fatherhood

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Dear Holly: You are Officially Learning to Crawl

7 months.

Dear Holly: You are Officially Learning to Crawl

Dear Holly,

I have to remind myself that babies don’t just start crawling all at once. Instead, there is a subtle process leading up to it. And I’d have to say, you’re clearly in it right now.

It was like the moment you were able to start sitting up on your own was the moment you realized that you had the necessary basic skills to start teaching yourself to crawl.

The hardwood floor in the kitchen works pretty well for you, as compared to the carpet in the living room.

Mommy and I were seeing you go through the motions of crawling… without actually moving. You wanted it so bad. After our past couple of visits to Alabama when you saw your Cousin Darla crawling, you’ve set a goal to be able to join her.

Dear Holly: You are Officially Learning to Crawl

And you’re now showing some actual movement.

Over the weekend, Mommy motivated you by placing her phone a few feet away from you. Then I did the same thing with an empty bag of Bear Naked Granola Bites. You love squeezing empty, noisy bags. It is quite the authentic motivation for you.

I realize that you’ll be keeping me that much more on my toes once you’re able to crawl around, but I really won’t mind. This past week, I’ve really appreciated the fact I’ve been able to help Mommy prepare and clean up dinner.

Up until now, it’s been necessary for me to sit on the floor with you. Now that you can sit up, you enjoy having “activity time” on the floor.

I’m not rushing you growing up, but I definitely celebrate you accomplishing new things.

It’s like you are able to reason that the next big thing in life for you is being able to crawl. It’s like I can tell you want to do this not only for yourself, but also Mommy and me.

Love,

Daddy

Dear Holly: You are Officially Learning to Crawl

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Dear Jack: I Experience Guilt for Not Being Able to Spend as Much Time with You Right Now

6 years.

Dear Jack: I Experience Guilt for Not Being Able to Spend as Much Time with You Right Now

Dear Jack,

Once we got back from our Thanksgiving trip to Nonna and Papa’s in Alabama, as we were walking through the front door of our house, I put my arm around your shoulder and said, “You did so good on the trip. I am really proud of you.”

As I was saying those words, it’s like it hit me all at once: You were so independent. You didn’t really need me for much the whole time. I didn’t have to worry about you.

Though I was in the same house as you, and often the same room, you and I were interacting with other family members instead of each other; compared to the norm.

So you and I didn’t really have much quality time together, though we did with other members of the family who we don’t see as often.

We did the right thing. After all, the holidays is for catching up with people you don’t see as often.

Yet, I suppose I still somehow experienced some guilt over it. Because as we settled back in after Thanksgiving, I realized how much of my time is required by your sister Holly.

For me to be a good husband and good parent, I have to be holding a baby most of the time we are all together at the house. While I am proud to take care of your sister, I recognize that the days of you and I just being able to hang out anytime are sort of on hold for right now.

Before your sister was born, we could just easily run upstairs and watch a stupid movie together or go outside for a hike.

But these days, my mobility is greatly restricted by me taking care of your sister while Mommy concentrates on the majority of the housework; like cooking and laundry.

I miss our time together. Things will eventually get back closer to how they were before. But honestly, I think it will be another 5 months or so, when your sister turns a year old.

You’re such a good kid. I don’t want to miss out on truly living every minute I can with you.

Love,

Daddy

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Frankincense Actually Helps My 7 Month-Old Daughter Sleep through the Night (No, I Don’t Sell Essential Oils- Sincere 3rd Party Testimonial)

Frankincense Actually Helps My 7 Month-Old Daughter Sleep through the Night (No, I Don’t Sell Essential Oils- Sincere 3rd Party Testimonial)

I want to be clear about two things right off the bat:

First, I do not sell essential oils nor do I make any supplemental income from endorsing them; nor am I involved in any kind of platform network to promote essential oils. Similarly, I am not affiliated with any brand, distributor, or salesperson.

In other words, I truly am a 3rd party. I’m a regular guy with zero interest in selling essential oils.

The 2nd thing I want to be clear on is that a month and a half ago, I patiently/strategically/successfully trained my infant daughter to sleep through the night. Therefore, I am not saying that Frankincense is the reason my daughter sleeps through the night- instead, I’m claiming that Frankincense helps her sleep more solidly through the night, as opposed to not using Frankincense at all.

So for the past month and a half my wife, my daughter, and I have been getting much better sleep. Life has been much more enjoyable since then.

