parenting

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Dear Jack: You were Chosen as the 1st “Student of the Month” by Your Kindergarten Teacher (Despite My Parenting Style)

5 years, 9 months.

Dear Jack: You were Chosen as the 1st “Student of the Month” by Your Kindergarten Teacher (Despite My Parenting Style)

Dear Jack,

Mommy and I are proud of you anyway, but last Thursday, you came home from school and told us that your teacher chose you are the 1st boy “Student of the Month”.

That means your teacher saw something quite special about you and the girl in your class who were picked; based on you diligently doing your school work, participating in class, and being a positive influence on your friends.

At just 3 weeks into the school year, you had set enough of an impression on your teacher as the stand-out boy in class. Seriously, that’s a big deal!

Selfishly for me, it’s a confirmation for me that despite my imperfections as a parent in raising you, you’re still an intelligent, involved, and well-behaved little boy.

I have to admit that as your parent, you are technically a human experiment to me. You’re my first born. I will by default make more mistakes on you than your baby sister, who is nearly 5 and a half years younger.

Dear Jack: You were Chosen as the 1st “Student of the Month” by Your Kindergarten Teacher (Despite My Parenting Style)

When you were born, I was a much less experienced 29 year-old guy. Now, I’m a 35 year-old dad who has much more confidence as a parent.

It’s so important to me as your dad that I mold you into a well-balanced boy, and ultimately, a well-balanced young man.

Dear Jack: You were Chosen as the 1st “Student of the Month” by Your Kindergarten Teacher (Despite My Parenting Style)

This past weekend your Papa, Uncle Andrew, and I spent two mornings putting together the new trampoline Nonna bought for you and your Cousin Calla when you visit.

Finally, the time had come to try it out.

You and I played rough for a solid 20 minutes or so before I finally wore you out. I caused “earthquakes” (by jumping hard right next to where you were standing), I wrestled you, and I let you ride me like a bull.

That’s how I like to raise you. I like to show you unexpected adventure. I want you to be wild and crazy. I want you to be dangerous with me, yet hopefully not get injured too badly in the process. I want you to be… a boy.

And then I want you to return to school the next day and convince your teacher that you are still the best behaved and most involved boy in class.

So far, my plan is working.

Love,

Daddy

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Dear Holly: The Convenient Double-Standard for Average, Involved Dads

19 weeks.

Dear Holly: The Convenient Double-Standard for Good Dads

Dear Holly,

Last Friday I took off of work since your daycare was closed. While most of my day was spent changing your diapers, feeding you, and playing with you, we did get out of the house when we not only dropped off your brother Jack at school, but later went back to eat lunch with him there at the school cafeteria.

You had a wet diaper as we arrived at his school about 15 minutes early. I didn’t care enough to find the proper place to change you, as I didn’t want to tote your car seat and my book bag (with your diapers) with me, so I just changed  you right there on the bench I was sitting on; which was sort of hidden by the staircase above me.

Afterwards, I stood you up in my lap to face the oncoming students, teachers, and room moms. Of course they all made a point to smile back at you and tell me how beautiful you are.

A few minutes later, we saw your brother Jack leading the line. While carrying you, the car seat, and the book bag, I attempted to follow him in to help him get his lunch.

Mommy usually makes his lunch, but on Fridays, he buys the school lunch, because he can get vegetarian pizza that day. Unfortunately, they had just ran out of pizza and gave him a pork sandwich instead by the time I caught up to him.

Miraculously, his class’s room mom appeared and helped us negotiate a peanut butter and jelly sandwich instead; even though you had already paid for the pork sandwich.

We ended up sitting with the room mom and her daughter. She commented that she had seen me sort of struggling there with you as I had to find a place to change your diaper.

As we left after lunch, other moms and teachers bragged on me for simply showing up; even if my attempt was a bit awkward and unskilled.

That’s when I began to process to convenient double standard of the good dad:

I simply get praise and credit for just doing my job. Whereas for moms, they are simply expected to do those things.

Granted, the trade-off is that dads and husbands have been historically portrayed as idiots on commercials and sitcoms.

Maybe the ultimately irony is that less is expected of us dads because of the way we’ve been negatively portrayed in media, so that when we are caught “being a good dad”, it makes it seem that much more special, which it totally isn’t.

Love,

Daddy

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Dear Holly: Your Impractical yet Adorable Cowgirl Boots

19 weeks.

Dear Holly: Your Impractical yet Adorable Cowgirl Boots

Dear Holly,

Ever since Mommy finished your nursery months before you were born, I have had my eye on those cowgirl boots she placed in your top drawer.

Just the thought of a cute little baby girl who can’t walk or even crawl yet, but who is wearing cowgirl boots… I love it!

