Dear Jack: You Made a Stunt Double for Yourself

11 years.

Dear Jack,

I had just got done talking to you downstairs in the living room. Then, I walked upstairs and saw what appeared to be you… already there!

I immediately questioned how it was possible. Then I realized it was actually a stunt double (or should I say stunt dummy?) you had arranged in your chair.

You began laughing downstairs, as you figured out I had just discovered your creation.

“I made that last night before I went to bed,” you explained.

You and your sister named it “Jackson”.

Jackson literally took the fall for you, as you and your sister gave him a toss down the stairs to see how he would hold up.

Nicely done!

Love,

Daddy

Dear Holly: You’re So Chatty! (And Likely an Enneagram 7, Like Me)

5 years, 7 months.

Dear Holly,

This morning when I woke up at 5:55 AM to go to the gym (which was later than normal for me), you were coming down the stairs.

Normally, I give you a big hug, then you run into the bedroom to talk to Mommy.

But today, you immediately initiated would what become an hour long conversation with me, and would ultimately be the reason why today would be my one day off from the gym this week.

While the majority of your questions for me were light-hearted and hilarious (like, “Daddy, how many bucks will the Tooth Fairy even give me, though?”), I noticed some of them had a darker undertone, alluding to fear and anxiety.

As I’ve begun my certification training this week to become an Enneagram coach, I recognize your behavior, because it’s the same as mine! I think you may be an Enneagram 7 like me.

“Daddy, when I lose a tooth, will it hurt?”

“Daddy, if my toe breaks off, will it grow back?”

“Daddy, how can a skeleton believe in Jesus?” (This makes the 2nd time you’ve asked me this one.)

“Daddy, what can break a board? A person’s hand?”

“Daddy, what can break open a person’s head? Maybe if a house falls on them?”

You are an unbelievably bright, sunny, and optimistic person. You make people laugh and you are constantly moving- and talking!

Ultimately, if you’re like me, this is an attempt to outrun our secret anxieties and fears about how the world actually works.

We’re in this together! I know exactly what it’s like to have a brain that works like yours!

THE ENTHUSIAST
Enneagram Type Seven

The Busy, Variety-Seeking Type:
Spontaneous, Versatile, Acquisitive, and Scattered

Sevens are extroverted, optimistic, versatile, and spontaneous. Playful, high-spirited, and practical, they can also misapply their many talents, becoming over-extended, scattered, and undisciplined. They constantly seek new and exciting experiences, but can become distracted and exhausted by staying on the go. They typically have problems with impatience and impulsiveness. At their Best: they focus their talents on worthwhile goals, becoming appreciative, joyous, and satisfied.

  • Basic Fear: Of being deprived and in pain
  • Basic Desire: To be satisfied and content—to have their needs fulfilled

Love,

Daddy

Dear Jack: You are One Talented Kid! (And an Enneagram 4)

11 years old.

Dear Jack,

It’s not lost on me that you are incredibly smart, as well as talented. You’re the kind of person who is able to turn any project into gold.

Whether its your dedication to Taekwando, or you running and being voted as the Student Council Representative last year, or your ability to barely study yet still get straight A’s.

Selfishly, I’ll admit. That’s one less thing I have to worry about as a parent- knowing that you are an incredibly productive, and creative, person. I don’t have to motivate you- you’re already motivated!

I understand that there’s balance in everything. That especially right now as you are in your pre-teen years, one of the things I need to help you focus on is managing your emotions.

Fortunately, I enrolled this week to begin my training to become a certified Enneagram coach. Or as I like to call it- a cheaper version of a therapist!

I figure… everybody can use a little bit of therapy. I’m already learning how to be a better parent though what I’ve learned about your personality: An Enneagram 4- The Invidualist.

The Sensitive, Introspective Type:
Expressive, Dramatic, Self-Absorbed, and Temperamental

Fours are self-aware, sensitive, and reserved. They are emotionally honest, creative, and personal, but can also be moody and self-conscious. Withholding themselves from others due to feeling vulnerable and defective, they can also feel disdainful and exempt from ordinary ways of living. They typically have problems with melancholy, self-indulgence, and self-pity. At their Best: inspired and highly creative, they are able to renew themselves and transform their experiences.

  • Basic Fear: That they have no identity or personal significance
  • Basic Desire: To find themselves and their significance (to create an
    identity)

Love,

Daddy

Dear Jack: You Got Baptized, 2 Days Before Your 11th Birthday

11 years old.

Dear Jack,

The Sunday before your 11th birthday, less than two weeks ago, our church (Southview Church) was having its quarterly baptism service. After everyone who was scheduled to be baptized, there was an invitation for anyone else who wanted to be baptized; right then and there.

You whispered to Mommy that you wanted to! So I took you up right then to the front of the church- and you were baptized for everyone to see.

When the pastor asked you at what point in your life you believed and trusted in Jesus, you replied: “Since I was born.”

I’m sure that’s how it seems to you; as Mommy and I have always done our best to teach you in the Christian faith.

Specially, it was 4 years ago when you were 7 years old, that you officially prayed to tell Jesus you believed in Him.

You have been curious about being baptized, going back 4 years now. But you felt the time was finally right.

I am so grateful you have made this decision! I am so proud of you.

Love,

Daddy

Dear Holly: Our Friday Dinner Out for Mac-and-Cheese at the Mexican Restaurant

5 years, 7 months. 

Dear Holly,

At this point in my life, I truly do not enjoy eating out at restaurants. I like having complete control over what I eat- and I don’t want to have to pay more for food I can just prepare myself.

However, you have been asking for me to take you back to Acapulco Mexican restaurant near our house; as you declare they make the best mac-and-cheese! That’s where you had your dinner out for your 5th birthday, 7 months ago.

Needless to say, last Friday night, you completely cleaned your plate!

Plus, you were excited because when you ordered root beer with your meal, they brought it out in a real glass bottle instead of a kids’ cup.

I’m glad I could spend that time with you- as I know it meant so much to you!

And spending quality time with you is one of the most important things to me!

Love,

Daddy