For well over a month now, there has been no need to feed our daughter after 9 PM nor to feed her before 5:30 AM; nor to change her diaper. She sleeps through the night, thanks to my deliberate sleep training strategy that I also used our son who is now 6 years old.

However, there have been many nights in which I have had to run upstairs to place our daughter’s pacifier in her mouth, after hearing her start crying during the night. Once I placed the pacifier back in, she’s typically been fine for the next several hours.

Fortunately, my wife figured out along the way that Frankincense essential oil has had a lot to do with the nights that our daughter never cries once through the night; meaning that literally I don’t have to wake up again after I fall asleep either.

To be clear, the nights my wife didn’t use Frankincense essential oil in the diffuser in our daughter’s room, our baby girl was more likely to wake up during the night and need me to slip the pacifier back in.

But when Frankincense was used in the diffuser, she was more likely to not wake up at all again until morning time.

(By the way, I never even bought the essential oil or the diffuser- my mom gave them to us.)

This is my real life. I am a real person. This is my human experience. I have no need (or monetary reason) to prove Frankincense helps my 7 month-old daughter sleep better. I simply am writing about this to help other parents out there.

I just know it works.

Now, ready to buy some essential oils from me? Just kidding.

I do not sell essential oils. Remember?

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Dear Holly: It Felt Wrong Being away from You for 3 Days

7 months.

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Dear Holly,

I went from Thursday morning until Sunday morning without you seeing you or your brother, as I was out in Los Angeles on what I would call a “side-business trip”. While I did have plenty of time to rest and relax while I was there, I was also constantly distracted by the fact that my sweet little baby girl was on the other side of the country.

Undoubtedly, I experienced a level of guilt because I knew that Mommy was left back in Tennessee to take care of you and your brother without my help. It’s not that Mommy couldn’t handle it, but the way our family dynamics work, she and I are both constantly either working our “real” jobs- or we are home, working our other job as we co-parent.

Usually I assign myself to you, while Mommy devotes her time between your mostly-independent brother and housework. So without me there, Mommy had a lot more work to do than usual.

So in addition to me truly missing my kids, I also knew I was leaving Mommy with a bigger burden; not that she ever complained or had a problem with it. Instead, she was nothing but supportive of my trip.

But as an involved modern dad, I am overly aware of my roles for our family. Therefore, I go to bed early and exhausted most nights. I don’t know any other way. And I just assume that’s how it is for all the other parents out there too.

I’m not special in that regard. I’m just like most other parents.

That’s why it felt wrong to be away. Because it goes against my wiring and against the culture of our family.

But then again, one of my roles is to help financially provide for my family while not forsaken my family in that pursuit. It’s a paradox, for sure.

All this is lost on you right now though. All you know is, you smile when Daddy walks through the door each day.

Love,

Daddy

2 Comments Posted on fatherhood, parenting, People, Storytelling, Uncategorized

Dear Jack: A Dad’s Letter to His Son on His 6th Birthday

6 years old today!

Dear Jack: A Letter from a Dad to His Son on His 6th Birthday

Dear Jack,

Today you turn 6 years-old. You’ve never been more independent than you are today.

To me, as your Daddy, that’s what makes this birthday special. That’s what makes you so grown-up now.

This is your first birthday as a kid who is not in day care or preschool.

This is your first birthday as a boy who is able to sound out and read words.

This is your first birthday as a big brother.

I love seeing you develop your own style and identity. You chose on your own that you wanted a Mohawk last week. It goes well with your green army jacket. This is you becoming you.

It is an honor for me to raise you into the next stage of boyhood.

I won’t deny that as your Daddy, I am attempting to raise you in a way that gives you things I didn’t have when I was your age. I don’t mean material items.

In particular, I’m referring to self-confidence.

Dear Jack: A Letter from a Dad to His Son on His 6th Birthday

As a kid, I was shy and unsure of myself. I didn’t realize it at the time, but I was. I didn’t start truly gaining confidence and formulating my own identity until was about twice your age, when I was in junior high.

But I can already see, at age 6, you already have it.

And that’s something I’ll continue to nurture in you. Our quality time together is often based on me pushing you to try new adventurous things.

Though I’m very happy about how my life turned out, I still want even better for you. Undeniably, you are smarter than I was. It’s easy for me to imagine all amazing ways you’ll be able to apply that intelligence along with your confidence.

I know that with you, I have something special. I am raising an exceptional boy. I love you more than you can know.

Love,

Daddy

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