Storytelling

Leave a comment Posted on car reviews, funny, parenting, Storytelling

Grandma Regifts As-Seen-On-TV “Perfect Polly” To Great-Grandson

January 2, 2014 at 9:22 pm , by 

3 years, 1 month.

Dear Jack,

On Christmas Eve, we took you to go visit one of my grandmas; Nonna’s Mama.

Though you’ve visited her throughout your life, I feel this time was when the light really came on for you, as you curiously confirmed what I explained on the way there:

“Your Grandma is Nonna’s Mama?” you asked.

I see how you are starting to process the concept that a family is more than just a Daddy and a Mommy and a kid.

Also as of recent, you are understanding a family can be less than that, too, as you explained to me one of the characters of Daniel Tiger’s Neighborhood, via Netflix:

“That owl doesn’t have a Mommy. He just has a Daddy.”

We took my Grandma a special Christmas gift,Perfect Polly; which is a “lifelike parakeet” that “never needs feeding.”

(Every time we go to see my Grandma, she always talks about how much she enjoys looking out her window and watching the birds eat seeds from the feeder.)

However, my Grandma instantly offered Perfect Polly to you…. and you gladly accepted. For some reason, you renamed the plastic bird “Sherry.”

Seriously, how random is that? Who would you even know with that name? That’s like naming a bird “Linda” or “Tammy” or Brenda.”

Just like how I started recently making you photo collages to accompany these letters I write you, I noticed that my Grandma keeps a photo collage of family next to her on her bulletin board; many of the pictures being of our family over the years.

Granted, you’re 3 years old, and your attention span is only so long. So after a little while, you and your cousin Calla decided to comb the halls with Papa, in a community wheelchair you found.

Of course, to you it’s not a wheelchair; it’s probably a monster truck, somehow.

I’m glad we got to see my Grandma. I want you to remember her.

Even if you spent half the time playing in the hallway, at least you did get to speak with her and she was able to see how big you’re getting.

After we left, we took you and “Sherry” to go see some Christmas lights in the Lexus LS 460 we were driving for the week; for my car review I was working on.

This Christmas we didn’t really venture too far into the Santa Claus aspect of things.

It was almost like you weren’t quite ready for that.

I feel that we kept things a bit simpler. Our Christmas holiday was more about spending quality time with family.

Speaking of, you were quite fascinated by our fancy ride in the Lexus as we drove through one of the biggest Christmas light displays I’ve seen in a while.

As Nonna put it, “This is like being in our own limo!”

You even got to see Mickey Mouse! (The blurry red figure in the upper left side of the collage.)

I like keeping things simple and nostalgic and eccentric.

Ultimately, aren’t those things what family is anyway?

 

Love,

Daddy

 

Disclaimer: The vehicle mentioned in this story was provided at the expense of Lexus, for the purpose of reviewing.

P.S. Here’s a collection of my Toyota family reviews so far; just click on title to read the full story:

2014 Lexus LS 460: 2014 Lexus LS 460 Review, From The Dad’s Perspective; Journey To Howard’s Chapel (The Church Built Into A Rock); Ironically Driving A Lexus To See A Dinosaur Named Junkasaurus Wrecks; What Parents Do When The Kids Are Asleep With The Grandparents; Grandma Regifts As-Seen-On-TV “Perfect Polly” To Great-Grandson; I’ve Heard Of Sleepwalking, But… Sleep-Eating And Sleep-Playing?

2013 Avalon Hybrid: 2013 Toyota Avalon Hybrid Review, From The Dad’s Perspective; A Family That Recycles Together Doesn’t Decompose

2013 Toyota Rav4: 2013 Toyota Rav4 Review, From The Dad’s Perspective

2014 Toyota Tundra: Dad Gives 3 Year-Old Son A Monster Truck For Birthday… Sort Of; Nashville Dad Introduces 3 Year-Old Son To Country Music; 3rd Birthday Monster Truck Road Trip: Build-A-Bear; 3rd Birthday Monster Truck Road Trip: Little River Falls, AL; 3rd Birthday Monster Truck Road Trip: Mountain Driving; 3rd Birthday Monster Truck Road Trip: Canyon Land Park; 3rd Birthday Monster Truck Road Trip: Canyon Mouth Park

2013 Toyota Sienna: We’re Ready For A Family Road Trip… Minivan Style!; It’s Officially Cool To Drive A Minivan Now

 

Leave a comment Posted on car reviews, Nostalgia, parenting, Spirituality, Storytelling

What Parents Do When The Kids Are Asleep With The Grandparents

January 1, 2014 at 11:49 pm , by 

3 years, 1 month.

