It’s a sort of eery feeling getting up at 1:30 AM, 3:30 AM, and/or 5:30 AM every morning to feed and change Jack. While it’s still dark and quiet, while I’m only “awake” enough to put the word in quotation marks, and while my memory barely records the routine actions taking place during the twilight, I’m sure I’m subconsciously looking for something out of the ordinary. As I hold Jack in one arm and his bottle in the other, the dimly lit room casts a strange shadow on his face. Sometimes when I look at him during this time I get a little creeped out. In this situation he reminds me of a baby version of the Cowardly Lion in the Wizard of Oz (played by the Jewish actor Bert Lahr); that movie and the original Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory, though they are both wonderful classic movies, have always freaked me out a bit. On a similar note, it also seems like I’m taking care of a little old man, with his receding hairstyle (Jack Nicholson style), his chubby cheeks, and his baby-version-of-cussing-somebody-out cries when he’s really hungry and his diaper is wet.
To make matters more theatrical, there are times when I am taking care of him during the middle of the night when it’s like he peeks around my shoulder and sees something and gets this calm yet curious look on his face. Does he see something? A guardian angel? Jesus? Maybe the ghost of Bert Lahr?
I wouldn’t be surprised if babies can see into the spiritual realm. It could make sense in a way; babies are completely innocent. They are unaware of damning traps like pride and greed. I could see how a baby is naturally closer to Heaven than we adults are. Sometimes I envy the things my baby may be seeing. But then again, it would be just another thing to spook me in the middle of the night. It seems every account I can immediately think of in the Bible where an angelic being spoke to a human, the angel always had to start the conversation out with “Do not be afraid…” But Jack isn’t scared by whatever he is seeing around me that I am less aware; if he’s actually seeing anything supernatural at all.
It’s only natural to think, “If only I could go back in time with the knowledge I know now…” That goes through my head way more than it should. About all kinds of things from my past. But to be able to do that would mean I would have the mind of a 28 year-old and the body of a kid. Unfair advantage.
I’m sure it all goes back to the hidden (male) feeling of inadequacy:
I should have made a point to build stronger friendships with certain people in high school and been more involved with school events, like decorating of the halls for Homecoming Week which I skipped out on.
I should have focused more on writing while I was in college.
I should have just gone to the University of Alabama and saved my parents thousands of dollars instead of going to a private college in Virginia.
Here’s the irony. If I would have done those things differently like I “should have” done, I wouldn’t have gained the experience that I have know to even though that those things were what I would have wanted.
I would have probably just have ended up more confused with even more “should have’s”.
So I here am, still paying off college debts because I was “supposed to” go to Liberty University in Virgina. When I could have just gone to Alabama.
In theory, if I could go back and do things in the parallel What If Universe, I would have been more confident in high school, I wouldn’t be in debt because of college, and I would have gotten a more specific education and would now be a famous author with a major book deal and a 40 state tour to sell my book, Scenic Route Snapshots. They end up making a movie from my book, starring James Franco.
That’s me totally romanticizing my life.
But I’m here instead. A great life. I wouldn’t change a thing.
I just have to quiet that daydreaming tendency in me that wonders “what if?” Of course if I really lived in that What If Universe, I have a feeling I would still end up in the same place. Dang flash-sideways. Actually, things would probably be less desirable.
I would always be wondering how my life would have been different had I left the state of Alabama after high school graduation. I would always be curious about that exotic life I never got to live. I would be envious of the life I live now.
It’s often easiest to want the things we can never have. Like the ability to go back and live in the What If Universe.
Whether or not my life would be changed, I couldn’t say the same for the lives of a few others in my life. The reason my sister and her husband met was because of where I went to college. Out of state. The kids they end up having, in some fashion, I helped bring them into existence by my random dream to go to college in Lynchburg, Virginia.
And another married couple I brought together unintentionally: During my senior year of college I ran the front desk of Liberty University’s brand new state-of-the-art student center, equipped with an Olympic sized pool and 6 basketball court. I worked the early morning shift with a girl named Jen. Every morning these two funny guys named Chris and Jesse came in to work out in the gym.
