dad from day one: A Baby’s Sixth Sense

Week 6.

It’s a sort of eery feeling getting up at 1:30 AM, 3:30 AM, and/or 5:30 AM every morning to feed and change Jack.  While it’s still dark and quiet, while I’m only “awake” enough to put the word in quotation marks, and while my memory barely records the routine actions taking place during the twilight, I’m sure I’m subconsciously looking for something out of the ordinary.  As I hold Jack in one arm and his bottle in the other, the dimly lit room casts a strange shadow on his face.  Sometimes when I look at him during this time I get a little creeped out.  In this situation he reminds me of a baby version of the Cowardly Lion in the Wizard of Oz (played by the Jewish actor Bert Lahr); that movie and the original Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory, though they are both wonderful classic movies, have always freaked me out a bit.  On a similar note, it also seems like I’m taking care of a little old man, with his receding hairstyle (Jack Nicholson style), his chubby cheeks, and his baby-version-of-cussing-somebody-out cries when he’s really hungry and his diaper is wet.

To make matters more theatrical, there are times when I am taking care of him during the middle of the night when it’s like he peeks around my shoulder and sees something and gets this calm yet curious look on his face. Does he see something?  A guardian angel?  Jesus?  Maybe the ghost of Bert Lahr?

I wouldn’t be surprised if babies can see into the spiritual realm.  It could make sense in a way; babies are completely innocent.  They are unaware of damning traps like pride and greed.  I could see how a baby is naturally closer to Heaven than we adults are.  Sometimes I envy the things my baby may be seeing.  But then again, it would be just another thing to spook me in the middle of the night. It seems every account I can immediately think of in the Bible where an angelic being spoke to a human, the angel always had to start the conversation out with “Do not be afraid…”  But Jack isn’t scared by whatever he is seeing around me that I am less aware; if he’s actually seeing anything supernatural at all.

Bert Lahr as The Cowardly Lion:

How to Wear All Black, If You’re a Guy

Now that you’ve mastered How to Wear Pink, If You’re a Guy, try something even more difficult: black.

Gone are the days of the 1950’s beat generation or the grunge scene of the ‘90’s where dressing in all black meant you were a cool in a mysterious and artistic way. Today if a guy dresses in all black it sends one of the following wrong messages to the world:

1)     “I have recorded my own album called ‘Rock Tyme Central’, featuring me on electric guitar, keyboards, vocals, and back up vocals.”

2)      “Every once in a while, I put my tongue ring back in just to keep the hole from closing up.”

3)     “I worship Satan.”

When choosing to wear a black collared shirt, whether it’s a polo or long sleeved button down, unless you’re wearing with it dark jeans, you’re making a risky move, because you must carefully plan everything else you wear with it.

And since black shirts don’t usually work well with khaki pants (just like you can’t wear brown shoes with black pants), you will ultimately end up wearing some form of black pants: dark gray, charcoal, or faded black.  So technically, that means you’re wearing all black.

But these days, the only way to wear all black if you’re a guy is to not literally wear all black, but instead, pay tribute to the idea.  To pull this off, you must incorporate a color accent, or distraction, against the uniform consistency of your “all black” attire.  Like a blue t-shirt underneath your black shirt that barely shows through.  Or a white belt.  Or really nice Diesel style shoes with color in them- but not regular sneakers.