So finally, while we were at Nonna and Papa’s house for Labor Day Weekend, Mommy dressed you up in your cowgirl boots along with a new denim skirt. Your feet had grown enough now so that you fit in them.

It’s funny to me that despite that fact I’m the one who was born and raised in Alabama, it is actually Mommy who identifies more with the country motif and culture; even though she was born and raised in northern California.

She’s been a huge Country Music fan since high school. And she worked for CMT before I met her.

I can already imagine you as a preteen, wearing cowgirl boots with your dresses. When I see you now, I often see the baby version of Mommy. So in a way, it’s like I’m raising a baby cowgirl.

There is no doubt you are one happy little baby. Everyone notices this about you. You just love to smile.

But for me, the combination of your smile and those cowgirl boots is nearly too much!

With your Uncle Jake’s wedding coming up in a few weeks in San Diego, I am hoping your boots still fit by then. I want you to be able to get as much mileage as possible out of things.

Ultimately though, I wouldn’t be too surprised if we just always have a pair of cowgirl boots for you to grow into. I can’t imagine the thought of you not being Daddy’s potentially red-headed cowgirl.

Love,

Daddy

Dear Holly: Your Impractical yet Adorable Cowgirl Boots

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Dear Holly: Your Invisibility Cloak

18 weeks.

Dear Holly: Your Invisibility Cloak

Dear Holly,

Sunday afternoon after you woke up from your nap, I sloppily picked you up in your blanket, as it flopped over on top of your head.

I could tell you were in the mood to be walked around the house; looking out windows and at wall decorations. Obviously, the most interesting thing going on in our house is typically your brother Jack.

He was busy this time making a plane out of the couch, covered with his tent as well as blankets and pillows. He explained to me that the motor is the sword he made out of blocks.

Then he looked up and saw you: “Daddy, how can she even see with that blanket over her eyes?”

Dear Holly: Your Invisibility Cloak

I hadn’t noticed that the blanket had fallen from on top of your head into the form of a hood, leaving just enough room for you to see.

As I continued walking you around our house, I was surprised that you hadn’t made a peep; even though your diaper was wet, since you had just woken up from your nap.

But I wasn’t going to stop the show. If you were happy in your strange condition, I wouldn’t be the one to interfere.

By the time 30 minutes had passed, and you were still quiet and content under your homemade hood, I developed a likely theory:

You believed that the hood from the blanket made you invisible.

And I say this because I’ve never seen you go so long while in need of a diaper change, without making a sound. It was as if you felt if you did, it would expire your superpower of invisibility.

In the end, you went about an hour before finally choosing to expire your ability to be unseen by the rest of the world.

Love,

Daddy

Dear Holly: Your Invisibility Cloak

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Dear Jack: Our Ride on “Those Animals” at the Opry Mills Mall in Nashville

5 years, 9 months.

Dear Jack: Our Ride on “Those Animals” at the Opry Mills Mall in Nashville

Dear Jack,

After we saw the premiere of the movie Pup Star last Saturday, we decided to walk around the Opry Mills Mall since we were already there. With that mall being about an hour from our house in Spring Hill, it’s not a place we get to go to often.

Nearly immediately after leaving the theatre and entering the main hall of the mall, you and were pleasantly surprised yet confused to see smiling children riding these giant stuffed animals.

They reminded me of blurry memories I have from my first summer teaching English in Thailand back in 2004. I remember seeing something like this in the bottom floor of a mall, but I think it just rocked back and forth a little bit after you put in a coin.

What you and I saw, though… it was different. Kids were actually driving these animals like a motorized scooter or something, but the vehicles were completely quiet.

Within a few minutes, we had walked far enough in the mall for the mystery to be solved. We had discovered the station for Those Animals; a service that enables children 6 and older to drive electric scooters around the mall.

Since you are 3 months shy of your 6th birthday, I had to ride with you, but it was more fun I did. With a 500 pound weight limit on the vehicle, my 162 pound body wasn’t a threat.

You managed the throttle and I handled the steering. We made the perfect team!

Out of the dozen or so animals to choose from, you quickly chose the red and black dragon. Perhaps the most amazing thing about this experience is how affordable it was.

It only cost $6 for a 10 minute ride.

After we got home and told Mommy about it, we decided that we’re taking you back to Opry Mills Mall for your 6th birthday in November.

We’re going to tour the mall, giving you an allowance for Build-a-Bear and The Lego Store, as well as at The Rainforest Café where we’ll be having lunch.

And of course, I’m sure we’ll take another ride on one of Those Animals. Maybe this time, we’ll ride longer than 10 minutes.

Love,

Daddy

Dear Jack: Our Ride on “Those Animals” at the Opry Mills Mall in Nashville