A few months went by of the usual random conversations I would have with them as they came in. The whole time, Jen was right there sitting beside me- the more soft-spoken one of us who observed and participated in our conversations of the day: “Which movie is scarier? The original Willy Wonka or The Wizard of Oz?”
For my birthday that year, Chris and Jesse performed a special dance and song they had written just for me, with the lyrics, “Naughty Nick, naughty, naughty Nick…” The corresponding dance moves involved syncopated pelvic thrusts and a finale where they pulled underwear out of their shorts and left them on the floor as a birthday souvenir. (Check the comments on the “About the Author” tab on this site. Jesse recently reminded me of all this, bringing this post into existence.)
Soon after, I took off a day from work. I returned the next day to find out that Jen agreed to go on a date with Chris- a motorcycle ride and dinner, to be exact. That was five years ago. They have since been married and recently had their first child.
What if? What if I wouldn’t have forced my friendly abstract banter with those two guys day after day? Would Jen and Chris have broken the ice? Or would he have just been another guy going to the gym have morning and she just another girl checking for student ID’s at the front desk?
Have I changed their lives forever by playing an off-beat pawn that caused them both to be on the same track?
The same could be said for John, the guy who introduced my wife and me to each other.
Thank God for all the times we don’t get to live out the “what if’s?” My guess is that it’s often the somewhat seemingly bland path we did choose that leads us to take the scenic route. And that leads us to the things we love most about our lives.
For the more comical version, read “Must Punch Punk Kid in Face” http://wp.me/pxqBU-F5
Non-movie review movie reviews by a guy who likes weird movies. Plus a free lesson in demonology.
There are two kinds of people in the world, those who liked the movie Paranormal Activity, and those who liked (and actually saw) its current counterpart and competition, The Fourth Kind. I’ve yet to find a critic who thought they were both great movies. Paranormal Activity is the highly buzzed about, surprise blockbuster which has received mainly positive reviews from critics- an independent thriller filmed on a $15,000 budget.
Then there’s The Fourth Kind. A multi-million dollar movie that combines side-by-side glossy professional reenactments next to the “real” footage interviews of “real” people. And the critics aren’t impressed.
But I am.
Conveniently, my wife and I saw both movies over the weekend, back-to-back. I punch people in the face that give away movie endings or essential plotlines. So there’s no fear in reading this that I will do that. I also hate the clichéd term “spoiler alert” which is yet another reason not to give away anything good about these movies.
To truly explain why The Fourth Kind is so great, I first have to clarify why Paranormal Activity is so awful. Paranormal Activity is in essence a movie I saw 10 years ago; evidently enough time has passed that I should have forgotten about The Blair Witch Project by now. I can safely say that anyone who has seen one has seen the other.
The few minor scary moments are overshadowed by the overwhelming feeling I had as I left the theatre, thinking, “That was it? I could have made that myself. That was so pointless. What a waste of my time and money…”
Paranormal Activity seemed like a good idea: A night-vision camera films a couple as they sleep, as they hope to spot the demonic creature that haunts them (makes noises) at night. The thing is, the thought of anyone watching over another person in their sleep is creepy anyway. I know I wouldn’t want to watch what I do in my own sleep.
Ironically, besides the demon, the other creepy creatures watching over the couple in their sleep are the viewers in the movie theatre themselves.
If the movie is indeed scary, that’s all it’s got going for it: Watching people toss and turn in their sleep, waiting for a demon to show up and maybe stand over the girl, possibly whispering things in her ear.
The reason my wife and I decided to see the movie in the first place was because of friends who warned us, “Don’t go see it! It’s demonic. I’ve had nightmares since I’ve watched it…” After hearing that a few times, nothing could inspire us more to go watch it.
But after seeing Paranormal Activity, I am confident that The Wizard of Oz is freakier than this one. Flying monkeys win any day over an invisible demon banging on the walls downstairs in the living room.
