fatherhood

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Dear Holly: The One-to-One Parent-to-Kid Ratio When You Get Here

29 weeks.

Dear Holly: The One-to-One Parent-to-Kid Ratio When You Get Here

Dear Holly,

There will be quite the celebration when you arrive in about 11 weeks. It’s so exciting to see new packages at our door every couple of days: new outfits for you, as well as diapers and wipes…

And even that double stroller a few weeks ago. This weekend your brother Jack enjoyed testing it out.

While he is excited, he’s also getting anxious about the changes that will happen when you are born.

Here’s what I predict will happen. For the first several months, I think he and I will naturally team up, to balance out the fact Mommy will be spending so much time taking care of you as a mother does for her newborn.

There will be a one-to-one parent-to-kid ratio for the first time in our family.

That’s actually fine by me. First the first year and a half of your brother’s life, I was by default the 3rd wheel. It was undeniable.

Jack was needing so much of Mommy’s attention, both physically and psychologically, that I often just felt like the silent chauffeur and custodian.

Socially, I didn’t really feel that needed.

I feel that won’t be the case in April.

Jack will depend on me as someone to keep paying attention to him on a constant basis, which as an only child up until this point, is something he’s accustomed to.

My plan is simply this: I’ll do whatever Mommy needs help with for you, but really, my main job as a parent for the first several months will be to help your brother Jack transition into his role as big brother.

As for you and I, if this is anything like it was for Jack and me, then you won’t really think I’m that big of a deal until you’re about 15 months old. Until then, I’ll mainly be a blurry figure with a deep voice.

I’m okay with that. I know what to expect.

It’s a matter of respecting everyone’s role and place. Mine will be your brother Jack’s shadow until you are able to become more physically independent, but that will be a while.

Love,

Daddy

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Dear Jack: Taking You to See Stars Wars (The Force Awakens) was a Top Parenting Moment for Me *No Spoilers*

Dear Jack: Taking You to See Stars Wars (The Force Awakens) was a Top Parenting Moment for Me *No Spoilers*

5 years, 2 months. 

Dear Jack,

I had been preparing you for over a year for Star Wars: The Force Awakens. The time finally came this past Saturday.

Easily, I can say in confidence, it was one of my most epic experiences as a parent, to watch Star Wars: The Force Awakens for the first time, together with you.

We arrived about an hour before the movie as supposed to begin. Even though it had been out in theatres for a month already, I wasn’t willing to risk not getting a good seat, or any seat at all.

Good thing I approached the situation the way I did. We were there at the 4:05 matinee when, technically, the least amount of people are supposed to be interested in seeing a movie.

When we walked in, there were only about 15 or 20 seats taken; so we got our choice seats.

But within 30 minutes, the only seats remaining were the 3 separate front rows, where the floor is flat and you have to look straight up at the screen.

So the good news was that we got good seats by being there an hour before show time.

The bad news was that the commercials and previews started at “show time”, meaning that we were sitting there for close to an hour and a half before Star Wars actually began, meaning we both had to “go potty” as the show was finally beginning. That was the downside of making sure we were fully hydrated for the movie.

However, the movie was so enthralling that we made it through the entire movie, which was 2 hours and 16 minutes; we stayed all the way until the credit ended.

The whole time, you sat on my lap. Each time a new character appeared, you would whisper to me, “Daddy, is that a good guy or a bad guy?”

That’s an especially relevant question when watching a Star Wars movie, when that’s one of the underlying themes in most Star Wars movies anyway: Is he a good guy or a bad guy?

During the most intense action scenes, you would sit straight up on my knee. You were so into it!

I am so happy were you born in 2010; making you 5 years-old when the first new J.J. Abrams/Disney Star Wars movie came out.

That is the perfect age for you to start watching these movies with me.

Having seen all the previous Star Wars movie, I must say that this new one was everything I’d hope it would be.

I was so impressed. I can’t wait for us to watch it when it comes to Redbox. Mommy is pretty intrigued by us talking about it so much, that now she looks forward to seeing it with us.

We love Star Wars!

Love,

Daddy

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Dear Jack: Webisode 20 of Jack-Man- “The Ole Switcheroo”

4 years, 10 months.

Dear Jack,

Dear Jack: Webisode 20 of Jack-Man- “The Ole Switcheroo”

Last weekend Nonna and Papa visited us, as I finally was able to take Mommy to the Lady Antebellum/Hunter Hayes concert that I had bought tickets for on her birthday a month ago.

It wasn’t on my mind at all, but you asked me if we could do a new Jack-Man episode while Papa was in town.

So we did.

For months now, you and I have been scheming a Jack-Man plot in which you and I would swap roles:

You would become “Baby Green Meanie” and I would “Grown Up Jack-Man.”

Dear Jack: Webisode 20 of Jack-Man- “The Ole Switcheroo”

I had been revising the script this whole time. Webisode 20, though it may not appear this way, it was actually one of the most complicated to webisodes we’ve ever filmed.

Perhaps that’s because we had to film it out of order to avoid so many costume changes.

But in the end, I’m very pleased with how it turned out and we had a lot of fun together making the project.

Webisode 20 premieres the concept of having background music during the monologues, instead of just the action and transition screens.

Here it is:

I’ve never mentioned this to you before, but back in college, I recorded 3 demo CDs. Since then, I’ve taken the musical breaks from those tracks to serve as the background music for my videos.

