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Dear Jack: Sometimes I Can Even Be Your Nurturer

4 years.

Dear Jack,

Dear Jack: Sometimes I Can Even Be Your Nurturer

Today during lunchtime, the parents were invited up for a special sort of pre-Thanksgiving at your school.

It’s interesting to see how your personality transforms when I show up to school to visit, as opposed to dropping you off or picking you off.

You got sort of giggly, yet quiet; like you were confused on how to act in front of both your teachers and me. You knew how to interact with your friends, but my presence was definitely throwing you off.

How do you balance your interaction with more than one role of authority between two different environments? I can imagine that sense of displacement.

After a few minutes once you had finished your lunch, you discovered what made you feel comfortable- sitting in my lap while I squeezed you tightly.

You didn’t want to talk or play; just let me hold you as we watched your friends interact with their parents.

Eventually, we started taking goofy pictures of ourselves. That really made you feel more like yourself.

father and son selfies

After about 30 minutes or so before it was time for your nap and time for me to leave.

It’s funny because I’m the one to say the final good-night to you at home and it’s a pretty quick process.

But today at school, you kept asking me to hug you and kiss you again and again as I was leaving. That’s not typical of you.

I got to see this really, really sweet side of you that apparently is reserved for Mommy, I suppose.

Granted, you’re a sweet boy anyway. It’s just that usually I’m the one to play rough with you and I’m by default the main disciplinarian figure in your life.

Tonight as Mommy and I were putting you to bed, you told Mommy, “Today when Daddy left, I was sad… because Daddy had to go.”

Somewhat ironically, it makes me feel good that you were sad when I had to leave.

It’s confirmation that you know you can see me as a nurturer anytime you really need to. But as for most of the time, I am your fearless leader.

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Dear Jack: Our Blue House Is Being Painted/Our Last Week In Our Townhome

4 years.

Dear Jack: Our Blue House Is Being Painted/Our Last Week In Our Townhome

Dear Jack,

This past weekend, immediately following your 4th birthday party on Saturday, we led my side of the family in a caravan (your Nonna and Papa, along with Aunt Dana, Uncle Andrew, and cousin Calla) to see the progress on our new house we’re building.

As we drove near our cul-de-sac, Mommy yelled with excitement, “It’s blue!”

We had learned last week that the siding is actually made out of wood, and that it would be painted eventually. Well, the painting has definitely began.

2014 Scion FR-S back seat

Mommy was also very happy to see that our marble countertops are in; as well as the kitchen’s bar.

I was particularly happy to see that our garage doors are now in, along with automatic garage door openers; considering as long as Mommy and I have been married and lived in our townhome (over 6 years), we’ve never had a garage for our cars.

Dear Jack: Our Blue House Is Being Painted/Our Last Week In Our Townhome

Each time we visit our new house, I become even more satisfied with our decision to buy it, and therefore, to move out of our townhome.

Which, speaking of…

2014 Scion FR-S back seat

This apparently is our last week to live in our townhome! Mommy and I bought it brand-new in 2008, when we got married, but now it’s time to move out and move on.

Last night as I was saying goodnight to you, at your sleeping bag on top of a foam mat, I explained to you, “Jack, this is our last week to sleep and live in this house, because we’re going to be moving into the new one in January, in a couple months.”

2014 Scion FR-S back seat

At this point, other than mats to sleep on, in addition to enough food and clothing to by this week, our house is empty.

Papa helped Mommy and I move the rest of it to the storage facility over the weekend. Mommy had to secretly pack up two of your favorite stuffed animals in a box: Puppa the puppy and Cheaty the cheetah.

I had the opportunity to see if I could fit in the backseat of the 2014 Scion FR-S that I was reviewing for your birthday week. (I could.)

2014 Scion FR-S back seat

This coming weekend we’ll move our few remaining items in our personal vehicles to our friends’ house where we will be staying until January when our new house is ready.

Exciting times…

Love,

Daddy

2014 Scion FR-S back seat

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Dear Jack: We Moved Most Of Our Stuff Into 10 x 10 Storage Unit This Past Weekend

3 years, 11 months.

Dear Jack,

Dear Jack: We Moved Most Of Our Stuff Into 10 x 10 Storage Unit This Weekend

As I just mentioned in my previous letter, The Cabinets Are Now Installed In Our House, Nonna and Papa drove up this weekend to help us with our move into a nearby storage facility.

Dear Jack: We Moved Most Of Our Stuff Into 10 x 10 Storage Unit This Weekend

For the past several months, each Sunday after church as we’ve dropped off the recycling, we’ve also been dropping off bags of clothes and home goods to Goodwill.

And for the past several weeks, Mommy has been selling many of our home furnishings online. People bought our TV and stand, our coffee table, and this past weekend, our couch.

Dear Jack: We Moved Most Of Our Stuff Into 10 x 10 Storage Unit This Weekend

We figured with most of our home furnishings being around 7 years old, and for the fact we’ve already been stashing cash away for our new home’s furnishings, that we’d be better off just selling off some of our larger items instead of fooling around with having to move them.

Dear Jack: We Moved Most Of Our Stuff Into 10 x 10 Storage Unit This Weekend

So in theory, we will be able to buy a new couch, coffee table, TV and stand as we move in to our new house; which is somewhere around January 29th.

Dear Jack: We Moved Most Of Our Stuff Into 10 x 10 Storage Unit This Weekend

As would be expected from a nearly 4 year-old little boy (you’ll turn 4 this Sunday), you were extremely eager to help us with the move! All while wearing your Batman pajamas, of course…

I actually was pretty impressed with how quickly you could run with pillows and boxes and toys that were as big as you. You also were very handy with the broom. “I am brooming this right now,” you explained.

