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Postpartum: My 10 Steps of Caring for a Newborn during the First 6 Weeks

Postpartum: My 10 Steps of Caring for a Newborn during the First 6 Weeks

We survived! Yay for us! With Baby Holly turning 6 weeks old as of yesterday, my wife and I have apparently made it through what I hear is the toughest part of the postpartum days: the first 6 weeks.

That first month or so is when you as the parent must figure out the details on what works best for your baby regarding sleeping schedules, formulas, and diapers. It’s a culture shock as a parent, even after already having one child. I knew it would be challenging going into it.

However, I must have kept my expectations lower than I needed to because, honestly, it hasn’t been that bad!

Postpartum: My 10 Steps of Caring for a Newborn during the First 6 Weeks

Despite us managing our newborn’s infant acid reflux, for the post part, things have been fairly predictable. There have really been just 10 simple steps to caring for our newborn during the first 6 weeks:

1)      Feed her an ounce, burp her. Repeat until each ounce is gone.

2)      Change her diaper.

3)      Play with her by talking to her and helping her do exercises.

4)      Take a cute picture of her.

5)      While you teach yourself newborn photography, by the default of taking so many pictures, Instagram your work to show it off to friends and family.

6)      Change her diaper.

7)      Wrap her up in a blanket and rock her to sleep with the pacifier in her mouth,

then place her in the crib.

8)      Change her diaper, now that she finally fell asleep but wet herself again.

9)      Rock her back to sleep and place her in the crib again.

10)  Repeat two and a half hours later when she wakes up again.

Postpartum: My 10 Steps of Caring for a Newborn during the First 6 Weeks

Those are my 10 simple steps. This has been my life for the past 6 weeks.

Granted, these 10 steps have been my wife’s reality more than mine, since she’s on maternity leave, but I still work during the day. A lot of the time my main responsibility is to take care of our 5 and a half year-old son Jack while my wife Jill takes care of the baby.

This past weekend I celebrated the end of those first 6 weeks by shaving off my postpartum beard, as well as getting a hair trim. As you can see though, I was unable to overcome the temptation of shaving (and Instagramming) in stages.

Postpartum: My 10 Steps of Caring for a Newborn during the First 6 Weeks

Postpartum: My 10 Steps of Caring for a Newborn during the First 6 Weeks

And if my eyes look bloodshot and cross-eyed, and I look like I need some ginseng because of lack of sleep, it’s probably true.

As for Baby Holly, she doesn’t have that problem so much…

Postpartum: My 10 Steps of Caring for a Newborn during the First 6 Weeks

Fare thee well.

Postpartum: My 10 Steps of Caring for a Newborn during the First 6 Weeks

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Dear Holly: The Postpartum Beard and My Ability to Burp You

1 month old.

https://familyfriendlydaddyblog.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/05/beard1.jpg?w=680

Dear Holly,

I love having a little baby girl! I really do. I love knowing I get to come home each day and hold you, talk to you in my special baby voice, stare at you, change your diapers, feed you, and perhaps most important to Mommy… burp you.

Oh yes, that’s one of the biggest ways I can help Mommy take care of you right now. It’s currently my exclusive niche.

Mommy actually depends on me to get that done each time either one of us feeds you. I have a special yet effortless way of sort of tossing you over my shoulder. You instantly seem at peace, as you do this combination of a purr and a grunt. Usually within a couple minutes, a huge burp escapes you.

It makes me feel good to know I have a new official super power.

You are now a month-old and I do admit, it doesn’t seem you should be that old already. The time has flown by. It hasn’t been chaotic, though. Mommy and I have naturally worked out a system to share the load of caring for you.

Your brother Jack is the only one at our house who gets to sleep through the night, but that’s alright. Mommy and I are teamed up to care for you as you need to be fed, changed, and burped every 3 hours.

In the midst of all this, I have accidently invented something I call… the Postpartum Beard.

I’m a low-maintenance, low-overhead kind of guy. Therefore, I traditionally just shave once a week, every Sunday; so I’m only clean-shaven that one day and then quite stubbly for the rest of the week.

This has been my tradition for quite a while now. But now, it’s clearly been more than a week since I’ve used my Norelco.

I know people typically associate the word “postpartum” with depression, but the word simply means “following childbirth.”  I have a feeling I’m not the only dad of a newborn out there who like me, accidentally ended up with a beard.

The Postpartum Beard demonstrates something we as happily married men already know, something that apparently the media will never choose to legitimately celebrate:

As far as all of my friends who are dads, we are all very involved as parents; even with infants.

I personally don’t know of even one happily married dad who doesn’t get up in the middle of the night to help his wife with the crying baby. To me, that’s simply a given.

That doesn’t make us heroes or even special. It makes us good modern husbands and good modern fathers, which is something that we find much identity in as men, here in the year 2016. It’s masculine to sacrifice sleep and hobbies for our babies and kids.

And it’s pretty masculine to have a super power of being able to burp a baby.

You and I are a good match. Thanks for burping so easily for me.

 Love,

Daddy

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I’m the Most Masculine (and Rarest) Vegan You Know, but Probably By Default

I’m the Most Masculine (and Rarest) Vegan You Know, but Probably By Default

From your hundreds of Facebook friends, plus your dozens of coworkers and your handful of close friends and your immediate family, chances are… I’m the only vegan you know.

I’m the Most Masculine (and Rarest) Vegan You Know, but Probably By Default

More specifically, even if you do actually happen to know another vegan, they probably are female; since 79% of vegans are women.

