature just run its course. The more I am exposed to what’s out there, the more immunity my body builds.

While I do catch something more serious every five years like strep throat, in which I have no choice but to visit a doctor and get a prescription to fight it off, I’ve learned in my 28 ½ years that pretty much every week of October 14th, March 28th, and sometimes January 15th, I suffer from major allergic reactions. To the air, I guess. And usually when that happens, it turns into a mild form of sinusitis.

I have encountered this so many times that it’s just a part of life to me now. Being that I get around five sick days a year from my employer, I use them for the days of the year I have the most severe symptoms: migraines, toothaches, oversensitive skin, body aches, depression, lack of appetite, inability to focus, foggy short-term memory.

Since I have dealt with allergy and sinus issues most of my life, I know that what many people call being “sick”, I simply call a “bad allergy and sinus week”. Unless I have a lasting fever or am unable to swallow food and keep it down, I am not sick. And I’m definitely not wasting my time and money to go pay a doctor to give me a prescription to weaken my own body’s ability to fight off what I can become stronger by suffering through.

If I’m gonna be “sick”, I might as well enjoy three straight days of Netflix online streaming without the interruption of a doctor visit.