Something I think is funny about Paranormal Activity is that it mixes the ideology of demons with zombies. From all accounts I’ve ever read concerning demon possession, a possessed person does not try to kill other people who aren’t possessed. They try to harm themselves, but not commit murder. Demons are looking for a place to dwell in, not a body to kill. That’s my take, based on what Jesus said in Matthew 12:
“Now when the unclean spirit goes out of a man, it passes through waterless places seeking rest, and does not find it. Then it says, ‘I will return to my house from which I came’; and when it comes, it finds it unoccupied, swept, and put in order. Then it goes and takes along with it seven other spirits more wicked than itself and they go in and live there… (43-45).”
I’ll put it this way, if a person’s idea of a good comedy TV show is Two and Half Men (which ratings prove that millions do), then there’s a good chance they would think Paranormal Activity is the epitome of horror movies.
And now for the underdog. The Fourth Kind focuses on the clients of Dr. Abigail Taylor, who hypnotizes her “alien abducted” clients into revealing the traumatic events that their minds are not allowing them to remember. They all have the same re-occurring nightmares and remnants of memories involving an owl that visits them in the night.
One of the most terrifying parts of this movie is when the abductees, under hypnosis, try to explain what happened to them. The terror on their faces says it all. And their screams.
The other part of this movie that really stands out to me is when one of the “alien’s” voices is recorded on a tape recorder. The language it speaks in is Sumerian (modern day Iran), which is one of the world’s oldest languages, dating back hundreds of years before Christ.
Interestingly, and this is one of the major reasons I’m fascinated by this movie, when they find a translator to decode what the “alien” said on the tape, the message is actually demonic: “I… am… God.” He also claims to be “savior”. What is misdiagnosed as alien abduction is actually demonic visits/possession.
Another hint of this demonic slant appears when one of the hypnotized abductees describes the re-occurring owl dream as “the ultimate feeling of hopelessness”. That’s a spiritual issue. Especially when combined the “alien’s” statements of ultimate deity.
I admit that if I wasn’t solid in my spiritual beliefs, this movie would keep me up at night (and possibly Paranormal Activity as well). The Bible makes it very clear that a person has put their trust in Jesus as their eternal hope, believing in Him to forgive them for their lifetime of spiritual debt, they will be inhabited by the Holy Spirit- therefore making it impossible for a demon spirit to dwell inside. The New Testament is full of stories about people who were possessed by demons, but none of them knew Jesus at that point.
And the biological half-brother of Jesus wrote in the book of James: “You believe that God is one. You do well; the demons also believe, and shudder. (2:19)”
In the Bible demons were cast out of people by using the name of Jesus and they shuddered at the fearful thought of him. I am inhabited by his Holy Spirit. So why in the world would I be afraid of a demon trying to inhabit me? It’s fascinating. It’s creepy. But I’m not worried it will happen to me.
There’s obviously spiritual warfare to deal with, but that’s a completely different story. That’s not possession; that’s moral combat.
The Fourth Kind is a meatball of sci-fi. It’s like putting all these things in a blender: Unsolved Mysteries, The X-Files, conversations with my Haitian dorm mate (who grew up in a village with witch doctors), LOST, Dateline, and the movie Insomnia.
It’s a pass/fail formula. For me, it works is because it was able to truly suspend my belief. It was completely entertaining. And at least for my wife and me, it was very thought provoking. Enough that we’re planning to see it again this weekend. I call it original, smart, truly frightening, sci-fi spiritual, trippy, and disturbing.
On the downside, I have trouble figuring out whether the acting is either really good or really bad. Plus it’s a movie that’s supposed to be about alien abduction but it’s really about demon possession and this is never addressed in the movie. And most importantly, I’m pretty sure the “real” footage is fake. But it doesn’t really bother me. Because this movie is effective, at least for the 15% of the critics who gave it positive reviews.
Aside from demons, something both Paranormal Activity and The Fourth Kind have in common is the lack of blood and violence. The secret to the scare of both of these thrillers is seeing terror through the victims. Not the beast itself. And that’s unusual in a movie genre crowded with slasher and torture films.
It all comes down to this question: What’s scarier? For a person to lose their life by a killer they can see, or to lose their soul by one that’s invisible?
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