Easter

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Rosemary Christmas Tree Shoppin’ With The Easter Bunny

December 9, 2013 at 8:53 pm , by 

3 years.

Dear Jack,

With Christmas being about two weeks away, Mommy and I decided it was time we should get a Christmas tree for our family. So we did what I assume most American families were doing yesterday afternoon- we drove over to Lowe’s to find the cheapest option on the clearance rack.

It wasn’t until we had already got there that I realized you had brought your giant Easter Bunny with you.

Seriously, how did you get that thing past me? I honestly didn’t even notice. And evidently Mommy wasn’t too thrown off by it either because I never heard her bring it up in conversation.

Okay, I think I actually need to meditate on that fact for a minute… Somehow, you got the idea that it would be logical, appropriate, and/or helpful to bring a giant yellow Easter Bunnythat is nearly as big as you are.

And most importantly, I didn’t even notice.

As for me, that could be the end of this story, because that is pretty awesome.

We ended up finding a nice Rosemary tree, 15 inches tall, for $3.75. When the manager noticed that we were interested, he gave us a proposal:

“Would your family like two trees this year? I’ll sell them to you for $1.50 each?”

I suppose he was making a proactive effort to clear the shelf space, so I didn’t hesitate to accept his offer.

As I was loading them both in our car to head back home, you announced urgently, “I need to go potty!”

Mommy took over loading the trees while I ran you to the restroom inside Lowe’s, chanting this mantra to you the whole time: “Jack, keep holdin’ it, keep holdin’ it! Don’t go yet!”

You thought it was funny. What I didn’t realize is that apparently you have much greater bladder control than I give you credit for.

Needless to say, you didn’t get your “big boy underwear” wet. With my assitance, you went in the big potty in the Lowe’s restroom.

While that may not seem like so big of a deal, it does mark the first time that I’ve ever been the one to take you potty in public, since you started wearing your big boy underwear.

It was pretty cool for me to be a part of.

Well, what can I say? Our family bought two Rosemary (Christmas) trees:

One for the living room and one for the kitchen counter. Because that’s normal.

And the Easter Bunny helped.

 

Love,

Daddy

Leave a comment Posted on parenting, Storytelling

The Subtle Capitalist Message Of Easter Egg Hunts

March 24, 2013 at 2:29 pm , by 

2 years, 4 months.

Dear Jack,

Yesterday Mommy and I took you to your first Easter egg hunt of the year. You insisted on wearing a hat you outgrew several months ago: We let you win that battle.

During the drive there, I prepped you:

“Listen son, when the egg hunt begins, you need to pick up as many eggs as you can and drop them in your basket. Don’t stop to take the time to open the eggs to see what’s inside- there will be time for that later. Just find an area where no other kids are looking and search there for the eggs.”

The whistle blew and you were confused at first by the hysteria; you had the extra challenge of competing with 3 year-olds because we couldn’t find the 2 year-olds’ section.

But then, it was if you immediately remembered what I told you.

I saw this clever smile appear on your face… then you ran to a section in the grass where no one else considered going.

You meant business. Sure, it was fun for you, but you knew that when it was all over, each one of those eggs symbolized a chocolate treat which we normally wouldn’t let you eat.

After all the eggs were found, I couldn’t help but privately compare the number of eggs you had in your basket to the other kids’ baskets.

Son, you smoked ‘em. You did exactly as I instructed you in the car ride there.

You seized the opportunity, capitalizing in the free market of the egg hunt.

Granted, Mommy and I aren’t letting you keep all the candy you found. We sorted through what we would let you keep and we’re actually giving 75% of it away to your friends at daycare.

As your Libertarian dad, I am proud of you for learning a real-life lesson yesterday; in regards to being a responsible and proactive participant in the free market.

You worked hard and reaped the fruits of labor, but you’re also giving back to the community of toddlers who weren’t as fortunate to find as many eggs as you did.

 

Love,

Daddy

2 Comments Posted on People, Recaps, Spirituality, Storytelling, Uncategorized

If Jesus in Deed Never Rose from the Dead, Would Christians Be Jewish Instead?

Whether He is Lord, lunatic, or liar, Jesus Christ is still one miraculous (living) legend.

