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6 Comments Posted on fatherhood, parenting, People, toy reviews, Uncategorized

Dear Holly: Could You BE Anymore Obsessed With Minnie Mouse Clothes?!

2 years, 1 month.

Dear Holly,

You are at a point where you have all the toys that I could imagine you’d even have time to play with.

With your 2nd birthday a month behind you, Mommy reminded me you still had a gift card with money on it. We couldn’t justify using it to buy you another toy, especially knowing that you undeniably have a certain interest that even overpowers toys:

Minnie Mouse clothes!

Your obsession is pretty bad, actually. After Mommy carefully selected the best Minnie Mouse clothes for you online using the gift card, you were so excited to open them a few days later in the mail.

Needless to say, you wanted to wear one of the shirts immediately; which meant you would wear it to dinner and to bed.

You accidentally spilled some oatmeal on it, to the point it would need to be washed.

But Mommy had a feeling that you were going to want to wear it the next day as well. So while you were asleep that night, she put it in the laundry.

And yes, you wore it the entire next day as well.

If you had it your way, Minnie Mouse would be on every single outfit you wore, including your pajamas.

I’m not sure how and when you discovered your love for Minnie Mouse, or even why you like her so much, but truly, you are obsessed!

Never mind about the new toys you could have right now. You’re all set.

In fact, I’m convinced you’d rather have Minnie Mouse clothes than another Minnie Mouse doll or Minnie Mouse toy anyway.

You are obsessed with Minnie Mouse the same way your brother was obsessed with Thomas the Train at your age.

There must be something about Minnie Mouse and 2 year-old little girls that makes them the perfect match for each other!

Love,

Daddy

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Dear Jack: Catching a Snake, Learning to Ride a Bike and Tie Your Shoes on Your 1st Week of Summer Break

7 years, 6 months.

Dear Jack,

It only took 24 hours into your first week of summer break, which you’re spending at Nonna and Papa’s, to accomplish the two main goals I had for you to be able to do before you start 2nd grade:

To learn how to ride a bicycle without training wheels and to learn how to tie your shoes.

(Click here to check out the best bikes for kids.)

Papa was the one who taught me to do those same things exactly 30 years ago in the summer of 1988. So I’m not surprised he was able to teach you so quickly.

As for you, though, you had some goals of your own, which you revealed to me before you even left for Alabama:

To catch lots of bugs… and a snake.

Yep. You were able to do those things as well, in your first 24 hours of summer break.

What’s funny is, I don’t exactly know all the details yet, as Nonna is very good about sending lots of pictures. But this weekend when we come pick you up, I’ll get a better understanding of how you and Papa conveniently were able to find and catch a non-poisonous snake.

In addition to the snake, you are also very proud of your pet snail, who you went swimming with in the pool in the backyard.

And even your new pet centipede has been quite exciting for you, as Papa let you use his power drill to make breathing holes in the bucket that you’re using for the centipede’s temporary home.

It’s amazing how much you’re able to accomplish in such a short amount of time when you’re at Nonna and Papa’s house.

I think you’re pretty lucky to have such a perfect place to go for summer camp. The rest of the summer will be hard to beat at this point.

Love,

Daddy

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Dear Holly: You’re Missing Your Brother This Week While He’s in Alabama

2 years, 1 months.

Dear Holly,

With your brother finishing 1st grade last week, Mommy and I decided it would be a nice change of pace for him to spend this week at Nonna and Papa’s house. It’s only been a few days now, but you’ve made it very clear you miss him.

You ask me each morning, “Where’s Jackie?”

However, it didn’t take long for you to jump up in his bed and play with his toys in his room. It was your way of not only showing you were thinking about him, but that you might as well take advantage of the situation if wasn’t there to stop you.

For me, it’s a strange concept to just have one child in our house this week.

It’s a glimpse of what life could have been like had you been born first, instead of your brother. In particular, it reminds me that your brother had 5 and a half years as an only child, before you were born.

This week serves as one of the few times in your life where you’ve known what it was like to be an only child. You’re used to being the younger, baby sister. That’s how your brother sees you and treats you; so to a large degree, you adopt that title as your identity.

Granted, the two of you will always be in different stages of childhood; so you’re never really having to compete in the same way that siblings who are closer in age might experience.

In a way, both you and your brother get to be an “only child” to some degree.

In just a few days though, you’ll be reunited with Jackie. I can see you don’t quite feel complete without him. I imagine it’s difficult to feel like a little baby sister when your older brother isn’t right there next to you.

