You should walk a mile in my shoes… if they don’t disintegrate first.
Between my 4 months of unemployment and my current job at GameTime, I did a brief stint for a company I highly respect, but I knew I wasn’t a good fit there. So after about a week and a half, I left them. The following events took place during my first and only whole week there. Even if they thought I seemed like a normal person who doesn’t encounter Jack Tripper-like situations, they will learn the truth now.
The weekend before starting the job, I came across a forgotten pair of some of my favorite shoes ever at my parents’ house. So I wore them to church. That went well. Sure, I bought them in the year 2000 from American Eagle, but they were still cool and showed no signs of needing repair. Very wearable.
So I wore them two days later on my 2nd day at work. After the first hour passed, I noticed what looked like chunks of mud all around my desk and leading up to my desk. Then when I got up to walk to the printer, I noticed one of my shoes felt especially “springy”. That was because the middle of the sole had fallen off- along with various other parts of my shoes.
Right as I had realized this, my boss came up to me and asked me if I would be ready within the hour to go out and make some sales. I said yes, then immediately called my wife to have her bring me some different shoes. It worked, and I had about 15 minutes to spare.
The next day, I worked up enough courage to enter the bathroom stall which had a warning sign posted saying that the latch was broken and that I shouldn’t lock the stall door. So I did it anyway. I ignored the sign. Good thing I’m limber. Though the distance from bottom of the stall to the floor was only about 18 inches, I was able to escape. I’m glad, because this particular bathroom is located on the other end of the building where no one ever goes, and besides, I had left my cell phone at my desk.
I’m sure someone figured out it was “the new guy” that walked right through that warning sign and got locked in the bathroom stall. But at least they never knew about my shoes crumbling apart. Until now. That’s just how the shoe crumbles.
Note to self: Copyright the phrase “That’s just how the shoe crumbles”.