My Decision To Unplug From Social Media, Except On Thursday Nights (Including Facebook And My Blog)

Simply put, I’m now consolidating a week’s worth of social media activity into just a couple of hours per week; during a specific window of time, from now on…

My Decision To Unplug From Social Media, Except On Thursday Nights (Including Facebook And My Blog)

Starting 2 weeks ago, I began only publishing new posts here on Family Friendly Daddy Blog on Thursday nights.

Similarly, I am now only logging into Facebook (as well as all other forms of social media; it helps that I don’t have a smart phone) just once a week now on Thursday nights, when I publish my new posts for the week.

I’m also done paying any attention to my “home” page on Facebook, where it shows everyone’s status updates. I just don’t see how that daily exposure is enhancing my life; it only seems to complicate it.

My addiction and attention span to “keeping up” with all that stuff is apparently expired.

I guess moving into our new house has sort of… recalibrated my priorities and changed my mindset.

Ultimately, I don’t want the video game of Facebook or my hobby of blogging to interfere with the actual reality of my life with my family.

I’ve come to the realization that I no longer have to pressure myself the way I did when I was writing for Parents.com for those 3 years when I did The Dadabase.

My Decision To Unplug From Social Media, Except On Thursday Nights (Including Facebook And My Blog)

Something I’ve learned is that I ultimately get as much traffic no matter when I post new stuff, so I might as well just save it all for one day each week.

It’s similar to concept of “binge watching” premium TV shows like Breaking Bad and Man Men. Instead, I’ll be “binge posting” my new publications each Thursday night here on Family Friendly Daddy Blog.

That way I don’t have to be constantly preoccupied with publishing new stuff throughout the week; therefore dividing my attention all week long. Now I can actually live my life with my family without that distraction.

Over the past couple of years now, I’ve struggled with my relationship with Facebook. I see now I used to put way too much thought into it.

Recently we had to go 4 days without Internet as we moved in the new house, and once I did finally check my Facebook, I realized I actually didn’t miss anything.

While Facebook is full of people I care a lot about, the overall emotional intelligence of status updates in my daily feed ultimately seems to clutter my life; not enhance it. I am choosing to pull the plug on my daily exposure to that large daily nose of negativity and sarcasm.

If I am thinking about someone I’m friends with on Facebook, I can go straight to their profile page on Facebook. That way I don’t have to feel compelled to rely on my “home” page to find out on what is supposed to be my social news for the day.

baratunde_fast_company_cover_1200w

I discovered the people I most wish to be like in my circle of friends are the ones who are the least active on Facebook and the most active with their families away from social media.

It’s true; I used to be much more involved with Facebook, as I attempted to be clever and engaging. These days, I suppose I’ve just moved on with my life.

Maybe it’s because this is truly the most settled I’ve felt since getting married.

For the first two years I was married, my wife was getting her Master’s Degree. Then once she received it, she got pregnant with our son.

Next we moved to Alabama to be closer to family and went further into debt; only to eventually move back to Nashville. After that, we had to completely work our way out of debt, other than our mortgage on our townhouse (while I studied for my certification for Human Resources). Finally, we were able tosave up enough money for a down payment on a bigger, more efficient house for our lifestyle.

Now that we’re in our new house, and not in debt, and having more quality time together as a family in our new suburban life, I am experiencing a feeling of completeness I haven’t previously known with my wife and son.

I’m thinking that now, I can just enjoy this new house with my family.

My Decision To Unplug From Social Media, Except On Thursday Nights (Including Facebook And My Blog)

So I invite you to tune in every Thursday night, when you can catch up with our new simple life. You don’t even have to go to Facebook; you could just subscribe to Family Friendly Daddy Blog by clicking on the button at the top of this page.

As for Friday through Wednesday, you probably won’t hear a peep out of me.

I’m sure certain exceptions will pop up along the way, but they will definitely be the exception to the rule.

But as it concerns my own personal schedule, I’m choosing to unplug from social media now, except for on Thursday nights.

So by default, I will definitely be participating in this year’s National Day of Unplugging on March 6-7, 2-15.

What’s the worst that could happen?

Or maybe the real question is, what’s the best that could happen?

Screen-shot-2013-02-06-at-1.12.58-PM1-669x515

Is Facebook Itself Technically A Social Video Game?

I think it will be difficult for me to ever look at Facebook the same way again…

extreme close-up selfie

Back in February while researching for Rock Music Used To Be Rebellious, Now It’s Rap Music Instead, my friend Sam Royalty simply stated this to me in a side conversation about social media:

“People use Facebook status updates and pictures to find validation in their ideas and life choices.”

