Author: Family Friendly Daddy Blog

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“Fort Payne, Alabama” – Song 3 – Enneagram 6 Songwriter – Analyzing Lyrics – Themes of Belonging and Security

My 3rd song is a clearly a prime example of me, unknowingly at the time, showing my true Enneagram 6 identity: focused on belonging and security.

Released on October 29th, 2019, it had been nearly a decade since one the most monumental events of my life: My wife and I had moved back to my hometown on Fort Payne, Alabama; with our newborn son, without jobs, hoping and praying that our leap of faith and our new life would work out.

It didn’t. We last 9 months before we had to move back to Nashville, in humility.

This song was me accepting, in hindsight, that though I had moved back to my hometown because I saw it as a place of stability and security, it ended up being the opposite for me.

The irony, all these years later, is that my wife and I can easily work for home; wherever “home” happens to be. We could move back to my hometown again now and it would probably be fine.

However, because of living through that in 2010 and 2011, I now feel more stability and security where I live now in Tennessee.

Here are the lyrics:

“I was born and raised in Fort Payne, Alabama – Baptized and saved in Fort Payne, Alabama – I tried to move back years ago but it wasn’t quite the same – Time had moved too fast or slow and I couldn’t keep the pace – I moved out, I moved on, I found a new place to call home – But those Alabama back roads still show me where to go – I married a girl from northern California – Where they make the wine and they grow those big Sequoyahs – We planted our roots in Tennessee and we started a family – If you said this was my fate or fortune I think I would agree – I grew up in the southern Appalachians – Between Desoto Falls and Little River Canyon – If you called me Mother Nature’s son, I’d take it as a compliment – I’d trade a Lexus for an RV, a mansion for a tent – I spent the first 35 years of my life trying to know who I should be – All these puzzles pieces here, it’s more than I need – There’s a difference between who I used to be – Versus who I am now when I’m back in this town – Is this still the same place? Maybe I’m the one who’s changed”

So looking back on this song I wrote nearly 4 years ago, can you see the Enneagram 6? Can you see my longing for security and confirmation of my own existence?

Feel free to leave a comment. I’d love to hear your thoughts!

And now you can listen to the song, below, if you wish:

 

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“Tripping on Existence” – Song 2 – Enneagram 6 Songwriter – Analyzing Lyrics – Themes of Belonging and Security

In my 2nd song, we see an official embracing of the “counterphobic” aspect of my Enneagram 6 personality; identifying as a person who faces my fears, instead of running from them. Specifically, I am disassociating myself from the general population of people who I realized I no longer needed to give my time, energy, money, emotions, and attention to.

It was me officially and knowingly beginning my journey of emotional intelligence.

I recorded this song on October 28th, 2019. At that point in my life, both my salary and my wife’s had doubled; as we had both began working at different employers.

We had recently paid off all our debts and moved into a brand-new, bigger house in the perfect neighborhood. For the first time in my marriage and career, we were not in debt.

These events triggered an “existential crisis”, which I am still working through. Since then, I have felt like I suddenly climbed to the top of Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs pyramid.

Granted, much of my identity will always be wrapped up in “love/belonging”. But ultimately, I have been living in the “self-actualization” phase for a few years now.

The lyrics of “Tripping on Existence” serve as a clear realization of my sudden introduction of my existential crisis- or as some would say, “mid-life crisis”:

“Hi, I don’t care, thanks – I unplugged from existence, at least the version from before – I switched of the breaker – I don’t care if I’m hated, or even worse ignored – I wish I was here – I’ve been gone too long, I’ve begun to disappear – I can’t relate – I’ve seen too much, this is my escape – The best way to explain this: I’m tripping on existence – A dream inside a dream – An alternate dimension – I guess that I should mention – You can borrow my spare key – I am phoning home – But years have passed, now the number’s changed – So what happens next? Expect a reboot, then get born again”

So looking back on this song I wrote nearly 4 years ago, can you see the Enneagram 6? Can you see my longing for security and confirmation of my own existence?

Feel free to leave a comment. I’d love to hear your thoughts!

And now you can listen to the song, below, if you wish:

 

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“Maybe It’s a Dream” – Song 1 – Enneagram 6 Songwriter – Analyzing Lyrics – Themes of Belonging and Security

Since 2014, I have written over 60 songs that I have published on my YouTube channel.

This past year, I dove deep into understanding myself better than I ever have before. I became certified as an Enneagram coach, which has ultimately been my own personal equivalent of experimenting with a revealing psychedelic like ayahuasca.