Dear Jack,

On Christmas Eve, shortly after “the nice man” drove to Nonna and Papa’s house to bring me the 2014 Lexus LS 460 to review, you and your cousin Calla both crashed for a much needed nap.

Under the care of your grandparents, that meant that Mommy and I, along with Auntie Dana (my sister) and Uncle Andrew, could do whatever in the world we wanted to on that cold yet sunny December afternoon.

Given that there was a brand new Lexus LS 460 sitting in the driveway, we hit the road!

At this point in the letter, I need you to start the soundtack, which is a song called “Flowers In Your Hair,” by The Lumineers:

It’s just that the pictures you’re about to see and the randomness of what you’re about to read is best complimented by such an appropriate song.

We decided to hit the mountaintop freeway, aimlessly headed towards Little River Canyon, where we took you in the 2014 Toyota Tundra we borrowed for your 3rd birthday.

I suggested we hang a left turn onto a barely visible side road next to an old fishing tackle shop.

Fate would have it, the four of us would happen upon a perfectly Americana-style, old abandoned church.

So we checked it out, as any young Generation Y parents would do.

The doors and windows were all gone. A “no trespassing” sign was nowhere to be found.

As we entered the church, it felt like a mix between Jacob’s cabin in the woods on Lost and being in a music video for The Lumineers.

All that we could find in the church was what was left of an antique piano and a oncecomfy chair.

I liked how the ceiling was painted a dull teal color, for no apparent reason.

How in the world has this place been left in tact all this time? No punk teenagers or meth heads have taken advantage of the situation.

Not even a killer brown bear.

Just an old abandoned church that surprisingly wasn’t creepy.

While I was exploring the place, I thought about all the people, who have all surely passed on from this life by now, but who knew that church as a major part of life.

They learned about God and the teachings of Jesus and the journey to Heaven. Those people made their way out in the ice and snow and sun to see their friends and fellow believers each Sunday morning. There is even a river behind the church where they surely baptized those who were lost but had been found.

That church was a big deal to them. I didn’t take it lightly to be standing on what, especially at one time, was holy ground.

So there you have it. That’s the kind of thing your parents do when you’re asleep and your grandparents are there to watch you.

Isn’t it weird to think that, in theory, I have a life separate from you? To think that I seek entertainment and nostalgia and new memories too…

You get that from me, you know.

 

Love,

Daddy

 

Disclaimer: The vehicle mentioned in this story was provided at the expense of Lexus, for the purpose of reviewing.

P.S. Here’s a collection of my Toyota family reviews so far; just click on title to read the full story:

2014 Lexus LS 460: 2014 Lexus LS 460 Review, From The Dad’s Perspective; Journey To Howard’s Chapel (The Church Built Into A Rock); Ironically Driving A Lexus To See A Dinosaur Named Junkasaurus Wrecks; What Parents Do When The Kids Are Asleep With The Grandparents; Grandma Regifts As-Seen-On-TV “Perfect Polly” To Great-Grandson; I’ve Heard Of Sleepwalking, But… Sleep-Eating And Sleep-Playing?

2013 Avalon Hybrid: 2013 Toyota Avalon Hybrid Review, From The Dad’s Perspective; A Family That Recycles Together Doesn’t Decompose

2013 Toyota Rav4: 2013 Toyota Rav4 Review, From The Dad’s Perspective

2014 Toyota Tundra: Dad Gives 3 Year-Old Son A Monster Truck For Birthday… Sort Of; Nashville Dad Introduces 3 Year-Old Son To Country Music; 3rd Birthday Monster Truck Road Trip: Build-A-Bear; 3rd Birthday Monster Truck Road Trip: Little River Falls, AL; 3rd Birthday Monster Truck Road Trip: Mountain Driving; 3rd Birthday Monster Truck Road Trip: Canyon Land Park; 3rd Birthday Monster Truck Road Trip: Canyon Mouth Park

2013 Toyota Sienna: We’re Ready For A Family Road Trip… Minivan Style!; It’s Officially Cool To Drive A Minivan Now

 

Leave a comment Posted on car reviews, parenting, Spirituality, Storytelling

Journey To Howard’s Chapel (The Church Built Into A Rock)

January 1, 2014 at 6:49 pm , by 

3 years, 1 month.

