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Dear Jack: I’m Feeling Guilty About Rushing Through Our Daily Routines

3 years, 11 months.

I’m Feeling Guilty About Rushing Through Our Routines

Dear Jack,

Last night I had a dream in which I could see myself rushing through our bedtime routine; which is pretty much what happened in real life last night.

In my subconcious, I guess I felt bad about not living in the moment enough.

Sometimes I wish we lived in some village in Thailand where we owned very little material things and had more quality time as a family.

On my conference call with Kirk Cameron yesterday, he referenced this guilt we have as parents in knowing the paradox of balancing a demanding schedule with quality family time.

So while I’m not being hard on myself, it is a real and legitimate issue than I am forced to think about.

Even today on the drive to school, I rushed us out of the house, rushed us down the Interstate, rushed you into school; only to forget your stuffed animal in car.

I left your school with you crying and was still a few minutes late to work anyway.

For my lunch break, I drove back to your school, just in time to deliver your stuffed animal to you for your nap time.

I’m Feeling Guilty About Rushing Through Our Routines

I know this is a normal feeling, but it’s really on my mind right now.

Granted, we’re in the process of selling our townhouse, moving our stuff into storage, and buying/building a new house.

By default, life is chaotic for us right now.

And your Mommy and I are actually planners! We are extremely aware of doing our best to ensure as much quality time together as possible.

We’re so extreme we don’t even have cable TV or smart phones or pets; and yet still, there’s that instinct for me to rush through our routines.

Maybe somehow this will get better once we move into our new house, I don’t know.

I don’t want to get in the habit of camping out in the future when the reality is, you’re growing up right in front of me.

Also on my call with Kirk Cameron yesterday, he spoke about the importance of not depending too much on our children’s teachers or coaches or even church leaders to raise our kids; that ultimately, if a child has parents who love each other and set the example, that influences a child more than anything.

So while life is not as easy I as I wish it could be, we’ll do the best with what we have and hope you turn out alright anyway.

I’m pretty sure you will.

Love,

Daddy

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Dear Jack: You Now Can Remember Your “Past Life” As A Baby

3 years, 11 months.

Dear Jack: You Now Can Remember Your “Past Life” As A Baby

Dear Jack,

Here lately, you’ve been asking me questions when you were a baby. I’ve determined that your definition of “baby” basically means any time before you were 3 years old.

Given that your 4th birthday is coming up next weekend; that means that the last year of your life, the year between age 3 and age 4, is the part you’ve lived as a “boy.”

Again, this is all your thinking, not mine. I’ve learned this by you calling any other kid under the age of 3 a baby.

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So in essence, you are asking questions about your “past life”… I was there for all of it, documenting it the whole time. As for you, you mainly only remember the events from the most recent 25% of your life.

Dear Jack: You Now Can Remember Your “Past Life” As A Baby

For example, you obviously still remember your friend Sophie; she moved away in February.

But as for Henry, you’re clueless. Many playdates took place. There were countless hours together at your school.

Yet the only reference you have of him is after the fact; pictures and videos that I took of you two.

Dear Jack: You Now Can Remember Your “Past Life” As A Baby

Of course, I fully recognize that this most recent 25% of your life will eventually become the oldest 25%, getting blurrier as each year passes.

In the end, you’ll only remember a portion of this past year which you can currently recall very well.

Like this- will you remember the days when you’d visit our next door neighbor Rachel and her pet cat after school?

Because those are things are going on in your life right now.

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Will you remember drawing your awesome pictures of monster trucks then asking Mommy and me to cut them out and hang on the fridge?

As for me, I serve witness to these memories which will mostly be forgotten by you. And since I’m taking good notes, you’ll always have a portal to the past for any day you want to travel time.

I’ll tell you all about it. I’ll even show you.

Love,

Daddy

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Growing Up Social: Family Friendly Book Review

As my regular readers of Family Friendly Daddy Blog already know, my family is building a house; closing date in January 29th, 2015.

In the process of planning out the rooms, my wife and I have decided that while we will have a TV in the bonus room, we won’t have one downstairs in the living room; or any other room.