Love,

Daddy

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Dear Jack: Your Pet Millipede That Miraculously (and Secretly) Survived a Week Somewhere Inside Our House

7 and a half years old!

Dear Jack,

Something I enjoy about writing these letters to you each week is that it’s my way of preserving memories of you at whatever age you are at the time. As of this week, you are now 7 and a half years old. I feel this story perfectly illustrates who you are right now, as a 7 and a half year-old boy in his last week of 1st grade.

As the school year is coming to a close, your teacher has been doing some extra special, extra fun things for your class. For example, she let you bring home (and keep) the class pet:

A millipede.

Nonna and Papa just happened to be in town that weekend. You loved showing off your millipede friend to them.

But then, the next today, Mommy shared this as her status update on Facebook:

The pet millipede escaped. #enoughsaid

That’s because the millipede amazingly escaped through the “breathing hole” that you punched into the plastic wrap covering the Rice Krispies bowl. This meant your pet was able to crawl upside-down along the plastic in order to escape.

I assured Mommy that if your pet millipede was smart enough to escape your homemade aquarium, it would be smart enough to find its way out of our house.

Fortunately, I was partially right, because a week later, Mommy shared this update:

Millipede update– he was found!! Alive and well 6 days after his disappearance. He was spotted hanging out by the front door, so we let him free and we bid him a nice farewell with some cilantro and celery leaves  So glad I never stepped on him 

When I say sometimes how you are a well-balanced kid, this is what I mean.

You’re a smart kid. You’re a well behaved kid.

And you love playing with bugs.

Perfect for a 7 and a half year-old boy, if you ask me!

Love,

Daddy

Leave a comment Posted on fatherhood, parenting, People, spanking, Spirituality, Uncategorized

Is It a Coincidence I’ve Never Spanked My Children and Yet They are Known for How Well Behaved They Are? “Misbehavior” is a Signal a Child is Hungry, Tired, Bored, Lonely and/or Sick

I recently made a video on my YouTube channel for Family Friendly Daddy Blog where I asked everyone for help, tongue-in-cheek, about what I should do since it is normal for parents to spank their children, yet I never have, explaining that my children are known for how well-behaved they are.

Even just this past week, my 7 year-old son was invited to go to Chili’s with another boy his age in our neighborhood. The first thing the boy’s dad told my wife and I when they returned from dinner was this:

“Your son is so well-behaved! I’m not used to that. Usually, I’m spending my time getting the boys to settle down. But I never had any issues with your son as the friend my son chose to take along! He’s great!”

And for both all of Kindergarten and 1st grade, whenever the teachers have given us feedback it’s always the same:

“He is a very well-behaved boy. And smart, too! Yes, I have to remind him not to talk to his friends during class at times, but he truly is a model student.”

As for my daughter, she just turned 2 years old, but she is also known for being a bright, yet mild-mannered little girl.

So here’s the question:

Is it just a coincidence that both of my children are known for their good behavior; and as their parents, my wife nor I have ever spanked them?

It raises the question of how necessary spanking actually is:

If what I’ve been doing as a parent has yielded a well balanced, well behaved children, what is the point of spanking them?

But if I’m not spanking my children in order to get them to behave, then what am I doing? Because, no, my kids were not just born with some magic gene where they automatically know how to behave.

And granted, they still require much teaching and direction regarding how to behave. But I provide that for them, instead of physically striking them. I accept they are still kids, too.

So I don’t freak out when my son leaves a note on the couch for his sister, with a picture of her with an “x” through it, saying, “go home away“.

The way I see it, it’s not a matter so much of disciplining my children. Instead, it’s about proactively managing their physical, social, and psychological needs.

It’s a simple 5 step program that I invented years ago. When a young child is perceived to be “misbehaving”, I recognize they don’t yet have the emotional intelligence to verbally communicate what they really need. I interpret that “misbehavior” as a predictable signal or warning to the parent that they are at least one of the following:

Hungry

Tired

Bored

Lonely

Sick

So as their parent, I am constantly prepared to feed my children, help them get to sleep, find a way for them to entertain themselves, socialize with them, or restore them to good health.

It’s true that my method isn’t the norm. Only 20% of parents worldwide are like me, in that they don’t spank their children.

I’m okay with not being normal. Especially if my kids are known for being well-behaved without having to hit them.

Here’s the question that I want to close with:

Is it a coincidence I’ve never spanked my children and yet they are known for how well behaved they are? Or am I on to something with my simple 5 step program?

Photo courtesy of April Milan Photography.