parenting

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Dear Holly: The One-to-One Parent-to-Kid Ratio When You Get Here

29 weeks.

Dear Holly: The One-to-One Parent-to-Kid Ratio When You Get Here

Dear Holly,

There will be quite the celebration when you arrive in about 11 weeks. It’s so exciting to see new packages at our door every couple of days: new outfits for you, as well as diapers and wipes…

And even that double stroller a few weeks ago. This weekend your brother Jack enjoyed testing it out.

While he is excited, he’s also getting anxious about the changes that will happen when you are born.

Here’s what I predict will happen. For the first several months, I think he and I will naturally team up, to balance out the fact Mommy will be spending so much time taking care of you as a mother does for her newborn.

There will be a one-to-one parent-to-kid ratio for the first time in our family.

That’s actually fine by me. First the first year and a half of your brother’s life, I was by default the 3rd wheel. It was undeniable.

Jack was needing so much of Mommy’s attention, both physically and psychologically, that I often just felt like the silent chauffeur and custodian.

Socially, I didn’t really feel that needed.

I feel that won’t be the case in April.

Jack will depend on me as someone to keep paying attention to him on a constant basis, which as an only child up until this point, is something he’s accustomed to.

My plan is simply this: I’ll do whatever Mommy needs help with for you, but really, my main job as a parent for the first several months will be to help your brother Jack transition into his role as big brother.

As for you and I, if this is anything like it was for Jack and me, then you won’t really think I’m that big of a deal until you’re about 15 months old. Until then, I’ll mainly be a blurry figure with a deep voice.

I’m okay with that. I know what to expect.

It’s a matter of respecting everyone’s role and place. Mine will be your brother Jack’s shadow until you are able to become more physically independent, but that will be a while.

Love,

Daddy

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Dear Jack: Your 1st Signs of Anxiety about Becoming a Big Brother

5 years, 2 months.

Dear Jack: Your 1st Signs of Anxiety about Becoming a Big Brother

Dear Jack,

A popular question people having been recently asking me is this:

“How is Jack handling the news about there being another baby on the way?”

I was always able to quickly and easily respond by telling them you are excited, and that with a 5 and a year difference, I predict there will be no real concern on your end about a sense of competition.

That changed this week.

Normally you are the happiest kid I know. But on Tuesday night, you were much different at the dinner table.

We had to take you up to bed early because you weren’t really eating and you were crying about (seemingly) nothing and everything all at once.

So we just assumed you didn’t take a nap at school and needed to get to bed sooner.

While that was true, there was more to it.

In your emotionally vulnerable state, you eventually told Mommy that night during bath time:

“I’m sad that you are excited about the baby.”

Just an hour or so before, Mommy and I had been doting over the cute, girly outfits that we had received in the mail for Holly.

You went on to tell Mommy: “I wish things could stay the same.”

When she replied you two would get to be together for the summer while she is on maternity leave, you said “Just me and you?”

I knew you are smart kid, but I was unaware at 5 years old that you are able to clearly express your anxieties and fears to us, in such a sober and direct way.

That’s emotional intelligence.

It’s not my attention and affection that you fear missing. It’s Mommy’s.

She and I talked about it more. It’s heartbreaking to see you this way, worrying that you’ll lose your relationship status with Mommy.

In some ways, there is reality in your fears of things changing when your sister gets here.

But at the same time, you have two parents who are proactively dedicated to making sure we help you with this transition.

Love,

Daddy

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I Cry Every Time I Watch Inside Out (and I am a Man)

I Cry Every Time I Watch Inside Out

It’s true and I am not ashamed. I know that’s technically the least masculine blog title I have ever used, but I am comfortable with it.

I took my son to see Inside Out this past summer when it first came out, then we watched it as a family this weekend now that it’s out at Redbox.

Granted, I’ve only seen it twice so far, but I am confident that I will never be able to keep dry eyes for any future viewings of it. Still, I can legitimately proclaim that I cry every time I watch Inside Out.

Just to be clear, if you were sitting next to me while watching Inside Out, you wouldn’t know I was crying.

You wouldn’t hear anything about of me.

But if you simply turned to me to look me in the eyes, you would see tears running down both sides of my face.

Yes, it’s suppressed crying, but it’s still crying.

Sunday night after the movie ended, my wife, my son, and I all looked at each other’s wet cheeks, then laughed at the fact we all just saw proof of each other crying.

It’s not that Inside Out is a sad movie, because I don’t believe that it is.

Instead, with it being a movie about emotional intelligence, Inside Out undeniably reveals the love that involved parents have for their children.

The movie provides an enlightening experience as it reminds us that the emotion of sadness is necessary and vital; especially as it strengthens family relationships.

I might just have to proclaim that Inside Out is officially my favorite Disney movie, ever. It appears the general public agrees, as the movie has earned an impressive 98% rating on Rotten Tomatoes.

And it has been nominated for an Oscar for best animated feature film.

It’s one of the few Disney movies to not adhere to the stereotype that the protagonist’s parents are dead. Instead, her parents are alive and well, and are actually good people.

