ENFJ, Self-Preservation Enneagram 9 Wing 8: I Am Officially a Fun Guy!

Fact: I am officially a fun guy. Specifically, I am a friendly, sociable extrovert. It took the events of 2024 in order for me to understand this.

It becomes common at the end of a year for people to say, “I can’t wait to see what exciting new things next year has in store!”

Well, here I am at the end of a year and I can very clearly express what 2024 had in store for me. This would be the year that I finally mapped out the rules of what defines the word “fun” for me, and therefore, what actually allows me to experience the concept of happiness.

Moving from the heavily (over)populated Nashville area of over a million people halfway through this year, to the less than 15,000 population Appalachian mountain town in Alabama we have now lived the second half of the year in, I have a clear understanding of why I am happy and loving life again.

Because my definition of fun explicitly involves the following:

A) Not being in traffic or in big, chaotic crowds.

B) Not having to pay to park or to pay an admission to get in.

C) Not having to wait in a long line.

D) Not having to “run around” or “be busy”.

E) Being able to spend quality time with people.

It’s funny how quickly my perspective of life changed after we moved to Alabama and we got all of the house renovations completed:

I could finally chill out. Because where I live in Alabama, my rules for having fun and being happy easily apply. Whereas in Nashville, they rarely did.

It is true I am indeed a fun and extroverted person, but I naturally become the opposite (stoic and introverted) when I have to be in traffic or chaotic crowds, when I have to pay to park or pay an admission to get in, when I have to wait in a long line, when I feel like I am having to run around or be busy, or when I am not able to spend quality time with people.

Our family’s most successful vacation ever, this past summer to Oregon, helped reinforce that my “rules for fun” not only ensured that I was operating in my default extroverted personality, but it also meant my family had more fun as individuals and collectively too.

As a ENFJ, self-preservation Enneagram 9 Wing 8, I instinctively seek experiences where I can be challenged in some way, while still feeling comfortable in the process. That is one of my gifts I offer to those around me: To create and maintain an environment where everyone feels comfortable, challenged, and valued.

In a good way, I feel this pressure to ensure that we are all collectively having a good time.

I think back to the motto my wife and I curated this year:

“Give life meaning and creative beautiful experiences.”

Moving here to Alabama and living a “quiet life” has now made it remarkably easier for me to be my true extroverted self; who is creative, fun, and happy to be around.

That is the world I live in now.

So yeah, I’m a big fan of 2024.

Dear Jack: It Finally Felt Like Christmas

14 years, 1 month.

Dear Jack,

For the past several weeks, I have had this habit of saying out loud, “I feel like this is the first time since being a parent that I am no longer the Grinch at Christmas. This is the year my heart finally grew three times larger.”

No need to pack the car full of all the Christmas gifts and drive three hours, only to not be able to sleep in our own house.

As for you though, that was apparently a big part of the feeling of Christmas for you. That was the only version of Christmas you ever knew: Going to Nonna and Papa’s house.

So for our first Christmas as a family here in Alabama, after we opened gifts here as a family of four at our own house, we drove up to Nonna and Papa’s house to spend the rest of the day with the rest of the family.

At the end of the day, as we were driving back home, you finally confirmed: “Now, it finally felt like Christmas.”

 

Love,

Daddy

Dear Holly: You Did the Dishes on Your Own!

8 years, 8 months.

Dear Holly,

It is a known fact that I can not chill out enough to go to bed until all the dishes are done. In fact, the moment I get done with work everyday, I immediately clean all the dishes in the sink from throughout the day so far; so that it’s less intimidating to tackle the additional dishes that will need to be cleaned after dinner.

So I was so delighted this past Monday that without saying a word, you pulled up a stool to the kitchen sink and began washing the dishes from the Christmas cake you and Mommy made for our upcoming dinner party that night.

I just love the thought of you becoming my new dishwashing buddy. I think we could make a really good team!

 

Love,

Daddy

Dear Jack: Christmas Cookies

14 years, 1 month.

Dear Jack,

I had no expectations of you joining Mommy and your sister in making Christmas cookies this year. I figured that surely you had outgrown such an activity at this point.

But since our family’s move to Alabama this year, one of the things I officially learned about you is that traditions play an extremely important role in your life.

So when it was time to start making Christmas cookies, you definitely showed up to participate.

Granted, you put your personal spin on the tradition by veering away from using the standard cookie cutters we had and instead customizing the shapes yourself.

Some of them were even 3-D.

They may look different from the other cookies, but I know for a fact you didn’t change the recipe of your cookies.

So at least all the cookies taste the same.

All I care about is that you had fun participating in a family tradition. Though actually, my only contribution was taking pictures of the event!

Love,

Daddy

Dear Holly: Our Whole Finally Joined the Christmas Parade!

8 years, 7 months.

Dear Holly,

Apparently the plan was for you and your brother to ride with Nonna and Papa in the Christmas parade last Friday, as Papa is part of the local Jeep club.

But the night before, there was so much logistical planning involved. I explained to Mommy, “Okay, so before the parade starts, we need to park one of our cars on one side of the town to pick up the kids once the parade is over, so we can easily get to the kids to take them home. It’s going to be so cold and they will already be outside for so long already.”

She simply responded, “Do we all just want to be the parade?”

And that is how our whole family ended up throwing candy in the Fort Payne Christmas parade. I feel confident that we have now begun a new Christmas family tradition here on our first Christmas as a family in Alabama.

Love,

Daddy