parenting

1 Comment Posted on fatherhood, finance, parenting, Spirituality, Storytelling, Uncategorized

The Search for Wisdom, Truth, and Meaning Ends with Life’s Responsibilities; Including Marriage, Children, and a Mortgage (Or, “I Used to Be a Lot More Fun, Yet Self-Centered and Emotionally Needy”)

As my 20th high school reunion is coming up in less than a year, I think it’s funny how certain people probably remember me as a person I no longer am; for better or worse.

Sure, I used to be a lot more fun back before I was so well immersed in all my current responsibilities. But I also know for a fact that I used to let a lot of things bother me that I no longer do.

One of the least favorite years of my life was when I was 20 years old, back in 2001. And no, it wasn’t necessarily because that was the year of the September 11th attacks. It was because, at the time, my identity as an adult was still forming.

I was finishing up community college, before transferring to Liberty University where I would get my English degree. I had a part-time job as the supervisor of an after-school program. I was a Junior High Sunday School teacher and youth leader at my hometown church. And I was single.

Back then, I was still on a noble quest for things like wisdom, truth, and meaning in life.

Fast forward to present day: I’m 37, I have been married for 10 years (as of next Thursday), I have 2 kids, and I have a full time office job in the Nashville area; in addition to my 4 side hustle jobs that also generate income (this blog, doing SEO for a major university, and 2 YouTube channels).

My wife and I are on a passionate mission to pay off our mortgage early, as we’ve been otherwise debt-free for many years now; including no car payments. We are very inspired to outsmart the system of having to work our entire adult lives just to pay interest to the bank for our home loan.

That’s where I’m at in life.

So honestly, I can’t remember the last time I thought about searching for wisdom, truth, or meaning. I don’t need to.

By default, I get my daily share of wisdom, truth, and meaning through all of my many responsibilities in life; as a married father of 2, with a total of 5 income-generating jobs.

It may seem a bit anticlimactic or unromantic, but responsibility is the answer to trying to find wisdom, truth, and meaning.

1 Comment Posted on fatherhood, Nostalgia, parenting, People, Uncategorized

Dear Holly: Your Incredible Hulk Face

2 years, 1 month.

Dear Holly,

With you having an older brother, especially one who is predictably into Marvel super heroes, it is no surprise that he has taught you how to make “the Incredible Hulk face”.

I started noticing on our trip to Lake Tahoe, that instead of seeing your sweet little smile, you were showing Mommy and me this hilarious grimace instead: a mix between funny and painful.

We even shot a family selfie inspired by the face we kept seeing you make:

Granted, this may be a side effect of the fact your brother is currently going through a phase where he is purposely making silly faces when I try to take his picture. So maybe your Hulk face is your attempt to make the faces he’s making.

Either way, you really enjoy making the Hulk face. You know it’s going to get an immediate laugh from Mommy and me whenever you do it.

Even now has I’m writing this, I’m realizing that perhaps, psychologically, you are at a stage now where you’ve realized you have the ability to make people laugh; and that that’s a good thing.

Your brother is undeniably a funny boy. So it only makes sense his sense of humor is going to rub off on you, as the two of you ultimately by default try to make the other one laugh.

Of course, you’re still a little girl; beyond being able to do a pretty accurate Hulk face.

I shot a quick video of you making the face, in which it didn’t take long for you to start showing off your baby dolls and Minnie Mouse.

It was your way of saying, “Daddy, it’s fun to pretend to be a scary monster, but I want to remind you that what I really like doing is playing with my girly toys right here.”

Love,

Daddy

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Dear Jack: It’s Hard to Take a Normal Picture of You These Days

7 years, 7 months.

Dear Jack,

As I began looking through the more than a thousand pictures I took of our family’s recent trip to northern California, it didn’t take me long to notice a pattern: It was rare to see you just smiling normally in a photo.

Instead, the majority of the pictures show you making some kind of silly face.

Whether it’s a scary monster face, or an over-the-top smile, or just you simply photo-bombing someone else’s photo, you are all about being silly in photos.

