Author: Family Friendly Daddy Blog

Leave a comment Posted on July 20, 2014 parenting, Storytelling

How To Talk Like A Man (Includes Infographic)

February 13, 2014 at 6:08 pm , by Nick Shell

3 years, 2 months.

Dear Jack,

I’m starting to really appreciate infographics. They provide an organized visual for interesting research; like this one, below, on sending text messages:

69% of all respondents said they “would be lost” without the ability to text

Men text more than women (an average of 17 regular contacts)

Men send shorter messages

they generally see texting as a functional form of communications

Women have an average of 13 regular text contacts. Men are 3x more likely to text work colleagues than women:

Women tend to send longer messages

more likely to say “I love you” via text (54%)

they often use texting to deepen relationships

That’s interesting, yet I’m not at all surprised to see those findings.

Men and women not only think much differently, but they speak much differently to match it. You and I are males, meaning we are wired to speak in a different language than females.

It’s not a bad thing, though it often is a frustrating thing. But it’s also what makes the dynamics between males and females work.

Otherwise, we would function more like robots.

So instead of writing off the other gender because I’m not the best at speaking their language… I’m learning to speak their language.

I’m making myself the victor, not the victim.

Being married to Mommy for 5 and a half years has helped me a lot, via immersion, to learn how to say what I am wanting to say, in a way that others will hear it the way I want to say it.

Similarly, I have learned how to better understand what Mommy actually means versus what it naturally sounded like she was saying- because I was hearing hear with “man” ears.

I will always be very aware in helping you to speak. And I don’t just mean basic sentence structure and vocabulary, as I am right now with you only being 3 years old.

Basically, I mean for the rest of our shared lives- I will be here to help you know how to talk… like a man.

But more importantly, like a man who knows how to speak and listen in a way that is most efficiently understood by the listener; regardless of their gender.

Love,

Daddy

Image By Scratch Wireless

Infographic by Image By Scratch Wireless

Leave a comment Posted on July 20, 2014 parenting, Storytelling

Empathy For Dads Who Can’t See Their Kids Everyday

February 12, 2014 at 7:05 pm , by Nick Shell

3 years, 2 months.

Dear Jack,

I think it’s very important for me to make a regular habit of trying to imagine myself in other people’s shoes. That’s an ability called empathy, by the way.

The older I get, the more perspectives I gain, by seeing life through the eyes of those who have had different experiences than me.

Something I think about sometimes is what it must be like for dads who are not able to see their kids on a daily basis; for whatever reason that may be.

I get to see you everyday. I get to experience life with you- even on those seemingly forgettable days where nothing particularly epic happens. But I am mindful to not take even those days for granted.

However, there a lot of dads who don’t get to see their kids except for certain days of the month.

It’s beyond sad for me to think about that; putting myself in that situation.

Where I work during the day at my H.R. job, I deal mostly with men- many of which only see their kids on the weekends or every other weekend.

Maybe that’s why I am thinking about this today.

If I am honestly and vulnerably putting myself in their shoes, I see such a devastating version of my life; without you, without Mommy too.

You’re part of me; you’re half of me- literally.

How could I function without seeing half of me everyday; a half of me that needs and desires my certain fatherly influence on a regular basis?

That’s beyond a tragedy when I imagine it personally.

So I don’t take it for granted at all that our family lives in the same house and sees each other each day.

I am thankful for what our family has- and I definitely don’t take it lightly. Because I make a habit of empathizing with others, the best I can. It puts things into perspective.

Love, Daddy

Leave a comment Posted on July 20, 2014 parenting, Storytelling

My Son’s Valentine To Himself: A Dog Ticket

February 11, 2014 at 9:14 pm , by Nick Shell

1 Comment Posted on July 20, 2014 funny, parenting

It’s Okay To Wear Your Pajamas To Walmart

February 10, 2014 at 9:15 pm , by Nick Shell

3 months, 2 months.

Dear Jack,

Something I will take pride in is teaching you how to dress appropriately. For example, when you want to impress (or intimidate) someone, wear a necktie.

