July 19, 2011 at 9:51 pm , by Nick Shell

Eight months.

A year ago, when my wife was pregnant with our son, co-workers would ask me about what was going through my head about becoming a dad.  I would always respond by telling them I was aware of how my life was going to change, but that ultimately, I was excited about it all.

And what typically was their response?

“Well, you just wait until he’s crying in the middle of the night and you’re not getting any sleep… You just wait until he turns two years old and he’s pitching a fit… You just wait until he’s a teenager and he acts like he hates you…”

Needless to say, I’ve heard this unsolicited “well,you just wait until he gets older” gloom and doom more than I care to.  Well, here I am, a year later, and I’m still the same positive guy living with my realistic expectations; which certain people view as a fantasy.

The phrase “well, you just wait” is just another version of “I told you,” translating into “I can’t say ‘I told you so’ yet because enough time hasn’t gone by, so you’ll just have to wait so that you can see that I am right and you are naïve.”

I would bet that in the history of the world there has never been a time when a person has truly appreciated hearing “I told you so” or any form of it.  So “well, you just wait” doesn’t translate any differently to me.

Admittedly, it can be tricky trying to figure out what to do when it comes to parenting because it’s so easy to become overwhelmed by not only so many techniques out there, but also so many people confidently telling you that what worked for them and their child is the best (and only) way to do it.

Often, a lot of the parenting advice I hear just gets lost in the noise.  Granted, this blog is technically designed to give fellow parents advice, as I often do.  So am I just adding to the noise pollution, as I regularly share my noticeably conservative and undeniably positive outlook on fatherhood?

Maybe.  But whether or not you ever adopt my views on any particular aspect of parenting, and whether or not you find any of them to be effective, my intention is to speak with authority while not coming across as a know-it-all.  Will I be able to successfully pull off that delicate balance?

Well, you just wait…

Seven months.

What interesting “toys” does your baby get to play with?

By now it’s nearly cliché to point out the irony in a kid getting more enjoyment out of the cardboard box that a toy is packaged in rather than the actual toy itself. So I won’t. But similarly, I will point out a few other seemingly mundane household items that currently serve as Jack’s greatest form of entertainment.

His biggest fascination is with air vents; whether or not air is actually coming out of them.  I suppose that to him, he gets a thrill out of the anxiety of wondering at which exact moment the cold air will suddenly begin blowing on his face and through his hair.  Jack hovers over and around the air vent like it’s some magical wishing well, about to grant him his wish of an instant set of teeth in which he could use to eat veggie pizza with his parents.  Or at least a masculine unicorn to ride on.

But for the times that Jack prefers a more hands-on experience, there is the amazing wooden spoon!  Thanks to my wife’s creative thinking, Jack now has a wondrous multipurpose toy that can be used for the following:

1) Jack can use to the handle to repeatedly ram his leg, while joyously smiling.

2) Jack can use the head of the spoon to repeatedly hit himself in the forehead, again, while joyously smiling.

3) Jack can pretend the wooden spoon is a Popsicle, tasting its delicious wooden flavor.

4) Jack can practice his self-invented stunt of attempting to crawl while carrying the spoon in one hand.

5) Jack can wave the wooden spoon around in the air like he’s conducting a choir of enchanted kittens.

Should Jack ever tire of the wooden spoon, there is always the back-up plan.  Yes, the paper towel roll.  While Jack can basically use it in the same ways he uses the spoon, he can additionally become mesmerized by watching me put the paper towel roll to my mouth to make weird falsetto humming noises through it; like a giant kazoo.  It works similar to the way Indian men charm snakes.

I am a certified baby charmer.

And fortunately, Jack is like a cat in that he can entertain himself with nearly any random household object.  The question is, who is more entertained by the magical wooden spoon and its other glorious counterparts?  My infant son for finding entertainment value in it,  or me for finding entertainment value in watching him find entertainment value in it?

P.S. As I post this, my sister is in labor with her first child.  Jack’s about to get a new cousin!  And I’m about to be an uncle for the first time, through blood.