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1 Comment Posted on September 20, 2014 funny, Nostalgia, parenting, Storytelling, Uncategorized

Shopping For Birthday And Christmas Presents: Done And Done

3 years, 10 months.

Dear Jack,

Your birthday (November 16th) and Christmas are just a little more than a month apart. So all year, Mommy and I have been preparing by secretly scouting out the clearance section at Target, as well as and Amazon.com for ridiculously good deals.

Over all, we only paid a fraction of the cost of what your birthday and Christmas gifts should have amounted to.

For the past several months, these mysterious brown boxes have been waiting for us on our doorstep when we get home…

This week, Mommy and I finally laid all your upcoming gifts out on the floor to evaluate the situation, officially verifying that we are now finished with buying both your birthday and Christmas gifts.

I am so excited about you opening these! I can’t wait to be able to sit down with you and play.

Let’s talk about that anteater…

As I recently mentioned, you have a peculiar fascination with anteaters; as seen in your picture of the anteater who ate a monster. (I love how the monster who was eaten by the anteater is just as happy as the anteater who ate the monster!)

You have been asking for an anteater stuffed animal for quite a while now. So Mommy special ordered one of the Internet. It looks so bizarre!

But I’m confident to believe you will love it. Mommy and I wondered if your anteater will end up in the same privileged category as Ellie the Elephant and Pandy the Panda Bear, who get to ride in the car with you and wear your underwear to school.

We also wonder what you will name him/her. My guess is “Anty.” I guess we’ll see in about two months for your 4^th birthday.

Anty very well could be wearing your underwear to school.

Love,

Daddy

1 Comment Posted on September 19, 2014 Uncategorized

These Are The Days Of Stuffed Animals Wearing Underwear (And Funny Drawings Of Anteaters!)

3 years, 10 months.

Dear Jack,

I just want to bookmark which stage of childhood you are in right now. These are the days of you dressing your stuffed animals in your own “big boy underwear.”

It would be one thing if these specially dressed animals stayed indoors where only Mommy and I knew about them.

But… nope.

Each morning you choose an underwear-wearing stuffed animal to ride in the car with you on the ride to school. Then the privileged creature gets to be placed in your cubby all day while you learn.

At the end of each school day, with much pride, you remove your animal from the cubby for the ride home.

Let me just say it again:

Your animals are wearing your own underwear. And you are the one who picks out which pair of your underwear they wear, then you put the underwear on them.

That’s hilarious!

But part of what makes this so funny is that you don’t appear to be trying to be funny or ironic, in the least bit.

It’s as if you are treating Ellie (your much worn-out purple elephant) and Pandy (your panda bear, who like Ellie, is also a $5 Kohl’s purchase from the check-out counter) as peers who are legitimately encountering the transition to “big boy underwear” as you are.

I don’t know how many other 4 year-old boys in America are doing the same thing right now, but I know that I did the same thing was I was about your age.

Something else you’re doing these days that I feel is definitely defining you is your funny and creative drawings you do at school each day.

I think I might need to start up a special folder to start saving them in the Facebook page for Family Friendly Daddy Blog in a photo album simply called “Jack’s Art.”

As for now, I’ll leave you with my current personal favorite; this picture you drew of “an anteater that ate a monster.”

Love,

Daddy

Leave a comment Posted on September 15, 2014 funny, Storytelling, Uncategorized

Dear Jack: Drinking Water Balloons/Practicing For Halloween

3 years, 9 months.

Dear Jack,

This Saturday (as well as Sunday) morning I woke up to you and Mommy laughing and playing on the couch.

You had created a pick-up truck out of couch cushions and were taking your friends to the hospital. (Mommy was the doctor.)

One of your friends was a small white bear you named “Baby Diaper”. You explained to Mommy:

“Can you help my Sweetie? A monster bit her!”

I also enjoyed seeing how you helped Mommy with Donatello’s visit to the doctor: “He has a tummy ache. I think he needs water. I’ll get him a water balloon.”

Then you then ran over to the corner of our living room where you’ve been stashing the helium balloons you got from a couple of weeks ago when we paid the earnest money for our new house.

You then proceeded to “pour” water from the “water balloon” into Donatello’s mouth.

Classic! I love that creativity.

You’re also proactive: You decided to go ahead and try on your Halloween costume.