The more I’ve thought about it, the more it makes sense.

When I consider the selfie alone, it only makes sense that the “selfie taker” is looking for some kind of validation from their corner of society that their appearance is… relevant.

I say “relevant” because that could mean a lot of things depending on what the person is needing slight reassurance of:

Am I pretty enough? Do I look cool? Can people tell I’ve gotten in shape? Am I still funny? Am I even interesting?

With that being said, it goes beyond just the pictures we post. It transcends to our status updates and shared as well:

Am I doing a good job of being informative in society? Am I an influencer? Is the world aware I am part of it?

Is Facebook Itself Technically A Social Video Game?

I would never want to be seen as the kind of person who is known for “needing attention” all the time, yet there’s this subtle paradox that says if you don’t post enough on Facebook, you’re sort of a Facebook snob who only looks at other people’s info and pictures without contributing or getting involved aside from “liking” other people’s post or very generically wishing them happy birthday after being prompted to by Facebook itself.

My theory is that those people who apparently don’t need confirmation or validation are at least looking for inspiration or, for a few minutes, to live vicariously as someone else.

Of course, I believe if you’re too inspirational, you may appear as a show-off. You don’t want your Facebook friends thinking you trying you’re, in essence, “trying too hard to win” at this unofficial game of Facebook.

Despite the daily overdose of negativity on Facebook, there is a fraction of my news feed that is actually positive; or at least neutrally interesting or fun. Like the pictures of my friends’ families: those are the posts I scroll my feed for.

More importantly, I try to be the person who is contributing those pictures, links, and status updates; just like Gandhi famously said:

“Be the change you want to see in the world.”

I really don’t think there’s truly a way to “win at Facebook,” sort of like the game Animal Crossings that I loved so much in college on Nintendo GameCube. Ultimately, to someone out there on Facebook, you’re going to contribute too much or too little; seem too showy or too aloof.

You can’t necessarily win or lose at the game of Facebook, but it’s a video game that millions of people play all day long, all over the world.

Video Games: The Movie

In theory, it’s the most popular and relevant video game of all time; that’s an idea proposed in the Netflix documentary, Video Games: The Movie.

But for this modern tower of Babel we have built and participate in, I say this is ultimately why we show up to it:

To give and/or receive legitimate validation, confirmation, and/or inspiration.

The reason I say legitimate is because not all ideas on Facebook should merit reinforcement. Plus, as I recognized earlier, Facebook has its fair share of negative people who would rather attempt to hurt instead of edify others.

Overall though, Facebook is a place (and/or social video game) where essentially anyone can give or receive confirmation on one’s beauty, worth, and relevance.

I can even post an “extreme close-up selfie” and I will get what I want out of it: for people to recognize the humor in it.

And no, I’m not writing this to get more “likes” on my Facebook page, or to try to prove I am a decent writer, or to simply feel validated by my Facebook friends so that I can essentially score more points in this video game we’re all playing.

Or am I?

I Just Came Here To Read Comments

April 21, 2014 at 8:35 pm , by 

3 years, 5 months.

Dear Jack,

In several of my letters to you, I’ve made mention to you that simply by being a parent, I have become a more mature person.

It’s true. I’m now embarrassed by some of the things I’ve written to you over the years- and I wish I could say I’ll never say something stupid again.

But if I said that, I would be conceited, which would contradict the part about maturing as a parent.

One of the most relevant lessons I’ve been teaching myself  is “how not to say things that will end up making me sound judgmental of other parents or to be offensive to them.”

And I tell you- that’s a very tricky lesson to learn.

Ultimately, it’s dang near impossible not to step on someone’s toes.

I’ve discovered that even by talking about the possibility of you being an only child can offend other parents who are unable to have another child.

If I talk about our family’s plant-based lifestyle, it can be perceived that I am trying to convert other people to “unhealthy eating habits which keeps your family from getting the nutrients they need.”

If I speak neutrally about having guns in the house, or bronies, or why I believe spanking is not more effective than time-out, I’m going to either offend, upset, or at least get someone emotionally worked up.

You know what, though? I’m okay with that.

I do try to be as respectful as I can in my interactions with people in real life and social media; the latter of which is much more difficult.

In fact, trying to regularly participate in social media while talking about parenting topics especially can be harder than attempting to get through a Chips Ahoy cookie without eating a chocolate chip.

Therefore, there is now a very relevant Internet meme which features Michael Jackson eating popcorn, stating: “I Just Came Here To Read The Comments.”

It tends to show up in the comments section of controversial blog posts.