Compare them to Elsa and Anna’s parents, in Frozen, who instead of confronting the issue that one of their daughters had a special power that makes her different, they basically locked up both of their daughters and kept them from interacting with each other. And if that psychological drama wasn’t enough, then the parents had to die, like almost every other Disney protagonist’s parents.

Of course, there is a very legitimate theory that Riley, the protagonist of Inside Out, is adopted.

But whether she is or is not adopted, that doesn’t change the fact that the movie does a wonderful job of expressing from the inside out what it’s like to be a parent and a kid who is part of a loving family.

And again, it’s also a fact that I’ll cry every time I watch this movie.

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Uncle Nick’s Enchanted Forest 14 through 19: The Blizzard Webisodes

Uncle Nick’s Enchanted Forest 14 through 19: The Blizzard Webisodes

From January 22nd to the 24th, I filmed 6 webisodes of Uncle Nick’s Enchanted Forest. Similar to the way I filmed 4 webisodes after the Christmas 2015 flash flood, I took advantage of the weather condition, making it the plotline of these half a dozen webisodes.

And starting with Webisode 18, I introduce a fun new theme song as well as a new animal hat…

I’ve gotten to the point where I pretty much just keep my camera, tripod, and Uncle Nick costume in my car with me; in order that I can always be prepared to shoot an episode on the spot.

Good thing I was ready on Friday, January 22nd, when the blizzard kicked in. I have a coworker, Shane Moore, who is quick and faithful to help me out with some of the shoots.

So he served as my camera man and assistant director for the first 2 webisodes of the blizzard story arc.

Webisode 14 features Mama Bear and Baby Bear, who get separated during the beginning of the blizzard. It’s up to Uncle Nick to reunite them!

In Webisode 15, we are introduced to a poor little homeless Husky who is stranded out in the middle of the snow storm. Uncle Nick must find her a new home to get her warm.

The remaining 4 webisodes of the blizzard story arc were filmed Saturday and Sunday morning; just me and my tripod.

Webisode 16 finds Piper the Penguin frozen to the ice. Uncle Nick must find a place to keep her safe until the other penguins return.

In Webisode 17, Uncle Nick must resuscitate a lizard he finds who is literally freezing in the river.

Then in Webisode 18, Uncle Nick encounters a sleepwalking pig, who is headed towards a frozen lake.

And finally, in Webisode 19, Uncle Nick must discover, and uncover, a frozen frog on a log.

In the next story arc of episodes, the plot will definitely be thickening…

If you haven’t checked out my Uncle Nick series, I encourage you to, with a younger child next to you. I predict it will be an engaging experience.

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Dear Jack: The January 2016 Blizzard in Spring Hill, TN (Pictures and Videos)

5 years, 2 months.

Dear Jack: The January 2016 Blizzard in Spring Hill, TN (Pictures and Videos)

Dear Jack,

Last Friday morning, Nashville began shutting down. Virtually everyone was sent home from school and work, as the blizzard was beginning.

I am so grateful that it happened exactly when it did: over the weekend.

Dear Jack: The January 2016 Blizzard in Spring Hill, TN (Pictures and Videos)

There was so pressure to try to have to get out in the snowy chaos on the roads for work the next couple of days afterwards, only to have to use my vacation days if I couldn’t make it out of the driveway.

Instead, you and I had the best time!

Dear Jack: The January 2016 Blizzard in Spring Hill, TN (Pictures and Videos)

Mommy preferred the snow better from inside the house. Though she did brag on herself at one point, “I got out on the snow when I checked the mail.”

Meanwhile, you and I made the most of it. Ultimately, nothing we did was what some may call… safe. It was all dangerous, which made it convenient that Mommy didn’t venture out into the snow with us.

I made this video of our adventures together:

Our tour of danger began with you sledding for the first time. While you went down the hill several times with your neighbor friend, Marissa, you weren’t afraid to go alone either.

Dear Jack: The January 2016 Blizzard in Spring Hill, TN (Pictures and Videos)

In fact, since you were the youngest and smallest there at the neighborhood sledding hill, you were the only one small enough to get lodged underneath the wooden fence when the sled didn’t stop in time.

An older boy, who is in the 4th grade commented about you: “Man, that little kid is tough!”

Dear Jack: The January 2016 Blizzard in Spring Hill, TN (Pictures and Videos)

Because with all the bumps and scratches, you never once showed an ounce of fear; you just laughed about it all.

Dear Jack: The January 2016 Blizzard in Spring Hill, TN (Pictures and Videos)

We also ventured over the “climbing wall,” which was the side of 15 foot tall hill, which was laced with a bunch of snow-covered rocks.

You were curious to walk on a frozen pond with me, so I took you to a large puddle that looked like a pond instead. (I knew the water there was barely a foot deep even at the deepest parts.)

Dear Jack: The January 2016 Blizzard in Spring Hill, TN (Pictures and Videos)

And then there was the part where you kept rolling down the tall hill near the creek.

Speaking of the creek, we followed it all the way into the next neighborhood, as you jumped across it along the way.

Dear Jack: The January 2016 Blizzard in Spring Hill, TN (Pictures and Videos)

We took advantage of the adventurous weather. You and I make a good danger team.

Love,

Daddy

Dear Jack: The January 2016 Blizzard in Spring Hill, TN (Pictures and Videos)