Enneagram 9

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ENFJ, Self-Preservation Enneagram 9 Wing 8: I Am Officially a Fun Guy!

Fact: I am officially a fun guy. Specifically, I am a friendly, sociable extrovert. It took the events of 2024 in order for me to understand this.

It becomes common at the end of a year for people to say, “I can’t wait to see what exciting new things next year has in store!”

Well, here I am at the end of a year and I can very clearly express what 2024 had in store for me. This would be the year that I finally mapped out the rules of what defines the word “fun” for me, and therefore, what actually allows me to experience the concept of happiness.

Moving from the heavily (over)populated Nashville area of over a million people halfway through this year, to the less than 15,000 population Appalachian mountain town in Alabama we have now lived the second half of the year in, I have a clear understanding of why I am happy and loving life again.

Because my definition of fun explicitly involves the following:

A) Not being in traffic or in big, chaotic crowds.

B) Not having to pay to park or to pay an admission to get in.

C) Not having to wait in a long line.

D) Not having to “run around” or “be busy”.

E) Being able to spend quality time with people.

It’s funny how quickly my perspective of life changed after we moved to Alabama and we got all of the house renovations completed:

I could finally chill out. Because where I live in Alabama, my rules for having fun and being happy easily apply. Whereas in Nashville, they rarely did.

It is true I am indeed a fun and extroverted person, but I naturally become the opposite (stoic and introverted) when I have to be in traffic or chaotic crowds, when I have to pay to park or pay an admission to get in, when I have to wait in a long line, when I feel like I am having to run around or be busy, or when I am not able to spend quality time with people.

Our family’s most successful vacation ever, this past summer to Oregon, helped reinforce that my “rules for fun” not only ensured that I was operating in my default extroverted personality, but it also meant my family had more fun as individuals and collectively too.

As a ENFJ, self-preservation Enneagram 9 Wing 8, I instinctively seek experiences where I can be challenged in some way, while still feeling comfortable in the process. That is one of my gifts I offer to those around me: To create and maintain an environment where everyone feels comfortable, challenged, and valued.

In a good way, I feel this pressure to ensure that we are all collectively having a good time.

I think back to the motto my wife and I curated this year:

“Give life meaning and creative beautiful experiences.”

Moving here to Alabama and living a “quiet life” has now made it remarkably easier for me to be my true extroverted self; who is creative, fun, and happy to be around.

That is the world I live in now.

So yeah, I’m a big fan of 2024.

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Songs I Wrote in 2023: “Enneagram 9” – 12th of 13

It took me most of the year writing my book to finally realize my actual Enneagram number is Nine. After I went back and rewrote my book accordingly, I celebrated by writing this song.

The point of view is me telling my wife that I now understand what she actually needs from me:

You never needed me to ever be by the book – You never needed me to ever give a frantic look – You only needed me to be your Enneagram 9 – You never needed me to take charge and be the boss – You never needed me to prophecy potential loss- You only needed me to be like I was in 2009 – Life got in the way there for a while – I repressed all my anger in a state of denial – Took a little time to thaw out – To reveal what was buried there underneath – When all I had to do was just show up, sit back, relax – That’s right – Just got to be chill and that will keep things from getting too real – You always saw me as your personal Paul Rudd – To shrug it off instead of feeling stuck in the mud – You only needed me to be your Enneagram 9 – You always saw me as your go with the flow – I never seemed bothered – If I was, it didn’t show – You only needed me to be like I was in 2009 – Don’t worry baby if the world’s gonna end – I’ll be your fellow passenger on this sinking ship – You only need me to be along for the ride

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Songs I Wrote in 2023: “Where Are My Enemies?” – 4th of 13

At the time I wrong this song, I had not yet realized that I was an Enneagram 9. Through the process of writing my book, I suppose my true self was beginning to reveal itself.

I also feel that part of the process of maturing as an adult is to gain a healthier view of the world by avoiding extreme views and accepting the middle ground; therefore, you begin to see people as more human in the process:

I never need to take a side – I don’t need to be right – Somewhere in the middle – I’d rather keep it simple – That’s where I’ll be- The in-between – Ain’t got time for arguments – I’m making time for common sense – What a waste with these debates – Echo chambers – Nothing changes made up minds – What a waste of time – Not gonna fight you – Nor try to spite you – I’m making peace and taking names – Where are my enemies? Who are my enemies? I can’t think of anyone who needs my hate instead of love – I only want the best for you – We’re not in competition – We’re on the same team – That’s the way you look to me – My strategy is to compromise – My battle plan is to bridge this divide – Somewhere in the middle – I’d rather keep it simple – That’s where I’ll be- The in-between