Dear Jack: Sometimes I Can Even Be Your Nurturer

4 years.

Dear Jack,

Dear Jack: Sometimes I Can Even Be Your Nurturer

Today during lunchtime, the parents were invited up for a special sort of pre-Thanksgiving at your school.

It’s interesting to see how your personality transforms when I show up to school to visit, as opposed to dropping you off or picking you off.

You got sort of giggly, yet quiet; like you were confused on how to act in front of both your teachers and me. You knew how to interact with your friends, but my presence was definitely throwing you off.

How do you balance your interaction with more than one role of authority between two different environments? I can imagine that sense of displacement.

After a few minutes once you had finished your lunch, you discovered what made you feel comfortable- sitting in my lap while I squeezed you tightly.

You didn’t want to talk or play; just let me hold you as we watched your friends interact with their parents.

Eventually, we started taking goofy pictures of ourselves. That really made you feel more like yourself.

father and son selfies

After about 30 minutes or so before it was time for your nap and time for me to leave.

It’s funny because I’m the one to say the final good-night to you at home and it’s a pretty quick process.

But today at school, you kept asking me to hug you and kiss you again and again as I was leaving. That’s not typical of you.

I got to see this really, really sweet side of you that apparently is reserved for Mommy, I suppose.

Granted, you’re a sweet boy anyway. It’s just that usually I’m the one to play rough with you and I’m by default the main disciplinarian figure in your life.

Tonight as Mommy and I were putting you to bed, you told Mommy, “Today when Daddy left, I was sad… because Daddy had to go.”

Somewhat ironically, it makes me feel good that you were sad when I had to leave.

It’s confirmation that you know you can see me as a nurturer anytime you really need to. But as for most of the time, I am your fearless leader.

Dear Jack: Our Visit To The Ghost And Skeleton Museum

3 years, 10 months.

Our Visit To The Ghost And Skeleton Museum

Dear Jack,

Since your Uncle Andrew introduced you to it, you’ve been requesting to watch “Too Spooky For Me” on YouTube:

As I just mentioned in Part Of My Job Is To Scare You, I explained how you actually enjoy me scaring you, as you hold on tightly to me for reinforcement of the fact that I’m here to protect you.

Well, last Thursday on the way to school, you announced, “Daddy, I want to go to a ghost and skeleton museum.”

I didn’t, and still don’t, actually know what you were asking of me. However, I’m your Daddy and it’s my job to provide; or at least, attempt to provide for your requests.

Hey, I like a challenge. I can be creative.

So this past weekend on our fall road trip from Nashville to Asheville, as we reviewed the 4G capabilities of the 2015 Buick LaCrosse, we visited one of those “big tent holiday stores” in the parking lot of the Asheville mall across from the new Whole Foods.

Our Visit To The Ghost And Skeleton Museum

You and I went in together first, while Mommy was in the Ulta (some female store I’ve never heard of) as she used a gift card she had received for her birthday.

Then, once Mommy was finished, you asked to go back, this time as a family. It was important to you that Mommy got to see it too!

In theory, you were slightly terrified on the automated people and monsters. But that’s how committed you were to your request to visit a “ghost and skeleton” museum.

You never sincerely wanted to leave the tent; it was as if you needed to prove to yourself weren’t too scared to be there.

Since our visit, you have enjoyed impersonating the “old man trying to go potty” as seen when we first walked in; you can see it in this video:

On the way back to Nashville I asked you if you liked the “ghost and skeleton” museum.

Your confusing response was this: “Daddy, that wasn’t a ghost and skeleton museum! I wanted to see a skeleton of a ghost!

Yeah, I’m not sure what that’s supposed to mean.

Love,

Daddy

P.S. Stay tuned for There’s Nothin’ Like Riding Through A Tunnel In The Car, the sequel to this story…

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Dear Jack: Daddy, You’re Too Small And You’re A Bad Boy!

3 years, 10 months.

Dear Jack: Daddy, You’re Too Small And You’re A Bad Boy!

Dear Jack,

Sunday night, randomly during the middle of dinner, after a very busy, non-stop, adventurous weekend with Mommy and me, you turned to me and made a proclamation:

“Daddy, you’re too small and you’re a bad boy!”

It was one of those times when I just froze, in order to keep from laughing at the absurdity of your unprovoked “insult” to me. I didn’t want to encourage your behavior by allowing you to see me smiling.

I recognize that you’re not yourself when you’re that tired and hungry. While Mommy and I did have to verbally explain to you that that’s not how you talk to me or her, I have to admit I can’t legitimately count statements like that as “bad behavior.”

As I hope will be reflected in my upcoming interview in Nashville’s The Tennessean, I recognize there are 3 main reasons why you “act up.” You’re either tired, hungry, or in need of attention.

There has yet to be a reason for you “getting in trouble” other than those 3 things.