Depending on how you look at it, Christianity is either A) a hokey cult which spun off of Judaism over 2,000 years ago based on a false prophet who was not actually born of a virgin, or B) the continuation of Judaism which is mainly embraced by those who are not actually Jewish, but instead, as the Apostle Paul put it, “grafted in the vine”.

If it weren’t for Jesus raising from the dead three days after His death or at least people believing that He did, then Protestants, Catholics, and Eastern (Orthodox) Christians worldwide would have a completely different religion all together.  Without Jesus actually being the prophesied Messiah of the Old Testament, there would simply be no Christ in Christianity.  We would still have the Old Testament, though.  And we would still be waiting for the actual Messiah to show up.

What if Jesus really wasn’t the Messiah?  Even if He was simply a fictional character who either never existed or was simply a liar, Jesus would still be the most miraculous man to ever walk this Earth.  Why? Because today, nearly 2 billion of the world’s 7 billion population identify themselves with some form of Christianity. According to Wikipedia, Christianity is still the most popular religion of the world, and that’s not even counting the millions in “underground churches” in places like China.  In other words, it would be simply miraculous that a man who never actually raised from the dead could influence so many millions of people for more than two millennia.  It would be a deceptive and tragic miracle, but still it would be a miracle.

Imagine what an impressive hoax that Christianity would be if Jesus was in deed not the Messiah, and most relevantly, if He simply died like any other Jewish man and never came back to life.  Imagine what a miracle Jesus performed if He never even was who He said He was.  I would have the say that Christianity, in that case, would be the biggest waste of time and energy in the history of the world.

Least importantly would be the question proposed in the title: If Jesus never in deed rose from the dead, would we Christians be Jewish instead?

What religion would Americans and Europeans have accepted, if not Christianity? In the event that the Messiah truly has not arrived yet, would the same Judeo-Christian God be the God we would have embraced, along with the practices of Judaism? Who would we worship instead?  Or what would we worship instead?

Without Jesus actually being the Son of God who conquered death and paid for the sins of mankind by dying on the cross, then raising from the dead, it not only means we are without an eternal hope of salvation- it means a lot of people, for over 2,000 years, have been serving a false, yet still miraculous god.

Leave a comment Posted on Nostalgia, People, Uncategorized

The Randomness of Easter

Back in 2004 when I was in Bangkok, Thailand, I was riding in a taxi with my friend Jessie.  We were on our way to visit a Thai museum and she was asking me about American holidays.  Describing what Easter is to a Thai native is somewhat confusing when it’s said out loud:

“Easter is the day we celebrate Jesus coming back to life after he died on a cross.  But it’s also a way to stimulate our economy because everyone buys a bunch of chocolate candy, sends gifts to each other in ‘Easter baskets’, and purchases some sort of pastel colored dress or suit and tie for the church service that Sunday.”

She asked me, “But what do Jesus and chocolate candy have to do with each other?”

The answer?  Here’s the best I can do.

The LSD tripping Easter Bunny and the general populations’ collective excitement over the candy and the traditional gift giving serve as a vehicle to force the non-religious to identify that there is some sort of significant meaning behind Easter.  They may not fully understand who Jesus is, but they at least know that a lot of other people recognize Easter as the day Jesus came back from the dead.

Americanized Easter is a vehicle that is not against Christian Easter.  It points people in the right direction.

This past Easter it occurred to me just how big of a deal that Easter is to Americans, with or without the solid understanding of what the day is actually celebrated.  My wife and I spent the weekend with my family back in Alabama.  We literally had to leave the church service because there wasn’t enough room for everyone to sit.

So we left the Baptist Easter service and hung out at the Methodist church next door.  Because everyone that’s ever gone to church shows up on Easter.  It’s a major American holiday.  More major than I realized.

I kept hearing “Happy Easter” from everyone and seeing it as status updates on facebook.

Even last night Jimmy Kimmel was talking about his mom still giving him an Easter basket, though he’s now 42.  And he talked about how someone stole his friend’s seat before the church service started and all he could think about during the mass was punching the guy who stole the seat he was saving for his friend.

Funny.  And it shows that behind all the silly American traditions, that even the famous and influential Jimmy Kimmel recognizes there’s more to Easter than what’s on the surface.  In his joke he specifically stated that Easter is when we celebrate Jesus.

And I can relate to Jimmy.  I often want to punch annoying people in the face.