Actually, I just saw it featured this weekend on Facebook in the comments section of a Parents.com article, written by a parent who admits her family only goes to church on Easter.

Navigating the comments on social media has become almost ridiculous by now. I noticed last week at the bottom of a parenting article on MSN, they now have to offer up a list of “reportable” tags for comments:

There’s now a category for spam, exploitation, profanity/vulgarity/obscenity, copyright infringement, harassment or threat, and even threats of suicide.

Wow.

With that being said, I try not to offend those in the world of parenting… but these days, it’s not always easy to know who the actual Internet trolls really are.

I just have to tiptoe and tap-dance while being ready to duck and dodge potential tomatoes being hurled my way.

 

Love,

Daddy

Since Becoming A Parent, My Facebook Pics Have Matured

October 22, 2013 at 10:39 pm , by 

2 years, 11 months.

Dear Jack,

Sunday night, Mommy scrolled through the pictures on my personal Facebook page going back all the way to March 2005, when I first joined the social media website.

After doing so, she remarked, “Your Facebook pictures have obviously become a lot more mature since we got married and especially since Jack was born.”

She’s totally right.

I haven’t gone through the trouble of removing them yet, but at the time of writing this letter to you, there were still quite a few pictures of me posing for purposely stupid pictures.

Like the one where I am inmpersonating a pro-wrestler, with my shirt off, standing in front of a huge British flag.

Oh, and my hair is down to my chin.

Then there’s the one where I’m mocking the year 1976 where I have the same long hair, accompanied by a creeper mustache and an unbuttoned silky shirt.

And don’t forget the entire picture folder which contains several shots of me in Mr. Potato Head pajama pants pretending to fall down a flight of stairs.

Completely stupid, but at least on purpose.

But in the year 2005, I was a single, 24 year-old dude. That’s the kind of stuff I could put on Facebook and easily get away with.

Of course, back in those days, the only people were who my Facebook friends were people I knew from college and expected my deadpan sense of humor.

These days, everyone’s on Facebook- including semi-distant relatives, my former elementary school teachers, and church staff.

I can’t get away with being that goofy like I used to. It confuses people. I’ve learned irony, sarcasm, and dark comedy don’t quite translate on Facebook like they did when I was 24.

Even over the recent past several months, I have totally toned down my Facebook behavior in general.

It used to be that I would post fake status updates to see who would think I was serious. Turns out, more people did than I realized…

It used to be that I was more opinionated, but I realized it actually divided people and that’s not something I want to be known for.

So needless to say, my Facebook lifestyle has evolved.

I’m not saying I never have fun on it anymore, but considering that posting pictures of Mommy and me pretending to eat giant M&M’s at the Louisville Zoo are the new “crazy” pictures, I’d say I’ve defintely matured since the days of the long-haired guy posing in Mr. Potato Head pajama pants.

Now, my general rule for posting a picture of myself on Facebook is that you have to be in it too. “Selfie” shots now include you and/or Mommy.

I’m growing up, Son.

 

Love,

Daddy

New Infographic: “The Science Facts About Autism And Vaccines”

I feel that one of the ways I “matured in social media” while serving as the daddy blogger of Parents.com for the past 3 years was to actually stop writing from such a polarized perspective. I have no desire to make people argue with each other in the comments section.

Instead, I enjoy starting open-minded conversations. I like to bring people together, not divide them.

CNN and Fox News are both ridiculous. I seek truth without a right or a left spin.

That’s why you’ll probably never see me endorse a Presidential candidate again. Because I’ve learned that basically half of America is die hard Republican while the other half is die hard Democrat. Our election process is set up in a way to where politicians are rewarded for not compromising, but instead, sticking 100% to the predetermined agendas and ideals of their party affiliation.

By refusing to consider the other side’s point of view, politicians (and voters) can keep themselves from being open-minded because of it.

Similarly, it seems the same way with other polarizing topics; like abortion, gay marriage, or the deity of Christ.

And don’t forget, of course, the controversy of whether or not vaccinations are harmful; particularly, whether they cause Autism.

So with that being said, I want to share this new infographic called “The Science Facts About Autism And Vaccines”.

I believe it contains some interesting information that is worth at least considering.

When it comes to vaccinations, I have always remained… indifferent. What I mean that is I personally refuse to get a flu shot, but I have never been opposed to children receiving vaccinations, because I think there is a lack of evidence proving that it is harmful; especially that there is a link between Autism and vaccinations.

And that’s exactly what this infographic shows…

Don’t get me wrong. I definitely have solid opinions on certain topics, but for certain polarizing one like this one, that get people “shouting” at each other online (in ALL CAPS), I prefer just to hear more facts before making a decision, if I don’t already have one.

