Dear Holly: I Bought a Mystery Machine T-Shirt Because of You!

6 years, 10 months.

Dear Holly,

I happened to randomly take you to Kohl’s to help me shop for some cool new t-shirts for the new year. I chose one with Bob Dylan, to which you commented, “He looks a little bit bumpy.” I didn’t even bother with a follow-up question, as somehow, I think I knew what you meant.

You then saw one featuring The Mystery Machine, along with that famous group of crime-solving teens and their mostly English-speaking Great Dane.

Later than day, due to your brother wanting to binge-watch Young Sheldon, our household ended up getting HBO Max. As I apathetically scrolled through the offerings of the streaming channel, I noticed Scooby-Doo, Where Are You! was included in our subscription.

It didn’t take long before you and I started binging the TV show, based on the t-shirt you chose for me at Kohl’s.

Your immediate observation after the first episode was this: “Daddy, Shaggy is the most scared out of everyone, but he still tries to have fun.”

Yes, as a 6 year-old, you accurately described what it means to be an Enneagram 6 with a dominant 7 wing; which happens to be my Enneagram type, as well.

All because you picked out that t-shirt for my to buy at Kohl’s!

Love,

Daddy

Dear Holly: “All I Care About is Peace and Quiet…”

6 years, 9 months.

Dear Holly,

This past weekend, Mommy and I had our annual “Night Out in Nashville/Get Our Taxes Done the Next Day at H&R Block” event, while Nonna and Papa drove up from Alabama to stay home with you and your brother.

Mommy and I went to go see Adam Sandler perform at the Bridgesone Arena. It was one of the best days I have ever spent with Mommy in the fifteen years we have been together. I am so grateful that we were able to go do that.

Nonna always does a great job of proactively sending Mommy and me photos of what’s going on while we’re away.

My favorite picture of you was of you with the “Daddy puppet” you made at church last Father’s Day.

The caption read, “All I care about is peace and quiet.”

Of course, that was you doing your impression of me.

I feel honored that you represented me so well!

It has been no secret in our family, that since becoming a certified Enneagram coach back in November 2021, I have been on an ongoing adventure of self-discovery, as well as helping us learn more about each other.

Something I pray every morning is, “Help our family to find ways to show each other love, in the ways that we invididually need it.”

You have overhead me talk about it enough, that you know that I am an Enneagram 6; and that specifically, I constantly crave a sense of social security- which for me, is presented in the form of the people around me having fun in a calm and collaborative way.

This past week, you and your brother also brought more insight to me that I had never realized on my own:

“Mommy gets mad when her work is stressful. But you never get mad at work; no matter how crazy things get. Instead, you get mad when people around you are upset and not happy.”

This is 100% accurate. Being an Enneagram 6, I am the problem-solver, the trouble-shooter, and the stabilizer.

Work only stresses me out when there’s not enough problems for me to solve, because I am wired to provide solutions and calmness to the everyday chaos I am presented with. I truly enjoy what I do for a living.

However, it’s when I’m not working that I am most likely to get stressed out; as I am the one in our family who is constantly trying to make everyone feel happy and connected with each other.

I learn so much from you about myself! Thank you, Holly.

Love,

Daddy

Dear Jack: When You Get to Hang Out with Mommy

12 years, 3 months.

Dear Jack,

Last Friday night while your sister and I were out at her school’s Father-Daughter Dance, you and Mommy went out for pizza at Frankie’s.

It is clearly so important to you that you get to spend one-on-one time with Mommy any chance you can.

I am always happy for you when this works out. As a family, we always do our best to create time and space for us all to hang out in pairs; as it is it is undeniable that we need to respect the dynamics of who we are when we are not all four together.

Also, that reminds me… the four of us do need to go to Frankie’s for dinner some time. Our family has never all been there at the same time!

Love,

Daddy

Dear Jack: I’m Pretty Sure You’re the Smartest Person I Know

12 years, 2 months.

Dear Jack,

Like a cat bringing the headless bodies of mice and birds they caught and killed to the front door, you have this habit of strategically leaving your tests from school on the kitchen table;  always showing a 100 score, and often with a note from whichever particular impressed teacher graded it.

You never verbally announce to Mommy and me, “Hey, look at what I did. See how smart I am?”

Instead, you set the stage for us to notice and then to verbally announce to you, which we always do: “Jack, you are so smart! That is amazing. You are definitely more intelligent than I ever was. Very impressive!”

I have always told you that you are definitely smarter than I ever was. You have yet to deny my claim on that.

 

Love,

Daddy

Dear Holly: You Said I’m Everybody’s Best Friend

6 years, 9 months.

Dear Holly,

I am actually able to to learn a lot about myself, thanks to your daily commentary.

This week, I was minding my own business, clearing the dishwasher, when you announced to me:

“Daddy, you’re sort of like everybody’s best friend.”

I explained, “I do my best to not have any enemies…”

You got more specific:

“Anytime we go anywhere, to a store or a restaurant, you always have to talk to people you don’t know, but then it’s like you’re their best friend.”

If me talking to strangers counts as being everybody’s best friend, I’ll take it!

 

Love,

Daddy