Songs I Wrote in 2023: “Apology Tour” – 3rd of 13

I spent most of 2023 writing a book about Enneagram, which I plan to have published in early 2024. During the process, I ended up unpacking a lot of personal issues I have been carrying with me. Specifically, one of the things I learned is that I have a lifelong habit of being very critical of myself, while assuming that everyone else is just as critical of me… which is not actually the case.

In the opening chapter of my upcoming Enneagram book, I began my paraphrasing the lyrics of this song:

I keep beating myself up over all the stupid stuff I did and said – You probably don’t remember it but I’ve carried this with me – I didn’t forget, even if you did – I keep beating myself up – Too much is never enough – I’ve still got one foot in the doorway – You may have moved on but I guess I stayed – I didn’t forget, even if you did – I’m going on an apology tour – Gonna make things right from my former life – Going on an apology tour – Gonna tell you I’m sorry – Better late than never – I’ll be coming to your town – Gonna turn this thing around – I’ll be knocking at your door – Gonna settle this thing for sure – On my upcoming apology tour – What if the only evidence of my crime is locked away in my mind? Perhaps a tree has fallen in the forest and I’m the only one who heard it – I didn’t forget, even if you did – Would it make me a better person if I convinced you I learned my lesson? Would you be able to see I’m a different me than the one who lived in less humility? I didn’t forget, even if you did

Songs I Wrote in 2023: “What’s Mine is Yours and Always Was” – 2nd of 13

In my 2nd song I wrote this year, I thought deeply about how children never have the opportunity to accept an invitation into this world, yet we as parents bring them here, for better and for worse.

This mirrors how God as our Creator does not ask us if we wanted to exist either, yet we are brought into a world where we become responsible and accountable for our decisions and actions.

Specifically, I wrote this song for my son. I reference how I have followed him around with a camera his whole life, as I have documented the story of his life on my website; ever since my wife and I found out she was pregnant with him.

I reference the Bible, in comparing my vision for him in the way God describes his relationship with us.

In these lyrics, I also point out how my own perception of time is undeniably based on my observation of him growing up.

Here are the lyrics to “What’s Mine is Yours and Always Was”:

I’m sorry, I never thought to ask – Did you want to be born into this world where nothing is ever promised how long it will last? Was I lonely? Was it selfish of me to give you life when I’m confused by mine? This place is not exactly what I’d call paradise – One day is thousand years – A lifetime of souvenirs – Good memories to overcome our shame and fears – The days are long and the years are short – I’ve seen it all but there still is more – Getting close to point where you can take it from here – I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper – Not to harm you, no – Plans to give you hope – I know the plans I have for you, plans for a future – No matter what you do, I’m still gonna love you – What’s mine is yours and always was – What’s mine is yours – It always was – With my camera, I followed you your entire life – I hope you didn’t mind – I may not be inside the shot, but I was always there – When you’re older, I hope you look back and see the ways I gave you all I had – I was always far from perfect but I was always there

Dear Holly: Helping Your Brother Play with His Birthday Gifts

7 years, 6 months.

Dear Holly,

Your favorite part about your brother turning 13 a week ago was him teaching you how to use his gifts; which equates in your mind that he is letting you playing with his gifts.

He very patiently taught you how to drive his new remote control car on the track, to make it jump off the ramp.

After that, he took out one of his new fishing poles and taught you the basics of how to cast it.

I can appreciate his willingness to want to teach you new things; matched with your willingness to learn from him.

Love,

Daddy

Dear Jack: A Dad’s Letter to His Son on His 13th Birthday

13 years old!

Dear Jack,

Happy 13th birthday!

If today had not been so exciting for us all today at our house, I might have actually had a chance to feel sad about you becoming a teenager today.

But between your new fishing-themed birthday gifts and the fact you lost a tooth on the way out the door to school this morning, I haven’t had much opportunity to think about how this has been the quickest 13 years of my life.

This is the 13 year-old version of my son:

You love to fish, you love exotic sports cars, and you are convinced that you have what it takes to become a millionaire by your 20th birthday.

Yep, that sounds about right.

I am so grateful you were born 13 years ago today.

I love you so much!

 

Love,

Daddy

Dear Holly: You Won “Best Costume” at Mommy’s Halloween Office Party

7 years, 6 months.

Dear Holly,

There has been a lot of hype this year leading up to your Halloween costume.

Because it wasn’t just about your costume; it was also ensuring that your doll June had a costume to match yours!

Your careful planning paid off, because at Mommy’s Halloween office party, you were voted “Best Costume” by everyone there!

Not only did you get some major bragging rights, but you also got a $15 gift card for Barnes & Noble.

Good thing June came along with us. I know she had a fun time there at the party with everyone!

Love,

Daddy