Speaking of music, “The Ole Switcheroo” features this new original song:

Panic Attack!

P-p-p-panic attack! P-p-p-panic attack!

I’m gonna give you a panic attack!

Have your chill pills ready

Keep your position steady

You’re running out of time

Running out of time

You’re getting tunnel vision

Here comes the big collision

Adrenaline freely flows

Freely flows

(note goes up, slower)

P-p-p-panic attack! P-p-p-panic attack!

I’m gonna give you…

You’re getting quite sleepy, so tired, light-headed

And coming up next, it looks like we may be buying a “new” old car…

Love,

Daddy

Dear Jack: Webisode 20 of Jack-Man- “The Ole Switcheroo”

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Dear Jack: I Could and Would Die for You

4 years, 5 months.

Dear Jack: I Could and Would Give My Life for You

Dear Jack,

Without any hesitation, I could and would give my life for you.

However, I believe there is nothing heroic or surprising about that statement whatsoever.

Instead, it’s simply common knowledge, I would assume; that a father would simply in a moment either risk his life or give his life if he saw his child in serious danger. Cue a relevant song:

The reason I recently gave this thought is because recently when we took our mini vacation to Pensacola, we walked out to the end of the long fishing pier at Casino Beach. Mommy and I took turns holding you up to the guard rail to let you see over into the water.

(We were all surprised to the see the man next to us catch a small shark; which he ultimately was required to throw back into the ocean.)

As we left the pier and walked back to the beach, you asked me this:

“Daddy, what would happen if another child’s daddy or mommy was holding them and they pretended like they were going to throw their child into the water, but then they really did, but they didn’t mean to?”

I was amazed at such a deep, hypothetical question from a 4 and a half year-old little boy.

My answer was this:

“They would do whatever it takes to get their child back. If it were you that fell in, I would immediately jump in after you.”

Granted, I’m not sure I would survive the hit of impact of the water (that pier is pretty high off of the water), or that the water would absolutely be deep enough to save my fall.

Either way, I would follow you, even to death. Cue another relevant song:

This reminds me of a scene on one of my favorite shows, Lost; during the final season one of the main characters gets trapped in a submarine, after a bomb explodes, causing water to rush in.

Spoiler alert! Even though Lost ended almost exactly 5 years ago:

Her legs are pinned down from the explosion, leaving her upper half out of the water, as her husband desperately tried to bend the steel bars in order to free her.

After several attempts, he realizes it’s impossible. Though he himself was free and could escape instead of drowning, he chooses to stay with his wife; dying with her in the flood.

It was one of the most touching moment in Lost for me.

But ultimately, it wasn’t heroic. You undoubtedly would die for the people you love the most; without hesitation.

So yes, it’s a dark thought to think about you falling in the water or that we would not spend many more decades together here on Earth.

I just want you to know- I can’t imagine living the rest of my life with you or Mommy. If I felt I was about to lose either of you, I would instantly throw my life in front whatever it was to try to prevent anything bad from happening to you two.

Not because I’m some great guy, but simply because you and Mommy are my life. What would life be without you?

Love,

Daddy

Leave a comment Posted on Nostalgia, parenting, Uncategorized

Dear Jack: Why We Decided Against A Pool Table/The Great Outdoors

4 years, 4 months.

Dear Jack,

Dear Jack: Why We Decided Against A Pool Table/The Great Outdoors

There for a couple of months, our family was seriously planning on getting a pool table for our living room, for the same price as putting in furniture.

Ultimately, I told Mommy I changed my mind. Instead, I wanted to make sure we created an easily accessible space in our home where we could sit on comfortable furniture and have real conversations, without any threat of media interference.

Dear Jack: Why We Decided Against A Pool Table/The Great Outdoors

So we ended up doing that in our living room by getting a couch and chair on sale at American Signature. And I am so happy we did.

Dear Jack: Why We Decided Against A Pool Table/The Great Outdoors

Meanwhile, you and I have really started taking advantage of the great outdoors, in our neighborhood. Though it doesn’t have a playground, you and I have decided what matters more to us as a father and son duo is being able to go explore in the woods around our house.

Dear Jack: Why We Decided Against A Pool Table/The Great Outdoors

In essence, our cul-de-sac serves as the entrance to a walking trail that is intertwined with a creek and two small ponds.

For me as a boy growing up in Alabama, being in close proximity to something like that was one of the best things I could hope for.

Dear Jack: Why We Decided Against A Pool Table/The Great Outdoors

And now, you and I get to have that.

This past weekend you decided to release your crystals from your magic set into the water; since they would clog up the plumbing in our house if we flushed them or dumped them into the garbage disposal. You enjoyed watching them swell up in the water.

Dear Jack: Why We Decided Against A Pool Table/The Great Outdoors

Earlier this week you got to use your sidewalk chalk on our driveway for the first time. You were in your artist mindset.

Dear Jack: Why We Decided Against A Pool Table/The Great Outdoors

Seriously, the great outdoors! It’s a different lifestyle for us being able to enjoy it anytime the weather is decent.

I never realized how much our quality of life was truly going to improve by moving out of our townhouse community and into the suburbs into a “real house.”

Dear Jack: Why We Decided Against A Pool Table/The Great Outdoors

Of all the things I love about our new home, the outdoor walking path is definitely one of my favorites. And I know you feel the same way.

The great outdoors are crucial to boyhood.

Love,

Daddy

Dear Jack: Why We Decided Against A Pool Table/The Great Outdoors