siblings

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Dear Jack: Your Sister Truly Adores You More than I Realized

5 years, 9 months.

Dear Jack: Your Sister Truly Adores You More than I Realized

Dear Jack,

It is important to me that the good and healthy relationship between you and your baby sister is not fabricated or superficial. I don’t want you to hear me saying to another adult, “Ah, he loves his sister and she loves him. They really love each other,” and then in turn you began fulfilling the script in an effort to please me.

Instead, I want to see true mutual love between you to; real and natural.

I have to say, my expectations have been exceeded greatly. You have yet to ever act intimidated by the attention she gets for being the cute little baby girl she is.

What I see instead, is that you are confident in yourself. You are not competing with her.

I say this because one of the first thoughts I had when Mommy and I learned that Holly would be coming, was, “I need to proactively make sure Jack gets enough attention since he won’t be the only child anymore.”

But honestly, it has yet to be an issue. You’re our Kindergartner boy. You are independent and assured.

Your identity is secure in being our firstborn son, not our baby girl. I see no struggle on your end for you to compete for your parents’ attention.

Just take a look at this picture I took of you and your sister before school. Obviously, you’re so proud to have her as your sister.

But just look at the way she looks at you.

That’s how it always is.

I can be on the living floor playing with her while Mommy is making dinner, but the moment she hears or sees you walking in from the other room, she immediately turns her attention directly to you.

She loves you. I think you need to expect her to look up to you from here on out.

Love,

Daddy

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Dear Holly: You are 2 Months Old Today!

2 months.

Dear Holly: You are 2 Months Old Today!

Dear Holly,

It was exactly 2 months ago today that our family was graced with your glorious arrival, in which Mommy amazingly gave birth to you with no epidural. You are everything I hoped you would be and more.

I love getting to go home each day and spend time with you. You are such a delight.

This week Mommy took you to the doctor for your newest check-up:

You are now 10 pounds, 2 ounces and 23.5 inches long; which puts you in the 38th percentile for weight and the 90th percentile for height.

If you remain growing at these proportions, I suppose you could end up being as tall as your brother, by the time you are both adults.

Speaking of Jack, I can tell you two are going to be really good for each other. Even if he’s just coming over to you to making funny noises in your face, you seem to like it.

And he’s so quick to help out Mommy and me when we need some help. He runs so fast to go find the burp cloth or the pacifier or the diaper that we need.

Having you as a sister is a really good thing for him. I feel you’ve arrived at the perfect time in his life. He’s less than 2 months away from starting Kindergarten; starting that new stage in his life.

Simply because of your existence, he is becoming more independent and mature.

I guess I need to start taking more pictures of the two of you together. A common question that Mommy and I get is, “Do Jack and Holly look alike?”

If nothing else, you both have the fairer toned skin; unlike Mommy and I who both have a sort of yellow-tinted olive complexion.

Happy 2 months! We have an exciting trip coming up in a few weeks…

Love,

Daddy

Dear Holly: You are 2 Months Old Today!

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Dear Holly: Your Brother is Practicing for You with a Baby Doll

32 weeks.

Dear Holly: Your Brother is Practicing for You with a Baby Doll

Dear Holly,

As we were spending the night at Nonna and Papa’s house last weekend, your brother Jack and I were looking through your Aunt Dana’s old dolls as Mommy was waking up.

I grabbed a naked Cabbage Patch doll and a blanket. Then, I covered up Mommy’s waist with the blanket and placed the doll underneath, then announced, “Oh, Jack… Mommy’s having the baby now!”

Jack’s eyes got big and he stood still anxiously beside the bed, as he watched me pull out the doll, feet first, from underneath the blanket.

It wasn’t until he saw the Cabbage Patch’s head that he realized it was a joke.

We all immediately began laughing, but I noticed how enthralled Jack was at what he thought was your birth.

When we got back to Tennessee, our family went to Target: Mommy was checking in on her registry; meanwhile, I hung out with Jack in the toy section.

I was not surprised to hear your brother’s first request: “Daddy, let’s see if they have any Cabbage Patch babies.”

The idea was now in his mind to practice taking care of a baby, in relation to your arrival.

(He’s been practicing drawing “babies in their diapers” at school this week.)

However, they only had “kid” Cabbage Patch dolls, no babies.

But then, once we arrived back at our house, we learned that, coincidently, your Grandma (Mommy’s Mommy) in California mailed you a baby doll this week. Quite immediately, your brother Jack took it upon himself to take care of it until you can.

Within minutes, he was rocking the doll in the swing. He also named it “Dollee,” which is not to be confused with “Dolly”: He was very specific about that.

Granted, your brother has a stuffed animal collection which is likely larger than that of the average 5 year-old boy. However, that’s not the same as playing with dolls.

He’s never expressed interest in pretending like a human baby doll was real; only animals.

Until now. “Dollee” is clearly the personification of Jack imagining and preparing what it will be like when you arrive.

Instead of Holly, it’s Dollee… for now.

Of course, he plays with Dollee like a boy would. Tonight, Dollee derailed a train.

Jack insisted that Dollee sleep in his bed with him. It’s very clear to me he is expressing his excitement about you getting here in about 8 weeks.

Love,

Daddy

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Of All The Siblings Who Never Existed

December 7, 2012 at 10:48 pm , by 

2 years.

Dear Jack,

There’s the near daily discussion between Mommy and I about the possibility, in the future, at least a year from now, of us possibly trying to have another baby. Yes, that would mean a younger brother or sister for you.

We can easily think of good reasons we would want you to be an only child. We can also easily think of good reasons for you to have a sibling.

As far as why you should have a sibling, there’s one weird reason that keeps popping up in my head; one that Mommy has never mentioned.

So I guess I have to file it in the “Daddy’s Deep Thoughts” folder. Here it is:

I think about all the potential siblings who would never be born if we just stopped with you.

It just seems weird to only have one more. Why not two more? Why not five? Why not ten?

At some point for financial, logistical, and other practical reasons, that “one more kid” finally becomes one too many.

How am I supposed to know who the final little brother or sister is supposed to be?

Half of me is wired like Jim Bob Duggar, while the other half is wired like every parent in the history of the world who was content with their decision to only have one child.

I mean, to a certain degree, God leaves it up to Mommy and I to decide how many more lives to bring into the existence of this world.

Really? God is okay with my input in that decision?

No matter how many (or few!) brothers or sisters you end up having, or not having at all, much of that responsibility falls on your parents.

We have less than a decade to decide…for us, for you, and for all the siblings who will never exist.

 

Love,

Daddy