My (secret) goal is to always “outdress” every other man in the room; particularly in the office. I blame it on the Italian in me.

However, there are certain times in life where that conceptcompletely doesn’t matter at all. The most obvious exception is when you go to Walmart.

Son, you can pretty much wear whatever you want when we go there. I have found the culture there to be extremely accepting.

And that’s exactly what happened last weekend. As Mommy and I are preparing to buy a house later this year, we are prepping our current townhouse to rent. We needed to check out the selection on toilet seat covers- and on a rainy Saturday night, Walmart was the perfect place.

Oh, and of course, we let you have a 98 cent Hot Wheels car and an 88 cent container of bright blue Play-Doh.

With it being all rainy day, you had been in your PJs for most of it. So we figured, why make you change?

After all, considering there is a website called People Of Walmart, which functions as a collection of “the best of the worst dressed” who are secretly photographed by other customers, I figured no one would give you a second look if we carried you around in your doggie pajamas.

I was right. You fit right in.

No need to wear a necktie to Walmart, in other words. But even if you did, I still don’t think you’d get a second look from anyone.

Everyone is accepted just as they are at Walmart. There’s nothing pretentious about it.

Sometimes, that’s actually pretty refreshing.

Love, Daddy

1 Comment Posted on July 20, 2014 Nostalgia, parenting

And Now Your Best Friend Is Moving Away…

February 9, 2014 at 8:59 pm , by Nick Shell

3 years, 2 months.

Dear Jack,

For the past two weekends, we have spent time with Sophie and her parents…

Because, you see, well… Sophie’s moving from Nashville to Alabama in a couple of weeks.

I haven’t necessarily broke the news to you yet.

At least the good part is that where Sophie is moving is only about 2 and a half hours from where Nana and Papa’s house is, which is the halfway point between where we live and where Sophie is moving.

So this is not goodbye…

However, it is definitely a major milestone in your life so far. You and Sophie have known each other since July 2011, when Mommy and I enrolled you at the daycare that you both have remained for the past 2 and a half years.

For the majority of your life, Sophie has been a major part of it. Actually, if I cared enough to do the math, you might even spend more waking hours with her than you do Mommy and I each week.

Yesterday as you and Sophie had an ongoing 1970′s car chase/demolition derby at the indoor playground, her mommy and I talked about the move.

We mutually acknowledged the fact that there’s a good chance you and Sophie won’t actually remember all these fun times you’ve had together.

For the majority of your life, you’ve spent countless hours with someone who has been like a twin sister to you.

But will all this time simply be memories for the parents, more so than the kids?

Here’s how I look at it- this is what I told Sophie’s mommy:

Based on what I learned in Child Psychology in college, the first couple of years of a child’s life are arguably the most important for his or her development and future decisions for the rest of his or her life.

So even if these stories I have written about you and Sophie are, at best, foggy memories to you when I go back a year from now and show you these pictures, I’ll still know that Sophie Culpepper had a lot to do with your understanding of what a true friend really is.

It will be her picture in the dictionary, next to the definition of friend.

I will close by providing links for a dozen of the stories I have written about you two over these past couple of years…

Jack And Sophie: Baby Buddies In Crime (November 17, 2011)

The Toddlers’ Beat Poet Society Of Nashville (June 4th, 2012)

Mall Toddlers: My Idea For A Straight-To-DVD Kids Movie (September 17, 2012)

My Toddler Son, The Pony Whisperer/Natural Laxative (October 11, 2012)

Free Craft Activity For Kids: Home Depot’s Little Helper Headquarters (December 5, 2012)

Forcing Your Kid To Apologize And Hug The Other Kid (February 1, 2013)

My Son’s Alter Ego Is A Schlubby Dinosaur (April 29, 2013)

Still, Though, I Think I’d Be Happy With Just One Kid… (July 4, 2013)

A Southern Fried, Sunday Afternoon Play Date (August 6, 2013)

Finding Non-Petroleum, “Bug Juice” Free Cupcakes (November 15, 2013)