That means in order to watch TV, you actually have to walk upstairs and isolate yourself. Therefore, the temptation is greatly reduced to walk in the door and veg out without spending quality time with other family members.

I believe it’s “little” decisions like that which contribute to health family communication and relationships.

Growing Up Social: Family Friendly Book Review

A few weeks ago while reviewing a car here for Family Friendly Daddy Blog, I was sent an iPad and an iPhone to use in conjunction with the vehicle’s 4G LTE capabilities.

I should point out that I’m of the American minority; we have no smart phones in our household. My wife and I both have “dumb” phones instead.

The main reason is because we’re not willing to pay for a data plan. We are on a family plan with my parents and pay a monthly total of only $30 per month. Again, that’s total; not per person.

But even if it cost us no extra money per month to own smart phones, I still wouldn’t be excited.

Here’s why:

I fully recognized that my family’s life is hurried enough. My wife and I both work; our son is in school all day. The commute time in Nashville is longer than the average large city.

We don’t need more interruptions or distractions in our lives. I feel that if we owned smart phones, it would only add to the anxiety.

Sure, I get the irony in the fact that I run this blog from a cheap ASUS laptop and a dumb phone. I was the official daddy blogger for Parents Magazine for 3 years and never once touched a smart phone.

Of all people, I should own a smart phone… or at least want one. But I don’t.

I won’t deny the fact that having a smart phone for that week made certain things more convenient. However, I found myself getting frustrated that I couldn’t use manage my blog with the same ease as a laptop.

Plus, I don’t like knowing that I can check my email or Facebook at any time. I’d rather just “shut it off” during the day.

Growing Up Social

With that being said, you could imagine I would easily like this book…Growing Up Social, by Gary Chapman (The 5 Love Languages) and Arelene Pellicane (31 Days to Becoming a Happy Wife).

The book causes you to ask yourself, “Is technology bringing your family closer together or driving you farther apart?”

Growing Up Social teaches the five skills that every healthy child needs to master: affection, appreciation, anger management, apology, and attention:

The Skill of Affection – How do you show real love to another person?

The Skill of Appreciation – How do you cultivate a grateful heart?

The Skill of Attention – How do you focus and be a good listener?

The Skill of Anger Management – How do you express anger in a productive way?

The Skill of Apology – How do you mend a relationship after you make a mistake?

The focus is raising relational kids in a screen-driving world. So relevant!

And one lucky reader will win a free copy of this book today…

Just be the first person to post on the Facebook wall for Family Friendly Daddy Blog (not a private message), asking me, “Did I just win Growing Up Social?”

If you’re the first person to do so, I will respond by saying yes… After that, I will follow up by getting your address to give to the publisher so they can send you your won copy!

Update: A winner was found within just a few minutes of this post going live. The giveaway portion is now complete.

Did I just win Growing up social????

Family Friendly Daddy Blog

Thanks for reading today! And remember, I’ll be giving more books away; so stay tuned…

“Disclosure (in accordance with the FTC’s 16 CFR, Part 255: ‘Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising’):

Many thanks to Propellor Consulting, LLC for providing this prize for the giveaway. Choice of winners and opinions are 100% my own and NOT influenced by monetary compensation. I did receive a sample of the product in exchange for this review and post.

Only one entrant per mailing address, per giveaway. If you have won the same prize on another blog, you are not eligible to win it again. Winner is subject to eligibility verification.”

1 Comment Posted on Nostalgia, parenting, Storytelling, Uncategorized

Making Cool Party Favors By Baking Crayons In Lego Man Molds

3 years, 11 months.

Making Cool Party Favors By Baking Crayons In Lego Man Molds

Dear Jack,

In addition to making you feel special by taking you to go get tater tots at Burger Republic back in September for the “The Great Food Truck Festival”, you also had a lot of fun that same weekend by helping Mommy and me make some of the party favors for your upcoming birthday party in just two weeks.

For your appropriately themed Lego party at Bricks 4 Kids (A Lego-themed party place), we are giving out homemade Lego Man crayons as part of your party favor bags.

Mommy found the Lego Man mold on Amazon. From there, we found a few boxes of old crayons; some of them having been baking in our cars for the past couple of years!

