Are there any Jews in Home Improvement? I don’t think so, Tim.
Did you know that May is officially Jewish American Heritage Month? On April 20th, 2006 (my 25th birthday), President George W. Bush proclaimed that the month of May would be Jewish American Heritage Month from then on. So this year for the 5th ever Jewish American Heritage month, I’ve decided to highlight America’s least Jewish sitcom ever, in order to contrast just how much Jewish people have affected our cherished American entertainment.
Obviously, the most Jewish American sitcom is Seinfeld. And Second Place goes to Friends. But on the opposite side of the spectrum, one might expect the least Jewish American to be an African-American sitcom- like The Cosby Show. But of course, Lisa Bonet (who played Denise Huxtable) is half Jewish. Coincidentally, she was briefly married to Lenny Kravitz, who is also half Jewish and half black. Even more coincidental is the fact that Lenny Kravitz’s mother is Roxie Roker, who played Helen Willis on the sitcom The Jeffersons, who in the show was married to a white man, just like she was in real life (to a Russian Jew, Lenny’s father).
But other popular African-American sitcoms were still largely created and carried out by Jews. Like Family Matters: no Jewish actors, but the show’s producers were: Thomas L. Miller and Robert L. Boyett. Not to mention the fact that Family Matters was a spin-off of Perfect Strangers, a sitcom about two unlikely roommates and cousins, who in real life are Jewish. So even if none of the actors in a sitcom are Jewish, you still have to consider the producers, the writers, and even the origin of the sitcom.
After much exhaustive research, I have discovered that the most watched yet least Jewish sitcom was definitely Home Improvement (1991-1999). None of the actors were Jewish. Not Tim Allen (nothing about him is Jewish), not Jonathan Taylor Thomas who played Randy (physically he could almost pass as a Jew), not Taran Noah Smith who played Mark (Jewish sounding first and middle name), not Earl Hindman who played Wilson, nor Richard Karn who played Al. The main creators/writers were not Jewish. Home Improvement was not a spin-off of a Jewish influenced show.
There was a close call, however, in the casting of Tim’s Tool Time co-host. Originally, there was no “Al Boreland”, but instead, “Glen”, played by Stephen Tobolowsky, who was definitely Jewish. But his prior commitments caused him to lose out on the role. Sure there were special guest stars that were Jewish, like Rodney Dangerfield and Penn & Teller (Teller, not Penn, is Jewish). And Brad’s character briefly dated a character named Jessica Lutz (assumed Jewish because of the last name), though played by non-Jewish actress Michelle Williams. Lastly, one of the executive producers was Jewish; Elliot Shoenman, but he was only there from seasons 4 through 8.
But if it’s that much trouble to point out any Jewish influences on a sitcom as popular as Home Improvement, then I see no way around it: Home Improvement is the most popular least Jewish sitcom ever. And making that discovery is one of the ways I can help celebrate Jewish American Heritage Month. I’ll leave it to all the other bloggers to point out the more obvious, influential Jewish Americans like Albert Einstein and Mark Zuckerburg. As for me, I’m here to focus on the petty stuff.
Below are some more exciting and entertaining posts I have written about Jewish entertainers:
Whether He is Lord, lunatic, or liar, Jesus Christ is still one miraculous (living) legend.
Depending on how you look at it, Christianity is either A) a hokey cult which spun off of Judaism over 2,000 years ago based on a false prophet who was not actually born of a virgin, or B) the continuation of Judaism which is mainly embraced by those who are not actually Jewish, but instead, as the Apostle Paul put it, “grafted in the vine”.
If it weren’t for Jesus raising from the dead three days after His death or at least people believing that He did, then Protestants, Catholics, and Eastern (Orthodox) Christians worldwide would have a completely different religion all together. Without Jesus actually being the prophesied Messiah of the Old Testament, there would simply be no Christ in Christianity. We would still have the Old Testament, though. And we would still be waiting for the actual Messiah to show up.
What if Jesus really wasn’t the Messiah? Even if He was simply a fictional character who either never existed or was simply a liar, Jesus would still be the most miraculous man to ever walk this Earth. Why? Because today, nearly 2 billion of the world’s 7 billion population identify themselves with some form of Christianity. According to Wikipedia, Christianity is still the most popular religion of the world, and that’s not even counting the millions in “underground churches” in places like China. In other words, it would be simply miraculous that a man who never actually raised from the dead could influence so many millions of people for more than two millennia. It would be a deceptive and tragic miracle, but still it would be a miracle.
