Author: Family Friendly Daddy Blog

Leave a comment Posted on parenting, Storytelling

What Happens Upstairs While Daddy’s Doing The Dishes Below

October 30, 2013 at 9:27 pm , by 

2 years, 11 months.

Dear Jack,

About a month ago (at least) our dishwasher stopped working. Even if I had the handyman skills I wish that had, I still don’t see how I could budget that time into our time-starved schedule.

I imagine it would take a whole sacred Saturday afternoon (at best) for me to fix the thing. Eventually, Papa (my dad) and I will get it taken care of while he and Nana are visiting for the holidays.

The funny thing is, neither Mommy nor I really care that we currently don’t have a running dishwasher.

One of my roles in our household is to take care of all the dishes and clean up the kitchen after dinner each night.

I’ve always washed everything by hand anyway, so by now, having to fool with loading and unloading the dishwasher, not to mention having to to pay for the water and electricity to clean them a 2nd time, it just seems like too much hassle.

Though it may seem like a simple task, it takes me about 45 minutes to wash and dry all the dishes, put them away, wipe down the counters, and vacuum the floor.

During that time, I’m missing a world of fun upstairs.

That’s when Mommy gets you ready for bed. I never knew what I was missing!

But recently there was a night where we hardly had any dishes, so I got to check out what you two do while Daddy’s doing the dishes every night.

The lights were out and I discovered Mommy using only a flashlight to read you a bedtime story…

And to teach you how to make shadow puppets!

It’s funny because I’ve always wondered what all the laughing and jumping around was going on upd there, as I listened from down below:

Our kitchen is basically directly below your bedroom.

Mommy and you get to have fun; that’s what’s going on upstairs.

Meanwhile, I have the glorious job of dish duty while listening to Imagine Dragons.

I don’t mind, though. It’s important that you and Mommy get to have that special time together.

Since I’m the one you takes you to school, I have at least two exclusive hours a day that Mommy doesn’t.

Besides, being the “kitchenware engineer” helps me feel a little bit more useful around here, since I imagine most dads would have already fixed their broken dishwasher by now.

Granted, I could get you to bed a lot sooner myself, but I bet Mommy’s a lot more fun!

 

Love,

Daddy

 

 

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Leave a comment Posted on Nostalgia, parenting

Setting Some Ground Rules For Halloween Candy, Or Not

October 29, 2013 at 11:11 pm , by 

2 years, 11 months.

Dear Jack,

Thursday night for Halloween, Mommy and I will be taking you to the neighboorhood Fall Festival.

I think we are more excited than you are, as it seems you are confused by what will be taking place there.

The thought of everyone dressing up in costumes and getting free candy for no real good reason, well… yeah, I could see the confusion.

Something I just now thought of is how you won’t necessarily know how to mentally process the upcoming influx of candy.

Meanwhile, I won’t know how to mentally process the upcoming influx of candy, either.

As a parent who practices a strict plant-based lifestyle, the thought of you having access to all that petroleum-based food dye and high-fructose corn syrup is actually the scariest part of Halloween, for me.

With you a few weeks away from your 3rd birthday, you’re just now old enough to where I’m letting you “experiment” with candy.

This is the first Halloween where candy is actually part of the equation.

And I have no gameplan.

What I mean is, I’ve yet to draw the lines on what candy I don’t want you eating and how much of the approved candy I’m willing to let you keep.

I can’t just let you have as much of whatever you get, even though it’s completely free.

At this point, I suppose what it will come down to is Mommy and me actually getting back home and sorting through your spoils.

Hmm. Now I’m curious to see which candy I will and will not approve. I honestly don’t know.

I’m assuming every other parent has to figure this out, too: how to filter through the candy explosion yet not deprive their kid of the fun.

While I am curious to know how other parents handle this, I’m also sort of up for the surprise of seeing which candy (and how much of it) I will decide to allow.

So maybe I should revisit this question in a few days?