I’m the Most Masculine (and Rarest) Vegan You Know, but Probably By Default

Therefore, by default, I am the most masculine vegan you know. I’ll talk more about that in a minute…

I’m the Most Masculine (and Rarest) Vegan You Know, but Probably By Default

With about 2.5% of the American population being vegan, and only 21% of that group being male, it’s very clear that when it comes to my vegan lifestyle, I am in the minority.

To make myself even more of a rarity, unlike most vegans, I am not non-religious nor politically liberal. (I’m a Christian who is a Libertarian- which means I don’t endorse the Democratic nor the Republican Party, nor do I believe in forcing my religious beliefs on others.)

I’m the Most Masculine (and Rarest) Vegan You Know, but Probably By Default

I am a very rare demographic. You likely don’t know any other vegan males in your social circle who are also both religious and non-political.

I’m the Most Masculine (and Rarest) Vegan You Know, but Probably By Default

And somewhere in the midst of all these labels, I’m by default, still masculine. I promote healthy masculinity; in fact, it’s one of the themes of my blog: celebrating masculinity as a dad. Of course, I recognize that the definition of masculinity varies based on who you ask.

I’m the Most Masculine (and Rarest) Vegan You Know, By Default

No, I don’t hunt or fish; nor do I care about sports. Plus, I’m useless when it comes to home repairs…

But I do love exploring the forest with my son, taking him to monster truck events, testing out new cars, and mountain biking- to name a few of my rugged hobbies.

I’ve noticed how our society has collectively accepted the idea that eating meat (especially beef and bacon) is masculine. So imagine what a strange bird I am, being masculine, yet denying any reliance on pork (including bacon) or shellfish for the past 7 and a half years, nor meat for the past 4 and a half years, nor eggs and dairy for the past 3 years.

But my own definition of masculinity has more to do with my role in society; more importantly, within my family of four. I see true masculinity as a set of paradoxes that I’ve collected.

I will close by sharing my concept of masculinity, which aligns with the traits I aim for daily, as a husband and father; all of which are rooted in emotional intelligence. This is my creed of masculinity. In my imperfect human state, I strive for and meditate on these attributes:

Strong, yet loving. Disciplined, yet merciful. Leading, yet serving. Assertive, yet empathetic. Adventurous, yet grounded. Dangerous, yet protective. Hard-working, yet laid-back. Structured, yet creative. Committed, yet free. Confident, yet humble.

Veganism

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Dear Holly: Your Brother Likes to Check on You

2 weeks.

Dear Holly: Your Brother Likes to Check on You

Dear Holly,

With your brother Jack being 5 and a half years older than you, it’s plain to see that he perceives you not as competition, but instead, as a responsibility.

He legitimately helps Mommy and me with you. Having already raised him from a newborn, this time around as parents we know not to pick you up from your bed every time you start to make noises, as you transition into waking up.

So during the daytime, Jack will run over to you to check to see if you’re really awake or not. He then announces to Mommy and me, “Holly’s eyes are still closed. She’s still asleep.”

That helps us to know we’ve still got a few more minutes before we have to get your bottle ready to feed you once your nap officially ends.

l11a

For all these years, Mommy has always sat in the back seat with Jack, to spend quality time with him. I say that because when you live in the Nashville area, anytime you get in the car, it’s going to take at least 30 to 45 minutes to get where you are going.

But now Mommy is sitting up front with me, meaning that it was Jack’s job to keep checking on you by looking over at you in your car seat.

Turns out, this weekend you were asleep the entire car ride in the 2016 Lexus IS 200t to Whole Foods and all the way back as well. Even so, we truly depended on Jack to check on you.

Thanks to him, we had assurance you were doing okay back there. Jack served as our eyes and ears.

I am so pleased with the age difference between you and your brother. He’s truly helping take care of you and I can tell he’s so proud to be doing it.

Dear Holly: Your Brother Likes to Check on You

Love,

Daddy

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Dear Holly: I Never Realized How Badly I Needed a Baby Girl

1 week.

Dear Holly: I Never Realized How Badly I Needed a Baby Girl

Dear Holly,

For years, I was convinced I was perfectly happy having only a little boy. But now that you’ve been in my life for a week, I realize I was wrong. I needed a baby girl in my life.

I love everything about your brother; he’s the perfect little boy. With you here now though, I see that you provide the proper balance to our family.

Dear Holly: I Never Realized How Badly I Needed a Baby Girl

With your brother, I get to be rough and crude and adventurous, as I should be with an all American boy. I get to drive through the mud with him and take him to PG-13 rated super hero movies that some say are inappropriate for him. I love that I get to feel sort of rebellious in parenting your brother.

Dear Holly: I Never Realized How Badly I Needed a Baby Girl

With you, I get to make sweet cooing sounds directly into your face as I stare at you for no less than an hour at a time as I hold you. I am so in love with you.

I have never got to experience this before. Despite being a parent for 5 and a half years, having you here is completely different. You are such a sweet, adorable, and mesmerizing little girl.

You’re so easy to stare at. I love your amazing little smile. I love your uniquely folded ears. I love your tiny little cry.

Had you born a boy, I would have been just as happy; because I couldn’t have known what I was missing. I already knew how much I loved having a son, so I knew things would have been great.

But instead, you were meant to be Holly Joy. I was meant to have a daughter.

I’m not saying there’s no possibility of you never having a younger brother or sister… but I do know that our family has never felt so complete- like the way it does now that you are here.

Love,

Daddy

Dear Holly: I Never Realized How Badly I Needed a Baby Girl