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Dear Jack: Your “Pokemon Card Business Meeting” with Your Best Friend, Duncan

6 years, 11 months.

Dear Jack,

You were so excited all last week to know that your best friend, Duncan, was going to be coming over to our house on Saturday morning. Now that fall soccer season is over, this made the first weekend in which you wouldn’t be seeing each other.

But for two hours, the two of you got hang out and just do whatever you wanted to.

Perhaps somewhat ironically, you were noticeably much calmer and self-contained with him over. Instead of two nearly 7-year olds running around crazy in the living room, the two of you spent most of the time having what I am calling a “Pokemon Card Business Meeting.”

It looked, and sounded, quite serious. You both brought out your huge Pokemon card binders and committed to what seemed to me as a never-ended business meeting.

As you both traded and bartered, I kept hearing stats that I couldn’t keep up worth, as I heard these strangely named Pokemon characters and how much damage each one does, and whether it’s an EX or not…

I am convinced the two of you had so much fun. But I have to say, it looked all business to me!

These days, I recognize it’s often a challenge for you to figure out what to do when you’re at home; as the temptation to play with your sister, even if she is already occupied, is always there. It feels like a daily occurrence that I have to say, “Jack, find something to do before I assign you some mandatory fun myself…”

With Duncan over at our house, I never said that once.

If Duncan is the kind of company you keep, and that is the kind of activity you choose to do, I say, hey… Let’s have Duncan over more often!

Love,

Daddy

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Dear Holly: You are So Obsessed with Your Shoes, You Wear 4 of Them at a Time!

1 year, 6 months.

Dear Holly,

This morning as I held you, walking your brother across the street to where the bus stop is, you held a pair of shoes in your hands. Obviously, you were also wearing another pair of shoes on your feet as well.

On the mornings I take you to school, the same thing happens. I get you all ready to go, and you’re always so excited. You grab your lunch box and walk to the front door, but then make a quick detour for the shoe closet to pick up a 2nd pair to hold.

Yes, if guess you figure since you only have 2 feet, you might as wear a 2nd pair on your hands… in theory.

So then I load you up in the car, drive you to school, and hand you to your teacher; and the whole time, you’re holding those shoes in your hands so tightly!

I admit it’s a little bit of a challenge to pry them out of your little pink hands. Seriously, it’s just that you’re so proud of your shoes. So naturally, in your mind, wearing one pair of shoes at a time just isn’t enough!

It didn’t take long for me to understand how you became this way. All I have to do is look at your Mommy.

She is so classy, so stylish, so fashionable. Though she would never admit it, she’s on top of things when it comes to making sure our whole family looks more than simply “presentable”.

So for you, at only a year and half years old, shoes having already become a part of your identity. I think I have to give all the credit to Mommy on this one.

I think it’s possible you’re starting to realize just how adorable you are…

Love,

Daddy

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Dear Jack: I’m Watching You Grow Up on Autopilot

6 years, 11 months.

Dear Jack,

In the midst of me raising a very demanding (by default) infant daughter in addition to you, it’s both inevitable and regrettable, as your Daddy, that I can’t be more involved in all the little details of your life. I wish I could, but then I couldn’t be there for your sister in the ways she desperately needs me in these early developmental years.

I miss the candid moments that we used to have, back when you were an only child. Being an older brother has placed you in a situation where you have to be more independent of me.

In some ways, that’s a good thing. But I admit, I experience guilt in this, even if I’m doing the right thing by constantly minding to your sister, which gives Mommy the ability to focus on household daily chores, like preparing dinner and doing laundry.

It sort of leaves you out of the equation; to fend for yourself.

Right now, though, I’m thinking of John Mayer’s song, “Daughters”, where he talks about sons:

Boys, you can break
You’ll find out how much they can take
Boys will be strong
And boys soldier on

I guess that’s just the way I have to look at it.

But just know I really do miss our Saturday afternoon hikes through the woods, exploring alongside the creeks. I miss our one-on-one time.

I do the best I can to spend time with you alone, but it’s very difficult with your sister being the age she is.

So that’s why I feel like I’m watching you grow up on autopilot. I see this picture I took of my son a few weeks ago, and think, “Man, he’s starting to look like a teenager!”

Granted, that’s still several years off, but I do hope I can get back there, to when you and I had more time together. Just you and me.

Love,

Daddy

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Dear Holly: Your “Hold Me, Daddy!” Moments

1 year, 6 months.

Dear Holly,

Getting to be a daddy to a little girl is something remarkable. For me, it has been a completely different experience in raising you at your young age, compared to your brother when he was a year and a half.

Not that raising one child is a better situation than the other; I’m not comparing the two of you in that way. But noticeably, you need me on a different level than your brother ever did at this age.

I guess there’s just no way around it- I can’t help but think of John Mayer’s song, “Daughters”, right now.

Especially when it comes to emotional and physical support, those lyrics about the importance of a father’s influence on his daughter are spot on:

Fathers, be good to your daughters
Daughters will love like you do

On behalf of every man
Looking out for every girl
You are the god and weight of her world

I see this on a daily basis. I see how you constantly strive for my confirmation, my affection, and my attention… even though I freely give you all those things.

On a selfish level, that makes me feel good. It serves as a reminder that in all the uncertainty I face, as a man whose role it is to convince my family that I can take care of them, that I am definitely needed and doing something right.

A few weekends ago at the farm and pumpkin patch, a chicken stuck its head out through the fence and unintentionally scared you.

Immediately, you grabbed one of my arms with both of yours; holding so tightly until the chicken pulled itself back through the fence.

Perhaps to some, that’s just a simple, forgettable moment.

But not for me. That’s a “Hold me, Daddy!” moment. That is worth gold to me.

Love,

Daddy

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MyHeritage DNA Test: Is This a Middle Eastern Suit and Pocket Decoration? Maybe Egyptian? Or Lebanese? Or Jewish?

By taking a closer look at this man standing behind my great-grandmother, in the wedding photo of my mother’s grandparents’ wedding photo from 1919, it appears we truly are seeing my Middle Eastern, or Jewish, ancestors; which up until this year, we assumed were Italian.

My mom’s MyHeritage DNA test, as well as mine, indicate that my mom’s grandparents on her father’s side consisted of a Middle Eastern man and a Sephardic Jewish woman, from southern Italy.

Overnight, I began receiving several comments from different subscribers across the world, on the YouTube version of yesterday’s blog post. Here are the 3 that stood out the most to me:

“[The groom] does look Middle Eastern. But also Egyptian.”

“[The groom] looks Half Lebanese, Half Egyptian.”

“That man at 3:12 with something in his left shirt pocket, looks 100% middle eastern to me.”

So now I’m really curious… With the help of the Internet, I wonder if anyone would be able to help me pinpoint what native county my Middle Eastern grandfather’s side came from?

I zoomed in on the man who is seen at the 3:12 mark of the video I made. He is the one standing directly behind my Sephardic Jewish great-grandmother.  I had never noticed before how his suit and jacket and noticeably different that the other men. And yes, what exactly is that decoration on his left shirt pocket?

Whose side of the family is he from, anyway? Is he from the Jewish side or the Middle Eastern side? If all the men in the photo are with the groom’s side, then he is Middle Eastern. But if this photo shows the family member’s of each side of the wedding party, then maybe he’s on the Jewish side, which explains why he’s standing behind my great-grandmother?

What exactly can we learn about my ancestors from this man’s suit? Does anyone out there know? Can anyone help me? Please leave a comment below if you have any intuition on the subject.

I am grateful!

Also, if you’re interested in taking a DNA test like my mom and I did, here’s the link to MyHeritage.