 

Love,

Daddy

 

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Having Another Child, From A Business Perspective

October 29, 2013 at 12:08 am , by 

2 years, 11 months.

Dear Jack,

In 4th grade, I had the privilege and honor of doing the cartoon for my town’s junior edition of the newspaper.

The movie Dick Tracywas in theatres the summer before, so I crafted up a clever (?) comic strip called Nick Tracy.

As you can see, Nick Tracy steps in to save the day, as a bully-looking character named Alan mentions to a more studious-looking fellow that he is thinking about quitting school.

(I wonder how old I intended the characters to be, because I sort of get the impression they were in 4th grade at the time, just like me.)

But when it was all said and done, the takeaway actually had less to do with staying in school and more about the reason why kids should not quit school: so they can get a job. I was only 10, but I was concerned about my classmates getting jobs.

You will always know me as the Dave Ramsey-endorsing, Robert Kiyosaki-following (author of the book Rich Dad, Poor Dad), credit card-bashing dad I am. Granted, it took me plunging into financial hades (I’m trying to avoid the cliche “rock bottom”) to be the budget-obsessed, debt-free parent I’ve worked so hard and deliberately to become.

So while there was a learning curve involved as I transitioned into my 30s, ultimately, as I rediscovered this old comic strip of mine from 22 years ago, I now realize: I’ve always been seriously focused on money.

What I never cared about was buying trophies with money. I laugh at the idea of a person being congratulated about a new car purchase: They’re simply being congratulated on having to make car payments.

I’m not impressed by anyone’s material possessions they can afford (or can give the illusion of affording, thanks to credit cards and/or loans), but I am completely impressed by people who actually know how to manage their own money. Because I am so eager to learn from them.

The irony is, I’m impressed by the fancy things people don’t buy, but could afford. To hear of a CEO choosing to drive his old Toyota instead of a new BMW, that’s a man I’m going to respect.

With that being said, the main thing holding me back now from the thought of wanting to have another child is the financial aspect of it. Robert Kiyosaki has trained me to see the world in terms of assets and liabilities.

In his book, Rich Dad, Poor Dad, he recognizes children as financial liabilities. If I am looking at our family as a business unit, as I feel I should, then I have to be willing to remove the sentimentality aspect of bringing another child into this world and instead attach a dollar sign to your potential younger sister or brother.

As I learned from my editor in an article she wrote a few months ago called Will Millennials Be Able To Afford Children?, I found out that not even counting the cost of college, it costs around $240,000 to raise a child from birth to age 18.

You’re worth it, by the way!

But that would it take for me to feel comfortable (and passionate) enough to justify in my mind the expense of having another child?

Based on our current income and our plans to move to a better neighborhood so that we can get you into a good school system, I’d say… it would take doubling our family’s income, plus somehow miraculously being able to spend more time together as a family. Then I might be a little bit more ambitious when it comes to growing the family.

I’m not daring God at all on this. That’s just what it would take, based on where I’m at with it right now.

 

Love,

Daddy

Leave a comment Posted on Nostalgia, parenting, Storytelling

You’re Not Entitled To Much In This Life, Except…

October 27, 2013 at 11:15 pm , by 

2 years, 11 months.

Dear Jack,

Every once in a while, I try to take a break from narrating and bookmarking your life, and instead I like to share some advice on life, based on what I, as your dad, am experiencing.

Here is one of those things I especially want you to remember from me:

You’re not entitled to much in this life.

See, I am a child of the Eighties. Born in 1981, I am the firstborn of Generation Y.

Growing up, I was told by everyone, including every adult I knew, that I could do and become anything I dreamed of and put my heart into.

And I bought it. After all, I heard it all the time!

Yes, I do indeed believe that you, my son, can do and become anything you dream of.

But at the same time, I don’t want you taking that as simply as I did.

