parenting

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Dear Jack: You Have Your 1st Speaking Part in a Play, Because You Volunteered for It

8 years, 3 months.

Dear Jack,

I’ve been telling you all week how proud I am of you for volunteering to have a speaking part in your upcoming play at school. Two students from every class in 2nd grade will have a speaking part in the play.

This is your line:

“Our first song is ‘Top of the Music to You’; in this song, we live about the orchestra, which consists of four instrument families: woodwinds, brass, strings, and percussion.”

As your parent, I never know how seriously you let my life advice soak in. But for the past couple of months now, I have been telling you what an advantage it is to be the boy in your class who jumps at the chance to participate in a play. It builds confidence and provides opportunities in life; so I have learned. (This is coming from a dad who has been on national TV, of course.)

I explained that typically in elementary school, boys are afraid to get up in front of people and have a speaking part.

But not you. You volunteered and you got the part!

Love,

Daddy

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Our 24 Hour Parent Staycation in Franklin, Tennessee at the Hilton Franklin Cool Springs Hotel

Two months ago for Christmas 2018, the only gift my wife and I gave one another was the promise of an upcoming 24 hour window of existence that we would share together, in which we would have zero parenting responsibilities; including uninterrupted meals out, a stay at a nice hotel, and the ability to be lazy.

We both work full-time jobs, plus I manage 5 SEO side hustles, and we have two adventurous kids. So for us, the thought of a break from reality is the greatest gift we can receive at this point in our 37 year-old lives.

Last May when I started my new full-time job as a recruiter at a Fortune 500 Company in Franklin, Tennessee, I couldn’t help but notice that an 8 story building was being built right next to my office.

A few months later, a giant Hilton sign went up on the side of the building facing the interstate (I-65). Once the hotel opened last fall, my co-workers and I started going there for lunch, and were very pleased.

So by the time my wife and I came up with the idea of the perfect mutual Christmas gift for each other, I suggested we make our stay at the Hilton Franklin Cool Springs hotel right next to where I work; which is the halfway point between where we live in Spring Hill and where my wife works in downtown Nashville.

Sometimes in your mind, you build up an idea to the point it becomes an unattainable fantasy. But no, that was not the case for our 24 Hour Parent Staycation. In fact, everything went perfectly according to plan:

My parents drove up 2 and a half hours from my hometown in Fort Payne, Alabama, to watch the kids while we were out. As my son’s Saturday morning karate lessons began, to be followed by one of his classmate’s birthday parties our daughter would end up successfully crashing, my wife and I made our way over to H&R Block to file our income taxes and were so relieved we didn’t owe any money; despite my 5 SEO side hustles unexpectedly doing much better than I planned for last year.

We officially started out our responsibility-free adventure with lunch at Sopapilla’s New Mexican (like the state) restaurant en route to the Hilton. This was a big deal to us for more than one reason.

Not only was it the first time in… (years?)… that we have been able to enjoy a delicious meal out with no children putting a damper on the conversation or the cuisine or our peace of mind, but it was our first official meal out as a now non-vegetarian, non-vegan couple.

I would go as far as to say I am now obsessed with eating at Sopapilla’s, but I don’t know the next time we’ll be able to make it back there without kids.

As for the Hilton, it was every bit as glorious as I knew it would be. My wife and I realized this is the newest hotel we have ever stayed in; throughout our decade of marriage.

And our wish came true- we got to be lazy for our entire day. In fact, we never left the hotel until the next day when we checked out. We got to watch a few movies on TV, in between heading downstairs for dinner in the hotel restaurant, The Harth Restaurant and Lounge.

Not to mention, we got to sleep in! We naturally woke up, on our own, at 8:00 AM. That is unthinkable back at our house, thanks to our children’s internal biological alarm clocks, which are annoyingly set an a default of 5:55 AM.

Life is good. I admit, I’m enjoying the view from where I’m sitting on Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs Pyramid. Our 24 Hour Parent Staycation taught me that the motivational carrot in my life at this point will be getting to experience our next 24 Hour Parent Staycation. That is the rarest commodity I know right now: a break.

And when that time comes, my wife and I plan to do everything exactly the same way again. It’s a formula that works for us.

This is 37.

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Dear Holly: You Like to Make and Eat “Panic Cakes”

2 years, 9 months.

Dear Holly,

Ever since you got your Peppa the Pig kitchen play set for Christmas, you have been somewhat obsessed with the concept of making pancakes, or as you pronounce it… panic cakes.

Picking up on this, Mommy decided to make some buckwheat pancakes a few Saturday mornings ago, and it turns out, you love to eat pancakes- not just pretend to make them.

It’s now to the point where Mommy has to make enough on the weekend so that you have enough to eat leftovers throughout the rest of the week; each morning before school.

In fact, you love them so much, that you sort of have a little panic attack if you don’t get your panic cakes!

So maybe “panic cakes” isn’t that far off of a pronunciation…

Love,

Daddy

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Dear Jack: Your New “Household Chores for Cash” Program

8 years, 3 months.

Dear Jack,

Every night after dinner now, you and I now tag-team drying the dishes. Specifically, you handle drying and putting away the countless number of plastic water bottles, cups, and containers it apparently takes for our family to function on a daily basis.

Plus, every Wednesday and Sunday, you are now responsible for collecting the garbage from the five smaller wastebaskets throughout our house, so that I can combine them with the tall kitchen garbage, then take them outside to the main garbage bin.