Making Cool Party Favors By Baking Crayons In Lego Man Molds

My main job was to take the knife and cut off the paper wrappers. Your job was to organize the crayons by color (which you did with great pride) and throw away the wrappers for me after I cut them off the crayons, which was actually very helpful for me.

From there, Mommy crushed them and fit them into the molds, baking them for a little while. After that they went into the freezer to cool off.

Making Cool Party Favors By Baking Crayons In Lego Man Molds

Too bad we only had one mold tray, which yields 8 Lego Man crayons at a time. Mommy was basically baking batches for about 6 hours straight in order to produce a total of about 64.

So as you can see, as long as you use as least 2 different colors of crayons, each Lego Man crayon is guaranteed to look unique, like a snowflake or a fingerprint.

Making Cool Party Favors By Baking Crayons In Lego Man Molds

My favorite one looked like the Earth. I named him Captain Planet.

Without surprise, you immediately chose your favorites to put in your own goody bag.

Making those Lego Man crayons was definitely a fun family activity for us. Granted, Mommy’s role was the most tedious.

Making Cool Party Favors By Baking Crayons In Lego Man Molds

But we all a great time. It was such a unique and “Pinteresty” thing for us to do.

I guess we get cool points now or something…

Love,

Daddy

3 Comments Posted on new house, parenting, Spirituality, Storytelling, Uncategorized

Dear Jack: Writing Bible Verses On Our Unfinished House

3 years, 11 months.

Dear Jack: Writing Bible Verses On Our Unfinished House

Dear Jack,

Today as we drove out to see the progress on our new house we’re having built, we had a very special plan: we brought a permanent marker with us.

Dear Jack: Writing Bible Verses On Our Unfinished House

No, it wasn’t for you to draw pictures in the back set. Mommy and I decided we wanted to both contribute a Bible verse on the soon to be covered up walls of our home.

As we walked in today, workers were starting some of the base coat painting; now that the dry wall is up. The brick is up, too; along with the siding, which will be painted later on.

Some of the only unpainted surface inside was the door frames. So in the door frame of your bedroom closet, I wrote “Jeremiah 29:11”; a verse Mommy is actually more familiar with that I am:

‘For I know the plans that I have for you,’ declares the LORD, ‘plans for welfare and not for calamity, to give you a future and a hope.’

I thought that was very thoughtful of Mommy. Obviously, she and I have plans to give you a hopeful future as well; and it’s so cool to think that God does too.

'For I know the plans that I have for you,' declares the LORD, 'plans for welfare and not for calamity to give you a future and a hope.

As for my Bible verse, I chose Joshua 24:15:

“If it is disagreeable in your sight to serve the LORD, choose for yourselves today whom you will serve: whether the gods which your fathers served which were beyond the River, or the gods of the Amorites in whose land you are living; but as for me and my house, we will serve the LORD.”

I see this house as a blessing, yet one we’ve also worked very hard for. It’s important to me that we honor God as we grow in this new house together as a family.

So today, in our own quirky way, we dedicated our home to the Lord. It’s His anyway.

Granted, you were more fascinated by the painter who was using stilts to paint the walls around the stairway. It was pretty awesome to see.

"If it is disagreeable in your sight to serve the LORD, choose for yourselves today whom you will serve: whether the gods which your fathers served which were beyond the River, or the gods of the Amorites in whose land you are living; but as for me and my house, we will serve the LORD."

But even if you don’t remember today, let this letter serve as a reminder that whatever crazy things may go on outside this house, God has wonderful plans for you.

And I believe, part of that is because our family is letting it be known, we serve the Lord; not any other power in the world, and definitely not ourselves.

Those are all just words, though. How we love each other and serve each other in the years to come is the true testament of our actions today.

Please know that every day I pray for wisdom, humility, faith, grace, patience, and creativity. Those are all things I focus on, and all things that will make me the father you need me to be.

I’m far from perfect, but despite my many faults you’ll see during your lifetime, I want you to know me personally as a man who loves the Lord with all my heart; as well as you and Mommy.

Love,

Daddy