Imagine what an impressive hoax that Christianity would be if Jesus was in deed not the Messiah, and most relevantly, if He simply died like any other Jewish man and never came back to life. Imagine what a miracle Jesus performed if He never even was who He said He was. I would have the say that Christianity, in that case, would be the biggest waste of time and energy in the history of the world.
Least importantly would be the question proposed in the title: If Jesus never in deed rose from the dead, would we Christians be Jewish instead?
What religion would Americans and Europeans have accepted, if not Christianity? In the event that the Messiah truly has not arrived yet, would the same Judeo-Christian God be the God we would have embraced, along with the practices of Judaism? Who would we worship instead? Or what would we worship instead?
Without Jesus actually being the Son of God who conquered death and paid for the sins of mankind by dying on the cross, then raising from the dead, it not only means we are without an eternal hope of salvation- it means a lot of people, for over 2,000 years, have been serving a false, yet still miraculous god.
I am not a comic book nerd. Instead, I am simply an American who is well aware of our nation’s love and fascination of super heroes. So why are we so obsessed with men who fly around with their underwear outside their clothes, while pretending to be an insect or animal? Why do their movies make hundreds of millions, thanks to both kids and adults alike? Because super heroes reflect us normal human beings: inside and out.
Here’s what you need to know (and probably already subconsciously know) about super heroes.
1- They save good people from bad people.
2- They have a mysterious and troubled past.
3- They have super powers, skills, abilities, or insight.
4- They sometimes struggle with discerning good from evil, as they realize they are in some ways evil themselves.
5- They have at least one major arch nemesis.
6- They wear some sort of costume.
7- They have an alter ego; or at least a side of them they hide from most people.
8- They find it difficult to have meaningful relationships and friendships with others. (If nothing else, their schedule does not allow for it.)
9- They have a debilitating weakness.
10- They were created by Jewish writers. (Spiderman, Superman, Batman, Iron Man, The Hulk, Wonder Woman, LOST, Dexter, and even the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles… It’s pretty difficult to find an exception.)
Maybe it seems a bit of a stretch to consider the characters of LOST as super heroes, but several of them had mysterious powers (at least on the island), they helped each other survive, and they all had some kind of trouble in their past that not only defined them but also that continued to be a struggle. And while that does make for good development on the show, it also is a concept that most of us can relate to. It’s not just the obvious “are they are good guy or a bad guy?” characters like Ben Linus and Sayid Jarrah who struggled with their own consciouses and gray area moral dilemmas. Even seemingly innocent characters like Sun Kwon had a hidden (but shady) alter ego.
This dichotomy of man, the “man has two sides” concept, is also very obvious in the Showtime series Dexter. Yes, he is a serial killer. But Dexter only tracks down and kills serial killers and rapists (though he eventually kills a few innocent victims by mistake). Admittedly, I myself never killed anyone, yet I relate to the show deeply. I’ve even read that males, in particular, live with a constant struggle of feeling inadequate- like an imposter who is about to be found out for who they really are. Aside from any basic religious aspects, at some point in life we end up asking and answering the question, “Am I ultimately a good person or a bad person?”
Are we simply adding to the noise? And for those who do realize that they are ultimately more bad then they are good, are they willing to change, or will they simply accept whatever eternal fate that may befall them? The concept of good versus evil is one we are subconsciously obsessed with. It’s true: We as humans are both good and bad. The same person who steals your credit card information today may thoughtlessly save life a stranger’s life tomorrow. We are both saints and sinners; but it’s ultimately the identity which we allow to consume us that is our true identity.
So it makes sense that we relate the idea of having an alter ego. We display a different version of ourselves at work for 8 hours or more each day. We have to, in order to survive in that environment. We all must have “tweakable” perspectives and personalities. You can’t treat your child the same way your treat your boss. You can’t reveal the same vulnerability to coworker as you must to your spouse.
We know we are supposed to just be ourselves and never really hide who we truly are. But that’s simply not reality. In a sense, the reality is that we are ultimately all super heroes with alter egos… Unless you are one of the true villains of the world.
Seems like a strange pair, but we born-again Christians love our movies and TV just as much as everyone else. But where do we draw the line?