Dear Jack: We Moved Most Of Our Stuff Into 10 x 10 Storage Unit This Weekend

You loved running up and down the ramp on the moving truck. You were legitimately helping us move, Jack!

It was a work-filled weekend for sure, but as for now, most of our stuff is now in a 10 x 10 storage facility; including our box springs for our beds.

Dear Jack: We Moved Most Of Our Stuff Into 10 x 10 Storage Unit This Weekend

I think Mommy and I are pretty convinced we never plan to move out of the new house we’re building.

Meanwhile, you built an 18 wheeler out of Legos. As you explained, the drivers sit on top!

Dear Jack: We Moved Most Of Our Stuff Into 10 x 10 Storage Unit This Weekend

Dear Jack: We Moved Most Of Our Stuff Into 10 x 10 Storage Unit This Weekend

We celebrated the conclusion of the weekend’s hard work with some vegan burgers at Burger Republic; where you were a bit loopy, thanks to the wonderful combination of your beloved tater tots and the privilege of not having to take any naps this weekend while Nonna and Papa were in town!

Dear Jack: We Moved Most Of Our Stuff Into 10 x 10 Storage Unit This Weekend

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Dear Jack: The Cabinets Are Now Installed In Our House

3 years, 11 months.

Dear Jack: The Cabinets Are Now Installed In Our House

Dear Jack,

This weekend was very special. Your Nonna and Papa (my parents) drove up to see our new house we are building in Spring Hill, Tennessee.

On the way to the site, you made sure you had some Annie’s snacks, as well as GoGo Squeez, both of which are contributing to your “No Artificial Anything” 4th birthday party this weekend. (Mommy and I let you sample some from the stashes that were mailed to us.)

Dear Jack: The Cabinets Are Now Installed In Our House

We also were moving most of our stuff into storage this weekend as well, but more on that in the next letter…

As for the new surprises in our house this week, we saw that our cabinets have been installed; both in the kitchen and bathrooms. It’s a pretty big deal to see them. Mommy and I are very pleased with our choice; black with these cool “scoopy” handles.

Dear Jack: The Cabinets Are Now Installed In Our House

It was a decision we made very quickly, along with the carpet, outside color of our house, which type of hardwood floor, etc. So it’s good to know we made a good rash decision a couple months ago.

I stood in front of where the sink and dishwasher will go to get a feel for what it will be like to do the dishes in our new kitchen.

Dear Jack: The Cabinets Are Now Installed In Our House

Mommy and I were also pleasantly surprised with the banister on our staircase. I feel that it is more elaborate than the one featured in the model home.

Another cool surprise was the storage space in the attic. I actually forgot about that!

Dear Jack: The Cabinets Are Now Installed In Our House

We finally figured out what crop is being grown behind our house: soy beans.

Should I thank Monsanto for that? Oh well, it’s a pretty view at least.

Dear Jack: The Cabinets Are Now Installed In Our House

Obviously, the construction is really coming along; we’re actually ahead of schedule. Our closing date is January 29th. However, our agent explained that typically the house is typically move-in ready 45 days after the dry wall is installed.

If that’s the case, in theory our house should definitely be finished before January 29th, since the dry wall was already in a week ago.

Of course, I am keeping my expectations low- to be a realistic optimist. We’ll see what happens on that…

Dear Jack: The Cabinets Are Now Installed In Our House

We finished the morning with lunch at Whole Foods, where you were able to (very easily) talk Nonna and Papa into buying you a new stuffed animal; a penguin who you instantly named “Pingy.”

Dear Jack: The Cabinets Are Now Installed In Our House

To be continued…

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Dear Jack: I’m Feeling Guilty About Rushing Through Our Daily Routines

3 years, 11 months.

I’m Feeling Guilty About Rushing Through Our Routines

Dear Jack,

Last night I had a dream in which I could see myself rushing through our bedtime routine; which is pretty much what happened in real life last night.

In my subconcious, I guess I felt bad about not living in the moment enough.

Sometimes I wish we lived in some village in Thailand where we owned very little material things and had more quality time as a family.

On my conference call with Kirk Cameron yesterday, he referenced this guilt we have as parents in knowing the paradox of balancing a demanding schedule with quality family time.

So while I’m not being hard on myself, it is a real and legitimate issue than I am forced to think about.

Even today on the drive to school, I rushed us out of the house, rushed us down the Interstate, rushed you into school; only to forget your stuffed animal in car.

I left your school with you crying and was still a few minutes late to work anyway.

For my lunch break, I drove back to your school, just in time to deliver your stuffed animal to you for your nap time.

I’m Feeling Guilty About Rushing Through Our Routines

I know this is a normal feeling, but it’s really on my mind right now.

Granted, we’re in the process of selling our townhouse, moving our stuff into storage, and buying/building a new house.

By default, life is chaotic for us right now.

And your Mommy and I are actually planners! We are extremely aware of doing our best to ensure as much quality time together as possible.

We’re so extreme we don’t even have cable TV or smart phones or pets; and yet still, there’s that instinct for me to rush through our routines.

Maybe somehow this will get better once we move into our new house, I don’t know.

I don’t want to get in the habit of camping out in the future when the reality is, you’re growing up right in front of me.

Also on my call with Kirk Cameron yesterday, he spoke about the importance of not depending too much on our children’s teachers or coaches or even church leaders to raise our kids; that ultimately, if a child has parents who love each other and set the example, that influences a child more than anything.

So while life is not as easy I as I wish it could be, we’ll do the best with what we have and hope you turn out alright anyway.

I’m pretty sure you will.

Love,

Daddy

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