On My Wife’s 43rd Birthday, Looking Back on When We Were in Our 20s

As we still continue to “pare down” our belongings from the move to Alabama, I came across a stack of the customized calendars I would make for my wife and I each month to keep at our desks at work, back during the first decade of the 2000’s.

It’s funny to think that there were a couple of years before we were married, before I started blogging, running my YouTube channel, and regularly writing new songs, that I would instead use my creativity to craft monthly calendars featuring pictures of what we had done together the month before.

Today my wife joins me in turning 43 years old. (I’m 113 days older than her.)

It has been interesting to look back through these now “old” photos of us when we were in our 20s! I was 27 and she was about to turn 27 when we got married in 2008.

These calendars stopped before we ever reached our 30s; in the 2010s. Two reasons: One is because we became parents at age 29. The other is that I began focusing on my role as Parents magazine’s daddy blogger.

So much has happened in our lives since I stopped making these calendars. We lived through our entire 30s- and as of today, we are a third of our way through our 40s.

Through all the stress that came with putting our Tennessee home on the market this year, finding a new home in Alabama, and making the move across state lines, it’s really rewarding to be able to stop for a minute and look through these old pictures of us.

It’s like I’m able to see our lives together from a 3rd party’s perspective looking in:

“Wow, we’ve shared an amazing life together so far. This is really nice. We both made a really good choice when we chose each other back in 2007.”

Happy Birthday Jill!

 

We are Currently “Settling In” Our Alabama Home… But Not Yet “Settled In”

Exactly 16 years ago today, my wife and I got married. It was a clever and strategic choice to be married on July 5th, knowing our wedding anniversary would always have a paid day off from work attached to the date before it.

Our wedding anniversary this year is particularly special, in that any babies born on the exact day we got married are currently taking their driver’s license test today. Also, we are now at the end of our first week of actually living in our house in Alabama.

To be clear, we are not “settled in” yet. Instead, we are “settling in”.

While we are indeed cooking meals in our kitchen now and sleeping in our beds in our bedrooms which now have door handles that lock, there is no question that our home looks like we are on our way… to being classified as hoarders.

Despite our Alabama house being nearly identical in square footage, my wife and I are using this time to get rid of as much of our stuff as we can; to make our Alabama home tidier than our Tennessee home. Instead of having to go through the trouble of deciding where to put our belongings, the easiest choice is to just give it away.

Sometimes that means we give it to my parents or my sister. Other times, it means I drag the unnecessary items out in front of our house; which happens to be on a busy connecting street from one side of the town to the other.

A few days ago, our daughter started laughing as she announced, “Hey Daddy, there’s a man in our yard stealing something and putting it in his car!”

I responded, “Oh good! He’s hauling off the living room rug and the bathroom shelf!”

Like I mentioned before, much of our inspiration in moving to Alabama is to live a “quieter life”. One of the ways we will be doing that is by having a living space that is without clutter.

As we are paring down our possessions each day, I am also looking less and less like a meerkat…

I managed to live through the entire process of finding a house to buy in Alabama, selling our house in Tennessee, renovating our home in Alabama, and packing up and moving to Tennessee- all without ever feeling one ounce of anxiety or stress.

Well, at least I didn’t experience anxiety or stress in my mind. But subconsciously, my body absorbed it all, in the form of a spreading rash.

Strangely enough, the unquenchable itch began around my eyes (now the meerkat reference makes more sense); then around my neck and down across my arms. No amount of aloe vera would give me relief.

At first, I thought it was because I started drinking a cup of beet juice in the morning once I moved to Alabama. But no matter what I ate or drank, or didn’t eat or drink, the rash continued to intensify.

At the end of the month that we lived with my parents, my mom told me, “I have a feeling once you move into your own space in your new house, that rash is going to go away.”

She wasn’t wrong.

After all, Enneagram 9s like me use repressed anger as an underlying fuel source; powered not by minds (head) or our emotions (heart) but by our bodies (gut).

So unknowingly, I literally wore my feelings on my sleeve?

To be sure, my wife and I hired DUCTS Air Duct Cleaning to professionally clean out all our vents in our Alabama house.

They sucked up a scary amount of sawdust, wooden debris, and lent that was trapped in our home’s ventilation tubes. This was not only from all the renovations we’ve been doing, but also from the nearly 3 decades of previous owners of this house.

As we have begun settling in this week, it quickly became apparent that our neighbors are amazing. The day we moved in, our next door neighbor had delivered flowers to us. The girl across the street baked cookies and brought them to us. And the couple behind our house reached to to us to let us know we are welcome to let our kids play in their yard, which more than doubles our own yard space.

We are noticing that the positive effects of living a quieter life are showing up in our kids. They are choosing to talk to each other and play together… on their own.

Granted, it’s themed around aggressive pillow fights in the living room, laced with obscure trash talking: “You don’t even know how to hatch!”

We are settling in. I like it.

 

Dear Holly: A Little Girl’s Bedroom Inside of a Little Girl’s Bedroom

8 years.

Dear Holly,

Your big birthday gift from Mommy and me was an Our Generation bedroom for your dolls; which you specifically asked for.

I laughed out loud the first morning I walked into your bedroom after you set it up and broke it in, by having your dolls arrange some of their accessories in it.

The thought is hilarious, absurd, and yet completely logical for an 8 year-old girl:

That a little girl’s bedroom is now inside of a little girl’s bedroom.

When I asked you how old your newest Our Generation doll Jenny is, you responded, “She’s 8, like me.”

So it is confirmed: In my house, I have an 8 year-old girl with a bedroom that hosts its own bedroom for another 8 year-old girl.

It is quite the frame-in-frame situation.

Love,

Daddy

Dear Jack: One More Month to Spend Time with Your Current Friends

13 years, 5 months.

Dear Jack,

Our house here in Tennessee officially goes on the market this coming Monday.

With your 7th grade school year coming to a close in about a month, these are the final weeks of you seeing and hanging out with your current group of friends everyday.

Often after school, you go to hang out with them; playing basketball or football in our neighborhood or one of the surrounding ones.

I’m not sure that you’ve really processed this yet, but even though you’ll still have their cell phone numbers and will be able to keep in touch with them after we move, you are facing a turning point in your life where you will be leaving them behind and making new friends.

So when I see this picture of you and your friends right now, this is what I think about.

 

Love,

Daddy

Dear Holly: We Visited Your New School

7 years, 11 months.

Dear Holly,

During your Spring Break a few weeks ago in the midst of all the renovations we were working on for our newly purchased home in Alabama, we squeezed in an afternoon to take you to go visit the school you will be transferring to for your 3rd grade year this fall.

We couldn’t help but be thoroughly impressed by not only the building itself, but also all of the teachers and students, as we were given a personal tour by the principal.

I was waiting for any moment, that everyone would break out in song, as if we were in a musical.

As we were getting a tour of the library, a little girl walked up to you and said, “I like your shoes. My name is Isabella.”

Needless to say, you can not wait to transfer to your new school in Alabama.

Love,

Daddy