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How We Paid Off Our Mortgage at Age 43

I will never forget this day in history: November 6th, 2024.

That’s the day my wife and I paid off our mortgage.

What you are about to read is the classic story of the underdog. We as a human civilization are naturally fascinated to see individuals overcome the odds placed against them and actually reach a seemingly impossible goal.

This is the story of how at age 43 (we were both born in 1981), my wife and I have now reached our goal of being not only debt-free, but also mortgage-free; despite the odds and despite remaining in the middle class.

To be clear, this is not a sexy story. We did not win the lottery. We did not inherit a million dollars. We did not invest in Bitcoin.

How we did it is the boring equivalent of someone you know losing 50 pounds and when they are asked how they lost the weight, they respond by saying they started exercising everyday, they reduced their daily calories, and increased their protein and fiber intake.

It’s not exciting to learn that people reached a challenging goal through hard work, dedication, and sacrifice… especially when it took years to get there.

Similarly, our underdog story is equally boring…

During my final year of college, my sister (who is 3 years younger than me) and I shared an apartment. The way our schedules lined up, when one of us was away at campus either in class or working, the other one would squeeze in an hour or two of playing Animal Crossings on the Nintendo GameCube back at our apartment.

In case you’re not familiar, the ultimate point of Animal Crossings is to work as efficiently as possible so that you pay off your mortgage.

(For the record, my sister ended up paying off hers before I did.)

As silly as it is, playing that video game for the course of my senior year of college fundamentally inspired me for my actual “real life” ahead. I was determined: I will be part of the rare minority of Americans to pay off my mortgage “early”; well before it was time to retire. (The average age to pay it off is 62.)

Despite the modern marketing attempts of banks and credit unions to convince me otherwise, the truth was obvious to me: “No. You are not like family and you are not my friend.”

But from the beginning, my strategy was not entangled with the idea of “getting rich first”. Instead, my plan would be to exploit the concept of maintaining a low overhead while finding ways to multiply my sources of income.

Fundamentally, the speedrunning aspect of paying off our mortgage early would focus on paying extra each month on the mortgage payments, so that it would pay off the principal of the loan quicker; preventing us from paying more in interest over the years.

Fortunately, I was naturally attracted to a woman who had the same intrinsic desire. As a team, we have worked together for many years to reach our goal; from the moment we got married. Because apparently, nothing is more romantic than mutually aspiring to be debt-free and mortgage free as a couple?

To be clear, our path to reach this goal was never easy. (Neither of us “came from money”.)  Instead, much of our 16 years of marriage has been riddled with financial setback after financial setback.

I remember years ago, seeing a meme that gave an honest visual of what the path to success actually looks like. It helped prepare my expectations.

We had to face the typical obstacles of the American middle class who happened to be Millennials: Paying off thousands in student debt, pay off thousands in wedding debt, buying our first home during the Financial Crisis of 2008 (which happened to be the year we got married), not making much money for the first decade of our professional careers, having children and having to pay for childcare while we both worked, etc.
The lowest, most difficult point in my life occurred in 2010, when my wife and I chose to leave behind our steady jobs and stable lives in Tennessee, to move to Alabama after we had our first child. Our hearts were in the right place, but we ended up living off our savings as we tried to find steady work while raising a newborn. We lasted 9 months before running out of money and having to move back to Tennessee; asking for our old jobs back.
And of course, our car broke down halfway through the drive back; which resulted in us having to buy a different car.
You can imagine: I wasn’t able to walk away from that point in my life without being forever hard-wired to never end up in a situation like that again. It “broke” me. (Pun intended.) The years that followed were just as tough, as we rebuilt everything back from nothing.
But I imagine I needed that humiliating and sobering time in my life in order to land here in this situation now, to be able to pay off my mortgage at 43.
This year, Dave Ramsey conducted a study of the top professions of people who become millionaires, known as The National Study of Millionaires. To confirm, we are not millionaires. But I do see an overlap with our careers:
We both technically fall into the categories of “teacher” and “management”: My wife has a Master’s in Early Childhood Development (though she never actually had a career in education) and I have a Bachelor’s Degree in English (I had originally planned to be a teacher as a profession). As for our actual careers, my wife is Chief of Staff (management) at a health care company and I am an Account Manager (HR/Recruiting) for a transportation company.
I think it is interesting that she and I both desired in our hearts to be teachers, getting our education in those fields, but we then ultimately landed in management roles.
Dave Ramsey’s National Study of Millionaires found the the most common theme among engineers, accountants, teachers, managers, and attorneys is that they all are required to operate as part of a system; living by a strict set of principles. So I can see how the path to becoming a millionaire is similar to first paying off your debts and mortgage.
Similarly, it is clear that Malcom Gladwell’s 6 Unexpected Outliers to Success play into this as well:
  • Opportunity.
  • Timing.
  • Upbringing.
  • Effort.
  • Meaningful work.
  • Legacy.