One of my favorite TV shows during 4th and 5th grade was surprisingly The Dick Van Dyke Show as it was featured in syndication on Nick at Nite. It was while watching that show (I was around 9 or 10) that it occurred to me, “Dick Van Dyke is kissing Mary Tyler Moore, but in real life, they may both be married to someone else who has to watch them kiss another person.” To me, that would just be too weird… and wrong. As much I fantasize about being an actor in a flash-sideways version of my life in some alternate path I could have chosen for myself a decade ago, I have to acknowledge that as a born-again Christian, there would be an exhaustive list of limitations for me as a legitimate actor. (Granted, Kirk Cameron got around the “have to kiss another woman” dilemma when he used his own wife as a stand-in at the end of the movie Fireproof.)
That’s not to say that there aren’t born-again Christians who act in mainstream media. For example, there’s the often-mistaken-as-a-Jew-but-actually-just-Welsh-American actor Zachary Levi, who is the protagonist of the hit show Chuck. He has been outspoken about his relationship with Jesus Christ. Click here to see what he said in one of his interviews with Relevant magazine. I am fascinated by his Hollywood success and his commitment to his faith. I would love to ask him about this very topic today; specifically this question, “As a Christian, what won’t you do in a role?” (Zachary Levi, if you’re reading this, feel free to comment and help me out. Thanks.)
Where does a Christian draw the line when it comes to acting? I would say kissing another person on stage is harmless except when either or both of them is married. And what about “love scenes” (scenes that involve sexual activity, with or without nudity)? What about profanity? Are there any words you just shouldn’t say? Personally, I could easily curse on camera before I could say, “oh my God”; because to use God’s name in vain is breaking one of the Ten Commandments, while cursing is simply a fading taboo of shifting rules set by the expectations of culture. To me, there are plenty far more destructive ways that words can be used that go against the Kingdom of God, like gossip, malicious sarcasm, and belittling.
Here’s where it gets really tricky. If you think it’s wrong to curse in a role or play a character who has premarital sex, how is that so different from playing a character who is a murderer? At least by playing a killer, you’re truly just pretending to play a character who is obviously in the wrong. But by being filmed semi-nude under covers in a bed, you’re sending a subconscious message that sex between two consenting adults doesn’t necessarily have any spiritual concerns attached to it.
So in theory, in 1983, as a born-again Christian, if given the opportunity to have Al Pacino’s lead role in Scarface, would I, should I, could I? For it’s time, the movie Scarface contained more profanity than any other film in history. It was originally rated NC-17 for its violent content. But in the end, (sorry if you haven’t seen the movie but you’ve had 28 years to see it so I feel okay about giving away the ending) all of Scarface’s sins find him out. It’s obvious that his life of violent crime led to his own demise and in the end, it wasn’t worth it. Does that mean that this movie teaches its viewers not to waste their lives in a mob, getting involved with violence and cocaine? In theory, yes. In theory, it has positive, redeeming value because in the end, crime doesn’t pay.
That’s something I’ve observed about Christian culture. It seems most Christians are okay with a character doing obviously un-Christian things if in the end they repent: Unlike the character of Stacy Hamilton, played by Jewish actress Jennifer Jason Leigh in the 1982 movie Fast Times at Ridgemont High, who decides to have an abortion and seemingly goes on to live a completely normal life, never regretting her decision. I contrast that to the song “Red Ragtop” by Tim McGraw, whether the 20 year-old protagonist gets his 18 year-old girlfriend pregnant and together they decide to have an abortion.
However, by the end of the song, though it’s not explicitly stated, the melancholy mood and subtle lyrics of the song itself convey the message “we can’t undo what we’ve done or beat ourselves up over it, but we do regret and it’s definitely a sad thing that happened”. Rightly assuming that Country music fans are mostly Christians (simple demographics), they helped the song rise to the #2 position on the Country charts.
Entertain this thought: Ask yourself privately, as a Christian, whether or not you would play the role of a character in a play, musical, TV show, or movie who would do any of the following things:
-use minor profanity
-use stronger profanity including racial or gender slurs, up to the “f-word”
-use God’s name in vain, whether it’s by saying “oh my God” or “G.D.”
-play a character who has premarital sex and never encounters any real negative consequences
-play a gay character who never actually kisses another actor
-play a gay character who does kiss another person of the same gender
-play a heterosexual character who jokingly kisses a person of the same gender on the lips, which happens quite often on Saturday Night Live
-play a serial killer and rapist, though no explicit violence is ever shown on screen and who never curses or participates in any pre-material sexual relationship
-play a serial killer and rapist, though no explicit violence is ever shown on screen and but does participate in some premarital sex and who does some cursing
-play a serial killer and rapist, though no explicit violence is ever shown on screen and but does participate in some premarital sex and who does some cursing, but at the end accepts Jesus Christ as their Savior and from that point on lives a life in accordance to the teachings of Jesus
How is it any more wrong to play a homosexual actor than it is to play heterosexual actor who has premarital sex? Though both situations are perceived much differently by the general population, when it comes to my understanding of the Bible’s teaching of righteousness, I don’t see how one is any different or worse than the other. The way I understand it, Jesus died for all sin. Sin is sin is sin. No matter what kind it is, it separates us from God and causes every single one of us to need His grace.