But as for me personally, regarding Autism, I still think there’s a good chance that exposing children to too much TV and media devices at too early of an age is linked to Autism.

I guess I’ll have to wait for someone to make on infograph on that…

vaccines-and-autism

Source: Healthcare-Management-Degree.net

The Science Facts about Autism and Vaccines

What started the rumors?

1998: Lancet published a paper by Dr. Andrew Wakefield it was a dramatic study that found a connection between autism and vaccines

The Study Had Some Problems:

  • Not based on statistics
  • No control group
  • It relied on people’s memories
  • Made vague conclusions that weren’t statistically valid

No Link was Found, so people started investigating his claims

 

 

Following Dr. Wakefield’s study, here’s what other more rigorous studies found:

      • 1999: A study of 500 children no connection was found
      • 2001: A study of 10,000 children still found no connection
      • 2002: A study from Denmark of 537,000 children found no connection
      • 2002: A study from Finland of 535,000 children. Guess what? No connection

“They had conducted invasive investigations on the children without obtaining the necessary ethical clearances… picked and chose data that suited their case; they falsified facts.”

    • 2004: Lancet released a statement refuting the original findings
      “They had conducted invasive investigations on the children without obtaining the necessary ethical clearances… picked and chose data that suited their case; they falsified facts.”
    • 2005: A review of 31 studies covering more than 10,000,000 children, also found no connection
    • 2012: A review of 27 cohort studies, 17 case control studies, 6 self- controlled case series studies, 5 time series trials, 2 ecological studies, 1 case cross-over trial covering over 14,700,000 children

No link to autism was found in ANY case, in all of the studies.

Vaccine Vilification Survives

  • 1/4 of U.S. parents U.S. parents believe some vaccines cause autism in healthy children
  • 1.8% of parents opt out of vaccines for religious or philosophical reasons
  • There have been 0 credible studies linking vaccines to autism
  • Recently an anti-vaccine religious community has seen measles outbreaks

Although Declared Eradicated in 2000…

  • France reported a massive measles outbreak with nearly 15,000 cases in 2011
  • The U.K. reported more than 2,000 measles cases in 2012

Before Widespread Vaccinations of Babies

  • in 1980, 2.6 million deaths from measles
  • in 2000 562,400 deaths 72% of babies vaccinated
  • in 2012, 122,000 deaths 84% of babies vaccinated

In the United States, Whooping Cough Shot Up in 2012 to Nearly 50,000 Cases

A new study concluded thatvaccine refusals were largely to blame for a 2010 outbreak of whooping cough in California.

A new study concluded that vaccine refusals were largely to blame for a 2010 outbreak of whooping cough in California.

It is clear that immunization protects children from disease and saves lives. Outbreaks of many deadly diseases are on the decline globally, thanks to vaccinations. Immunizations can help eradicate many dangerous childhood diseases. Just like Smallpox, they too can be wiped off the face of the Earth. In the U.S., we almost had Whooping Cough beat in the 80s — then Dr. Wakefield’s fabulously flawed paper was published:

  • 1960s – 150,000 cases of whooping cough
  • 1960s – Widespread vaccinations introduced
  • 1970s – 5,000 cases of whooping cough
  • 1980s – 2,900 cases of whooping cough
  • 1998 – Dr. Wakefield’s paper published
  • 2004 – 26,000 cases of whooping cough
  • 2012 – 50,000 cases of whooping cough

Common Vaccine Myths

  • Vaccines are ridden with toxic chemicals that can harm children
    Thimersol, the chemical being referenced, does contain mercury. However, thimersol has been removed from scheduled vaccines and only resides in the seasonal flu vaccine.
  • The decision to not vaccinate my child only affects my child
    Un-vaccinated children who contract a disease can infect infants yet to be inoculated, the small percentage of people whose vaccines did not take, and people with compromised immune systems.
  • Receiving too many vaccines at once can override a baby’s immune system
    Baby’s immune systems are strong enough to defend from the day to day viruses and bacteria with which they come in contact; they can also handle the vaccines. Remember, vaccines use deactivated viruses in their ingredients.
  • Drug companies just do it to make profits
    According to the WHO, estimated 2013 global revenues for all vaccines is around $24 billion, which only accounts for approximately 2 – 3% of the total pharmaceuticals market.

Vaccines Work!

Positive effects of vaccines:

  • Helped eradicate Smallpox
  • Save about 8 million lives every year
  • Significantly reduce disease in the world
  • New and underutilized vaccines could avert nearly 4 million deaths of children under the age 5 by 2015