I must say, this system has been working very well over the past few weeks in has been in effect.

For a few dollars a week, I am impressed by the way you get the work done amazingly without complaining.

Sure, the money helps- but I also recognize you’re definitely old enough now to secretly crave some sense of responsibility.

Love,

Daddy

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Questions to Ask to Find the Perfect Private Tutor for Your Child 

Private tutoring is one of the best ways of accelerating learning – however, it’s crucial that you find the right person for the task. Here are some of the questions you should consider asking viable private tutors before hiring anyone and cover issues like qualifications, teaching methods, progress tracking, and how they can help your child/children prepare for the future.

What qualifications does the professional have? 

When you begin your search to find a tutor take the time to find out more about the tutor’s education – what university and school they went to, what did they study – as well as finding out if they’ve attained QTS or Qualified Teacher Status. Keep in mind that “experts” do not always make for the best tutors; while core knowledge is crucial, it can be just as important to know if they took the same exams/tests your child will be sitting.

Do they have any tutoring experience? 

It is vital to remember that for specific subjects like UCAS applications or degree-level assistance, tutors who’ve recently been through the process and were successful can be very helpful, even if they have minimal tutoring experience.

Can the tutor provide testimonials from his or her past clients?

Hearing what other parents and students have to say about the tutor you are considering is one of the best ways of finding out what they are like. Think of it as booking a table at a new restaurant online – it can be useful to go through some reviews first.

Which examination board is the tutor familiar with?

Ask the tutor about the exam board(s) they use to ensure that both your child and tutor are aligned. Each board’s syllabus is available online, and often practice or past exam papers are available for download, free of charge.

Tutors with experience as examiners can also be quite valuable, and that is something that most tutors don’t publicize. It is, therefore, worth asking this question.

Does the teacher have any specialty?

Some tutors specialize in exam practice, while others are great at making learning fun or building confidence in students. There are others who’ve has success with students taking specific exams and tests; such tutors should be able to tell your child what to expect and to help them prepare for the test. Remember to ask the tutor about their approach on specific issues and areas.

Is their documentation up-to-date?

For some people, this is a critical factor while for others, testimonials are sufficient evidence that a tutor is competent. Experienced tutors, basically anyone who’s a teacher, should have all the required documentation at hand. Ask the tutor to carry one or two academic certificates and their DBS (the new name for the Criminal Record Check) along to the first lesson.

Where will tutoring sessions take place?

Traveling to a tutor’s home works well for some students. Then, there are those who are comfortable talking or working with their tutor online – this is one of the best ways to keep sessions useful and relaxed.

How does the tutor make lessons engaging? 

It can be helpful to find out how the tutor structures their lessons; does he or she engage through mutual interests or use fun learning materials? Great tutors will quickly pick up the best approach to engaging your child and tend to ask for your advice on the approach.

How long are the lessons? 

Can your child concentrate fully for one whole hour? This is one of the questions you should ask yourself when deciding on lesson length. The decision on whether to take half-hour sessions or not will depend on your child’s age and what you and the tutor you hire think is sensible. It is a good idea to ask your tutor how long they’d recommend. Either way, a break is important, so do not forget to incorporate several breaks in there too.

If possible, what’s their attitude to liaising with your child’s school teacher?

A tutor liaising with a school teacher isn’t common; however, it can be beneficial for both the tutor and teacher to do so to help ensure that teaching goals and methods are aligned. Keep in mind, however, that this is not necessary, and tutors who don’t liaise with your child’s school aren’t worse than those who do.

Who arranges all the required books and paper, worksheets, and resources for lessons? 

This is one important thing to remember to ask. In most cases, parents are the ones who provide these materials so make sure you consider this when thinking about costs. Nevertheless, some tutors do provide their own print-outs or resources.

How does the tutor track your child’s progress? Does he or she set homework?

Most tutors opt not to add more workload to their students. Though, small amounts of work or past papers for revision during the exam period is beneficial. Make sure that the tutor you get understands your child’s homework schedule so that he or she doesn’t become overwhelmed with all the extra work.

How does he or she conduct assessments?

The assessment methods tutors use will vary since different methods work for different people. As such, remember to follow up on the tutor’s approach.

What feedback can you expect from your tutor and when?

Some tutors prefer communicating through written reports, others by scheduling time for a face to face meeting once a term or month while others prefer giving feedback at the end of lessons. Consider what works best for you.

Can you, as a parent, contact the tutor in between lessons?

Most tutors don’t mind being in touch between lessons; however, there are some who have other jobs apart from tutoring and might not be in a position to be contacted or to reply within certain hours.

How can parents assist with the child’s progress when their tutor is not available?

Some parents will have tutors help with all of the child’s homework while for others 10-hours of one-to-one tuition is a huge investment. It is crucial to remember that you could benefit from the tutoring experience without spending much. Simply ask your tutor for advice on skill or strategies you can work on with your son or daughter when tutoring ends?

How long are their tutoring relationships?

It is a good idea to think about whether you would like the tutoring to be long-term, or if you simply want a few lessons before an interview or exam – and remember to communicate this to the tutor so he or she can plan accordingly.

What is their view of independent learning?

Understanding their view on this is a good step towards making sure that your child and the tutor work well together and make progress. The best tutors often aim to get their students to that point where they no longer require them!