Where do you draw the line as a Christian actor? Obviously to be involved in straight-up porno-graphy is out of the question for any sincere Christian. But there are so many millionths of the scale to get to that extreme. On the much slighter end of the scale is a man with his shirt off showing off his six-pack while he rides a horse bareback. Further down the scale is that same man passionately kissing a woman while in a hot tub, both in their swimsuits. Next is the same man and woman acting out a love scene in bed and though they are actually naked, they aren’t acting having sex underneath the blankets which strategically cover up certain parts of their bodies.
I remind myself that outside the culture of conservative Christianity, in reality the rest of the world behaves its own way regardless of our censorship. To imagine a real life group of people who in their everyday lives never cursed or had premarital sex (outside of the conservative Christian world) is to me, simply unbelievable. Taking away the elements of entertainment that are unChristian-like either makes the TV show or movie either A) unrealistic or B) a Christian movie like Facing the Giants.
I also remind myself that the Bible itself is full of violence, premarital sex, rape, and murder. There is homosexuality. There are concubines. There are instances were people cursed (like when Peter denied Christ). The King James Version of the Bible even contains the words “piss” and “ass”. If the entire Bible were made into an epic movie, could born-again Christians play every role?
But some point, acting is no longer simply just acting. It’s doing. So here’s my final thought about all this. In some technical, annoying way, are we as conservative, born-again Christians actually hypocrites for being spectators of popular entertainment?
Imagine this: Instead of the majority of the cast of Friends and Seinfeld being Jewish, instead they were all born-again Christians. Because of their faith-based convictions, none of them were willing to use any profanity or be involved in any situations that involved premarital sex. I know how beloved these two sitcoms are among the majority of Christians I know. But imagine a world where Ross Geller saying “We were on a break!” meant nothing to us.
Two Questions for You about This Today:
A) As much as we Christians love our sitcoms and movies, would they truly exist if we didn’t support them with our viewership because we ourselves wouldn’t be willing to play those roles the same way?
B) Where would you personally draw the line in regards to what you would or would not do for an acting role, hypothetically speaking, if you were an actor?
I sincerely would love to hear feedback from you, the invisible reader, on either or both of these proposed questions, by leaving a comment below. You don’t have to leave your name; you can easily remain anonymous if you wish.
If you’re not a conservative, born-again Christian, still free to answer as well… and please know how aware I am that the content of this entire post probably seems a bit… out there. For all I know, you may find it either laughable or offensive that we believe premarital sex is wrong or that kissing someone’s spouse is both weird and taboo. But what good is a religion that has no backbone or reasonable standards, despite how counter-culture those limitations may be? Thanks for reading despite the culture shock of it.
It was less than a week ago that I realized something both bloggers and stand up comedians have in common is that in order to be good at what they do, they have to be narcissistic. When that happened, I realized A) I am narcissistic and B) I should fantasize about being a stand up comic. I am narcissistic- no doubt about it. But that doesn’t mean that I think I’m better than anyone, because I can assure you that’s not the case. I’m very aware of my shortcomings and faults. It’s just that like any obsessive Twitter user, I am also very aware of myself and my own life.
So leave it to a self-proclaimed narcissist to not only publish their first stand up comedy routine, but now their second one today. I’ve opened this can of Pandora’s box of ironic observations and now I don’t think I can stop. I may have created a new blog series that you’ll eventually see at the top of this screen in big bold letters. See, that may my friends, is what being narcissistic is truly all about. My apologies to those of you who have already read dad from day one: Mommy’s Little Monster, since that accounts for a decent amount of material here. Since delivery is a very important of actually being funny, note that for the duration of this post, when you see a set of ellipses points (like this…), that symbolizes the short and necessary pause for the audience to have a chance to laugh.
Announcer: Ladies and gentleman, will you please give a warm welcome to Nick Shell!
[applause]
“Alright, thanks everybody. So I guess some of you tonight were invited by a friend who when they told you about me said, ‘He’s a Christian comedian. You know, he does clean comedy.’ For those of you who have never seen a ‘clean, Christian comedian’ you may be thinking, ‘Ah, great. He’s just going to be doing fart jokes the whole time.’ But I promise you now: No fart jokes… Oh, wait… unless that counts as one.
