Songs I Wrote in 2023: “Rescuer” – 5th of 13

While writing my Enneagram book this year, I was inspired to compose a song about Enneagram 4. My son is a 5 wing 4, so I have definitely witnessed his need for a “rescuer”, though he won’t let it be me because I continually make myself too available for him.

Here is the song this concept inspired:

You think you need a rescuer – Someone to help you feel special – You think it could never be me because I’m not the one who’s out of reach – It’s a complex where you see yourself as different – Like an outsider could never understand it – But I’m standing here describing it to you – Maybe I need a rescuer too? What if all this time you believed a lie that something was missing in you? What if all this time everything you needed was never out of view? What if you only chase the things that always run away? What if you never embrace the things that ever keep you safe in this world? What if all this time I was more than qualified to empathize with you? What if all this time I could see the blind spots that covered your eyes?

Songs I Wrote in 2023: “What’s Mine is Yours and Always Was” – 2nd of 13

In my 2nd song I wrote this year, I thought deeply about how children never have the opportunity to accept an invitation into this world, yet we as parents bring them here, for better and for worse.

This mirrors how God as our Creator does not ask us if we wanted to exist either, yet we are brought into a world where we become responsible and accountable for our decisions and actions.

Specifically, I wrote this song for my son. I reference how I have followed him around with a camera his whole life, as I have documented the story of his life on my website; ever since my wife and I found out she was pregnant with him.

I reference the Bible, in comparing my vision for him in the way God describes his relationship with us.

In these lyrics, I also point out how my own perception of time is undeniably based on my observation of him growing up.

Here are the lyrics to “What’s Mine is Yours and Always Was”:

I’m sorry, I never thought to ask – Did you want to be born into this world where nothing is ever promised how long it will last? Was I lonely? Was it selfish of me to give you life when I’m confused by mine? This place is not exactly what I’d call paradise – One day is thousand years – A lifetime of souvenirs – Good memories to overcome our shame and fears – The days are long and the years are short – I’ve seen it all but there still is more – Getting close to point where you can take it from here – I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper – Not to harm you, no – Plans to give you hope – I know the plans I have for you, plans for a future – No matter what you do, I’m still gonna love you – What’s mine is yours and always was – What’s mine is yours – It always was – With my camera, I followed you your entire life – I hope you didn’t mind – I may not be inside the shot, but I was always there – When you’re older, I hope you look back and see the ways I gave you all I had – I was always far from perfect but I was always there

Dear Jack: A Perfect Picture of You as a Teenager

13 years old.

Dear Jack,

You’re now a couple of weeks into being a teenager and I am now seeing everything you do through that lens.

Last week while we were in Alabama for Thanksgiving, you spent some time with your cousins. For a day or so there, I honestly had no clue where you were nor what you were doing. I just knew you were having a good time and in good hands, with Aunt Dana and Uncle Andrew keeping you entertained.

Aunt Dana sent me a silly photo of you, going cross-eyed over ice cream; with your cool hairstyle and sports-themed clothing.

She provided no explanation nor caption.

I simply responded to her, “That checks out.”

Love,

Daddy

Dear Holly: Upgrading to a Big Bowl Now, Like the Rest of Our Family

7 years, 7 months.

Dear Holly,

I make every effort on my end to capture and document each little moment of you growing up. This week was when you decided it was time to upgrade from the smaller, plastic “kid friendly” bowl you have been using to eat from your entire life, to the regular ceramic bowls that the rest of our family eats from.

With you being our “baby”, I always perceive it as a delicate balance between encouraging you to become more independent and to still appreciate being young.

Part of the special connection you and I have is that I unashamedly am going through my official midlife/existential crisis, while you help remind me each day how to notice and enjoy the simple things.

Love,

Daddy

Dear Jack: Your 13th Birthday Party with Your Friends

13 years old.

Dear Jack,

You carefully/casually planned your 13th birthday party:

Start out with you and your friends shooting each other with Orbeez guns in our cul-de-sac. Play some basketball in the dead-end next to our house. Get some grub at Culver’s.

And your party played out effortlessy. In fact, Mommy and I laughed at the fact that you didn’t really need our help at all!

Granted, I incorporated a bar mitzvah moment in the middle of it.

You are now 13 years old. It makes me so happy to see you at this age!

I am so proud to be your dad.

 

Love,

Daddy