Dear Jack,

As I just got finished explaining in my last letter to you, we took the Lexus LS 460 on a “guys only” mini-road trip early Christmas morning.

Our destinaton was Sallie Howard Memorial Chapel (A.K.A. “Howard’s Chapel”) in Mentone, AL; just a few miles from the house I grew up.

I specifically planned this trip because I felt at age 3, you are officially old enough to at least half-way remember going to such a cool and quirky place.

Finished in 1937, the chapel was built into a huge rock.

As if that weren’t interesting enough, the creative man responsible for having the church built, Milford Howard, had a last wish of having his ashes “buried” into the rock of the church.

My entire life, anytime I have wanted to, I have been able to visit the chapel; the doors are always open.

It’s really fascinating!

We got to explore the small church, seeing up close how the building was built into the rock and where Milford Howard’s ashes are buried.

I have a passion for (and a hobby of) finding obscure little treasures that seem like they should be part of a weird dream that you sort of almost remember from your childhood.

Except this is obviously real. So I took plenty of pictures of your first visit there to prove to you that it wasn’t just a dream.

As we were leaving, I asked you if you liked visiting the chapel. Your response:

“No, I don’t like it. There’s no people here.”

That makes sense. You’re used to seeing friends and playing with toys at our shopping mall-sized church we go to.

So to drop into a church where there are no people, because they weren’t currently having a service while we were there, I’m sure it didn’t actually seem to you like being at church.

Oh well, I enjoyed being there.

I think you might have been a bit preoccupied about the “giant robot” that was next-up on our journey.

To be continued….

 

Love,

Daddy

 

Disclaimer: The vehicle mentioned in this story was provided at the expense of Lexus, for the purpose of reviewing.

P.S. Here’s a collection of my Toyota family reviews so far; just click on title to read the full story:

2014 Lexus LS 460: 2014 Lexus LS 460 Review, From The Dad’s Perspective; Journey To Howard’s Chapel (The Church Built Into A Rock); Ironically Driving A Lexus To See A Dinosaur Named Junkasaurus Wrecks; What Parents Do When The Kids Are Asleep With The Grandparents; Grandma Regifts As-Seen-On-TV “Perfect Polly” To Great-Grandson; I’ve Heard Of Sleepwalking, But… Sleep-Eating And Sleep-Playing?

2013 Avalon Hybrid: 2013 Toyota Avalon Hybrid Review, From The Dad’s Perspective; A Family That Recycles Together Doesn’t Decompose

2013 Toyota Rav4: 2013 Toyota Rav4 Review, From The Dad’s Perspective

2014 Toyota Tundra: Dad Gives 3 Year-Old Son A Monster Truck For Birthday… Sort Of; Nashville Dad Introduces 3 Year-Old Son To Country Music; 3rd Birthday Monster Truck Road Trip: Build-A-Bear; 3rd Birthday Monster Truck Road Trip: Little River Falls, AL; 3rd Birthday Monster Truck Road Trip: Mountain Driving; 3rd Birthday Monster Truck Road Trip: Canyon Land Park; 3rd Birthday Monster Truck Road Trip: Canyon Mouth Park

2013 Toyota Sienna: We’re Ready For A Family Road Trip… Minivan Style!; It’s Officially Cool To Drive A Minivan Now

Leave a comment Posted on parenting, People, Storytelling

I Have Become A Lifesize Cardboard Cutout On Facebook

December 28, 2013 at 11:18 pm , by 

3 years, 1 month.

Dear Jack,

This letter was supposed to be a funny one about how I’m a typical dad in the way I hide your toys when you refuse to put them away when I ask you to.

But seeing that this is my last letter of 2013, I want it to have a more retrospective perspective.

So I’ll save my originally intended programming for next week and/or next year.

Instead, I can’t help but think of what this year, 2013, has taught me on this gloomy and rainy December night; letting this all soak in.

It’s been an interesting year for me in that it’s been like a dichotomy.

Three months into the year, I became a (new wave) vegan, which proved to take an epic psychosocial toll on me; yet physically and psychologically, I’ve never been healthier, and more at peace and in a state of gratitude.

(I have even sworn off caffeine for the rest of my life, as well; because I see it as the most unregulated addictive stimulant in the world.)

One of my favorite bands ever, Third Eye Blind, sings one of my favorite songs ever, “Motorcycle Drive By.” My favorite line of it serves as a bit of a motto to describe the private challenges I’ve dealt with inside my brain this year:

“And there’s this burning like there’s never been/And I’ve never been so alone/And I’ve never been so alive”

Before it sounds like I’m throwing myself a pity party, let me just clarify. I’m not alone. I have you and Mommy. I have family. I have friends. I have plenty of meaning in my life.