Have you ever met someone who constantly inserts trivial facts into everyday conversation? Do you know somebody like that? Well, now you do… because I’m one of those magically annoying people.
I keep waiting for a chance for my super powers to come in handy in a practical way. Really, I think the best thing that could happen is that I could be a guest on a game snow… like ‘Name That Jew!’ You’d have to be the first contestant to hit the buzzer and yell out the name of the Jewish actors or actresses in sitcoms. And it’s hosted by Alan Thicke.
Alan Thicke: In my own sitcom, Growing Pains, name that Jew!
I buzz in, instantly… ‘Jeremy Miller who played Ben Seaver!’
That is cor-rect… Next, in the coming of age comedy/drama The Wonder Years, name that Jew!
(Again, I’m the first one buzzing in…)
‘Fred Savage who played Kevin Arnold, Jason Hervey who played Wayne Arnold, Josh Saviano who played Paul Pfeiffer- he was half Jewish, David Schwimmer who played Michael- Karen’s boyfriend and eventually her husband, Ben Stein who played Kevin’s science teacher Mr. Cantwell, and lastly, Daniel Stern who narrated the show as Kevin as an adult.’
Correct again…
(And with getting that question alone I’m like automatically promised to make it to the final round. So I make it to the final question…)
In the #1 sitcom of the 1980’s, The Cosby Show, which featured an African-American family, name that Jew!
Of course, without hesitation, I buzz in right away: ‘Lisa Bonet, who was half-Jewish, played Denise Huxtable’
Alan Thicke: Congratulations! You have won! You and guest will be enjoying a wonderful 6 day, 7 night stay in the legendary city of Jerusalem, Israel where you will enjoy a complimentary gourmet kosher breakfast each morning…
Yeah, so I think that scenario is the best it could ever get for me being able to utilize my useless information. Until then, I’ll just keep walking around like Rain Man: Got to watch Full House… Full House comes on at 6 o’clock, got to watch Full House… Bob Saget, Bob Saget… who played Danny Tanner, he’s Jewish… Danny Tanner was Jewish… Got to watch Full House at 6 o’clock…
So, let’s see, what’s new in my life- my wife and I just had our first child. We have an 8 week old son named Jack…
[females in the audience say ‘ah’, while the males applaud]
Thank you, thank you. I appreciate that. Yeah, I always like it when people cheer and applaud me for having sex… a year ago…
So the weekend after we found out we were having a baby, we spent 45 bucks on ‘cute clothes’ for Jack at a Carter’s outlet… One of the outfits purchased that day says, ‘Mommy’s Little Monster’. I’m sure this monster-themed attire was designed with the idea in mind of ‘oh, he’s such a messy little boy… he’s always gettin’ into everything…’. But for me, I look at this whole ‘boys are little monsters’ as a literal thing… Boys are actually a wonderful representation of what classic monsters are in my mind…
So far, having a baby boy has totally met all my expectations as far as his lack of politeness: passing gas while people hold him for the first time- some of you just caught me doing another fart joke… and the way he also becomes the baby version of an angry, drunk, and ranting Jack Nicholson… the moment he realizes he’s hungry and we didn’t already have a bottle ready for him right that second… Not to mention the percentage of milk that comes out of his mouth as opposed to the amount that goes in and stays in… But I once was a boy- and in a sense, always will be a boy- you know, since [spoken in an Oprah tone] boys will be boys… Baby Jack is indeed a friendly, little beast. He really sounds and acts like a literal monster…
When he’s sleeping, he often makes this ‘ghurr, ghurr’ sound… And sometimes instead, the noise sounds more like the Smoke Monster from Lost… [make the sound] It doesn’t help that he can’t actually speak yet. How could I not be reminded of a monster when I see a little baby flailing his arms around during pretty much all of his waking hours who makes noises like that scary beast thing (R.O.U.S.) on The Princess Bride?… He’s a monster all right. But a loveable one.
Yes, Jack is a little bit like the TV version of The Incredible Hulk mixed with Jabba the Hut and a Mongolian warrior. But the most adorable and cuddly version you could imagine. I love having my own little monster around the house. I will teach him everything I know. And that, friends, is the truly scary part about this whole “monster” thing…
Alright everyone, I got to get out of here- my time’s up. Actually, I’m not leaving. I’m just exiting the stage. This had been fun, yeah? See you next time.”
Family Friendly Daddy Blog 