Recently at Kroger you found a $4 Batman mask and wanted Mommy and me to buy it for you. We agreed, based on you being Batman for Halloween.

Then last week Mommy found some $7 Batman pajamas from Wal-Mart…

Therefore, I would like to say, thank you for choosing the cheapest Halloween costume so far! Just eleven bucks, total.

That is so practical and frugal. I am proud.

You practiced your Batman faces for us; both “happy Batman” and “serious Batman.”

It’s good that you’re really spending some time already getting in to your Batman character. I think that might count as “method acting.”

This is what goes on in our house. I’m assuming that in every other house with a 3 year-old little boy in it, there are different yet related stories that occur.

As far as our house goes, it’s about drinking from water balloons and practicing for Halloween. For this week, at least.

Leave a comment Posted on September 13, 2014 funny, parenting, Storytelling, Uncategorized

Dear Jack: Your Friend Lucy Says I’m A Nice Daddy

3 years, 9 months.

Dear Jack,

Last Thursday as I was picking you up from KinderCare and walking you to our car, your friend Lucy saw us walking by and proclaimed to her own Daddy, “That’s Jack’s Daddy. He’s a nice Daddy!”

I had really never considered my reputation among the 3 year-olds of your school.

Maybe I really am a “nice Daddy.”

Hey, I’ll take a compliment anytime I can; even from a 3 year-old.

When I walk in each day to pick you up from school, your friends always begin talking to me; like they’re supposed to or something. It’s been that way for months, actually…

Your friend Avery always tells me, “My Mommy picks me up today.”

Jaedyn always describes what she’s drawing and shows it to me.

Ethan immediately hugs my leg, like I’m his actually Daddy.

And when I see you, you always run to me and I lift you up to the air like you’re a rocket.

So looking back, I guess you and I do make a scene each day when I pick you up.

Ultimately, I guess that makes me a “nice Daddy.”

(Coincidently, I happened to meet Lucy’s Mommy, Autumn, this week for the first time; I took some pictures of you and Lucy playing together.)

I can honestly say I’ve never considered my reputation as a “nice Daddy” among your peers. I guess I’ve just always subconsciously assumed that their dads act the same way when they pick them up each day.

And that’s still what I assume. I assume all your friends’ fathers treat them the same way as I treat you.

How could they not?

Being a good father (and husband) are the roles in life I take the most seriously.

My understanding is that fatherhood is the one of the main forms of identity and self-realization for the modern American man.

Doesn’t every man think the same way as I do? The dads I know all do, at least.

My guy friends are all “nice Daddies.”

In fact, I bet a lot of them are actually nicer than I am.

Leave a comment Posted on September 2, 2014 funny, parenting, Storytelling, Uncategorized

Dear Jack: Reading Bedtime Stories With A Scream Mask On

3 years, 9 months.

Dear Jack,

This past weekend for Labor Day, we took a road trip in the 2015 Buick LaCrosse through Chattanooga and then to your Nonna and Papa’s house. More on that later…

With all the driving around we did, Mommy and I needed to make sure you got a good nap on Sunday.

As we made our way upstairs to what used to be your Aunt Dana’s bedroom, you saw a Scream mask and a hockey mask I had from high school, lying in the floor of my bedroom which hasn’t been cleaned since… circa 1999.

You asked me to read you a bedtime story, while wearing the Scream mask, before you went down for your nap.

So I did…

For your story, I chose a book from my own childhood: Sesame Street’s Ernie Gets Lost.

I had to make sure my voice matched the character of the mask, so I did my best impression of the voice modulator used in the Scream movies.

You decided you wanted me to use a “quieter” voice instead, so I changed it to a good ole fashioned falsetto female voice, which was much more pleasant sounding- technically.

Keep in mind, this was all your idea. Good thing Mommy and I had the camera handy!

After nap time, the scary masks ended up downstairs and they were passed around for more entertainment. Your cousin Calla appreciated the masks as well, for some reason.

So yeah, it was pretty much the typical American Labor Day holiday… Scream mask and hockey mask included.

I have a feeling that when we drive back there in a month for your Uncle Andrew’s 30^th birthday, you’re going to want me to wear the mask and read a bedtime story again.

This may have been the beginning of a new tradition! What should have been terrifying was simply entertaining, apparently serving as the best way to transition you to peaceful sleep.

[Cue Metallica’s “Enter Sandman.”]

Love,

Daddy

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