fatherhood

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Dear Holly: Your “Hold Me, Daddy!” Moments

1 year, 6 months.

Dear Holly,

Getting to be a daddy to a little girl is something remarkable. For me, it has been a completely different experience in raising you at your young age, compared to your brother when he was a year and a half.

Not that raising one child is a better situation than the other; I’m not comparing the two of you in that way. But noticeably, you need me on a different level than your brother ever did at this age.

I guess there’s just no way around it- I can’t help but think of John Mayer’s song, “Daughters”, right now.

Especially when it comes to emotional and physical support, those lyrics about the importance of a father’s influence on his daughter are spot on:

Fathers, be good to your daughters
Daughters will love like you do

On behalf of every man
Looking out for every girl
You are the god and weight of her world

I see this on a daily basis. I see how you constantly strive for my confirmation, my affection, and my attention… even though I freely give you all those things.

On a selfish level, that makes me feel good. It serves as a reminder that in all the uncertainty I face, as a man whose role it is to convince my family that I can take care of them, that I am definitely needed and doing something right.

A few weekends ago at the farm and pumpkin patch, a chicken stuck its head out through the fence and unintentionally scared you.

Immediately, you grabbed one of my arms with both of yours; holding so tightly until the chicken pulled itself back through the fence.

Perhaps to some, that’s just a simple, forgettable moment.

But not for me. That’s a “Hold me, Daddy!” moment. That is worth gold to me.

Love,

Daddy

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Dear Holly: Trying to Figure out Halloween as a 1 and a Half Year-Old

1 year, 6 months.

Dear Holly,

Last Friday night we took our first family drive as in the 2017 Lexus IS 350 and made our way to your brother’s school for Trunk or Treat. Having just turned a year and a half this week, you have been busy using your brain to attempt to understand how the world works.

I would speculate that the American tradition of Halloween has to be a bit perplexing for you. For example, why was your brother dressed up as a skeleton? He looked so scary!

And why did Mommy insist on you wearing a scarecrow outfit? So strange…

Since you refused to continue wearing the hat to your scarecrow costume to the car, Mommy decided to wear it instead. At that point, realizing I was the only person in our family to not be wearing some kind of special costume, I decided to go as a guy who requires me to just look like I already do…

My non-costume costume was that I pretended to be the guy from the Campbell’s Go Southwest Chicken soup package, since everyone apparently already thinks that’s really me. (It’s not!)

Once we arrived at the school, your brother began collecting candy from all the parents and school teachers who had dressed up the trunks of their cars.

You tried your best to process what was real. For example, you saw a child walking past you dressed in a giant dinosaur costume. Immediately, you pointed, and make a guttural sound that apparently was your attempt to make a scary growling sound like you thought dinosaurs should sound like.

I think next year you’ll be able to appreciate Trunk or Treat a little bit more. The next morning, we made our way to the pumpkin patch. That was much more your speed.

Love,

Daddy

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Dear Holly: Your 3 Day Long Virus with a 106 Degree Temperature

1 year, 5 months.

Dear Holly,

While getting tubes put in your ears a couple months ago definitely has helped prevent you getting more ear infections, it doesn’t prevent you from getting sick beyond that. So the weekend before last, you woke up in the middle of the night with a 106 degree temperature!

It definitely was scary for Mommy and me, but the nurse on the phone advised us to give you a bath to cool you down, along with pain reliever/fever reducer. When Mommy took you to the doctor the next morning, we learned that you simply had a virus that would end in 3 days; no prescription medicine would help cure it any faster.

Nonna and Papa were already planning on coming up to our house for most of the week because your brother’s school was on Fall Break. But because of your condition, they rushed up early by a few days to help take care of you; as Mommy and I still had to go to work.

You definitely needed extra cuddle time with Nonna as your body was fighting off the virus, and she was happy to oblige. And your naps were much longer as well; 3 hour naps compared to your usual 45 hour naps.

But as the doctor had predicted, your fever went away and your energy returned. The pictures starting streaming in from Nonna, as she sent them through Facebook Messenger.

I saw you playing with Papa and going on a stroller ride with Nonna.

You eventually even went to the park and wanted to go play in the creek with your brother. Too bad you didn’t have rain boots on!

We are so grateful that you are okay now and that Nonna and Papa were able to rush to the rescue! Thank God our little girl is okay.

Love,

Daddy

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Dear Jack: Your Personal Decision to Wear a Screen-Printed Necktie Long-Sleeve T-Shirt for Your School Picture, as Opposed to One of the Fancy Dress Shirts Nonna Bought You

6 years, 10 months.

Dear Jack,

At the end of the summer, Nonna lucked out and was able to buy a collection of brand-new dress shirts for you from a store that was going out of business back in Fort Payne, Alabama where I grew up. Several of these shirts were originally worth around $60, but she got them for much, much cheaper.

I had just recently explained to you that when you get older, like around 6th grade, you’re going to want to transition to wearing more shirts like this. It’s just part of that more mature transition into Junior High. But that’s still 5 years from now.

Naturally, Mommy brought them all out of your closet the night before Picture Day at school, so you could decide which one you’d wear for your photo. You were curious about the idea of wearing a bowtie; the one you wore from exactly a year ago when we were in San Diego for your Uncle Jake’s wedding.

But there was hesitation on your part. Apparently, there was part of the discussion I had missed prior to walking into your bedroom that night.

Then I saw Mommy reach back in the closet for one more option.

I watched your blue eyes grow big once she pulled out a black long-sleeve t-shirt with a screen-printed image of a necktie; it was a one she ordered online from Crazy 8.

“What you do you think, Daddy?” Mommy asked me.

My response was instant:

“Even though we’ve got much nicer shirts for him, if he finds his current identity in this fake necktie shirt, I say let the kid be happy.”

So last Thursday morning before you left for school, I snapped a picture of you in that shirt.

Hey, there are will be plenty of opportunities for you to wearing your classy, Southern dress shirts from Nonna. Picture Day just wasn’t one of them.

At least not this year.

Love,

Daddy

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Dear Holly: How The Beatles’ “And I Love Her” Song Makes Me Think of You

1 year, 5 months.

Dear Holly,

One of the highlights of my day is to come home from work after a long day and a long drive home, to take care of you while Mommy prepares dinner.

I always ask her how much time she needs, which is usually around 30 to 45 minutes. As I carry you outside for a long walk or a stroller ride around in our neighborhood, I have this involuntary habit of saying to you, in 3rd person about you, “She’s so sweet. She’s precious. And I love her.”

After I finally realized I was saying that out loud, I immediately thought back to the 1964 song by The Beatles’, “And I Love Her.”

I give her all my love
That’s all I do
And if you saw my love
You’d love her to
I love her

Bright are the stars that shine
Dark is the sky
I know this love of mine
Will never die
And I love her

The song only peaked at Number 12 in America, so it was never one of their well-known hits. But for me, I guess I am realizing it is a song of from their library that has always resonated with me. Perhaps it took you to help me realize that.

I have never loved anyone the way I love you. It’s a special bond that has taken experiencing to understand.

It’s like you are a literally a special little angel and I have been appointed to care for. My job is to protect and nurture and adore you into adulthood. But the entire time, I ultimately know you are never really mine. You are a gift. You belong to God and I simply was selected through divine intervention to be your caretaker.

This is the only way I can explain how much I love you.

Love,

Daddy