I feel that as your Daddy, it’s up to me to help provide for those needs. It’s my job to make sure you get your naps and bedtime in according to your schedule, to give you food when you’re hungry (even though you yourself don’t realize you’re hungry), and to interact with you when you’re needing conversation.

In other words, you never just come out and say, “I’m hungry” or “I’m tired” or “I want someone to pay attention to me.”

Instead, you “misbehave.”

And I can relate: When I’m tired, hungry, and for lack of a better phrase, “in need of attention,” I’m the same way.

But going back to what you told me, I’m still cracking up that you randomly informed me that I’m too small and a bad boy.

Mommy suggested that your insult was based on reoccurring storylines from Thomas & Friends episodes where, so often, the plot line revolves around one of the trains being too small to pull the freight.

As for the “bad boy” part, I think that’s you referencing other boys at school who get in trouble on a regular basis.

So, I’m too small and I’m a bad boy.

Not bad for an insult from a nearly 4 year-old.

Love,

Daddy

Were you interested in what you just read? Was this post a strangely pleasant distraction to other things popping up on your Facebook or Twitter feed? Ya know… you could always like me on Facebook, follow me on Twitter, or even subscribe to Family Friendly Daddy Blog by clicking on the appropriate icon on the left side of this page. No pressure though…

Dear Jack: Your Friend Lucy Says I’m A Nice Daddy

3 years, 9 months.

Dear Jack: Your Friend Lucy Says I’m A Nice Daddy

Dear Jack,

Last Thursday as I was picking you up from KinderCare and walking you to our car, your friend Lucy saw us walking by and proclaimed to her own Daddy, “That’s Jack’s Daddy. He’s a nice Daddy!”

I had really never considered my reputation among the 3 year-olds of your school.

Maybe I really am a “nice Daddy.”

Hey, I’ll take a compliment anytime I can; even from a 3 year-old.

When I walk in each day to pick you up from school, your friends always begin talking to me; like they’re supposed to or something. It’s been that way for months, actually…

Your friend Avery always tells me, “My Mommy picks me up today.”

Jaedyn always describes what she’s drawing and shows it to me.

Ethan immediately hugs my leg, like I’m his actually Daddy.

And when I see you, you always run to me and I lift you up to the air like you’re a rocket.

So looking back, I guess you and I do make a scene each day when I pick you up.

Ultimately, I guess that makes me a “nice Daddy.”

(Coincidently, I happened to meet Lucy’s Mommy, Autumn, this week for the first time; I took some pictures of you and Lucy playing together.)

I can honestly say I’ve never considered my reputation as a “nice Daddy” among your peers. I guess I’ve just always subconsciously assumed that their dads act the same way when they pick them up each day.

And that’s still what I assume. I assume all your friends’ fathers treat them the same way as I treat you.

How could they not?

Being a good father (and husband) are the roles in life I take the most seriously.

My understanding is that fatherhood is the one of the main forms of identity and self-realization for the modern American man.

Doesn’t every man think the same way as I do? The dads I know all do, at least.

My guy friends are all “nice Daddies.”

In fact, I bet a lot of them are actually nicer than I am.

Dear Jack: Reading Bedtime Stories With A Scream Mask On

3 years, 9 months.

Dear Jack: Reading Bedtime Stories With A Scream Mask On

Dear Jack,

This past weekend for Labor Day, we took a road trip in the 2015 Buick LaCrosse through Chattanooga and then to your Nonna and Papa’s house. More on that later…

With all the driving around we did, Mommy and I needed to make sure you got a good nap on Sunday.

As we made our way upstairs to what used to be your Aunt Dana’s bedroom, you saw a Scream mask and a hockey mask I had from high school, lying in the floor of my bedroom which hasn’t been cleaned since… circa 1999.

You asked me to read you a bedtime story, while wearing the Scream mask, before you went down for your nap.

So I did…

For your story, I chose a book from my own childhood: Sesame Street’s Ernie Gets Lost.

I had to make sure my voice matched the character of the mask, so I did my best impression of the voice modulator used in the Scream movies.

You decided you wanted me to use a “quieter” voice instead, so I changed it to a good ole fashioned falsetto female voice, which was much more pleasant sounding- technically.

Keep in mind, this was all your idea. Good thing Mommy and I had the camera handy!

After nap time, the scary masks ended up downstairs and they were passed around for more entertainment. Your cousin Calla appreciated the masks as well, for some reason.

Dear Jack: Reading Bedtime Stories With A Scream Mask On

So yeah, it was pretty much the typical American Labor Day holiday… Scream mask and hockey mask included.

I have a feeling that when we drive back there in a month for your Uncle Andrew’s 30th birthday, you’re going to want me to wear the mask and read a bedtime story again.

This may have been the beginning of a new tradition! What should have been terrifying was simply entertaining, apparently serving as the best way to transition you to peaceful sleep.

[Cue Metallica’s “Enter Sandman.”]

Love,

Daddy