Our Family Pet is a Syrian Hamster… And I Am Its Calm Assertive Pack Leader

I admit: I am not a dog person. Nor am I a cat person. I like dogs and cats, just not enough to become personally responsible for their survival and/or livelihood.

So beyond caring for my wife and kids, what living creature do I have enough capacity left to care for?

I’ve got just enough left in me for… a rodent.

Specifically, a Syrian hamster.

When my son turned 9, over a year ago, he wanted a hamster.

It became immediately obvious, the moment we brought him home from the pet store, that Alpha was going to be my pet instead.

To be clear, back in November 2018, I knew nothing about hamsters.

So, thank you YouTube.

I learned that we needed to buy an aquarium for him to live in, instead of the “cute” hamster cages they sell at the pet stores where you buy the hamsters.

I learned how to hand-tame him.

I also learned that Syrian hamsters, being nocturnal and solitary animals, typically bond with one specific person in the household; in the likeness of a dog respecting the authority of the calm assertive pack leader.

Every night after the kids get ready for bed, I take the hamster out to let him crawl around in my hands, as I create my own version of a hamster wheel for him.

That’s when the kids like to take turns petting the hamster; which is the extent of their involvement with him.

While we are able to leave him alone at our house for a weekend, Alpha gets to go to Alabama where we stay at my parents’ house for Christmas vacation; which was for a week and a half in 2020.

This year, Alpha enjoyed crawling around in the Christmas wrapping paper- and feasting on Pistachios.

Syrian Hamsters typically don’t live more than 3 years.

That means that this year, in 2021, the year I turn 40, Alpha the Syrian Hamster will be officially experiencing the start of his midlife crisis along with me.

Dear Jack: Cutting Open a Shark on Christmas Morning

10 years, 1 month.

Dear Jack,

What to get a 10 year-old boy for Christmas in 2020?

It definitely was a Fortnite-themed season for you, as you now have 10 of the action figures; as well as a tower for them to climb and a remote controlled golf cart for them to ride on.

This is all despite you never actually playing the video game that the Fortnite characters are based on.

But you were also very excited about the Treasure X Sunken Gold Shark.

You discretely pulled out the plastic red knife included with the toy, then proceeded to cut open the shark’s stomach.

Mission accomplished:

You successfully pulled out a handful of orange slime in order to rescue to the alien inside!

Sounds about right for a 10 year-old boy on Christmas morning 2020.

Love,

Daddy

Dear Holly: Taking Driving Lessons For Your New Surfer Girl Pink Jeep

4 years, 8 months.

Dear Holly,

You’ve been asking for a pink Jeep for a while now. Well, this year when it was being decided what you would get for Christmas, Mommy told me, “Like Daddy, like daughter.”

That means that your “main” Christmas gift this year was a pink, electric riding Jeep, which is now parked next to my black Jeep in our garage.

With this only being your first week into owning your Jeep, you’re still taking it a bit slow; as your brother is eager to give you daily driving lessons, until you are confident enough to drive your pink Jeep on your own.

Love,

Daddy

Dear Holly: Putting Papa in Jail

4 years, 7 months.

Dear Holly,

You and your cousin Darla have this tradition of “putting Papa in jail” every time the two of you get together.

My understanding of it is that you “arrest” him by taking him to a closet, where he has to wait until the two of you hide, then he has to come find you.

Afterwards, it typically ends with him reading you a book; or a similar activity while you sit in his lap.

Especially now during Christmas break, I am hearing daily, “Papa, you have to go to jail!”

He has quite the criminal record by now.

Love,

Daddy

Dear Jack: The Indoor Play Center at Your Cousins’ House

10 years, 1 month.

Dear Jack,

You and your sister are truly making the most of spending Christmas week with your cousins of the same age.

It is impossible to be bored or needy at their house; which contains an epic play room, equipped with plenty of dolls for the young girls; and two live baby kittens for you and your older cousin.

This picture summarizes it all.

No need for adult intervention. The four of you easily take care of yourselves in an environment like this.

All day long.

And to think, you all still haven’t even received your Christmas gifts yet!

Love,

Daddy