New Status Symbol Now Unlocked: Old Enough to Actually Have Friends Again

If you can believe it, yesterday marked the 5 year anniversary of the beginning of the Covid Shutdown of 2020.

Later that year, my wife and I planned our first ever “vacation without the kids”. Based on travel restrictions at the time, we chose as our destination: the great outdoors of Colorado.

Before we left, I made a point to reach out to my friend Josh Johnson, who I had heard moved there. He and I had not seen each other since we graduated high school together in 1999.

The vacation to Colorado was definitely one of my favorites, as it was, but seeing Josh again made it even better.

This past week, Josh happened to be in town from Colorado, so we caught up again; which made 40 years since originally meeting in pre-school at Fort Payne First Methodist Church in 1985.

It was while meeting with him this time that I realized: One of my favorite things to do in life is to hang out with people.

In other words, to be social without any agenda. Just to be human like we were designed.

I do remember telling my mom, “I’m big now. I’m ready to go to school.” I remember her taking my picture at our house before she drove me for my first day of pre-school in January 1985.

But it wasn’t about me going there because I wanted to learn. I was ready to go to school because my 4 year-old brain understood clearly: “I am a social person. I need to be around people.”

And anyone who knows me as an adult in modern-day, knows this: I am a social person. I need to be around people.

In hindsight, I now realize that ever since my job went remote 5 years ago, I have been putting in that much more of an effort to proactively connect with people; outside of my own house.

I’m at the gym every morning before work. I schedule a lunch meeting with at least one friend each Friday. I am part of a Jeep club in my town as well.

Anytime there is a social event going on where I live, I am definitely there.

It is now becoming common knowledge that men, especially, tend to forsake other male friendships once they get married and have kids; in addition to the responsibility of their careers.

Male friendships become the lowest priority, by default. That has certainly been the case for me.

But noticeably, these past 5 years since the Covid Shutdown of 2020 have noticeably improved the quality of my life.

Granted, part of that is because my kids are older now and don’t require as much constant attention. And as mentioned before, I don’t have to commute to and from work anymore.

Perhaps it’s a rite of passage for men in their 40s: That there is suddenly more time and space to focus on having other males as friends again.

For me, it’s pretty much a status symbol I have now unlocked.

 

Dear Holly: Signs of Life

8 years, 10 months.

Dear Holly,

Last week Mommy traveled to California to spend some time with Grandma in Sacramento. Apparently, it is customary that because you are still a little girl, you definitely are still entitled to a souvenir every time she leaves the state of Alabama.

Even though you already had 8 other Warmies (microwaveable stuffed animals that smell like lavender when you heat them up), you needed another: This time, a hamster.

Before you left for school yesterday morning, you made sure your new hamster was all set up for the day: He watched TV and ate popcorn until you got home.

It is not uncommon for me to discover your Warmies throughout the house; staged like real life animals and/or babies.

I love being your dad.

Love,

Daddy

Dear Jack: Smart Money

14 years, 3 months.

Dear Jack,

You are the smartest person I know. That means my life is a little bit easier, accordingly.

We never have to ask you to do your homework, because you always get it done during school. Somehow you never study for tests, yet your grades are always good.

So this week when I learned you had earned the privilege of “skipping out” of your semester tests due to your consistently high grades, I was very happy for you.

This is a reminder that I am a “fun” dad. My rule: No school? No bedtime.

I don’t care. Stay up super late playing your PlayStation 5 games. Be a 14 year-old boy.

But of course, you elected to spend one of your days off from school working for Nonna and Papa; tearing down some old playground equipment in their background and helping with the insulation process under their house.

So in review: You’re a smart kid who plays hard and works hard. I endorse this.

Love,

Daddy

Dear Jack: You are Currently about 5′ 3″

14 years, 3 months.

Dear Jack,

When we bought you new shoes to begin your 8th grade school year, I learned that you officially have a larger shoe size than me. And since then, you have continued growing taller.

I don’t think I grew after the 8th grade. I’m pretty sure I’ve been 5′ 9″ since 1995.

You were curious enough this weekend for me to measure you. Looks like you are currently a little over 5′ 3″.

But if your shoe size is already size 10, it seems like by the time you are finished growing, there’s a decent chance you will end up being at least a little taller than me.

We’ll know for sure in a few more years.

Love,

Daddy

Dear Jack: Going to Church on Wednesday Nights

14 years, 3 months.

Dear Jack,

For me, being active in the youth group at my church was a huge part of my teenage years.

Of course, as soon as you started school here in Alabama, you quickly were recruited by your new friends to join the football team. And it just so happened that several of them all went to the same church.

We are there every Sunday as a family, but specifically on Wednesdays while your sister is at dance class down the road, I drive you to church.

I definitely appreciate that you want to be there with the dozens of other kids in your youth group, while I am at the men’s Bible study.

Last Wednesday as we crossed the street to the church, two of your friends ran to catch up to you: “Hey, there’s Jack!”

I was so proud. Not only do you want to go to church on Wednesday nights, but you have friends waiting for you there.

 

Love,

Daddy