Each year since 2020, I have challenged myself to write an album’s worth of songs (at least 12) to record and post on my YouTube channel. This year’s album, which I entitle “So Much for Enlightenment”, contains these 12 tracks which I have released on YouTube throughout 2024:

Just Passin’ Through, February 3rd, Adam and Eve, I’m Taking Over the World Today!, People Pleaser, I Can’t Sit Still, What If This is All There Is?, Ego Death, Happiness is a Choice, Give Life Meaning, Astronomy, and Watch It Work Itself Out.

Why do I challenge myself to do this? I learned during the Covid Lockdown that by composing and writing music, I am able to tap into emotions and subconscious concerns that I normally would not have access to. So I became curious to find out what is buried down inside of me and to learn how revealing that knowledge could help me understand myself and life better.

In other words, I am undeniably a poet and a storyteller.

To help ensure I write legitimate and creative songs, I have a code of criteria that I hold myself accountable to: Each song must be at least 3 minutes long. The tempo must vary from one song to the next, so that there aren’t too many slow songs. The lyrics must rhyme and contain a decent amount of alliteration. Most importantly, the content must be unique and meaningful.

A major advantage I have over a professional recording artist is that I have the freedom to write and release songs whenever I want to. I’m not trying to become famous nor make a career out of this. I legitimately write and publish an album’s worth of songs each year because I truly enjoy the process.

Even as I write this, I am so curious to go back to the beginning of this year and see what it is I learned through my own music. Here’s a look at my subconscious spanning the year of 2024:

1st song: “Just Passin’ Through” (January 15th)

There’s nothing I want I don’t already have – There’s no way to tempt me, to cause me to envy – There’s nothing to fear that won’t already happen – There’s no way to scare me, to give me anxiety – What, me worry? I’m past that point in my life – I’m not sorry – I’m sleeping better at night – What have I got to lose? It’s only mine for a while – I’m just passin’ through – Why should I be afraid? We all know how this ends – It ain’t nothin’ new – Just passin’ through – Here’s me accepting my fate – I’m ready, come what may – I guess I always knew – I’m just passin’ through

2nd song: “February 3rd” (February 17th)

I’d been awake for an hour this morning before I was discerning what day it was and realized I was in luck – Something was different – Sun was shining – Birds were singing – Got me thinking, “What if it worked this time?” – The calendar date has finally changed – I learned from mistakes I made on Groundhog Day – I broke free from the monotony – It’s February 3rd and this is the first day of the rest of my life – It started out as a comedy until it wasn’t funny – Felt like a psychological thriller and I wasn’t feeling it – Couldn’t I just fall back asleep then wake up and things would be the way they were before I knew too much? – And… cut! – Ask me about my midlife crisis – Convince me I’m not losing my mind over this – It’s what I get for asking too many questions when no one alive actually has the answers

3rd song: “Adam and Eve” (March 2nd)

If I were Adam and you were Eve, wearing nothing, not even fig leaves, I would keep you far away from the fruit of that tree – You know you’re my obvious weakness – Take me down, I’m easily defeated – I know how we should spend eternity – You have this power over me – Come bother me, baby – It’s obvious it don’t take much – You’re the real temptation I’ve got – So much for enlightenment – We’ll be fine in the dark – You have this power over me – If it were you and me instead of Adam and Eve, I wouldn’t be tempted at all by the fruit of that tree – You know I can never resist you – Always looking for a chance to give in to you – In the Garden of Eden, you’d be all I need – I’d pass at the chance for God to open our eyes, instead remaining unashamed in paradise

4th song: “I’m Taking Over the World Today!” (April 4th)

So many things we’re taught to fear, we don’t have any control of – When information isn’t clear, interpretation rules us – The bad news is there is no good news to consume when you worship at the altar of the temple of doom – Confusion is creeping in but I found another narrative – I rule reality – My kingdom is the middle ground – Hereby I am the king of who proposes truth to me – I’m taking over the world that’s in my mind and I look good in this crown – I’m taking over the world today – Gonna be some changes made – Initiate eminent domain – Stand back as I stake my claim – I’m taking over the world today – So many things we’re taught to love, only cause us to self-destruct – Our peace of mind has a price – We can only take so much – All we’ve really got are a few who love us no matter what – The meaning of life is found in the people who keep showing up

5th song: “People Pleaser” (May 10th)

