The weekend after we found out we were having a baby, we spent 45 bucks on “cute clothes” for Jack at a Carter’s outlet. One of the outfits purchased that day says, “Mommy’s Little Monster”. I have a feeling that this monster-themed attire was designed with the idea in mind of “oh, he’s such a messy little boy… he’s always gettin’ into everything…” . But for me, I look at this whole “boys are little monsters” as a literal thing: Boys are actually a wonderful representation of what classic monsters are in my mind.
So far, having a baby boy has totally met all my expectations as far as his lack of politeness (passing gas while people hold him for the first time) and becoming the baby version of an angry, drunk, and ranting Jack Nicholson the moment he realizes he’s hungry and we didn’t already have a bottle ready for him right that second. Not to mention the percentage of milk that comes out of his mouth as opposed to the amount that goes in and stays in. But I once was (and in a sense, always will be) a boy. Baby Jack is indeed a friendly, little beast. He really sounds and acts like a literal monster.
When he’s sleeping, he often makes this “ghurr, ghurr” sound. And sometimes instead, the noise sounds more like the Smoke Monster from Lost. It doesn’t help that he can’t actually speak yet. How could I not be reminded of a monster when I see a little baby (but big for his age… he looks like he should be six months old) flailing his arms around during pretty much all of his waking hours who makes noises like that scary beast thing (R.O.U.S.) on The Princess Bride? He’s a monster all right. But a loveable one.
Jack is a little bit like the TV version of The Incredible Hulk mixed with Jabba the Hut and a Mongolian warrior. But the most adorable and cuddly version you could imagine. I love having my own little monster around the house. I will teach him everything I know. And that, friends, is the truly scary part about this whole “monster” thing.
The picture above was taken by Joe Hendricks Photography:
In case you don’t know what the Smoke Monster from Lost sounds like, click on this minute-long video clip:
Visuals of the monsters mentioned here today: