People

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How Metallica’s Song “Prince Charming” Explores Parenting Gone Wrong

Metallica’s now 20 year-old song “Prince Charming” from their 1997 Reload album, is told from the collection of perspectives of unfortunate people who have ended up in undesirable situations as adults; being deemed disappointments and/or threats in society.

They are self-described as junkies, prostitutes, sufferers of suicidal tendencies, and potentially dangerous loners. In other words, they are the kinds of social outcasts who Jesus seemed to care so much about; which in turn infuriated the religious zealots.

The chorus of song presents an unexpected twist, as the focus is turned to the parent of that social outcast:

“Hey, look, it’s me! What no one wants to see.

See what you brought this world… Hey Ma! Look, it’s me!””

It’s a reminder that even the people who are seen as lowliest in the world, still had parents who to some degree, had a major influence on how that their child would group up; for better or worse.

One of the reasons Metallica has become one of my favorite bands is that they are able to expose our conscious minds to the darker side of morality, especially in songs like “Sad But True,” “Devil’s Dance”, and “Am I Savage?”

I enjoy the challenge of these kinds of songs; as they serve as a subtle yet blunt reminder that life is not simply as “right or wrong” as we would like for it to be. This is evident in popular TV shows like Breaking Bad and Lost, where even the good guys struggle with being bad guys themselves.

The older I get, the more I understand how truly imperfect I am as a human being. So there’s definitely some irony in the fact that I am responsible for morally leading two young children.

Imperfect adults parenting imperfect children. I suppose there’s a learning curve in there for all of us.

1 Comment Posted on fatherhood, new house, parenting, People, Uncategorized

Dear Jack: The Dr. Suess Playhouse You Built with Your Cousin

6 years, 8 months.

Dear Jack,

It’s funny to see what happens when you let two almost 1st grader cousins entertain themselves at Nonna and Papa’s house. All it took was a few stuffed animals, a Cozy Coupe, a play tunnel, and the furniture in the living room.

The next thing I knew, you both had built a Dr. Suess style playhouse!

Apparently, the entry way was a slide that was prompted up on the couch. Once you tested out that out several times, you built the cabin space, thanks to the recliner couch and your favorite blanket.

Once that was complete, you and your cousin enjoyed the fruits of your labor by secretly sharing some snacks and toys underneath the blanket ceiling.

During the course of the weekend, there were several modifications; one including the giant D.A.R.E. bear at the end of the tunnel. I’m not really sure what purpose he served, but there was no need for me to question it. As long as it made sense to the two of you, it made sense to me!

Clearly, your Dr. Suess style playhouse is the modern twist on the classic children’s fort.

I’m sure in your mind, the playhouse was huge. When you’re young, things seem much bigger than they are; especially when imagination is heavy in the mix.

You literally spent hours building, rebuilding, and playing in it. And my favorite part about was, no one had to tell the two of you to go imagination and figure out something fun to do.

It just happened.

Obviously, you both were able to make something exciting out of something ordinary. That skill will get you far in the life.

I have a feeling that the next time you visit, the next playhouse will be even more extravagant… and bizarre!

Love,

Daddy

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5 Reasons It Took Me 7 Years to Finally Decide to Take a DNA Test (through MyHeritage)

Back in 2010 when the TV show “Who Do You Think You Are?” premiered, I learned how it had become possible to take a simple DNA test and find out my ethnicity. What took me so long, though? If finding out my own ethnicity has always been important to me, why I wasn’t I one of the first people in line to take a DNA test.

These were the 5 obstacles I had to overcome, to get me to the point where I finally purchased my DNA test through MyHeritage.

1- The Perception of Difficult Access– Until I started seeing commercials for these tests a couple of years ago, I always assumed I had to drive hours to certain cities where these tests were conducted and pay at least $1,000. So I didn’t bother looking into it. Finally, a few years ago, I starting seeing commercials on YouTube, making me aware how I could just buy one off the Internet for $100; but I still didn’t immediately react.

2- Having to Wait for Results– Perhaps the main reason is that in an age of instant gratification, I didn’t want to have to go through the process: Go to the website, pull out my wallet and type in my credit card info, wait a week for them to mail me the test, take the test, mail the test back, then wait a month for them to mail back the results.

3- Paying the Money for It– I didn’t want to have to part with 100 bucks of my own “blow money”. (This is a Dave Ramsey term, which means that my wife and I have a limited set amount of money we can spend on ourselves for things other than paying the bills.) It’s not that $100 was too high of a price point, but it’s just there were other things I wanted more. Somehow at age 36, I have apparently acquired all the toys I have always wanted. Or more importantly, MyHeritage was having a sale.

4- Needing Assurance of Specific Results– It was my assumption that if I bought my test from the “wrong company”, it wouldn’t be specific enough. But then I watched a commercial for MyHeritage in which an African-American took the test and learned he is 3% Finnish. After hearing MyHeritage’s test was that specific, not just simply telling him he was 3% Scandinavian or Northern European, I realized this test was legit.

