Author: Family Friendly Daddy Blog

1 Comment Posted on parenting, Storytelling

I Never Saw Myself As A Non-Spanking Parent, But…

October 24, 2013 at 9:20 pm , by 

2 years, 11 months.

Dear Jack,

Back before you were of disciplining age, I was no skeptic of parents who refused to spank their child; in fact, I passionately mocked the idea of discplining without spanking.

I vehemently disagreed with Super Nanny’s approach.

“Time out? Yeah right. Like that does any good,” I would think to myself.

I believed that “non-spanking” was part of a liberal media agenda which led to uncontrollable children and even, overall, a higher crime rate for the adults who were not spanked as kids.

Then I changed my mindset. I stopped looking at opposing groups of people as “wrong” or “right,” based on their opinions. I stopped feeding into the polarization of America, based on our divided cultural leanings and preferences.

(Even to the point I now think Republicans and Democrats are equal. I realize it’s heresy to both sides to say that, though.)

But it’s true that I use to totally stereotype parents who didn’t spank their children.

I assumed that if a parent didn’t spank their child, they definitely didn’t effectively discipline them. Or it meant, in theory, they didn’t really discipline them at all.

Something that always kept me close-minded to the concept of discipline without spanking is a Bible verse (Proverbs 13:24) that I had always interpreted in a preconceived way:

“Whoever spares the rod hates their children, but the one who loves their children is careful to discipline them.”

I always took that to mean “the rod” (or the paddle, etc.) exclusively equalled discipline. In other words, I thought it would be impossible to properly discipline a child without ultimately resorting to spanking. But now, I read that verse differently:

My interpretation is, “It’s better to spank your child in an effort to discipline them, than to not discipline your child at all. But the main thing is, that you do discipline your child- not necessarily how you discipline them.”

Therefore, I totally don’t care how other parents discipline their children. I used to, but I’m way over that.

What I do care about is how I discipline you. And for Mommy and I, that means not resorting to spanking. For us, that’s what we feel is right for our family.

Again, I have completely neutral feelings about how other parents discipline their kids. I have no time to think or care about that. None of my business or concern. Complete Libertarian approach.

What got me thinking about this is that a couple of days ago another blogger on Parents.com wrote an article and posted a video that I totally agree with:

The video explains 5 alternatives to spanking that Mommy and I apply:

1. Ignore attention-seeking behavior.

2. Pay attention to good behavior.

3. Redirect your child.

4. Teach consequences that make sense.

5. Use time-outs for serious offenses.

I love you, therefore I discipline you. I just happen to be one the parents who believes spanking is not the most effective long-term way to carry out that discipline for my own child.

That doesn’t make me a better parent in any way, but it does make me a version of myself I had never seen myself becoming, before actually becoming a parent.

 

Love,

Daddy

Leave a comment Posted on Nostalgia, parenting

Since Becoming A Parent, My Facebook Pics Have Matured

October 22, 2013 at 10:39 pm , by 

2 years, 11 months.

Dear Jack,

Sunday night, Mommy scrolled through the pictures on my personal Facebook page going back all the way to March 2005, when I first joined the social media website.

After doing so, she remarked, “Your Facebook pictures have obviously become a lot more mature since we got married and especially since Jack was born.”

She’s totally right.

I haven’t gone through the trouble of removing them yet, but at the time of writing this letter to you, there were still quite a few pictures of me posing for purposely stupid pictures.

Like the one where I am inmpersonating a pro-wrestler, with my shirt off, standing in front of a huge British flag.

Oh, and my hair is down to my chin.

Then there’s the one where I’m mocking the year 1976 where I have the same long hair, accompanied by a creeper mustache and an unbuttoned silky shirt.

And don’t forget the entire picture folder which contains several shots of me in Mr. Potato Head pajama pants pretending to fall down a flight of stairs.

Completely stupid, but at least on purpose.

But in the year 2005, I was a single, 24 year-old dude. That’s the kind of stuff I could put on Facebook and easily get away with.

Of course, back in those days, the only people were who my Facebook friends were people I knew from college and expected my deadpan sense of humor.

These days, everyone’s on Facebook- including semi-distant relatives, my former elementary school teachers, and church staff.

I can’t get away with being that goofy like I used to. It confuses people. I’ve learned irony, sarcasm, and dark comedy don’t quite translate on Facebook like they did when I was 24.

Even over the recent past several months, I have totally toned down my Facebook behavior in general.

It used to be that I would post fake status updates to see who would think I was serious. Turns out, more people did than I realized…

It used to be that I was more opinionated, but I realized it actually divided people and that’s not something I want to be known for.

So needless to say, my Facebook lifestyle has evolved.

I’m not saying I never have fun on it anymore, but considering that posting pictures of Mommy and me pretending to eat giant M&M’s at the Louisville Zoo are the new “crazy” pictures, I’d say I’ve defintely matured since the days of the long-haired guy posing in Mr. Potato Head pajama pants.

Now, my general rule for posting a picture of myself on Facebook is that you have to be in it too. “Selfie” shots now include you and/or Mommy.

I’m growing up, Son.

 

Love,

Daddy

Leave a comment Posted on Nostalgia, parenting

Step 1: Obtain New Toy, Step 2: Cover It In Play-Doh

October 21, 2013 at 9:53 pm , by 

2 years, 11 months.

