Dear Jack: The Elf on the Shelf is Your Newest Stuffed Animal

5 years, 1 month.

Dear Jack: The Elf on the Shelf is Your Newest Stuffed Animal

Dear Jack,

A year ago, Mommy bought a slightly smaller version of the Elf on the Shelf, on clearance after Christmas.

She unboxed it this past weekend and…. the next day he suddenly appeared in a different place.

That was the last time the Elf on the Shelf demonstrated his magic, because since then, you have been carrying him around with you everywhere: to school, to dinner, to bed…

In other words, you saw the Elf on the Shelf as an opportunity to adopt another stuffed animal.

This weekend when Nonna is in town, I’m going to have you and her count exactly how many stuffed animals you have now. I won’t be surprised if that number is very close to 100.

In fact, let me put in my official estimate. How about 83? I could be way under, but I think you have at least 83 stuffed animals.

As people have been seeing you in public, walking around with who you have named “Elfie,” some of them have looked at us in a state of surprise, as if it was taboo to carry about an Elf on the Shelf.

I’ve recently learned that legend says if you touch the elf, he loses his magic.

That theory checks out, as he hasn’t disappeared since the day you started carrying him around.

Granted, Mommy told me that this slightly smaller version is specifically designed to be held, as she read on the packaging.

However, people don’t know that when they see you holding him. Your friends at school and church were so shocked.

It makes no difference to you. He’s another stuffed animal and you managed to once again outsmart the system.

You let the rest of the world play their reindeer games with the Elf on the Shelf. Meanwhile, you just got away with a new toy before Christmas.



New Infographic: What Would It Take to Store Santa’s Gifts?

I assume, like most kids, I was confused and troubled by the complicated logistics involved in Santa’s overnight delivery to all the (good) kids in the world… in a single night.

Not only would there be physical restrictions, but financial ones as well. Even with all the free labor (?) of the elves, I still questioned how Santa could budget such a feat.

Now, as an adult, thanks to this new inforgraphic, I can get confirmation that I had everyone reason to feel unsettled aboutall this.

So here it is, “What Would It Take To Store Santa’s Gifts?”