You might not know it from looking at me now what’s really going down here inside of my heart – I don’t need to be cool – I don’t need to rule the world – But do I need to be needed and do I want to be wanted? Am I a people pleaser to some degree? Is it the reason that I keep showing up? Am I a people pleaser? Is it a part of me? Maybe that’s the way I feel loved? You probably wouldn’t think that somebody like me is really an introvert with an outgoing personality – It’s just the way I cope with keeping people from thinking I’m too quiet to be seen, that I’m invisible or dismissible – I don’t know if in the end if all the love that I give will be equal to the love I get – All I know is when I give, I feel connected to the universe – I started asking cosmic questions then fell under the impression that if no one seems to see me, maybe life is void of meaning – I can’t deny I feel alive and connected to the universe – For better or worse, when I give more than I receive from others – You might not know it from looking at me now what’s really going down here inside of my heart

6th song: “I Can’t Sit Still” (August 19th)

I can’t sit still – I hate the way it feels – I’m wide awake – I could go all day – I can’t sit here as time stands still – I’m outrunning the clock and I love how it feels – I allow no time for the seven deadly sins – I’m not tempted by low hanging fruit – I’m pulling all the stops and I’m picking all the locks – I’m pursuing higher altitudes – I can’t sit still – I’ve just got to move these bones – I might have ADHD and I’m finding this out on my own – I’ll sleep when I’m dead and even then I will bet I still won’t know how to rest – I always need a good challenge while trying to balance all the thoughts running through my head

7th song: “What If This Is All There Is?” (August 26th)

What if this is all there is? What if this is all we’ve got? What if we just cease to exist? What if this isn’t what we thought? Who else can I ask? Who has answers for the questions I have? No one really knows for sure: How did this begin? How does this thing end? Are we living in a cosmic accident? What if we created God to give us hope through empty chaos? With no fear of hell or reward of heaven, would the way we live be any different? What if all we have is this life to spend time with those who we would miss? What would I change? What would I say? What if this is all there is?

8th: “Ego Death” (September 6th)

I painted a picture, then it came to life – It was so real, right here – Then it disappeared – I wrote a song, then the words came true – They guided me and delighted me – Then they left the room – I played a part on the world’s great stage – My role was just an act – Then I felt betrayed – The end is the beginning – The beginning is the end – Take the time to build it – Tear it down again – Light myself on fire – Dissolve and deconstruct – Collapse into the chaos, then rise back up

9th: “Happiness is a Choice” (September 17th)

Happiness is a choice I have to make each day – Despite what may happen, the decision must be made – Joy is in my heart but how I feel is still so real – Happiness is a choice I have to make each day – Gratitude is a choice I have to make each day – Despite the imperfections that settle into place – Joy is in my heart but how I feel is still so real – Gratitude is a choice I have to make each day – Trusting God is a choice I have to make each day – Despite His higher ways I tend to pray that I could change – Joy is in my heart but how I feel is still so real – Trusting God is a choice I have to make each day – This whole fallen world condition was never my idea – Keeps it from being easy to reach a sense of inner peace – I wish that suffering was not a thing that God allowed on Earth, for what that’s worth – This whole fallen world condition was never my idea, for what that’s worth

10th: “Give Life Meaning” (November 17th)

Once more, with feeling – How do I make life meaningful again? What is truth? I am seeking – How do I make life meaningful again? A bit numb to the feeling – How do I make life beautiful again? If seeing is believing, how do I make life beautiful again? The older I get the less there is new to experience – The more I learn the less I know what to do with all of this – Seems a little empty but I know that it can’t be – The older I get the less surprises there are to see – Time goes faster now – I’m left with just memories – Seems a little quiet like something is not right – What if the meaning of life is to give life meaning? What if beauty is what I’m creating?

11th: “Astronomy” (November 22nd)

I look up at the stars and the constellations – God’s ancient map for us here below – It’s an open-ended universe – Are we the only intelligent life? All I know is God is behind it all – I look out from the Oregon coast into the ocean – I see the edge of the world but I don’t feel alone – I look out from reality into the abstract – All I know is God is behind it all – Living is random – Dying is weird – I don’t know what will happen – So much is unclear – And I’m still here

12th: “Watch It Work Itself Out” (November 24th)

Quite the conundrum – A perilous paradox – Already opened up Pandora’s Box – Watch it work itself out – No, I’m not worried – This isn’t how we go – We make it to the sequel – A future to behold – Watch it work itself out – So hold your breath and hold my hand – Watch it work itself out – If love always wins and hope expands – Watch it work itself out – Happily ever after is such a relative phrase – What tends to matter is how you live day to day – Watch it work itself out

Now it’s time for me to start practicing and learning the songs I have already written for 2025. See ya next year!