5- Wanting Confirmation from an Actual User– My final step in choosing MyHeritage was when I sent a message to them on Twitter, asking them if the test could discover Jewish DNA. Not only was MyHeritage quick to respond from their Twitter account, but so was an apparently unaffiliated girl from Tel Aviv, Israel with the handle, @shaindlinger. She testified to me that the test confirmed she is Jewish; which therefore answered my question. So she was the final element in my decision to choose MyHeritage for my DNA test.

It took overcoming all this to get where I am today. And now, we shall all wait until September 2nd at the latest, for me to reveal the results. Stay tuned…

And if you’re interested in taking a DNA test like I did, here’s the link to MyHeritage.

1 Comment Posted on People, Storytelling, Uncategorized

I Will Be the 1st Person You Know Who Actually Took a DNA Test to Find Out Their Ethnicity (MyHeritage Results by September 2nd)

Some people could care less about what shows up in their family tree. They will just sort of laugh it off with, “Yeah, I’m pretty much a mutt, I guess… A little English, a little Irish, maybe some German- I even heard there’s some Native American Indian in there too.”

But I am not one of those people.

Instead, I am Nick Shell. Therefore, I have always been fascinated by the mystery of my ethnicity.

I suppose I have somewhat of an advantage in that I know for a fact that all my great-grandparents on my mom’s side were born in another country:

Her grandparents on her father’s side were born in Italy and her grandparents on her mother’s side were born in Mexico. It’s just always been taken for granted that my mother is half Italian and half Mexican.

But I can no longer assume that every ancestor on my mom’s side was either 100% Italian or 100% Mexican. Besides, “Mexican” isn’t actually a race; as I understand that Mexicans are ultimately an ethnic mix of Native Americans and Europeans.

Over the years, my mom has reminded me of what she heard as a young girl, when she was around the Italian half of the family: “Just because we have the Metallo name and we’re Italian, that doesn’t mean that’s all we are. There’s other stuff in there too: A little bit of Greek, a little bit of French, and a little bit of Jewish…”

 

And before my Mexican grandmother passed away last year, she told me something I never heard her say before; that when she was a little girl, she saw family members “who had black skin and tight, curly hair.” I believe it is possible there is actually a few drops of African blood in me.

As for my dad’s side of the family, no one really knows. A few years ago, my dad received a book containing all the family tree records, but the names all seem to be predictably “WASP”: White Anglo-Saxon Protestant.

But I won’t be wondering much longer. Because as of Saturday, July 22nd, I mailed off the DNA test I bought from MyHeritage. The results should be back within 4 to 6 weeks from that day; which would be August 19th be at the soonest, and September 2nd at the latest.

As you can imagine, I am looking forward to finding out the results! No matter what the results reveal, I am sure I will be surprised…

Even though I paid $79 (normally $99) plus shipping, I see there are running a special that ends tonight, on July 31st; for just $69.

And if you’re interested in taking a DNA test like I did, here’s the link to MyHeritage.

3 Comments Posted on People, Storytelling, Uncategorized

How My Stupid 2003 Selfie in Bangkok Foreshadowed the Appearance of My Campbell’s Soup Doppelganger in 2012

I spent the summer of 2003 teaching English in Nonthaburi, Thailand at Global English School; basically in the heart of Bangkok. That was before the days of Facebook and digital cameras. So I used disposable cameras to document my experience serving as an ESL teacher that summer.

As I was packing up during my final days there that July, getting ready for my next semester back at Liberty University in Lynchburg, Virginia, I felt the need to use up the last few shots on the roll of the last disposable camera.

Even though this happened pretty much exactly 14 years ago, I still remember it clearly. Perhaps I was even inspired by Zach Braff, the star of one of my favorite TV shows at the time, Scrubs.

I took a stupid selfie with that last shot on the disposable camera. Again, Facebook wasn’t a thing back then. So really, who would even be seeing the photo?

Until today, I forgot about that picture. But as I was thinking about my goal of meeting my doppelganger, who currently can be found on the cover of the package of Campbell’s Go Southwest Style Chicken with Quinoa soup, it hit me:

“Hey, my stupid 2003 Bangkok selfie is eerily similar to how my doppelganger has the same hairstyle and is looking to the side, with his mouth open.”

In other words, I did “the Cambell’s Go Southwest Style Chicken with Quinoa look” first, back in 2003. It would be nearly a decade later, in 2012, that the Campbell’s Go campaign would take place, and my unknown twin would do the much more famous version of the look.

However, I’m sure that when I got back from Thailand in the summer of 2003, my sister happened to see that silly photo I made of myself.

Perhaps it made it only that much easier for her to spot the package of soup at the grocery store and send me a picture of it, sincerely asking if that was me on the soup package.

I know this all might sound like I’m obsessing over finding and meeting my doppelganger, but that’s because… I am.