ENFJ, Self-Preservation Enneagram 9 Wing 8: I Am Officially a Fun Guy!

Fact: I am officially a fun guy. Specifically, I am a friendly, sociable extrovert. It took the events of 2024 in order for me to understand this.

It becomes common at the end of a year for people to say, “I can’t wait to see what exciting new things next year has in store!”

Well, here I am at the end of a year and I can very clearly express what 2024 had in store for me. This would be the year that I finally mapped out the rules of what defines the word “fun” for me, and therefore, what actually allows me to experience the concept of happiness.

Moving from the heavily (over)populated Nashville area of over a million people halfway through this year, to the less than 15,000 population Appalachian mountain town in Alabama we have now lived the second half of the year in, I have a clear understanding of why I am happy and loving life again.

Because my definition of fun explicitly involves the following:

A) Not being in traffic or in big, chaotic crowds.

B) Not having to pay to park or to pay an admission to get in.

C) Not having to wait in a long line.

D) Not having to “run around” or “be busy”.

E) Being able to spend quality time with people.

It’s funny how quickly my perspective of life changed after we moved to Alabama and we got all of the house renovations completed:

I could finally chill out. Because where I live in Alabama, my rules for having fun and being happy easily apply. Whereas in Nashville, they rarely did.

It is true I am indeed a fun and extroverted person, but I naturally become the opposite (stoic and introverted) when I have to be in traffic or chaotic crowds, when I have to pay to park or pay an admission to get in, when I have to wait in a long line, when I feel like I am having to run around or be busy, or when I am not able to spend quality time with people.

Our family’s most successful vacation ever, this past summer to Oregon, helped reinforce that my “rules for fun” not only ensured that I was operating in my default extroverted personality, but it also meant my family had more fun as individuals and collectively too.

As a ENFJ, self-preservation Enneagram 9 Wing 8, I instinctively seek experiences where I can be challenged in some way, while still feeling comfortable in the process. That is one of my gifts I offer to those around me: To create and maintain an environment where everyone feels comfortable, challenged, and valued.

In a good way, I feel this pressure to ensure that we are all collectively having a good time.

I think back to the motto my wife and I curated this year:

“Give life meaning and creative beautiful experiences.”

Moving here to Alabama and living a “quiet life” has now made it remarkably easier for me to be my true extroverted self; who is creative, fun, and happy to be around.

That is the world I live in now.

So yeah, I’m a big fan of 2024.

Dear Jack: Christmas Cookies

14 years, 1 month.

Dear Jack,

I had no expectations of you joining Mommy and your sister in making Christmas cookies this year. I figured that surely you had outgrown such an activity at this point.

But since our family’s move to Alabama this year, one of the things I officially learned about you is that traditions play an extremely important role in your life.

So when it was time to start making Christmas cookies, you definitely showed up to participate.

Granted, you put your personal spin on the tradition by veering away from using the standard cookie cutters we had and instead customizing the shapes yourself.

Some of them were even 3-D.

They may look different from the other cookies, but I know for a fact you didn’t change the recipe of your cookies.

So at least all the cookies taste the same.

All I care about is that you had fun participating in a family tradition. Though actually, my only contribution was taking pictures of the event!

Love,

Daddy

Dear Holly: Our Whole Finally Joined the Christmas Parade!

8 years, 7 months.

Dear Holly,

Apparently the plan was for you and your brother to ride with Nonna and Papa in the Christmas parade last Friday, as Papa is part of the local Jeep club.

But the night before, there was so much logistical planning involved. I explained to Mommy, “Okay, so before the parade starts, we need to park one of our cars on one side of the town to pick up the kids once the parade is over, so we can easily get to the kids to take them home. It’s going to be so cold and they will already be outside for so long already.”

She simply responded, “Do we all just want to be the parade?”

And that is how our whole family ended up throwing candy in the Fort Payne Christmas parade. I feel confident that we have now begun a new Christmas family tradition here on our first Christmas as a family in Alabama.

Love,

Daddy

Dear Holly: Hanging Out at Our House after the Thanksgiving Meal

8 years, 7 months.

 

Dear Holly,

As I came across more photos from Thanksgiving Day at our house, what stood out to me was how we all had a space to just casually hang out for the afternoon after the big meal.

You and your cousin Darla spent most of the time “selling” things from your bedroom, using the cash registers with credit card readers you made.

Meanwhile, those of us in our 40s played old school Nintendo games.

I’m still not over the fact that we don’t have to drive three hours across state lines with Christmas gifts, after having worked all week; in order to be with everyone at Thanksgiving.

It’s just easier to be thankful at Thanksgiving now.

Love,

Daddy

Dear Holly: Our 1st Alabama Thanksgiving was a Success!

8 years, 7 months.

Dear Holly,

It’s unanimous:

Our family’s first time hosting Thanksgiving here in Alabama was a success!

We had a total of 15 people at our home- and we all actually fit in the kitchen for the Thanksgiving meal.

With it being a collaboration for the food, it wasn’t all on us to feed everyone. Hosting Thanksgiving is not bad at all. I truly enjoyed sharing our home with family.

It’s funny how not stressful Thanksgiving is when we’re not having to drive three hours to get there and then not sleep in our own beds.

So, yeah… I think we officially made Thanksgiving great again.

 

Love,

Daddy