One that stands out to me from this list is Upbringing. One set of my grandparents were 1st generation Americans; meaning their own parents immigrated here from other countries. Specifically, I grew up up curiously observing my Papaw Metallo, who ultimately grew up in an orphanage in Kenosha, Wisconsin.

I watched him work an average job, live in a decent-sized home on a few acres, never buy a new vehicle, and he always had money in the bank.

Undoubtedly, his habits were adopted by my parents, and passed on to my sister and me. (Not only did my younger sister pay off her mortgage in Animal Crossings before I did, but she also did in real life a year and a half ago.)

I also see how Opportunity and Timing played into our ability to pay off our mortgage at age 43. Had the Covid Crisis of 2020 not happened, my wife and I would not have been able to start working remotely, allowing us to “cash in” by selling our Tennessee home (which doubled in value over the 9 years we lived there) and then move to Alabama again where the cost of living is much lower.

So I suppose I shall quote the 2004 rom com starring Brittany Murphy, Little Black Book: “Perhaps luck exists somewhere between the world of planning, the world of chance, and the peace that comes from knowing that you just can’t know it all.”

Undeniably, my wife and I have been (imperfectly) following the teachings of Dave Ramsey since 2008 when we got married; which eventually led to us becoming debt-free (other than our mortgage) five years later in 2013.

That means it took us 11 years to pay off our mortgage after becoming debt-free. It was around that time that I consumed the book, Rich Dad Poor Dad, by Robert Kiyosaki. From there, I became obsessed with creating “passive incomes” on the side; what most people know as “side hustles”.

I started two different YouTube channels, creating content exploiting topics that people were already searching for (men’s hair loss and DNA test results) as opposed to what I actually wanted to talk about.

I began using my blog (Family Friendly Daddy Blog) as a SEO platform to implant Amazon links; which generate commission for me when readers click on them.

My work as a blogger led to me becoming the official daddy blogger of Parents Magazine. During those 4 years, I was sent new vehicles to “review” each week, which included a full tank of gas. (This was officially ironic because we have never actually owned a new vehicle.)

I used my accidental knowledge of SEO to become an independent contractor for other businesses, in addition to my full-time job.

All of these side hustles generated hundreds of dollars each month; which ultimately went towards paying the principle of our mortgage. Admittedly, I still generate passive income from my YouTube channels and Amazon links, though it is much less than it was back in the years I needed it so badly.

So yes, certainly Effort has been important; going back to Malcom Gladwell’s 6 Unexpected Outliers to Success.

Something possibly surprising about this journey, from the very beginning, we have been committed to tithing and charitable giving: Even during our lowest financial point.

This is consistently taught throughout the Bible, as well as being continually endorsed by Dave Ramsey and Robert Kiyosaki, author of Rich Dad, Poor Dad.

As for the future, we shall continue our lifestyle of keeping a low overhead. The income that used to go to our mortgage will now being going towards investments and savings.

I also recognize that when you overcome a major obstacle, it requires you to recalibrate your process; as a new obstacle will present itself to replace the last one.

Without the constant burden of “must pay off mortgage” hanging over my life, what will I do with that space in my brain?

I refuse to see “work” as a negative thing that I am suppose to graduate from. I find ways to make the challenge of work exciting and rewarding. Work means that I continue to create and contribute; whether or not it means I am an employee of a company.

The thought of retirement is not exciting to me. I’m convinced that I’m that guy who if I stopped “working”, I would die a few months later.

Keep working. Keep creating. Keep living.

 

 

 

 

 

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5 Reasons Why Men Born in 1981 are Unapologetically Obsessed with Making Money, Saving Money, and Investing Money: The Firstborns of the Millennial Generation are Financially Woke!

Exactly 20 years ago, just a couple weeks away from my high school graduation, my plan for a career was quite humble:

To become a school teacher, to marry a school teacher, and to live in a small house in my small hometown.

That’s all I wanted. I specifically didn’t care about money. For those of us born in 1981, the firstborns of the Millennial Generation, we were led to believe that “money isn’t everything” and that “all you need is love”.

But by the time I began my career, I saw the world in a different light. And I imagine many other men who were born in 1981 also experienced the same culture shock, and therefore, a rewiring of how we perceive money.

What makes us this way? I have compiled 5 reasons why men born in 1981 are so much more woke when it comes to personal finances. Consider this to be my comic book villain origin story:

1.      The average American man gets married at age 27; which for those of us born in 1981, coincided with the Financial Crisis of 2008. Needless to say, I got married just a few months before the recession hit.

2.      Most of us attended college compared to previous generations, which meant more competition in the work force in addition to starting out our careers with heavy student loans.

