parenting

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Dear Holly: You are Officially Learning to Crawl

7 months.

Dear Holly: You are Officially Learning to Crawl

Dear Holly,

I have to remind myself that babies don’t just start crawling all at once. Instead, there is a subtle process leading up to it. And I’d have to say, you’re clearly in it right now.

It was like the moment you were able to start sitting up on your own was the moment you realized that you had the necessary basic skills to start teaching yourself to crawl.

The hardwood floor in the kitchen works pretty well for you, as compared to the carpet in the living room.

Mommy and I were seeing you go through the motions of crawling… without actually moving. You wanted it so bad. After our past couple of visits to Alabama when you saw your Cousin Darla crawling, you’ve set a goal to be able to join her.

Dear Holly: You are Officially Learning to Crawl

And you’re now showing some actual movement.

Over the weekend, Mommy motivated you by placing her phone a few feet away from you. Then I did the same thing with an empty bag of Bear Naked Granola Bites. You love squeezing empty, noisy bags. It is quite the authentic motivation for you.

I realize that you’ll be keeping me that much more on my toes once you’re able to crawl around, but I really won’t mind. This past week, I’ve really appreciated the fact I’ve been able to help Mommy prepare and clean up dinner.

Up until now, it’s been necessary for me to sit on the floor with you. Now that you can sit up, you enjoy having “activity time” on the floor.

I’m not rushing you growing up, but I definitely celebrate you accomplishing new things.

It’s like you are able to reason that the next big thing in life for you is being able to crawl. It’s like I can tell you want to do this not only for yourself, but also Mommy and me.

Love,

Daddy

Dear Holly: You are Officially Learning to Crawl

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Dear Holly: I Predict You Will Look Like Willa, the American Girl Doll

7 months.

Dear Holly: I Predict You Will Look Like Willa, the American Girl Doll

Dear Holly,

Last week an ad showed up on Mommy’s Facebook page, advertising American Girl. Mommy clicked on the ad, after catching a glimpse of a doll with your complexion. As she saw a close-up of the doll, which is named Willa, she realized that the doll looks so much like what Mommy and I think you will look like, that we might just have to get the Willa doll for you for your 1st birthday coming up in April.

I did a side-by-side photo comparison of you and Willa. You just happened to be wearing an outfit with a pink kitty on it, like Willa has on her shirt.

Willa has red hair- as for yours, we’re not sure yet which color it will be: Up close, your hair is light blond. But from several feet away, it has a reddish tint. Plus, it was even redder a couple of months ago.

So Mommy and I just assume we have a precious little future redhead on our hands. I think the red hair is really what caught Mommy’s attention when she saw the ad.

Even the spunky bunny ears Willa is wearing, along with the matching almost-Bohemian shirt pattern, is in alignment with my vision of what you will be like as you grow up.

So yeah, I guess at this point we kind of have to get the Willa doll for you, even if it’s more for us than it is for you right now. Mommy and I love imagining how you’ll be once you evolve into a little girl.

It’s just too easy to imagine that you’ll be a happy, beautiful, and adventurous little girl, since that’s what kind of baby you are.

You can probably see that I am sort of fascinated by you.

Love,

Daddy

http://www.americangirl.com/shop/willa-doll-dnj70

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Dear Jack: I Experience Guilt for Not Being Able to Spend as Much Time with You Right Now

6 years.

Dear Jack: I Experience Guilt for Not Being Able to Spend as Much Time with You Right Now

Dear Jack,

Once we got back from our Thanksgiving trip to Nonna and Papa’s in Alabama, as we were walking through the front door of our house, I put my arm around your shoulder and said, “You did so good on the trip. I am really proud of you.”

As I was saying those words, it’s like it hit me all at once: You were so independent. You didn’t really need me for much the whole time. I didn’t have to worry about you.

Though I was in the same house as you, and often the same room, you and I were interacting with other family members instead of each other; compared to the norm.

So you and I didn’t really have much quality time together, though we did with other members of the family who we don’t see as often.