I have joy!

But there’s an undeniable disconnect that I suddenly became aware of during the weeks following my denying of animal products for nutritional sustenance. It was like cutting myself off from the rest of the world. I by default ostracized myself from what is normal in society. After all, I no longer participate in that historical human shared experience.

Then a few months later, for all practical purposes, I did something similar when I “quit” Facebook.

I went from spending a minimum of 30 minutes to 60 minutes a day scrolling through my Facebook feed, commenting and corresponding, and accidently instigating polarizing conversations based on my opinions that half my friends agreed with, while the other half didn’t.

Plus, I confused a lot of people whenever I used sarcasm.

So since June, I have made a conscious effort to spend only 30 to 60 seconds (!) a day on Facebook. Perhaps, in a sense, it’s selfish to my Facebook friends, but for this 2nd half of the year, the only news on Facebook I have known about is what shows up at the very top of my news feed; which is what the free market of my 960 Faceook friends decided was the most relevant that day.

After all, that’s how I found out about this amazingly stellar article, “Selfie Syndrome- How Social Media Is Making Us Narcissistic,” which is currently going viral.

It explains that, based on studies, “People who tend to use Facebook the most tend to have more narcissistic personalities or insecure personalites.”

That’s a weird thought… to be both narcissitic and insecure.

Well, in theory, that was me for the first half of the year.

No question- the second half of the year, sans Facebook dependance, was by far the better half of the year for me. I have simply been happier.

I have had time to focus on what really matters: you and Mommy. Being a dad and being a husband.

Without the two of you, who am I?

Just a bearded dude in a medium-sized funny t-shirt.

As for Facebook, I am now merely a lifesize cardboard cutout who smiles and waves, but ultimately, has no personal opinions.

Because like the idea of free speech, the “social factor” of social media is an illusion.

Anything I say or post in social media could come back to haunt me in my future career, and I’ve skated pretty close on that fine line this year.

But I’ve taken that extra 30 to 60 minutes a day that I used to spend trying to be clever on Facebook and Twitter, and instead use it on you and Mommy.

Here’s to 2014- the most realistic, unnarcissitic, most secure year I’ve never known- full of art and meaning.

 

Love,

Daddy

Leave a comment Posted on parenting, Storytelling

The Conquest Of A Big Boy Bed, At 3 Years Old

December 28, 2013 at 8:06 pm , by 

3 years, 1 month.

Dear Jack,

As part of your Christmas gift from Nonna and Papa (my parents), you received a cash envelope to help with the conquest of getting your “big boy bed.”

So I did my research at Mattress Firm during my lunch break and came to the conclusion we’d get the best quality for our money there.

After all, a new bed is an investment for years to come. We wanted to make sure we did this thing right.

While I admit it was a bit trying on Mommy and Daddy’s sanity to have you exploring the store while we made such a huge decision, you sure had fun checking everything out, trying out the mattresses and contraptions you discovered.

Ultimately, it made the best sense for us to also buy a new bed for ourselves, in addition to yours. They cut us a special deal since we bought two beds, so I was happy to save money!

Since going debt-free back in July (eternal “thank you” goes to Dave Ramsey), we’ve been saving up the income we were using to pay off debt each month, so we could afford new beds without using credit or worrying about clearing out our bank account.

Mommy and Daddy’s old bed had ultimately become a giant, spongy taco after over half a decade.

It was pretty sad, actually.

You helped pay with one of my old sub sandwich cards.

Not to mention, you’ll notice a picture of the men’s restroom sign here in this collage, which signifies you went potty there.

Speaking of trying Mommy and Daddy’s sanity, I will admit that tearing down your old bed and setting up your new one with you in the room with us wasn’t a cake walk either.

Mommy found ways to help you entertain yourself by getting you to read us books and to pretend the rockasan chair was a pirate ship.

Something funny that happened while I was tearing your toddler bed down was when I grabbed the wrench from my tool box.

It was the one I used 2 and a half years ago when I designed the logo for The Dadabase! I never removed the masking tape after all this time. And I still didn’t this week after realizing it!

Well, it was definitely a conquest and a chore, but you, as well as Mommy and me, have new beds, at last.

For you, it’s one step further in becoming a big boy. As for your parents, it means we’re no longer sleeping in a giant taco.

 

Love,

Daddy