I am officially a Counterphobic Enneagram 6 Wing 7, Sexual/Social Subtype.

Ultimately, here’s the breakdown: I find meaning in life by seeking security through building and maintaining relationships with people; which ultimately makes me feel like I exist. I am constantly looking for what might go wrong with the situation, so that I can either prevent it, or go down with the ship and learn from it. And despite living in constant anxiety, I face my fears head on. I am the loyal skeptic, which is ultimately a paradox: Both an introvert and extrovert; both a pessimist and an optimist.

So in addition to now understanding my fundamental psychological operating system, there is also the fact that when I write a new song, it draws out of me, subconscious thoughts I am often not aware of.

I am excited and curious to start turning my lyrics inside out. Let’s start with the very first song I published on my YouTube channel: “Maybe It’s a Dream.”

I originally wrote it on January 11th, 2014; when I was 33 years old. However, I didn’t actually record it until April 16th, 2018; just 4 days before my 37th birthday. (I’m 41 now.)

In hindsight, I don’t like the way I performed this song. The key is too low and I over-pronounce the words.

But ultimately, through this new series of unpacking the psychology of all the songs I’ve written, one by one, I want to finally focus on the true poetry of my lyrics, as opposed to simply the musical aspect.

Here are the lyrics to “Maybe It’s a Dream”:

I am a skeleton with meat on my bones – I walk around with secrets nobody knows – I am a figment of my own imagination, I bet – It’s all, it’s all, in my head – Seven billion people ride a planet that spins – A thousand miles an hour and I’m just one of them – Another stranger who’s no stranger than all the rest – It’s all, it’s all, in my head – It feels like no one knows me anymore – And I start to think that I’m safer when ignored – My head’s in the clouds but my feet are on the ground – So tell me now, where can I be found? It’s like a dream where I can’t stop falling from the bottom to the top – Maybe it’s a dream where I’m drowning out a sea – I’m coming up for air – But is this even real? My thoughts are captive and I’ve swallowed the key – I’ve locked myself out of the world so it seems – My perspective of reality will die with me – It’s all, it’s all make believe – With these distractions it’s so hard to exist – It’s survival of the mentally fittest – I’m still standing here so I guess I know that this means – It’s all, it’s all in my head 

So looking back on this song I wrote nearly a decade ago, can you see the Enneagram 6? Can you see my longing for security and confirmation of my own existence?

Feel free to leave a comment. I’d love to hear your thoughts!

And now you can listen to the song, below, if you wish:

 

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Dear Holly: What Will Really Matter a Year from Now?

6 years, 4 months.

Dear Holly,

For nearly a month, I had an event on the calendar:

I had been invited to a men’s breakfast for last Saturday, that I heard about through my F3 group.

In my mind, I had really built up this event; it was announced there was be Texas beef brisket.

However, the day before, you learned that Mommy would not be available to take you to your classmate’s Chuck E. Cheese birthday party; which just happened to be taking place during the same time as the men’s breakfast.

You began crying.

But not for long. Because I decided to take you to the birthday party instead.

And as for breakfast, I took you and your brother to a perfect Greek bakery near our house.

It was a no-brainer, choosing you over my own plans.

I just simply thought, “A year from now, what will really matter?”

The answer: Memories with you.

 

Love,

Daddy

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Dear Jack: I’m the Parent Who Takes You to the Birthday Parties

11 years, 10 months.

Dear Jack,

In our household, there are certain responsibilities that Mommy and I have assigned to ourselves:

She handles the budget, the scheduling, the travel plans, and the school details.

I handle cleaning the bathrooms, taking out the garbage, vacuuming the floors, half of the grocery shopping, killing the bugs, doing my own laundry, most of my own meals, and… taking you and your sister to kids’ birthday parties.

Last Saturday, you and your sister had a 10 AM Chuck E. Cheese party 20 miles north of us that lasted 3 hours, to be followed by another 3 hour party at your friend’s house about 10 miles south of us.

And the thing is, all 3 of us had fun all day.

Even me. For some reason, I enjoy shuttling you and your sister to your friends’ birthday parties.

Whereas if I was running around town having to do shopping and other errands, I would be exhausted and angry.

But for some reason, I enjoy being involved taking you to these parties.

I suppose it’s a way I feel like I bond with you; while in some way, reliving my own childhood; 30 years later.

 

Love,

Daddy