Dear Jack: Your Very 1st Cell Phone (But No Social Media Accounts!)

13 years, 1 month.

Dear Jack,

You had been asking for a cell phone for the past year and a half; ever since you started 6th grade. What didn’t help your case was that you set your standards way too high: a brand-new iPhone.

Mommy and I recognized that with you apparently being the only one of your friends without a cell phone, you were by default being left out of social connections with the rest of them.

Once you finally “settled” on a new Google 3 XL that we found a really good deal on, I gave you my blessing on getting your own cell phone; given that you would not be permitted to set up social media accounts:

“You have given me every reason to trust you with this responsibility. I know you are going to take really good care of it and that you’re not going to go on bad websites.”

It helps that we have got you on Mint Mobile, which is what I am on; for just $15 per month.

After you opened your special gift on Christmas morning, you then noticed that the official color was not white like we had ordered online, but instead, “not pink”.

The actually color of your phone is called “not pink”.

Fortunately, I was able to convince you that it’s so close to white that no one will even notice your phone is “not pink”, nor is it white.

To be sure, I agreed to let you order a fun phone case for your new phone. It’s a lot less trouble and less drama than having to send back the phone and wait for a new one.

At age 13, you now have a cell phone. (But no social media accounts!)

 

Love,

Daddy

Dear Holly: You Finally Got Naty… and She Got You a Gift Too?

7 years, 8 months.

Dear Holly,

After months of anticipation, you finally received Naty for Christmas.

And I am doing everything in my power to freeze time right now.

This is the age of dolls being a big deal to you. This is the time in your life when you speak about your dolls as if they are actually alive; as if they are actually little girls your age that play with you.

You proactively got Naty a Christmas gift, knowing that you would get her for Christmas: another outfit.

To your surprise, Naty got you a Christmas gift as well! The tag clearly read, “To: Holly, From: Naty”.

You have yet to officially tell me how that worked out. Even as I typed this, I asked you once again, “Holly, how did Naty get you a Christmas gift?”

Without showing much concern at all, you simply replied, “Daddy, I don’t know.”

I suppose you didn’t remember telling me a month ago that you wanted a harmonica, after seeing kids play one on your favorite YouTube channel… which is just other kids playing with toys.

Needless to say, Naty’s gift to you was a harmonica!

Love,

Daddy

Dear Holly: The Logistics of Your New Doll Arriving from the North Pole

7 years, 7 months.

Dear Holly,

For the past week, as Christmas Day has been getting noticeably closer on the calendar you are marking off next to your bed, you have been providing commentary regarding Naty.

She is the doll you have asked Santa for, which you are confident he will bring you.

You explained to me, “I bet she is so cold right now up in the North Pole. She may even be packed up on Santa’s sleigh already.”

Despite you also declaring that Naty is 8 years old, you also have mentioned a few times, “Her birthday will be December 25th, since that’s when I’m getting her.”

I struggle with understanding where she has been for the past 7 years if she is turning 8 on Christmas Day, but I keep questions like that to myself.

Yesterday, Mommy worked from home, as you were also here since school is out this week. Overhearing all of Mommy’s conversations about the contracts she is managing, you were inspired to write a contract for you to adopt Naty.

In just a few days, Naty will finally… be born?

 

Love,

Daddy

Dear Jack: You Decided You Need to Start Wearing Cologne Now

13 years.

Dear Jack,

Nonna and Papa came up to visit this weekend. It was inevitable they would naturally want to go shopping at Marshall’s and that you and your sister would want to join them.

It was apparent beforehand how this thing would work out: Neither you nor your sister would come back empty handed; as “early Christmas presents” naturally presented themselves.

Your sister was proud to get a pink pair of Crocs.

As for you, you have been quite focused on obtaining some Tommy Bahama Maritime cologne; as apparently, all your friends are wearing cologne now.

Sure enough, there was a gift set of the cologne that even came with a bottle of body wash and… aftershave.

You now officially wear cologne.

 

Love,

Daddy

Dear Jack: A Perfect Picture of You as a Teenager

13 years old.

Dear Jack,

You’re now a couple of weeks into being a teenager and I am now seeing everything you do through that lens.

Last week while we were in Alabama for Thanksgiving, you spent some time with your cousins. For a day or so there, I honestly had no clue where you were nor what you were doing. I just knew you were having a good time and in good hands, with Aunt Dana and Uncle Andrew keeping you entertained.

Aunt Dana sent me a silly photo of you, going cross-eyed over ice cream; with your cool hairstyle and sports-themed clothing.

She provided no explanation nor caption.

I simply responded to her, “That checks out.”

Love,

Daddy