Granted, I was able to get some normal pictures of you during our vacation. And that’s good enough for me.

I accept you, as you are, as a 7 and a half year-old boy. I want you to be able to express yourself that way.

So I accept that at this point in your life, you’ve had your picture taken enough to where it’s become a bit of a joke to you.

I don’t mind this. I completely realize that in a matter of about 5 years, I’ll be lucky to even get you to pose for a picture where you’re smiling- in any form. Because you’ll be in that teenage phrase where you are embarrassed by me.

This is actually something I’ve always wondered about: At what point will I no longer be able to include new photos of you in my letters to you? At what point can I no longer get away with including you in my blog?

I recognize that at some point, your need for privacy may override the fact that I love celebrating and documenting whatever is going on in your life each week.

So despite me having written about you at least once every week since Mommy and I knew you were going to be born, that may need to come to an end, some time in the future; or at least, maybe I’ll need to do it less frequently.

It’s very clear to me: Silly, happy pictures of you are much better than no pictures at all.

Love,

Daddy

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Dear Holly: Your Hair is Nearly Getting Long Enough for a Pony Tail

2 years, 1 month.

Dear Holly,

Now that you are 2 years old, the shift from toddler to child is becoming much more obvious.

One thing is that your hair is finally getting long enough to nearly put in a pony tail.

I only took you to get your hair cut  a couple of times; each time, you got a pixie cut.

But I insisted to Mommy that if we just waited a few months, you could have enough hair to pull back your hair so it’s not in your face.

While you would look adorable with bangs, I really like your hair being longer, now that you can grow enough hair to make it work.

Your current look started as what I called “The Unicorn”, where Mommy would pull your hair up into a sprout on top of your head.

Perhaps that’s the reason that one of my current favorite nicknames for you is Little Sprout.

I think you’re now at the stage where if someone who hasn’t seen you in a while sees you in person, their reaction will undeniably be, “That’s Holly? She has grown up! She is a little girl now! When did that happen?”

My answer is that it happened around your 2nd birthday.

You changed so much physically, as well as psychologically. You can talk. You can role play with your toys. You can throw a ball. You can socially interact.

This is what people are talking about when they say that cliche, “Don’t blink, ’cause they grow up so fast!”

Fortunately for me, I haven’t been blinking. I’ve barely been sleeping. But I have definitely taken a lot of pictures. And from October to May, I was able to spend 6 months with you as a stay-at-home dad.

I am grateful. Most dads don’t get to experience that. I’m lucky I get to be your Daddy.

Love,

Daddy

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Dear Jack: Going to See Movies in the Theater Isn’t a Big Deal to You Anymore

7 years, 6 months.

Dear Jack,

When I was kid, getting to go see a movie in a theater was quite an event! It was a special occasion that I never took for granted.

Maybe it’s a generational thing, but I have learned you are sort of already over going to see movies.

I carefully planned our family’s weekend schedule around seeing the newest Star Wars movie earlier this year. But when the time came, after groceries were bought and put away, the bathrooms were cleaned, and I got your sister to sleep for her nap, you asked me, “Daddy, do we have to go see it? Can we just wait until it comes out on Netflix?”

So we didn’t go.

Selfishly, I was disappointed because it would have given me an uninterrupted break for 3 hours on a Sunday afternoon. No responsibilities, yet still serving as a form of spending quality time with you.

But no, I wasn’t going to make you to the the movies. Instead, you just wanted to play at our house.

Though it’s a struggle, I suppose I can understand where you’re coming from… a little bit. After all, these days it seems all the new Star Wars, Marvel, and Disney movies end up on Netflix anyway. And for a movie over 2 hours, it’s nice being able to not have to commit to it all in one viewing.

I admit, too; with all the amazing movies constantly coming out, it’s a little exhausting keeping up with them all.

So much for Sunday afternoons free of parental responsibilities.

Maybe it’s just a phase. Maybe by the time I’m no longer constantly exhausted once you and your sister are older and more independent, when I finally need less of a break, then you’ll see it as a worthwhile experience to go see a movie in the theater.

Until then, Netflix it is.

Love,

Daddy