Enneagram 4

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Dear Jack: Showing Enneagram 4 Vibes by Staring Out the Window

14 years, 1 month.

Dear Jack,

Last Sunday afternoon as it was raining, I was in my room working on writing some new songs. When I finally took a break, I happened to walk out into the living room and catch a glimpse of you and Mommy in a genuine, authentic moment:

The two of you were sitting next to each other, not saying a word, staring out the window.

Fortunately, I was able to sneak a photo of that exact uninterrupted scene. The meme of Kermit the Frog comes to mind.

I then broke the silence by laughing at loud.

It served as a funny reminder to me that I am the only person in our household who doesn’t have an Enneagram 4 associated with my personality.

You are an Enneagram 5 with a dominant 4 wing, while Mommy is an Enneagram 3 with a dominant 4 wing. And as for your sister, she is an Enneagram 2 who morphs into an Enneagram 4 when she is happy.

Enneagram 4s are known for being the most aware of their emotions. In other words, they are the type most likely to get caught up in staring out the window on a rainy day.

So by default, that means that I win the award for “Least Emotional” in our house. And I’m pretty sure that is no surprise to anyone.

Love,

Daddy

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Songs I Wrote in 2023: “Rescuer” – 5th of 13

While writing my Enneagram book this year, I was inspired to compose a song about Enneagram 4. My son is a 5 wing 4, so I have definitely witnessed his need for a “rescuer”, though he won’t let it be me because I continually make myself too available for him.

Here is the song this concept inspired:

You think you need a rescuer – Someone to help you feel special – You think it could never be me because I’m not the one who’s out of reach – It’s a complex where you see yourself as different – Like an outsider could never understand it – But I’m standing here describing it to you – Maybe I need a rescuer too? What if all this time you believed a lie that something was missing in you? What if all this time everything you needed was never out of view? What if you only chase the things that always run away? What if you never embrace the things that ever keep you safe in this world? What if all this time I was more than qualified to empathize with you? What if all this time I could see the blind spots that covered your eyes?

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Dear Jack: You are Now “Rebuilding” Hot Wheels… for Fun!

12 years, 3 months.

Dear Jack,

This past Christmas, you were obsessed with doing model cars. That has now transcended into you taking apart your old Hot Wheels cars, swapping their wheels, and completely repainting both the exterior, as well as the interior.

Just like with all your pursuits of the years, like last year’s Taekwondo, and archery the year before, Mommy and I are all in to help support your newest interest and hobby.

This past weekend, I bought you several cans of spray paint, and Mommy bought you a certain drill you need to be able to take the cars apart much easier.

You are a true Enneagram 4. You are so creative.

Mommy and I finally realized this week, that when you get “too much extra energy”, it’s not necessarily because you need to go outside.

Instead, it’s often because you need a creative activity to work on indoors.

I’m sure I’ll bring it up again later once we finish it, but I bought your sister a Star Wars puzzle this week for she and I work on. So far, you have accomplished more of putting the puzzle together, than your sister and me combined.

I love to see your creativity in action!

Love,

Daddy

 

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Dear Jack: Your New Pottery Wheel Studio

12 years, 1 month.

Dear Jack,

This year for Christmas, you received very few toys. Instead, it was all about arts and crafts.

You have always loved creative activities, but this only become more obvious since having Art as an elective class for 6th grade this year.

With my “office” being our kitchen table, I always get a front-row seat for whatever project you are currently working on.

This morning, you unboxed and quickly taught yourself how to use your new Pottery Wheel Studio that Mommy and I got you for Christmas.

Last night, I sat down with you and went through my newest Enneagram book.

It’s official: You’re Enneagram 4- the creative personality.

That’s no surprise to me!

Love,

Daddy

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Dear Jack: You Know How to Identify an Enneagram 4… Blue Hair!

12 years old.

Dear Jack,

While hanging out at Aunt Dana’s house for a couple of days during Thanksgiving Break, she sent me a photo of you making a silly face (the norm these days anytime someone takes a picture of you) and holding a boy doll with blue hair, wearing some unique clothing.

You explained to Aunt Dana that the Enneagram number of this doll would an Enneagram 4, because, “Yep, pretty much anytime someone has crazy colored hair, my dad says they are a 4”.

Very well done. You have definitely been paying attention. It was a year ago that I got my Enneagram Certification, so by default, you hear my assessing of people’s Enneagrams all the time.

You know that Enneagram 4s like to stand out in some way. Blue hair is definitely a way to do that!

 

Love,

Daddy