parenting

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Dear Holly: Minnie Mouse is Your Best Friend and Elmo is Your Boyfriend

1 year, 9 months.

Dear Holly,

I guess I am learning that every Valentine’s Day at our house is like a “mini” Christmas morning. And speaking of Minnie, she was part of your gifts from Mommy and me:

Pilot Minnie, which includes a pink purse and a pink suitcase.

It is my assumption that little girls your age are equally obsessed with Minnie Mouse and Elmo, with the same mania that teenage girls went crazy over Elvis in the 1950s or The Beatles in the 1960s.

Here is how I perceive things with you right now:

It’s as if Minnie Mouse is your best friend and you want to be just like her. So it’s no surprise to me that yesterday, you clutched her tightly in your hand for both your morning nap and for bed at night. It was like a sleepover.

You just think Minnie Mouse is the coolest girl ever!

And as for Elmo, well… I’m starting to think he’s more than just a friend.

Each time I read you the Little Golden Book, Elmo Loves You, and finish the last page, with a big smile on your face, you lean down and kiss Elmo right on the face: “Mmmmmwhah!”

It’s not like anyone gave you this idea. You just immediately did this the first time, and every time, I have read you the book.

Mommy and I have learned to be careful about even saying Elmo’s name in front you. Because often when we do, you get caught in a trance:

“Elmo? Elmo. Elmo? Elmo! Elmo. Elmo. Elmo. Elmo!…”

At that point, I have to either give in, and take you upstairs and let you watch one of your Elmo DVDs, or I have to find a clever way to distract your train of thought.

So yeah, I convinced: Minnie Mouse is your best friend and Elmo is your boyfriend.

Love,

Daddy

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Dear Holly: I Serve as the Referee, or Quality Control Manager, between You and Your Brother

1 year, 9 months.

Dear Holly,

Your brother loves you very much. And you love him just as much. But there is no doubt that at least half of the time, the two of you require a mediator, or referee, to help keep down the chaos level in our house.

And that role goes to me.

In addition to the two hour window between you both waking up and your brother getting on the bus, much of my energy goes to helping remind your brother to leave you alone.

His way of showing you that he loves you tends to include him tackling you with a pillow or conducting the rowdiest version of “Ring around the Rosey” I have ever seen.

Most of the time, his activities result in you laughing. But that does mean that sometimes, and I never know when, the result will be you crying instead.

I do my best to let the two of you naturally play together without my intervention; or prevention of destruction. Still, I feel like a referee, or at least a Quality Control Manager.

But there are definitely times where the two of you get along so easily, that I feel that things are a little too easy for me.

It’s a regular thing for you just to hang out next to Jack while the two of you eat snacks. Neither of you show any direct attention to each other. You’re both just content to be sitting next to each other.

So when you’re just chilling out together, my role is not so necessary. But the moment you both get up to go play in the living room, I always have to think to myself:

“Is this going to be a time where they quietly just play Legos together? Or is this going to be where they potentially break furniture?”

I imagine this eventually gets easier for me.

Love,

Daddy

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Dear Jack: You Finally Saved (and Spent) 100 Loot at Your School

7 years, 2 months.

Dear Jack,

I assume it’s the norm these days for elementary schools to have some sort of faux-money merit system for their students. You often come home from school saying, “I earned some loot today!”

Based on last year in Kindergarten, as you spent it pretty much the moment you earned it, I figured you were doing the same this year; immediately spending it on erasers or bouncy balls or something.

But when you came home from school this Tuesday, you immediately announced to Mommy and me:
“I’ve got 100 loot now!”

You went on to explain there is a stuffed animal you were going to spend it on at the school store the next day.

And that’s exactly what you did.

Apparently, it’s not so common for most of the students in your class to save up 100 or more loot. But you did it!

So things were extra special when you were able to show us your new prize, and then on the same day, Mommy happened to receive some Pokemon-themed gifts from a co-worker who recently traveled to Japan.

You made it sound like that blue dog was the most expense thing you cared about in the school store. Now that you have obtained it, and you still have a few more months left of 1st grade, I wonder what will be the tangible motivation for saving up more loot.

Of course, the fundamental psychological part of this story is not that you got earned a stuffed animal at your school.

Instead, it’s that at your school, you have done a consistently great job of behaving and getting your work done.

The blue dog reinforces that fact. The blue dog serves as a trophy for you being a good citizen in your class.

I am very proud of you.

Love,

Daddy

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Dear Holly: You Really Loved Having Grandma in Town from California

1 year, 9 months.

Dear Holly,

I was definitely worried about Grandma’s timing in arriving at our home in Tennessee, as she was preparing to fly here from California.

Just a few days earlier, Mommy and I had to take you to the Emergency Room twice in the same day for your 106 degree temperature, as you were suffering from the flu.

My biggest concern is that Grandma would come all the way out here, only to not be exposed to our normal jolly little Holly.

Fortunately though, just as Grandma was coming in, your symptoms of the flu were on the way out.

I noticed right away how quickly you were drawn to her. Despite us only getting to see her about twice a year, you treated her as no stranger.

What really amazed me was on the 2nd day of her visit, you spent a solid two hours just chilling with her in the living room, playing with your toys. You never once needed Mommy or me.

I definitely noticed that you adopted a certain energy from Grandma. It was like a switch was turned on whenever you were around her.

You just wanted to show her what a sweet little playful granddaughter you are. It was as if you wanted to make sure Grandma got her money’s worth out of her cross-country trip.

Though you’re too young to process that Grandma is actually Mommy’s Mommy, it’s like somehow you already understand this.

You instinctively know that she is a very special person in your life. It helps that her personality perfectly compliments yours.

I am confident you could have spent all day with her on the living room floor, with just your plastic tea party set and a baby doll to serve as entertainment.

You typically are reserved around people you don’t see often.

Grandma is the exception.

Love,

Daddy

 

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Dear Jack: Let Me Just Savor You at This Age for a Moment, Age 7

7 years, 2 months.

Dear Jack,

I am taking a moment to deliberately freeze this moment in time; as if to keep you this age long enough for me to process the concept.

It is clear to me that you are in a transition between two different stages of boyhood.

You’re old enough to recognize that “Sesame Street is for babies”, yet you will happily watch it alongside your sister, while giving critical yet intelligent commentary on the plot line.

You’re old enough to finally stop spending all your birthday and Christmas money on stuffed animals, yet you genuinely celebrate receiving a new one as a gift.

You’re old enough to walk across the street to catch the bus every morning to school, yet you still can’t tie your own shoes.

Speaking of shoes, it’s as if you’ve still got one foot in the world of Young Boyhood but now have the other foot in the land of Middle Boyhood.

I feel like I’m even catching a glimpse of your early teen years, when it will no longer be cool to be seen in public with your dad.

I keep that in mind, even now, knowing there are times when I need to give you space; yet the very next day you may be very needy of my attention.

It’s obvious to me that you have gained a sense of your own identity at a much younger age than I did. I’m sure I’ve said it before, but I feel you’ve already formed the confidence in yourself that I didn’t gain until junior high.

Perhaps I feel that this is one of those fleeting stages in your life, where if I’m not careful, it will already be gone before I had a chance to acknowledge it.

So I’m acknowledging it.

Before too long, you’ll be openly mocking Elmo and tying your own shoes.

Love,

Daddy