Because then there’s a chance your dreams will remain dreams, if you do. There’s a chance you may believe that making dreams come true is actually easier than it is.

It’s not easy.

I had to work very hard (and very smart) to get where I am in life.

But I admit, something that life has taught me, especially since joining the career world nearly a decade ago, is that basically, I’m entitled to… not a lot.

I used to believe I deserved certain things in life. I believed that because (at least in my own mind) I’m a “good person,” that meant I would be the automatic recipient of a somewhat easier path to my definition of success.

It has only been in recent years that I fully realized and accepted this is not so easily the case. Sure, I’m special, as every person is, but as far as being entitled to things in life because of it, I’ve found more of the opposite to be true.

Because if everyone is special, then it takes a lot more work to prove that you, as an individual, really are that special. (Hence the concept behind American Idol.)

So I had to lower my expectations on certain things in life. That happened by me nixing the belief that I am entitled to anything.

In fact, what exactly am I entitled to? That’s a deep thought- and right now, I honestly don’t know the answer.

Life is challenging. But as long as I am here in this life, you will have me not only rooting you on, but being that (sometimes annoying) person to also show you the fundamentals on how to make your dreams come true.

Based on what I know, it has a lot to do with capitalizing on what you’re already best at, while at the same time overcoming the challenges (and fears) of your weaknesses and not letting them be the reason you don’t get what you want in life.

I also know a lot of success in life has to do with money management, not simply making money: It’s crucial to become debt-free, then save and invest your money for the rest of your life.

You will always be hearing me preach this lesson to you because it was only this past July that our family worked our way out of over $58,000 of debt, now being able to save our money; and in the future, to be able to start investing it.

So that’s what you’ve got ahead of you, a life of hard (and smart) work.

You’re not entitled to much in this life, except… my direction and encouragement on how to work for dreams, not wait on or expect them.

You’re entitled to me passionately supporting your dreams, but you’re the one in the driver’s seat. I’m just reading the GPS to you.

You’re entitled to my love and support. I know that much.

 

Love,

Daddy

Leave a comment Posted on Nostalgia, parenting

Family: A Witness To The Best And Worst Parts Of Life

October 24, 2013 at 11:37 pm , by 

2 years, 11 months.

Dear Jack,

I wish I could think of a more clever title than that, but that’s the best way to summarize how I see it.

If only it was as easy as two people falling in love and having babies and it all automatically working out after that…

Like marriage, maintaining a positively functioning family is hard work. It’s an investment.

Our lives spent together as a family are enriched because we accept the challenges and mysteries of everyday life together. But being a family doesn’t magically fix things.

The way I see it, a strong family must be built and nurtured. I can’t expect to be completely fulfilled by you and Mommmy.

That would be putting way too much pressure and responsibility on both of you. In the same way, I can’t make your life perfect and complete simply because I’m part of your family.

Being part of a family means agreeing to go through the worst parts of life together with the same passion and acceptance as we do the best parts.

It’s a priviledge, a responsibility, and a blessing.

I don’t mean to seem so fatalistic or gloomy about it, but I do believe that love is long suffering. I believe that’s part of what a family’s love is all about. Yet, I believe that same love is also kind.

And that it doesn’t envy; that it doesn’t parade itself. It’s not puffed up;  it doesn’t behave rudely. It doesn’t seek after a selfish agenda.

I believe love is not provoked and doesn’t think evil or rejoice in iniquity, but instead, in truth.

The way I see it, our family’s love must bear all things, believe all things, hope all things, and endure all things.

And I believe love never fails.

Yes, that’s easier to say than to live out on a daily and lifelong basis. I know.

Because love is not automatic or easy. It’s a choice.

Maybe it’s too naive to aim for perfect love in our family, but I do know that perfect love drives out fear.

I can’t expect things just to work out for us because we are a family. I have to be the kind of love I want to receive in our family.

To me, this is what real love is actually about. It’s a little too real sometimes.

 

Love,

Daddy