Your brother loves you very much. And you love him just as much. But there is no doubt that at least half of the time, the two of you require a mediator, or referee, to help keep down the chaos level in our house.
And that role goes to me.
In addition to the two hour window between you both waking up and your brother getting on the bus, much of my energy goes to helping remind your brother to leave you alone.
His way of showing you that he loves you tends to include him tackling you with a pillow or conducting the rowdiest version of “Ring around the Rosey” I have ever seen.
Most of the time, his activities result in you laughing. But that does mean that sometimes, and I never know when, the result will be you crying instead.
I do my best to let the two of you naturally play together without my intervention; or prevention of destruction. Still, I feel like a referee, or at least a Quality Control Manager.
But there are definitely times where the two of you get along so easily, that I feel that things are a little too easy for me.
It’s a regular thing for you just to hang out next to Jack while the two of you eat snacks. Neither of you show any direct attention to each other. You’re both just content to be sitting next to each other.
So when you’re just chilling out together, my role is not so necessary. But the moment you both get up to go play in the living room, I always have to think to myself:
“Is this going to be a time where they quietly just play Legos together? Or is this going to be where they potentially break furniture?”
I assume it’s the norm these days for elementary schools to have some sort of faux-money merit system for their students. You often come home from school saying, “I earned some loot today!”
Based on last year in Kindergarten, as you spent it pretty much the moment you earned it, I figured you were doing the same this year; immediately spending it on erasers or bouncy balls or something.
But when you came home from school this Tuesday, you immediately announced to Mommy and me:
“I’ve got 100 loot now!”
You went on to explain there is a stuffed animal you were going to spend it on at the school store the next day.
And that’s exactly what you did.
Apparently, it’s not so common for most of the students in your class to save up 100 or more loot. But you did it!
So things were extra special when you were able to show us your new prize, and then on the same day, Mommy happened to receive some Pokemon-themed gifts from a co-worker who recently traveled to Japan.
You made it sound like that blue dog was the most expense thing you cared about in the school store. Now that you have obtained it, and you still have a few more months left of 1st grade, I wonder what will be the tangible motivation for saving up more loot.
Of course, the fundamental psychological part of this story is not that you got earned a stuffed animal at your school.
Instead, it’s that at your school, you have done a consistently great job of behaving and getting your work done.
The blue dog reinforces that fact. The blue dog serves as a trophy for you being a good citizen in your class.
I was definitely worried about Grandma’s timing in arriving at our home in Tennessee, as she was preparing to fly here from California.
Just a few days earlier, Mommy and I had to take you to the Emergency Room twice in the same day for your 106 degree temperature, as you were suffering from the flu.
My biggest concern is that Grandma would come all the way out here, only to not be exposed to our normal jolly little Holly.
Fortunately though, just as Grandma was coming in, your symptoms of the flu were on the way out.
I noticed right away how quickly you were drawn to her. Despite us only getting to see her about twice a year, you treated her as no stranger.
What really amazed me was on the 2nd day of her visit, you spent a solid two hours just chilling with her in the living room, playing with your toys. You never once needed Mommy or me.
I definitely noticed that you adopted a certain energy from Grandma. It was like a switch was turned on whenever you were around her.
You just wanted to show her what a sweet little playful granddaughter you are. It was as if you wanted to make sure Grandma got her money’s worth out of her cross-country trip.
Though you’re too young to process that Grandma is actually Mommy’s Mommy, it’s like somehow you already understand this.
You instinctively know that she is a very special person in your life. It helps that her personality perfectly compliments yours.
I am confident you could have spent all day with her on the living room floor, with just your plastic tea party set and a baby doll to serve as entertainment.
You typically are reserved around people you don’t see often.
I am taking a moment to deliberately freeze this moment in time; as if to keep you this age long enough for me to process the concept.
It is clear to me that you are in a transition between two different stages of boyhood.
You’re old enough to recognize that “Sesame Street is for babies”, yet you will happily watch it alongside your sister, while giving critical yet intelligent commentary on the plot line.
You’re old enough to finally stop spending all your birthday and Christmas money on stuffed animals, yet you genuinely celebrate receiving a new one as a gift.
You’re old enough to walk across the street to catch the bus every morning to school, yet you still can’t tie your own shoes.