3.      We were told we would be the first generation to actually make less money than our own parents; who themselves didn’t necessarily need to graduate college like we did in order to be successful in our careers.

4.      It is common knowledge that there should be no expectations for my generation to actually get social security when we retire.

5.      Thanks to the Internet, we have so many opportunities to have multiple online side hustles; to add passive income in addition to our salaries from our full time jobs.

Both at my office as well as my online persona as a YouTuber, I am referred to as Slick Nick.

If you know me at all, you know I am a person who is unapologetically fixated on making money, saving money, and investing money:

In addition to my full time job at a Fortune 500 Company, I also handle my 5 online side hustles: running two YouTube channels, managing the SEO for a majority university here in Nashville, plus selling guest blog spots and planting Amazon links here on my website.

As opposed to the excess culture of the 1980s and 1990s as people went in debt to impress people they didn’t care about by buying McMansions and brand-new luxury cars, I am from a generation where the goal is to impress people by how much money we save and invest; not how much we spend.

I feel like men from my generation will be like those who survived the Great Depression. We will spend our lives finding ways to independently fund our own retirements; assuming there will be no social security left for us.

If we’re lucky, we’re wrong. But if we’re wrong, we just might be rich.

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A Paid-Off Car with High Miles, Not a Brand-New Car with Payments, is a New, Unspoken American Status Symbol

I noticed that back a few years ago, when I lived on the edge of Nashville, where income levels were lower than where I live now in my commuter town, that it was the norm to see so many fellow commuters driving luxury cars, on every side of me… which were obviously leased. Compare that to where I live now- people make more money, but drive older cars; not many Mercedes’ to be seen.

Owning a brand-new car is not worth celebrating, unless the person paid cash for it. Otherwise, the person is paying more money for something they couldn’t afford in the first place.

Imagine the irony: A person doesn’t have enough money to buy the product, so they agree to pay even more of the money they don’t have in the first place- in interest.

The Eighties and Nineties are long gone. No longer can we pretend we are doing financially well because of the false status symbols bought with credit. That mentality ended with the Financial Crisis of 2008; which happened to be the year I got married.

I believe our culture is now realizing that the new status symbol is being able to afford more, but choosing to save and invest that money instead.

If anything, the new status symbol is to be able to brag on how little money you paid for a product, not to allow others to believe you spent more. The new status symbol is being able to figure ways to save money and make money on the side, then share that info with everyone else. That has value.

We are living in the aftermath of the Financial Crisis of 2008. My generation is becoming the new version of those who lived through the Great Depression.

Being frugal and in full control of your finances is the ideal; not necessarily making a lot of money, only to continue to struggle to pay the bills and live in debt. Now it’s all about low overhead and living well within your means.

This month makes exactly 13 lucky years that I’ve owned my 2004 Honda Element, with 170,000 miles and a salvaged title; making it worth only about $500. Two years ago, it came within about $25 shy of being totaled, when an albino dear ran into my driver’s side door and wheel. (True story!)

But the way I see it, that car is worth a whole lot more than what I could sell it for.

It’s funny how typically, when a person “buys” a new car, the typical reaction is to be happy for them: “Oh wow! I like your new car! I wish I had something nice and shiny like that!”

When I overhear a conversation like that, I always privately think, “But yeah, now they have to be making monthly payments for the next few years, coupled with the insurance payments that accompany a new car…”

And it’s even worse if the car is leased, because there’s no chance of making any profit when the lease is done; in fact, you may end up having to pay more money if you drove too many miles or caused damage to the car.

So yeah, I am proud to drive my 2004 Honda Element. It’s a bit rusty and my kids complain about having to ride in it because, “It’s so old!”

But hey, it runs and it’s been paid off well over a decade.

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At Age 37, My Wife and I Have Begun Investing Our Money, Thanks to Charles Schwab

At age 37, I am fully aware that I am now at the halfway point of the average American lifespan. I suppose this is literally the most appropriate time to have my midlife crisis.

Finally, I can trade in my old paid-off Honda Element for a brand-new Jeep Wrangler, take a spur of the moment trip to Spain, and start training for American Ninja Warrior…

But instead, I am focusing all that energy into planning for the 2nd half of my life- and my wife’s, as well as our children’s future.

My wife and I got married 10 and a half years ago, right in the middle of the 2008 Financial Crisis.

The first half of our marriage was spent building our careers from entry level positions and trying to manage the tens of thousands of dollars of debt we were in; largely due to college loans and our wedding.

The most recent half of our marriage began with us finally becoming debt-free in 2013, buying the last steal-of-a-deal new home in the Nashville area, and both finding ourselves far enough into our careers and side hustles that we started making a comfortable living.

But as Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs pyramid explains, your goals and motivations evolve as you overcome your previous more basic needs and desires.

Now the focus is… how to invest our steady stream of income into our future.