Dear Jack,

When you were much younger, you would break in a new toy (or any random object) by putting it in your mouth.

These days, you instead cover the new toy or object in Play-Doh.

It’s the initation process, in your world.

While I napped for 20 minutes in the Kroger parking lot, like a rock, you were inside the grocery store helping Mommy.

When the two of you came back to the car, you had a new Hot Wheels ’67 Camaro in your hands:

“Look, Daddy! I got a new race car!”

We were home within 10 minutes and the first thing you did was to have me set up your play table and get out your red Play-Doh.

Why?

To cover your brand-new car in slime, or mud, or whatever it is you pretend that Play-Doh is.

It wasn’t until hours later that I actually got to see your new toy, because it was consumed by a red blob for its first waking hours.

Sure, Play-Doh can be used to make dinosaurs and animals and balls to roll around.

But ultimately, it’s used as an element of nature.

You get a quirky sense of pleasure out of swallowing your new toys in Play-Doh. Like I said, it’s the initiation process.

Mommy and I actually got to quietly eat dinner in the living room Saturday night, as you were quite self-contained in the kitchen with your Play-Doh torture center, I mean, activity play area.

After the new toy survives at least 90 minutes of conditioning to the extremes of Play-Doh, it must then endure, and conquer, the Play-Doh worms that unravel as the car finally breaks through the stronghold of the Play-Doh encasing.

It’s hilarious to me.

I don’t even mind picking up all the little red dots of Play-Doh before they get a chance to get ground into our light gray carpet.

 

Love,

Daddy

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Leave a comment Posted on Nostalgia, parenting

It’s Lovely Weather For a HAYRIDE Together With You!

October 20, 2013 at 11:24 pm , by 

2 years, 11 months.

Dear Jack,

This is a picture of you on your very first hayride, at least that I’m aware of.

(You were obviously happy about it.)

The way I see it, going on a hayride is one of the most American things you can do in Autumn.

It starts getting too cold to enjoy being outside in October, so you show up to a farm (more marketably called a “pumpkin patch”) where enough other people want to have fun, despite it being too cold to be outside for an hour and a half compared to if they were simply in their own yard.

How it seems to go for most new experiences in your life, like the train ride at the zoo last weekend, you typically are quiet as you process what’s going on- to figure out whether or not you like it.

Typically, it’s not until at least the next day that you refer to the experience as a positive event.

But with the hayride, it was barely finished before you announced to Mommy and me, “I liked the hayride.”

After all, we got pulled by a tractor! That’s not something we get to do everyday.

Soon after, we made our way to the play area, where you had no trouble finding a toy tractor to reenact our adventure.

I was uncertain how you’d react to the Halloween decorations that were placed all along the ride, but you actually thought they were pretty cool- like the giant spider made out of hay.

So what are our plans for next weekend?

You guessed it. We’re headed back to the pumpkin patch to go on the hayride again.

I’m becoming more aware of the fact that I really get to have more fun with you these days. I’m especially looking forward to the holidays coming up for the rest of the year.

Now you are really starting to remember the activities and adventures we do together as a family.

That’s not to say you’re ready for Disney World, but I’d say you’re definitely approved for that 2nd visit to the pumpkin patch next weekend.

 

Love,

Daddy

 

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Annie’s Homegrown Is America’s #10 Best Small Company

October 17, 2013 at 9:55 pm , by 

2 years, 11 months.

Dear Jack,

Tuesday afternoon when I picked you up from school, your teacher Ms. Lauren directed me over to the current poster on the wall, featuring what you and your friends have been learning about this week.

The question was, “What do we buy at the grocery store?”

As always, you had the most random, confusing answer:

“Old MacDonald mac and cheese, apple squeeze things, fruit juice, pizza.”

By “apple squeeze things,” Ms. Lauren knew you meant fruit pouches (GoGo Squeez applesauce pouches).

But as for “Old MacDonald mac and cheese,” she had no clue…

I explained to her that Annie’s Homegrown makes a type of mac and cheese called Bernie’s Farm, which contains noodles in the shapes of rabbits, tractors, carrots, and cows.

That, to you, is “Old MacDonald mac and cheese.”

The only other peculiar answer I saw on the list was your friend Sophie’s:

Spoons.

Yes, well, I guess sometimes you do have to get spoons at the grocery store…

Of all weeks for this story to be something I would write about, when I signed on to the MSN homepage today, I saw a link to the story, according to Forbes, “America’s Top 25 Best Small Companies.”

Annie’s Homegrown is #10 on Forbes’ list!

Do you know how happy that makes me?

I love it that a food company like Annie’s Homegrown, who is committed to saying no to GMO’s (and Monsanto) and petroleum-based food dyes (like Kraft uses) is able to be so successful in the free market.

The other thing I love is that there’s enough people in America who demand real food (that doesn’t contain mysterious and potentially harmful chemicals) so that a brand like Annie’s can be this successful.

This is such a beautiful case of supply and demand.

But most of all, the best part of this story for me is, you love Annie’s enough to mention it at school as one of the necessary staples that you like to buy at the grocery store.

You’re as passionate about Annie’s as I am! (Okay, so maybe you just like the way their food tastes and looks, and you’re not really aware of Annie’s “no GMO” policy, but still.)

That gives me one more reason to be so proud of you.

 

Love,

Daddy