parenting

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Dear Jack: Going to See Movies in the Theater Isn’t a Big Deal to You Anymore

7 years, 6 months.

Dear Jack,

When I was kid, getting to go see a movie in a theater was quite an event! It was a special occasion that I never took for granted.

Maybe it’s a generational thing, but I have learned you are sort of already over going to see movies.

I carefully planned our family’s weekend schedule around seeing the newest Star Wars movie earlier this year. But when the time came, after groceries were bought and put away, the bathrooms were cleaned, and I got your sister to sleep for her nap, you asked me, “Daddy, do we have to go see it? Can we just wait until it comes out on Netflix?”

So we didn’t go.

Selfishly, I was disappointed because it would have given me an uninterrupted break for 3 hours on a Sunday afternoon. No responsibilities, yet still serving as a form of spending quality time with you.

But no, I wasn’t going to make you to the the movies. Instead, you just wanted to play at our house.

Though it’s a struggle, I suppose I can understand where you’re coming from… a little bit. After all, these days it seems all the new Star Wars, Marvel, and Disney movies end up on Netflix anyway. And for a movie over 2 hours, it’s nice being able to not have to commit to it all in one viewing.

I admit, too; with all the amazing movies constantly coming out, it’s a little exhausting keeping up with them all.

So much for Sunday afternoons free of parental responsibilities.

Maybe it’s just a phase. Maybe by the time I’m no longer constantly exhausted once you and your sister are older and more independent, when I finally need less of a break, then you’ll see it as a worthwhile experience to go see a movie in the theater.

Until then, Netflix it is.

Love,

Daddy

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Dear Jack: For the 2nd Year in a Row Now, You Received the Certificate of Excellence in Mathematics Award

7 years, 6 months.

A year ago for the 2016-2017 school year, out of all the other students in your class, your teacher chose you for the Certificate of Excellence in Mathematics Award. And a year later, as you finished up 1st grade, you won the same award again; this time for the 2017-2018 school year!

I find this quite impressive. Only one student per class can win this award- and you’ve won it both times since you’ve been in school.

Yeah, this is amazing, actually.

It’s interesting because my brain doesn’t work that way. I am horrible at math. I got my college degree in English, by default; as doing so required the least number of math courses possible.

I am so happy for you. You have so much potential. You have many options for a career.

Something I’ve mentioned over the past couple of years is my understanding that I have a very smart boy for a son. I realize I am responsible for guiding you in this talent you have.

I am totally aware that the next decade ahead will determine your decisions for college; as well as your career goals. I take this very seriously.

At the same time, I also place a high value on you getting to be a kid. It’s important to me that you have a well-balanced childhood.

It’s that perfect mix of doing your best in your academics as well as your social development.

As your father, I am responsible for help training a future man. I’m taking all that my own dad taught me, and combining it with what I’ve additionally learned from my own manhood so far.

And from there, I add all that information on top of your own interests and talents, to build on top of your own identity.

My son, the math whiz. I am so proud.

Love,

Daddy

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Dear Holly: Your Brother Taught You a New Word… “Sarted”

2 years, 1 month.

Dear Holly,

It’s so great that you are now able to begin repeating and remembering words. Your speech abilities are getting better and better everyday. I love that even if you can’t express certain things to me, you are usually able to understand the general message I am trying to convey to you.

It definitely makes life a bit easier when you are able to communicate your wants and needs, so I don’t have to learn by instant trial and error.

But… you do have an older brother, who happens to be 7 and a half, who happens to like teaching you some of his own favorite words. And he likes to use words that I don’t use with you.

So more than once now, I have walked into the room, sensing that your brother was teaching you something sneaky. And each time, my senses have been correct.

This past weekend, after the two of you got buckled up in my car, I had to run back in the house real quick to take care of something.

When I returned to the car, it was as if your brother had prepared you for you to do a presentation:

You looked up at me with a proud look on your face, and you announced to me, “Daddy sarted!”

At that point your brother immediately began chuckling, giving away that he had coached you on what to say.

It was difficult not to laugh, but with a straight face, I reminded your brother, “We use the word pop, instead.”

I suppose if it truly bothered me that you were using your brother’s default word for passing gas, I’d stop it. But really, it’s pretty adorable to hear a little innocent 2 year-old girl mispronounce such a stinky word!

And you’re just so proud to say it; not necessarily knowing what it means, just knowing your brother thinks it’s funny.

I’m just waiting for you to say, “Daddy sarted!” in public. Because even though you are randomly saying it, unconnected to any action of mine, who are they going to believe?

Probably the cute little girl. Not her Daddy.

Love,

Daddy

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Dear Jack: Slumber Party at Your Cousins’ House!

7 years, 6 months. 

Dear Jack,

During your first week of summer vacation, which you spent in Alabama at Nonna and Papa’s, you asked your Aunt Dana if you could spend the night at her house one night.

Not only did you get to hang out with your two cousins, but you were specifically excited about getting to sleep on the floor. You saw it as a “slumber party”.

And because a storm was coming through the Friday night that Mommy and I were planning to pick you up, we weren’t able to arrive from Tennessee until the next morning.

So for your final extra night, you chose to stay with your cousins again and sleep on the floor.

I think it’s great that you’re getting to the age where you think it’s fun to spend the night with your aunt and uncle and cousins.

It’s good for your growing sense of independence. I think to some degree, it actually challenges you, as you have to adjust to a slightly different family culture; as each individual family has their own, though the differences may not be noticeable from the outside looking in.

After all, I wasn’t there with my many rules. Hopefully you didn’t keep everyone in the house up too late.

So you were proud to sleep on the floor, among pink kittens and unicorns.

Now I am wondering at what point your sister will be old enough to join in on the “Cousins’ Slumber Party”. I’m sure that would be a lot of fun! As long as I’m not there, with all my many Daddy rules, of course!

Because if I were in charge, it would be, “Okay, light’s out at 8:00. Don’t get up for anything. Just go straight to sleep!”

It’s obvious I’m reflecting my constant need for sleep onto you.

Love,

Daddy

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Dear Holly: Being the Youngest of the Cousins, You Just Have to Go Along With Whatever’s Going On!

2 years, 1 month.

Dear Holly,

After your brother spent his first week of summer vacation in Alabama with Nonna and Papa, you rode back with Mommy and me to go pick your brother up, as we spent Memorial Day weekend there.

Once reunited with your brother and your two cousins on my side of the family, the four of you quickly formulated into your own version of The Little Rascals.

It’s funny because often when this happens, as long as there’s another adult somewhere near you, I’m okay with just learning in hindsight the ways you had fun.

So when I saw this picture of your steering Papa’s homemade racecar, while your brother and older cousins rode along, I simply thought to myself, “Yep, that sounds about right!”

Out of the four of you, your brother is the oldest and the only boy, and therefore, the boss. And you are the youngest, and therefore, the littlest rascal.

As you all grow up, these dynamics will remain the same. It’s quite similar to the way that a child’s birth order among their siblings typically helps have a major role in shaping their own personality.

But to reinforce this concept further for both you and your brother, your “birth order” among the cousins remains the same; whether as my own children or among your cousins.

You will always be the baby. Your brother will always be the oldest.

I can already see how you have a sense of fearlessness because of your role: You’ve already been able to see three other kids who are older than you test some limits out first.

From there, you get to build on top of their experiences.

So while you are the baby, you are also brave.

Even just the way you are able to scarf down salt and vinegar potato chips without flinching is probably proof of this.

Love,

Daddy