I thought it was as simple as just paying off our house, then worrying about retirement afterwards.

However, my wife has been listening to the Moneywise program on Moody Radio on the way home from work each day. She explained to me that based on our interest rate on our home, it would actually be a better investment of our money to start building our retirement now, alongside paying off our mortgage early.

My wife then set us up an appointment with Charles Schwab financial investment company, which she had been hearing endorsed on Moneywise.

Today was the big day.

Our financial advisor helped us rollover my 401K from my previous employer to traditional IRA and select a portfolio for it. She also gave us direction on determining our financial goals so we could better plan our retirement and our kids’ college funds.

This was a major milestone for us. Here’s to the second half of life!

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Dear Jack: What Happens When You Give $100 to a 5 Year-Old Boy for His Birthday?

5 years.

Dear Jack,

We just got back from your “destination birthday party” in Destin, Florida. Instead of having a party back home in Tennessee, the 3 of us (technically 4, if you count Baby Holly or Logan in the womb) decided to take a family vacation to celebrate your 5th birthday. To make things extra special for you, Lexus let us drive a Lexus GX for the trip!

Dear Jack: What Happens When You Give $100 to a 5 Year-Old Boy for His Birthday?

Over the next week or so, I’ll be writing plenty more about your destination birthday party. But as for today, I should mention one of the overall themes our 4 ½ day vacation.

As we were leaving Tennessee, I Instagrammed a picture of you with the stuffed animals you chose to bring on the trip.

Jack is bringing a few of his friends along for the ride.

          Jack is bringing a few of his friends along for the ride.

In the likeness of the 1985 movie Brewster’s Millions, you felt the need to spend all $100’s worth of your gift cards you received as birthday presents before we left Florida.

Mommy and I put the additional cash and checks that you received into your savings account, but as the $100 in gift cards, we decided it was fair to let you manage how it was spent.

After all, it was your birthday party and birthday weekend. Mommy and I wanted it to truly be a big deal to you.

So as soon as we arrived in Destin, we stopped at a Barnes & Noble where you spent your first $15; on a “Shark Week” shark.

I Instagrammed that event as well:

And the beginning of the birthday money spending begins...

 And the beginning of the birthday money spending begins…

We took you to Target to let you possibly spend some of your remaining $85. While Mommy looked around for stuff she needed, I hung out with you for nearly an hour in the toy aisle; serving as your budget manager.

I helped explain to you how much things cost and how much remaining birthday money you would have if you bought that item.

For example, you were interested in a Power Ranger gun that you had seen on their show… but it cost $27!

You ended up buying a $13 Play-Doh ice cream shop. And boy did you have fun with that once we got back to the resort!

However, that was the only item you spent your $100 on that wasn’t a stuffed animal.

You later bought a baby shark while we were on the dolphin cruise. And then a baby penguin when we visited the Gulfarium. Then several more stuffed animals throughout the course of our trip…

Of course, we reminded you that you didn’t have to spend all $100 on the trip. But again, it was your birthday, so we wanted it to be your decision on how you spent the money; since it wasn’t cash that Mommy and I would have put in your savings account without you knowing it.

Dear Jack: What Happens When You Give $100 to a 5 Year-Old Boy for His Birthday?

We reminded you had enough money to buy anything at all you wanted… even a brand-new bike!

However, the reality of it is that as a 5 year-old boy whose parents both work full time, there’s not a lot of time for you to ride your bike; especially since how weekends are often filled with running errands, like buying groceries and getting maintenance done on our cars.

When I considered which toys you actually spend the most time playing with, it’s not the plastic ones so much.

Dear Jack: What Happens When You Give $100 to a 5 Year-Old Boy for His Birthday?

Granted, you love building Legos and you love your massive Hot Wheels and Thomas the Train collections… but ultimately, your exhaustive stuffed animal collection gets the most play time.

Every morning when we get ready for school, you always choose 2 animals to take to school with you.

I get it. You don’t see them as toys, but as real animals that you enjoy taking care of. You love pretend that they are babies that you are in charge of.

Granted, that concept goes well with the fact you have a baby brother or sister on the way…

I recognize these stuffed animals serve as tools for your psychological and social development. They’re much more than just stuffed animals.

Dear Jack: What Happens When You Give $100 to a 5 Year-Old Boy for His Birthday?

So it doesn’t bother me that you spent $100 on stuffed animals (and a Play-Doh set) during your destination birthday party. I’m all for it.

I’m for whatever toys are going to help your development as a little boy. You spent most of your $100 on stuffed animals because in your currency, they hold more value than any other kind of toy.

Ultimately, a decade from now, it’s all the same anyway. Looking back, I’ll know that whether you spent your birthday money on stuffed animals or Power Rangers or Ninja Turtles, it made you happy as a boy on 5th birthday.

And that’s all that matters to me.

Love,

Daddy