We did the right thing. After all, the holidays is for catching up with people you don’t see as often.

Yet, I suppose I still somehow experienced some guilt over it. Because as we settled back in after Thanksgiving, I realized how much of my time is required by your sister Holly.

For me to be a good husband and good parent, I have to be holding a baby most of the time we are all together at the house. While I am proud to take care of your sister, I recognize that the days of you and I just being able to hang out anytime are sort of on hold for right now.

Before your sister was born, we could just easily run upstairs and watch a stupid movie together or go outside for a hike.

But these days, my mobility is greatly restricted by me taking care of your sister while Mommy concentrates on the majority of the housework; like cooking and laundry.

I miss our time together. Things will eventually get back closer to how they were before. But honestly, I think it will be another 5 months or so, when your sister turns a year old.

You’re such a good kid. I don’t want to miss out on truly living every minute I can with you.

Love,

Daddy

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Dear Holly: It Felt Wrong Being away from You for 3 Days

7 months.

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Dear Holly,

I went from Thursday morning until Sunday morning without you seeing you or your brother, as I was out in Los Angeles on what I would call a “side-business trip”. While I did have plenty of time to rest and relax while I was there, I was also constantly distracted by the fact that my sweet little baby girl was on the other side of the country.

Undoubtedly, I experienced a level of guilt because I knew that Mommy was left back in Tennessee to take care of you and your brother without my help. It’s not that Mommy couldn’t handle it, but the way our family dynamics work, she and I are both constantly either working our “real” jobs- or we are home, working our other job as we co-parent.

Usually I assign myself to you, while Mommy devotes her time between your mostly-independent brother and housework. So without me there, Mommy had a lot more work to do than usual.

So in addition to me truly missing my kids, I also knew I was leaving Mommy with a bigger burden; not that she ever complained or had a problem with it. Instead, she was nothing but supportive of my trip.

But as an involved modern dad, I am overly aware of my roles for our family. Therefore, I go to bed early and exhausted most nights. I don’t know any other way. And I just assume that’s how it is for all the other parents out there too.

I’m not special in that regard. I’m just like most other parents.

That’s why it felt wrong to be away. Because it goes against my wiring and against the culture of our family.

But then again, one of my roles is to help financially provide for my family while not forsaken my family in that pursuit. It’s a paradox, for sure.

All this is lost on you right now though. All you know is, you smile when Daddy walks through the door each day.

Love,

Daddy

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Dear Jack: A Dad’s Letter to His Son on His 6th Birthday

6 years old today!

Dear Jack: A Letter from a Dad to His Son on His 6th Birthday

Dear Jack,

Today you turn 6 years-old. You’ve never been more independent than you are today.

To me, as your Daddy, that’s what makes this birthday special. That’s what makes you so grown-up now.

This is your first birthday as a kid who is not in day care or preschool.

This is your first birthday as a boy who is able to sound out and read words.

This is your first birthday as a big brother.

I love seeing you develop your own style and identity. You chose on your own that you wanted a Mohawk last week. It goes well with your green army jacket. This is you becoming you.

It is an honor for me to raise you into the next stage of boyhood.

I won’t deny that as your Daddy, I am attempting to raise you in a way that gives you things I didn’t have when I was your age. I don’t mean material items.

In particular, I’m referring to self-confidence.

Dear Jack: A Letter from a Dad to His Son on His 6th Birthday

As a kid, I was shy and unsure of myself. I didn’t realize it at the time, but I was. I didn’t start truly gaining confidence and formulating my own identity until was about twice your age, when I was in junior high.

But I can already see, at age 6, you already have it.

And that’s something I’ll continue to nurture in you. Our quality time together is often based on me pushing you to try new adventurous things.

Though I’m very happy about how my life turned out, I still want even better for you. Undeniably, you are smarter than I was. It’s easy for me to imagine all amazing ways you’ll be able to apply that intelligence along with your confidence.

I know that with you, I have something special. I am raising an exceptional boy. I love you more than you can know.

Love,

Daddy

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