Speaking of shoes, it’s as if you’ve still got one foot in the world of Young Boyhood but now have the other foot in the land of Middle Boyhood.
I feel like I’m even catching a glimpse of your early teen years, when it will no longer be cool to be seen in public with your dad.
I keep that in mind, even now, knowing there are times when I need to give you space; yet the very next day you may be very needy of my attention.
It’s obvious to me that you have gained a sense of your own identity at a much younger age than I did. I’m sure I’ve said it before, but I feel you’ve already formed the confidence in yourself that I didn’t gain until junior high.
Perhaps I feel that this is one of those fleeting stages in your life, where if I’m not careful, it will already be gone before I had a chance to acknowledge it.
So I’m acknowledging it.
Before too long, you’ll be openly mocking Elmo and tying your own shoes.
I feel like there’s this familiar cliche from family sitcoms of the 90s where the mother-in-law comes from out to town to visit, which inevitably yields 23 minutes of zany frustration for the husband and father of the household; accompanied by laugh tracks, of course.
Maybe that’s true for some men out there, I don’t know.
What I do know is I personally can not relate to this stereotype at all.
My wife and I have been married for nearly 10 years. I can honestly say that I have never once felt frustrated when my mother-in-law comes to visit or when we visit her in California. In fact, she has the opposite effect on me: I feel more relaxed with her around.
I assume I’m the typical American dad in that I am heavily involved not only with the kids, but also with the household chores. The only real free time I have is when everyone else is asleep.
During my waking hours, I’m either taking care of at least one kid or I’m helping clean up a mess. Because with young kids, there’s always a mess to be cleaned.
But when my mother-in-law is in town, I get a break from reality. I actually have pockets of time where I can do things like, you now… learn what it feels like to sit on my own couch for 5 minutes; thanks to my mother-in-law insisting on preparing dinner without my help, telling me, “Now Nick, sit down. I’m taking care of all this over here. You just take a seat and relax.”
This is all especially fresh on my mind, as my mother-in-law is currently staying with our family here here in Tennessee this week.
When the folks at Mazda heard about our special guest flying in from the West Coast, they dropped off a 2017 Mazda 6 Grand Touring with a full tank of gas, to make the week-long visit extra special.
It’s funny because despite only living about 40 miles south of Nashville, I only see that wondrous and trendy city a few times a year. But knowing we had a fancy car to get us there, we loaded up in the Mazda 6 and took our mother-in-law out for a magnificent lunch.
My wife suggested this cool Lebanese bistro called Epice.
Wow, seriously. It is now officially my favorite restaurant in all of Nashville. It was like being introduced to a whole new world of food. Not to mention, they were easily able to cater to me being a vegan.
The restaurant shares a parking lot with a very swanky “Nashvilley” shop called WhiteMercantile, which happens to be owned by Holly Williams; the daughter of Hank Williams, Jr.
I admit, the decor there was so cool, I took lots of pictures, made it into a collage, and debuted it as my new Facebook banner picture.
My mother-in-law just loved that store! Despite being born and raised in Oakland, California, she definitely has a fascination with the Southern motif.
After lunch, my wife and mother-in-law decided we would be stopping by an organic grocery store called The Turnip Truck; as it is soon to be a place frequented by Country Music stars.
Apparently, there were no celebrities there at the time, but at least I got a Mexican coffee out of the deal, and my daughter was able to enjoy one of her favorite snacks for the drive back home.
The next day on Saturday, my mother-in-law decided she wanted to take us out for dinner at our town’s official favorite restaurant, Viking Pizza Co. of Spring Hill.
Needless to say, it’s been a very enjoyable week for our entire family with my mother-in-law in town. Especially for me. I have enjoyed being able to remove myself just enough from the household chores, as my mother-in-law has assumed many of my roles this week, so though I could have some moments of sanity.
I don’t care what happened in 90s sitcoms. All I know is, I definitely like having my mother-in-law in town!
If you would like to learn more about the specifics of the 2017 Mazda 6 Grand Touring, check out another article I wrote; which as the title of it implies, will answer many of your immediate questions. Just click on the click below:
And don’t forget to catch up with me on The Lifetime Network’s “This Time Next Year” on February 20th, at 10 PM Central/9 PM Eastern; as I journey over the course of an entire year in attempt to find and meet my doppelganer!
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